Undying Hope (10 page)

She reached up and brushed the shaggy hair out of his face. “You should have told me you needed more to eat.”

“Haven,” Riordan said. “I said a couple of pounds. You did a wonderful job with him, and his
treòir
has attached to you as a mother. You have no idea how much that alone will save him.”

Her face went panicked as she turned to look up at Donovan. He stepped in close to her. “You raised him as right as you could. No child can ask for more than that.”

“I…” She turned, buried her face against his chest, and then sagged against him. “Would I be asking too much for things to settle down so I have time to process?”

Bastian cleared his throat. “Riordan promised me a three pound steak if I didn’t take a break. So, we can go do that if it’s all right with
him
.” He nodded toward Donovan.

“You may address me as either Quinn or Dov,” Donovan said. “Dov seems to be the preferred endearment from the younger members of the clans who know me personally.”

A wide grin bloomed over Bastian’s face. “All right, Dov. Sir, thank you.”

Donovan nodded to him. “You did well and have earned your reward. I will take care of Haven.”

“Thank you.” Bastian beamed at him. He scampered off to a staircase that led up into the main house.

“I should go with him,” Haven said in a subdued tone. “Riordan’s wife my not wish to have to deal with an exuberant boy.”

“Nadia has a six-hundred-year-old son,” Donovan said. “Joseph is still a hand full at times. Sit. Rest. The last twelve hours have been rather exciting for you.”

She went over to the couch and sat as her head bobbed. “I have no idea how I am even supposed to begin to process any of this.”

He sat down next to her and rubbed her back. “Then take the time you need. We can stay here for a while if that is your wish. As soon as my other brother, Wolf, gets here, the announcement can be made, and I will be at your complete disposal.”

* * * *

Haven knew she was being needy, but that was exactly how she felt. The world was spinning wildly out of her control, and she had no way to stop it. Nothing of what was happening made sense, and the blinding need she had to make a mating work with Quinn at all costs was just as confusing. She’d found Bastian’s people. He was safe, and he’d be cared for properly. He’d learn how to control the power in him, instead of it controlling him. “I don’t know how to do this. Maybe I should just take some time by myself for a little while. I don’t know.”

He shifted off the couch and crouched down in front of her. There was something in the way he was looking at her that tore at her heart. When he spoke again, his voice was softer, laced with a tinge of desperation. “Just stay with me for a while, Haven, please? You and Bastian. I can and will take care of both of you, and he will need to learn things you know nothing about.”

She laced her fingers together in her lap. The lure of a ready-made family was tempting. He seemed so honest, so sincere in his need. “What do you know of the raising of children?”

“I’ve raised seven of my own kind and countless humans. I can handle Bastian. He’s a good kid.”

She let out a shuddering breath. He was begging her to stay with him. It was in his eyes, the twist of his mouth. The thought was unsettling. He was her mate. He shouldn’t have to do this, but she didn’t know how to get her head on straight. Everyone deserved a mate who wasn’t a mental case. She rested one hand on his chest. “Why would you do that?”

He caught a strand of her hair in his hand, his fingers twisting in it. His eyes held a great pain when they met hers. “Family, Haven. Those children needed a family. Someone to look up to, someone to count on.”

She scooted forward so she could drop her head onto his chest, rest against the solid comfort of his strength. “I’m having a difficult time accepting your motives are entirely pure. I know magical mates exist, but I’m having a difficult time processing that I am one to the most powerful being I’ve ever come in contact with.”

He caught her chin with a crooked finger and lifted her gaze to meet his. “I can promise you now, all I want to do is help both you and Bastian. You can take over my room, and I’ll move down to my office. Bastian can have the guest room. I am not expecting anything in return. You can still reject this bonding at any time you wish. Just let me pretend for a little while.”

She whispered, “Pretend what?”

He leaned down, his mouth hovering over hers, his voice a bare breath. “I can have my own family and that this can work between us.”

