Undying Hope (28 page)

“You cannot do this,” she whispered.

The dark Quinn laughed. “She knows I will take you, my brother.”

“Not while I have breath in me,” the golden-eyed one said as he moved with jungle cat grace, putting his essence between Haven and the threat.

“You will get her killed and us. You are weak with your compassion. I would not allow such things. Kyros would already be dead.”

Haven slipped herself between the two Quinn’s in his mind. She didn’t look at either one of them. “I need you both.”

The dark Quinn wavered. “That is not possible.”

“I cannot survive the way you wish of me, as a slave to your whims and desires. What makes me would fade into a place of nothingness that I’ve no wish to go back to.” Then she addressed the other Quinn. “The world is far more dangerous than I ever imagined, and I need you safe. He protects the heart of you, the part of you I need to survive.” She moved back so she could look at both of them. “I need both of you to survive. Can’t you see that? If one defeats the other, I die too.”

The
treòir
roared his anger. Haven crouched down and covered her ears with her hands at the horrific sound.

Quinn’s voice sounded. “Is this what you want for her? Cowering in fear of you when she willingly gave up her life for you?”

The
treòir
rumbled and prowled the space like a caged animal. “This cannot be. She should only need the strongest, the one that will destroy everything that threatens her.”

“She is our lifebond. She needs safety, yes, but she needs to be loved, cherished for who and what she is. She brings laughter to us. Even you were willing to allow her antics at the club.”

The
treòir
growled at him and then stopped all motion. “I have damaged her. You must fix it.” Then the apparition evaporated back into Quinn’s mind.

* * * *

Donovan was alone in his head again. His hand curled around Haven’s bared midsection. He let go of her but didn’t back up, because if he did, she’d fall to the floor. She lay there as still as death for a moment and then slowly sat up. Dark shadows were along her rib cage and belly. She shook her head and then rubbed at the bruising on her sides. When her eyes met his, she said, “I think I understand a little better.”

He set her on her feet as gently as he could and went to the freezer to get some ice. She’d heal relatively quickly on her own, but he wasn’t going to touch her, not after what just happened. The thought of her hurting made his head ache and the
treòir
twitch. “I’m calling Wolf. You are to lock yourself in my office and do not come out for any reason.”

She took the ice from him and held it in her hand. “He didn’t mean to,” she pleaded. “It was an accident.”

He took a step back from her. “Haven, I don’t like your excuses for what I did.”

She shrugged. “I’ve been beaten before, Quinn, and that’s not what was happening here. Your
treòir
is just as possessive and protective as you are. It was just holding on a little too tight.” She frowned. “He doesn’t understand emotions, I don’t think. Like he leaves that up to you so he can deal with other things. How often do you converse with him?”

She set the ice in the sink.

He growled at her. “Goddamn it. My body is where that thing lives, and I can’t control it anymore. I hurt you.”

She let out a sigh. “So heal me. The bruise is small and doesn’t even hurt. I just startled your power when I slipped into your mind.”

Donovan reached out and lightly touched the darkening shadows on her ribs and belly. They vanished with a small release of his energy. “I don’t like you explaining this away. You are staying in my office. The room’s reinforced so that I can’t break in. Well, so that an Undying can’t, which amounts to the same thing. You will be safe there, and I am calling Wolf to come and get you.”

“You can’t do that. Your
treòir
is already attached to me, and it will hurt you if you send me away, and you already know what I am capable of if I think your life is in danger.”

His head shattered into a million pieces. Images of her lifeless body in the tub assaulted him, and his eyes flared at the thought. “So you’re going to bind yourself to an eternity of things like this happening? That’s not acceptable.”

“Learn to work with him. He’s right. I saw what happened with your parents. Your
treòir
gave you the power to save those children, and he was the one who drove out the dragon, but you took care of the aftermath. And you took up the mantel for our people. He is part of you more than you will admit, and you have to learn to live with him and work with him. It’s the only way you are ever going to find peace.”

