Undying Hope (24 page)

“We are still working on that,” Riordan said. “We have several of the more powerful males of other provinces in the city, including our nephews, helping to keep an eye on the humans.”

She drew in a sharp breath. Riordan wouldn’t tell her if Kyros went on a rampage through the city. Everyone seemed to think she was too delicate to handle the truth. If Kyros killed, those deaths would be on her hands.

“No, he makes his own choices,”
Nikon said.
“You cannot take the blame for what an insane Undying does. He would make those kills anyway, and if you’d not forced Quinn’s hand, there would be no one left to stop him.”

Haven didn’t exactly want Riordan listening to her side of the conversation. “
And I do understand that, I think, but Quinn said he made a pact. What are the ramifications of him breaking it?”

The wolf turned his gaze on hers. “
If Kyros wasn’t insane, it would mean the dark one’s death, but since Kyros is one of the hunted, the only danger is any retribution Kyros would take. Which, considering his power, could be substantial.”

She closed her eyes and let out a breath. She should have thought of all the people Kyros could hurt because of what she’d done.
“What are the consequences for what I did that no one is telling me about?”

Nikon nuzzled her hand.
“There are six Cadfaels with their Caden teams in the city. So far, no one has reported a death, but Kyros is trying to punish the dark one for not giving up his power.”

Haven drew in a calming breath. She was going to have to trust Wolf had known this would happen and that the Undying would be able to protect innocent people from the choice she’d had to make.
“There is a lot I need to learn about being an Undying, isn’t there?”

“Yes, but you have many around you who will help you, and Wolf has prepared a gift for you.”

“Wolf? Gift?”

The sound of wolf laughter filled her mind. “
He will arrive before Quinn. He may seem odd to you, but he has always been practical and feels that knowledge is paramount in avoiding tragedy… And I think he’s developed a bit of a soft spot for you.”

Haven knitted her brows together. Wolf didn’t seem the type to have a soft spot for anyone. Quinn’s absence weighed heavily on her, and she began to wonder exactly how large a rift she’d created between them. She had tried several times to reach out to him, wherever he was, but he kept his defenses firmly in place and didn’t even respond to her plea for him to at least acknowledge her. Nikon nuzzled his nose into her hand. “
Do not despair, young heart. Quinn is the strongest of his kind. He will not allow himself to fail.”

Haven knew that, but she also knew he considered what she’d done his own failure. She left Riordan in the kitchen and wandered through the penthouse. She nearly jumped out of her skin when a hand came down over her shoulder while she was studying Quinn’s battle regalia. She whirled around and stared up at Wolf. “Oh, it’s you.”

His expression was unreadable and his face hard. He handed her a gift-wrapped package. She had to snap it in close to her chest to prevent the book from falling. It was heavy, like some kind of book. She chewed on her lip for a moment before she went into the living room and sat down, awkwardly putting the gift on the coffee table so she could unwrap it.

Both of Quinn’s brothers and several wolves followed to watch her. Medea came to rest at her feet. Haven patted her head before she peeled back the beautiful paper and found a leather bound book with a strange symbol carved into the cover. She turned to the heading page. Neat script writing filled the beautiful gold-leaf pages. It was a manual. She beamed at Wolf as she started flipping through the book. There was a section on their laws, one on their rituals, a section about different kinds of supernatural beings, one on magic, and another on history. There was countless other information filling nearly a thousand pages. All the basic material she would need to start her new life. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, little sister.”

“Who wrote it?”

“I did,” Wolf replied. “I have several copies. We cannot be too careful with our families.”

Her hand ran over the cover. “Thank you, Wolf. I love it.”

His face flashed into an odd expression before turning back to stone. “You are welcome. Now, you will let Riordan fix your arm.”

“Shouldn’t I have healed when I became Undying?” she asked after thinking for a moment.

Riordan sighed. “If Quinn wouldn’t have sealed the wound, then yes, but when he did it to stop the bleeding, it tricked your body into thinking you already healed.”

“No,” she said without hesitation. She would accept the consequences of the choices she’d made.

