Understudy (17 page)

What gave her away were her lingering glances, or the way she would pause a second too long before launching into one of her ramblings whenever I failed to respond. I wanted to tell her everything, but whenever I tried, the words got stuck in my throat, and fear would set in. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what I was scared of, and I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know.

"Is this seat taken?"

I looked up and a stifled gasp escaped my lips. It was Eric.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you or anything. You seemed to be so engrossed in that book." He plopped down on the seat without waiting for me to respond. "That happens to me, too when I read a book that I really like. Though books like that are hard to come by these days."

I wasn't sure what surprised me more, his easy chatter, or the fact that he seemed to enjoy reading. Adam wasn't a fan of books.

Eric leaned back in his seat, his hands clasped together on the table. I couldn't help but notice his arms, muscular but not in a too hunky way. I immediately looked away.

"Is that good?"

"What?"

"I mean that burger, is it good?" he asked, eyeing the plate of half-eaten burger sitting beside my book.

"I guess," I said. Was he trying to initiate small talk?

"I haven't had burger in almost two years," he said. When I failed to respond, he added, "I'm a vegan, in case you were wondering.

I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"I'm sorry, am I annoying you?" he asked, about to push himself up from his seat. "I'll leave."

"No. Stay," I said, surprised how easily the words came out. "I mean, I don't mind."

Eric relaxed back into his seat, his green eyes seemed to shine brighter under the sunshine filtering through the window blinds.

"I'm surprised to see you here. I thought you'd be in the woods or something," he said.

"Were you looking for me?" I tried to keep a straight face to mask my surprise. Did he actually go to the woods?

"I wouldn't exactly put it that way," he said, his eyes narrowing a bit. "I just want to make sure you're okay after... You know, back in the cemetery."

"Oh." It had been weeks since then, but talking about it now made it feel like it just  happened yesterday. I could still hear our laughter ringing in my ears.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"That's great then."

He stared at me for awhile, and I fixed my gaze on my book, wondering how long we'd stay like this. In the end, I asked, "So, you're a vegan?"

"Yeah."

"Like a health buff?"

"Hell no, " he said, looking horrified. "I'm just trying to make amends."

I vaguely remembered Adam telling me how Eric almost died of OD. I wondered if that's what he meant by trying to make amends.

"And how is it working out?"

"It's great," he said, smiling. "You should try it some time. I find it amusing going to a party and people discovering that you couldn't eat anything from the table."

"That's so mean."

Eric chuckled. "Oh, you have no idea how mean I can get."

He leaned closer, close enough for me to study every feature of his face; the familiar contours of his cheeks, his wide forehead and the curl of his lips. He hadn't shaved his stubble which looked darker now, making him look serious, dangerous even. But he was surprisingly polite today. It was like talking to a different person altogether.

"Kat!"

Lily came rushing from the door and stopped by the edge of our table, jolting me out of whatever zone I had put myself into. I let out a deep breath, I hadn't realized I was holding.

"Lily! What are you doing here?" I asked. "Oh hey, you're finally growing your two front teeth!"

"Daddy's going to buy me a sundae!" she said, clutching Emily and Tom to her chest.

"Really? Where is he?" I asked, looking around the room for Mr. Cromley.

"He's out fixing something on the truck."

"Again?" There was always something wrong with Mr. Cromley's Chevy truck. Everyone had told him to get rid of the old vehicle and get a himself a new one, or at least something that didn't break all the time. Yet he'd dismiss the suggestion with a wave of hand and shake his head like it was the stupidest idea he had ever heard.

"Yeah." Lily's gaze shifted to Eric, her eyes glossing ever so slightly before shifting back to me.

"Hello, Lily," Eric said, getting her attention back. He turned his body to face her as he leaned down and offered his hand."My name is Eric."

Lily looked at his hand, to his face, to my face, and back to Eric. A crease formed above her eyebrows. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," she said, as she let out a small girlish giggle.

Eric retracted his hand and winked. "Smart girl."

"It's okay, he's a friend," I said.

Eric shot a surprised look at me, but he immediately returned his attention back to Lily.

"Can I be your friend too?" Lily asked, lowering her head as she looked up at him.

Eric shrugged. "Why not?"

Lily broke into a smile. She pulled on my shirt's sleeve and I leaned down just enough for her to whisper in my ear. "He's cute."

Eric tried to pretend he didn't heard, but the way he smiled suggested otherwise.

Mr. Cromley entered with a beat up messenger bag slung over his shoulder. His face brightened when he saw us.

"Hello Mr. Cromley," I said as he approached our booth. Lily wrapped an arm around his leg, her eyes never leaving Eric's face.

"Hello kids," Mr. Cromley said. He studied Eric for a moment, and I wondered if it was the first time he’d seen him. Adam and Mr. Cromley knew each other, so it came a bit of a surprise that Lily didn't seem to remember him.

"I'm sorry about your brother," Mr. Cromley said. "He was a good kid."

"He was," Eric answered.