“But it hurt you, Haven. I hurt you. A small bruise this time. What’s it going to be next time? A broken arm and blood? I can’t live with this. Even if you’ve allowed Mason to condition you for abuse, I will not let myself be what hurts you.”

Haven went completely still at Mason’s name and then looked up at Quinn with hurt and defiance. “I know what abuse is, and I will not have you telling me that I cannot help you with this fight. If your
treòir
gets control, then we are both dead, but if you let me help you, together we can find a way to control him for all time. I could feel you fighting for me, to keep him from hurting me. That is not abuse. Mason never did that. He just let his
treòir
have its way with me whenever the whim struck it.”

His stomach twisted. “I can’t hurt you.”

“I won this argument the last time. Do you really want to live through what I will do to protect you the way you protect me?”

He snarled. “This isn’t funny. I could kill you without thought.”

Her hands covered her face, and she shook her head. “No, you can’t. Mason never could, though he’d came close a couple times. I don’t think the
treòir
in and of itself is at all evil. I think the good or bad comes from the person who possesses it.”

“Then how is Kyros evil now when he wasn’t before?” he countered.

“The same reason humans who never seemed bad before suddenly do horrible things. The mind can only handle so much. Obviously, he really did care about Helena. Watching her die snapped something in him and probably in his
treòir
, too.”

He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “We can discuss this more in a little bit. I need you to go change.”

Haven glanced down and her face crumpled. “Damn, I really liked this dress, too. Maybe I can fix it.” She looked up at him with an innocent face. “Can you get me a sewing machine, one with all the cool things on it? I love sewing things.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t like this. Go put something else on, and we can finish this. Me and my
treòir
are going to pop a vein if we have to keep thinking about how the top was ruined.”

“Touchy, aren’t we?” She sashayed toward the door and then looked over her shoulder. “Keep him close. I may have some questions for him when I get back.”

Donovan leaned against the counter, his shoulders trembling once she was out of sight. “Goddamn it,” he swore to himself.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. Thank you for fixing her.”
The
treòir
seemed contrite.

“I must have finally lost my fucking mind.” Since Haven and the
treòir
agreed that she needed the damn thing, he decided to try talking to it like he would anyone else. “Fuck it. I shouldn’t have to fix her. She should have been perfectly safe with me. She is
my
lifebond.”

“She is ours.”

“Fine, whatever, but she can’t be near me if you are going to hurt her.”

“She’s not upset. Why are you?”
There was real confusion in the tone.

“Because I outweigh her by two-hundred pounds of muscle, because it would be easy enough for me to snap her neck and not even realize I did, because hitting a woman is just wrong for any reason. And I can’t believe I am talking to myself like this.”

“Maybe we should. She’s tied your hands in getting rid of me, so maybe we do need to learn to coexist in peace.”

“What are you anyway?”

“I am a
treòir
. I am the power and the darkness that allows you to be what you are without destroying your soul. I am you.”

“Then why have our people not told our unbonded males what to expect?”

“Because we are dangerous. Only a lifebond can truly tame us. Haven’s only partly right. Something inside of Kyros’s
treòir
snapped and took over. The man you once knew is trapped in there, unable to stop the horror he is creating.”

Donovan shuddered because he just had the experience and never wanted to go through that again. “Why can only the lifebond tame you?”

“That is a little more complicated to explain in terms your mind would be able to understand. I know you wonder why she is your bond, and all I can tell you is that it is because I am attracted to her. There is something like me inside of her, but it is different. I am the warrior, the protector, and I will destroy anything I know that will cause her harm, but she tempers me and forces me to look at the world through your eyes. I still rile against being confined, and I will fight you for all eternity to be free, but I now see your compassion through her. I understand the need to be part of the world in a way that will not cause harm to others.”

Haven came back into the room dressed in an over-sized T-shirt. He forced himself to be aware of the
treòir
and how he reacted to her without being confined. “
You will give me complete control of my body while I do this.”

“Yes, my brother.”

A playful grin lit Haven’s face. “I see you have been doing this without me. Care to share?”

He dragged a hand over his face. “Sit.”