“Quinn is having enough trouble accepting this. He will not handle a reminder of what happened every time he looks at you.”

She sneered at him. “It doesn’t matter, because he’s not here to see me.”

“You are being ridiculous. You already hurt yourself. Don’t add to it by refusing help,” Wolf said.

Her mouth dropped open. She then growled at him. “You are the one who gave me the knife! What I did after the fact is my own business.”

He smirked. “Impressive first growl. But you want to start lower in your chest to make it more intimidating.” His expression sobered. “I will hold you down and force you.”

He did not just try to give her a growling lesson while she was arguing with him. A moment passed before her brain recalibrated to the point she could reply. “You wouldn’t.”

“Wanna bet?”

His eyes flared red, and she scooted away from him on the couch. “You can’t make me do this.” She appealed to Riordan. “Can he?”

“I agree with him. Quinn is in a delicate state, and you could easily push him over the edge right now.”

“The edge of what?”

“Sanity.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a slow breath. It was all Wolf’s fault. She had no problem blaming the frightening warrior, because if he hadn’t given her that knife, she would have never thought of cutting herself. She let out an explosive breath and just looked up at the men. That wasn’t fair. Wolf had given her a way to override Quinn’s decision. One that would have ultimately killed him. True, Wolf had given her the knife, but she’d cut herself. They’d both had done what was needed to save Quinn’s life. Quinn would live, and both she and Wolf shared the blame. Haven set her jaw. “How bad is this going to hurt?

Neither one answered. Wolf took the book, escorted her back to the master bedroom, and sat her down on the bed. She glared at him, but allowed Riordan to move her where he needed her so that he could begin the process of fixing her arm.

Haven wasn’t a violent person by nature, but she wanted to find something, anything hard to hit Riordan over the head with. Wolf stood in the corner of the room, his predatory eyes unblinking as the healer focused on fixing the massive damage she’d done to her arm. The muscles, ligaments, and tendons weren’t so bad, nor was the repair process for the blood vessels running the length of her arm, but the tedious work of repairing dying nerves sent sparks of white hot electricity though her arm and into the rest of her body, making already sore muscles jump and twitch. After what seemed like hours, Riordan sat back, sweat drenching his brow, and smiled. “It’s done. You’re all better.”

Her face went crooked. “That doesn’t seem right.” She flexed her arm and worked her fingers. Things felt tight, but everything worked properly. “Shouldn’t there be some kind of consequences for what I did?”

Riordan had an amused look on his face. “And you wish to add an eternity of being disabled to what you’ve already suffered?”

She frowned. “Well, no, but still. I did it to myself.”

“Yes, but your reasons were unselfish. I’ve seen many a stronger man unable to defend what is his when another inflicted the wound, but you, Haven, you were able to do this to yourself for the sole purpose of saving another life.” He gave a low, courtly bow. “My brother could not have found a better lifebond than you, Reannon.”

Haven lowered her head, having no idea how to respond. Wolf stirred in the corner. “Let her rest, brother. Quinn will be home soon, and Haven still has a fight ahead of her.”

The two men made a sweep through the bedroom, gathering up all sharp items or anything else Haven could use to harm herself, from Quinn’s ties to shoelaces. She let out an indignant squawk. “I am not going to kill myself.”

“I know that, little sister, but Quinn is not yet of the faithful.” Wolf placed her book about the Undying next to her on the bed. “Rest, he will be home soon, and then you can convince him.”

Nikon glided through the door and hopped into the bed next to her. Riordan nodded before he left, and then Wolf followed him, closing and locking the door behind him.

“So now I am on suicide watch. Great!”

Nikon dropped his head into her lap. “
Relax. Quinn is about an hour out. Rest, read a little, and be ready to show him there is one alive who can be more stubborn than him.”

“How is Medea? She seems a little subdued today.”

“She grows closer to her time. It is natural.”