His mouth closed over hers. His tongue ran over her lips until she opened up for him. He delved deep, sweeping fire into her. The sensation threaded through her like tiny electrical shocks, making her very skin come alive, burning for him to touch her. She slid her hands up his chest to hook around his neck, pulling herself deeper into his kiss. Damn, the man did know how to kiss. When he pulled back, she was breathless and sagging against him because her knees had turned into butter, and they were both now somehow standing. She gave him an accusing look. “Why did you do that?”

He played with the end of her hair and grinned before he brushed his mouth softly over hers again. “Do you want me to do it again?”

“Yes.” She pushed herself back and glared at him. “No, damn it, you’ve had centuries to learn how to kiss like that. That’s not fair.”

His laugh was quiet and warming, but his tone husky as he breathed against the length of her neck. “I’d love to show you the other things I’ve had centuries to learn how to do.”

A delicious shutter ran up her spine, and she swatted at him. “You are lethal, Quinn Donovan. Stay on your side of the room.” She sidestepped and moved to a safer corner of the waiting room. “You just stay over there where I can keep an eye on you.”

His laughter rumbled out. “Woman, you are sinful. Do you realize how tempting you are right now?” He straightened. “I won’t hurt you.”

She clasped her hands in front of her. “I know you believe that, but it will happen. Sooner or later, you’ll leave. If you really can live forever, someday you’ll want one of your own kind, or someone younger, who is still pretty.”

He was across the room so fast Haven didn’t have time to react. His hand looped around her wrist as he crouched down in front of her. “Don’t ever think it. What I want right now is here in front of me. I don’t know what you’re doing to me, woman, but I don’t want to let it go. You matter to me. More than you can ever know.”

She trembled at the intensity in him. Getting lost in the heat of his eyes was easy. She mentally jerked back away from an awareness she knew wasn’t hers, and she actually flinched at the sensation of his emotions. It had hurt him. Her mind raced as she desperately searched for a way he was giving her emotions she wouldn’t have without his magic, but she couldn’t find it. Panic hit hard. “What are you doing to me?”

“Nothing, my Haven.” He shifted closer to her, his voice going softer. “Let me show you something.”

“What are you going to show me?”

“How to know if your thoughts are your own or not.”

“It’s possible to know that?”

He nodded and let go of her wrist, and then held out his hand for hers as he stood. Hesitantly, she slid her hand into his. It was just like with Mason, only this time, her mind wasn’t screaming a warning she was compelled to ignore. What had Mason done? She didn’t know. Lifting her gaze to meet his, she let out a slow breath. “Now what?”

“Now you have to let me in.”

“In where?”

“Your head, Sweetheart. You need to invite me into your thoughts.”

“How?”

“Like this.”

Haven felt the distinct brush of his mind against hers. He was soft, gentle, but she got the feeling he didn’t usually allow someone to know he was there. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned against him for support as she lowered the mental walls just enough to let him in.

“That wasn’t so difficult.”

Haven blinked and then smiled up at him. She wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not that his mind touching hers felt comfortable, but this feeling of security was there, and she knew he could see the thought pass through her mind.

“All right, so how do I know the feelings are mine, and not something planted in my head?”

Haven more felt his frown than actually saw it, since she’d buried her face in his chest. “
This might hurt a little, sweetheart, but I need to check something.”

“I trust you
.” She did feel trust for him. She was most afraid of what he was going to find as he searched through her head. He was careful to keep out of her private thoughts about him, but he scanned quickly and efficiently through her memories. It was a little disconcerting that he was learning so much about her when she didn’t know anything about him.

“You will
,” he promised and continued his search. When he got to where she’d carefully tucked all of her memories of Mason and her grandfather, she went rigid in Quinn’s arms and tried to pull away, but he refused to let go. He saw everything—the beatings, the humiliation, the inability to do anything at all without express permission, and the dreaded fear she had of both of them. His chest vibrated, filling the room with a low, violent rumble. “
I almost have it, sweetheart. You’re doing well.”
He reached deeper into those horrors and pulled out something that Haven knew didn’t belong in her head.