She shook her head. “I need something to eat, and you probably do, too. I should get the wolves fed. Medea should not be skipping meals at this point, no matter the reason.” She turned to the refrigerator and bent over, the hem of her shirt sliding up, giving Donovan a wonderful view of her legs as they just started to round into her ass.

“We’ve agreed on a truce of sorts.”

“That’s wonderful. How’d that happen?”

“He likes you,” he said.

Haven laughed as she pulled out the lasagna she’d started earlier, put it back into the oven, and turned it on. “Of course he does—he’s you.”

“That’s what it said.” He grabbed a couple of plates and set them on the counter.

Haven winced. “He’s part of you, but acting independently of you. He can do things against your will. He’s you and he’s not, so I still win the argument about you not being the one who hurt me.”

His brain twitched at her logic. “If he hurts you again, I swear by all that is holy I am locking you in my office, and you are not coming out for all eternity.”

“So now he’s a
he
instead of an
it
? I think there might be some progress. Can I talk to him?”

“Woman, you’re making my head hurt.”

“Stop being such a baby. He’s not going to hurt me. I know you don’t believe that, but he’s part of you. This is that whole practice thing, and why I should have been talking to him all along.”

It disturbed him greatly that not only had she said his own words, but the words of the
treòir
, as well. She also wasn’t afraid of him. He knew what she’d suffered at the hands of Mason’s
treòir
, and yet, she wasn’t afraid of his. He let out a long sigh. “I have no idea how to do this, and I already feel certifiable for talking to something residing in my head.” He was not going to confess that he did occasionally upon necessity. The relationship with one’s
treòir
was an interesting experience and the reason why finding boys like Bastian was vitally important. They needed a father figure to teach them how to control their power. There wasn’t enough known about the
treòir
and how it related to the ones who turned meirlock to allow the younger, unbonded males to have more information other than to keep it under control. “Sure, ask your questions, and I will tell you his answer.”

She beamed at him. “Thank you.” She went over to the drawer where the note pads were and snagged a pen and paper. “Is there a way for you two to completely merge together as one?”

“I cannot do it for you. This is something you must discover on your own, or it won’t work. I wish I could help you more, but I would also like to survive this.”

“He can’t tell me, but he said I can figure it out on my own.” He let out a breath, glad Haven wasn’t trying to talk to the
treòir.

Her face scrunched up at him. “That’s not helpful.” She wrote that down and then tapped her pen against the pad of paper. “All right, can you promise me that there will never be another incident like we had earlier? As much as I know it wasn’t Quinn, I still don’t like being afraid, and I didn’t appreciate the bruises.” She gave Quinn a look. “Even if that faint of a bruise could happen while having sex.”

Donovan blinked at her. Her eyes bore right into his with her reproach directed at the
treòir
. The
treòir
snarled quietly in his mind and then went remorseful.
“She will not fear you or me again. I give her my word that I shall not harm her, nor shall I use you to harm her in any way again. I will learn this word you call gentleness.”

“He gives you his word that you shall not be harmed again.”

Haven studied him when her head canted to the side. “Good. I can’t be afraid when I am with you.” She chewed on her lip and then absently drew an ancient symbol on the paper. She opened her mouth to say something when there was a loud crash in the hall, and then the building shook.

Donovan shot across the room, taking Haven off her chair and covering her body with his own as weapons fell from the walls. Pots and pans danced in the cabinets until they’d worked themselves out to crash on the floor. Haven stayed curled under him until everything went quiet.

Donovan unfurled himself from her. His hands moved over her, checking for wounds, his mind probing to be sure, and then he cupped her face. “Are you all right?”

“I think so. Where are the wolves?” She slipped out from under him and darted out of the kitchen, calling their names. He was several paces behind her when she stopped at the entrance to the hall that led to the first floor bedrooms and let out a wail. Then she lunged forward, landing on the floor next to Nikon’s still body covering Medea. Crimson spread out from under him and a blade that Donovan knew didn’t belong to him stuck out from his side, right where Medea’s belly would have been pierced had Nikon not been there.