Haven grumbled, fluffed her pillows, settled against the headboard, and pulled the book into her lap. She flipped through the pages and stopped at a section referencing the Mortis. Humanoid zombie-like creatures created with black magic spells that scaled walls like a spider and wouldn’t die, no matter how many pieces they were hacked into. She grimaced and decided history might be a better place to start. She flipped through the pages, skimming until she found an entire section devoted to Quinn, to the Cadeyrn. The name meant Battle King in ancient Undying, and it wasn’t something Wolf had bound into the book because Quinn was her lifebond. He was the most important male of their people. She sat upright and placed the book on the bed. She found the comfort of Nikon’s fur as she became absorbed in the long history of the man she loved.

* * * *

Donovan’s mind had reacted violently when he found Wolf’s knife in the bathtub, and he had to get himself out of the penthouse before he’d done something unforgiveable—like kill Wolf. Donovan knew his brother had put the idea into the woman’s head.

He knew she’d had a lot of insecurities and fears, but he’d never thought she was capable of taking her own life. He wasn’t in the proper state of mind to pass judgment against his brother. Part of him was elated he wouldn’t have to give up the
treòir
. Another part of him was terrified soul deep at what Haven unleashed inside of him.

He wanted to stay in denial.

The elevator door slid open. It was quiet. Maverick was out patrolling the city on foot while Brogan was still perched on top of the building. Riordan was in the kitchen cleaning dishes, and Wolf was lounged across the couch in the living room. A low rumbling began in Donovan’s chest. He still wanted to kill his brother, but now wasn’t the time. He would need Wolf to kill Kyros, then, his brother would suffer for what he’d put into Haven’s head.

“Where is she?”

“Locked in your room. Don’t worry. We left her with Nikon and removed anything she could use to hurt herself.”

Donovan didn’t like that Wolf’s statement made him feel a tiny bit better. “I will deal with you later.” He took off his coat and hung it in the closet before he took the stairs two at a time. He stopped at the door and stared at the knob. Would he need to break the door down to get to her? Would she be half-dead when he entered the room? If she was, could she be saved this time? He shoved all that out of his mind and reached above the door molding for the key. After unlocking the door, he replaced the key and silently went into the room.

His body and mind stilled when he saw her. Her hair was draped around her as she sat hunched over a leather bound book. Her hand tightened in Nikon’s fur. “That’s so sad. Did this really happen?”

She bit her bottom lip, and then her head snapped up, her pale eyes wide as she looked at him. Her voice unsteady. “Hi.”

He nodded but didn’t move closer. “Haven.”

She pushed the book away from her and moved to the edge of the bed, her eyes never leaving his face. “How was your day?”

“I had to work. You can’t expect me to be able to stay with you every second of every day.”

She stilled and lowered her head. “I was just asking how your day was. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

The muscles in his jaw contracted. “You’ve been a sleep for a while. Do you hurt at all?”

Her lower jaw trembled. “Only a little sore. Riordan fixed my arm, under threat of Wolf holding me down.”

Donovan’s heart twisted in his chest. “You didn’t want him to heal your arm the rest of the way? Why?”

“I did it to myself. I can’t expect anyone to fix my consequences for me.”

His hands burned with the need to reach out to her, to touch her and sooth the new hurt he could feel growing inside of her, but he was afraid of the damage his mind could do to hers. “You should have talked to me.”

“You’d already given up. You were giving into what Kyros wanted.” She got off the bed but didn’t go to him. She went to the window and looked out. “I love you. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

Dark and savage emotions reared. His voice came out as a snarl. “You tried to kill yourself. If I hadn’t gotten to you when I did—”

“We’d both be dead. I know.” Her shoulders rounded. “Did I break us?”

“Why didn’t you talk to me?”

She caught her breath. “That’s not an answer.”

“I can’t trust that you are safe even with yourself.”

“You said you love me. Is that still true?” Her voice was so soft and so full of despair that his heart twisted again.

“I don’t know what I feel right now.”

She let out a slow, shuddering breath. She quietly went to the bed, collected her book, walked a wide circle around him, and left him standing in the room.

Nikon bared his fangs as he hopped off the bed and advanced on Donovan. The wolf circled him. A low rumbling coming from deep within. “
You wound her unjustly, Cadeyrn. You do not understand what she overcame to sacrifice herself for you.”

“What are you talking about?”