Haven struggled against Quinn, to make him let her go and get out of her mind. He held on tight and fought with the compulsion that tried to claw its way back into the crevice of her mind. Her head pounded like she was being stabbed by a thousand ice picks, but Quinn held firm. He pulled the devil out and then crushed it until there wasn’t anything left. The pain in her head vanished, and she sagged against him.

Quinn stroked her hair, holding her close to him. “
You’re okay, sweetheart. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

She was afraid to speak, so she didn’t. She burrowed into the safe harbor of his arms. “
What was that thing?”

“The compulsion planted by Mason. He knows he won’t be able to control you anymore, but he also knows you are now mine.”

The comment was barbaric, but there was something in the way his words flowed through her head that made them more soothing than anything else. “But we just met.”

He leaned down, resting his head against hers. “
Then learn who I am. I won’t hide anything from you.”

Instinctively, she understood there were things about him that she didn’t want to know. Her search through his mind started with last night in the diner. She felt his calm in the face of Kyros’s evil. The way Quinn’s body had reacted to her despite his wish that it wouldn’t. His utter loneliness suffocated him, even when he was with the people he loved and cared about. They knew him, but they never saw him. He was the rock they all leaned on, but no one took the time to see if the foundation was crumbling or not. He didn’t blame them. In fact, he was glad they didn’t look too close. He needed them safe, able to move from task to task without worry for him. His unwavering grief at the loss of each life he had to take or was taken from him overwhelmed her. The absolute resolve he had to keep the world and everyone safe from harm in a way no one else could. More than that, she saw a man pure of heart, a man who would do and did the most difficult of things for the greater good, willing to risk his own soul so another would not. There was a savage darkness in him, but it was tempered and tamed by his will as hard as diamonds and as unbendable as steel. He carried the world on his shoulders, and he wore the mantle with pride and with the undeniable truth that if he failed, the world would fail with him.

Tears collected in her eyes and shed unabashed down her face. Her breath caught. He was the greatest of men, for all time, and he was utterly alone in the world.

His head was still resting on hers. “Don’t cry for me. I accepted my fate long ago.”

It was impossible
not
to cry for him. There was no compulsion in her desire for him; everything was true and coming from her. She knew how to check for it now, and she did, just so he would know that she understood. The pads of his thumbs brushed at her tears. “I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry.” His arms loosened their hold on her before they fell to his sides.

She went up on her toes and hooked her arms around his neck, pulling him down closer. “I’ll pretend with you.”

Awe and wonder filled his eyes before he lowered his head. His mouth claimed hers.

“Mine,”
he demanded.

“Yours.”
And she meant it. It was as if their minds connected with a double-ended USB cable. They could know what each other was thinking and feeling without having to use words. She would be with him until he no longer wanted her or death found her. She’d touched him in a way no other person had. She didn’t need to see everything, only the parts that mattered: that he wanted her, and he would keep his word to never hurt her.

His mouth dragged along her jaw line, his hand slipping up the hem of her shirt, when someone cleared their throat.

“You know,” said the graveled drawl. “One of the exam rooms might give you more privacy.”

As his head lifted, the growling sound that erupted from Quinn wasn’t human. “Haven, darling, I’d like for you to meet the middle brother, Garret Wolf.”

Haven turned her head and hopped closer to Quinn. Wolf wasn’t quite as large as Quinn, but damn near close. That wasn’t what worried her. He had an odd feel to him, and his eyes were an unnatural color brown. “You don’t have the same surname?”

Wolf gave a florid bow. “Reannon, it is wonderful to finally meet you. The name was deliberate. Riordan and I share the surname, while Quinn, our public figure, has his own name. I see that you have accepted the bonding process, yes?”

She pressed her back into Quinn and squeaked. There was that “Reannon” word again, but Wolf was too intimidating to ask, and he was already waiting for an answer to another question. “Yes.”

“Congratulations.” He bowed again, though his tone was mocking. “The Cadeyrn has finally found his Reannon! Our people will be overjoyed.”