An awkward silence passed between them, neither one daring to speak. There's something about death that made people uncomfortable, like talking about it carries a special set of rules like  maintaining solemnity and humility. Something Eric and I had forgotten in front of Adam's grave.

Finally, Mr. Cromley spoke as he tousled Lily's hair. "Come on kiddo, let's get you that sundae."

Lily squealed in delight as father and daughter walked towards an empty booth near the counter. "Nice to meet you, Eric!" she said.

"The pleasure is mine," Eric shot back.

I waited for them to settle in their seats before I turned to Eric and said, "Everybody loves Adam."

"I can see that,” he said coldly, almost angry. In just a second, he was back to his old usual self. "I need to go. I'm working on that new leg brace, should be done in about two days." He stood up and left without saying goodbye.

Once again, I was left alone staring at my book, wondering if the last ten minutes really did happen or if it was only a dream.

Chapter Twenty−One

Christmas was fast approaching and so was the Senior's Annual Play Fest. Both groups, ours and the Scarlet group were pretty much ready to perform. We were also pretty much done with the production design, as well as the costumes and props, thanks to Tina and Diana. They were fun to work with once you understood their dynamic, and I bet Sara would've liked spending time with them if they weren't into emo-core stuff.

As it was, she spent the afternoons with the rest of the cast as they ran their lines, while I worked with my small design team. The only times we were together were during lunch breaks and impromptu FaceTime calls at night, which pretty much didn't count.

"It's Friday, want to grab a hot fudge sundae with extra choco sprinkles at Marty's?" she asked one day, as I was sorting out some Christmas decorations we would be using for the play.

"Are you asking me out?"

"Maybe," she shrugged. "Look, I miss hanging out with you."

"Me too," I said, which was true. But with all the SAT's and stuff, I had to juggle between Adam and school work. In fact, spending time with Adam usually included working on some prop or studying for a quiz. He wasn't complaining, but I promised to actually talk to him whenever I wasn't busy. And today was one of those days.

"Some other time maybe? I have to do something."

Sara bit her lower lip, her shoulders sagging a little. "And that something would be?"

"You know..."

She shook her head. "No, I don't know." Then she added, "It's the magic hour, huh?"

"What?"

"You know, the time where you suddenly disappear and do whatever it is you do. It usually happens between five to six, not that I noticed." She grabbed a plastic snowman from the pile and started playing with it. "Oh wait, I do."

"Hey, we still hang out at night," I said. "Sometimes."

"Right. After the magic hour."

We were both quiet for a while, though I sensed the conversation wasn't over.

"I never ask you, you know," she said. "Though I'd really appreciate it if you decided to share."

"I'm just busy with school stuff."

"You're always busy."

"Exactly," I said, grabbing the snowman from her hand. "I mean, we're graduating next year."

"Yeah, about that. Are you serious about the community college thing?"

I almost dropped the snowman, but I continued to examine it as if nothing happened. Sara noticed though.

"Seriously, Kat. What is wrong with you?" She grabbed a nearby chair and placed it beside mine. "Is this about−" She shook her head and massaged her temple with her fingers. "Adam would've wanted you to pursue your dreams."

"Who said it's about him? What if I decided that I want to stay here?" My voice came out a little louder than I intended, shushing the whole gym as people cast curious glances in our direction.

"That's bullshit. We both know you've been looking forward to living in New York," Sara said, keeping her voice down.

"Maybe my priorities have changed," I said.

"Since when?"

"Since the accident."

Sara opened her mouth to retaliate, but she crossed her arms instead as she leaned back in her seat. I didn't want to play that card, but it was the only way I could get her off my back. And it worked.

I glanced at my watch. I would be meeting Adam in about fifteen minutes. The magic hour. I didn't know Sara had made a name for it, and I wasn't sure if it was a good thing. I sorted out the rest of the decorations and grabbed my bag. Sara sat unmoving in her seat with a distant look in her eyes.

"So... I'll see you later?" I asked.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it just a little bit. Hoping that the simple gesture would be enough to let her know that I appreciated her concern.

"So it is about Adam," she whispered, though it sounded more like she was talking to the air.

I sighed. "It has always been."

***

I woke up the next day wrapped like a burrito under my blanket. The weather was cold and gray clouds loomed overhead.

I rubbed sleep from my eyes as I checked my phone. Sara hadn't replied to any of my messages. I stretched my limbs as far as they could go, hoping that waking my muscles would help me think clearly, even though it did nothing to minimize the guilt I felt for choosing the magic hour over Sara.

I decided that running might do the trick. I could even stop by her house to patch things up. Maybe I could ask her out for that sundae as well.

Ten minutes later, I was breezing down the park on my way to Marty's, hating myself for not grabbing a quick bite before leaving the house, when something yellow swooshed a mere inch from my face, making me stop dead in my tracks.

I turned towards the direction where it came from just in time to see Eric wiping sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Oh, hey. Wanna play Frisbee with the kids?" he asked.

"Play with us, Kat!" Lily said from behind me as a boy about the same age as her ran to where I stood.

I glanced at Eric, taking in his sweaty form, wondering if I was still asleep and dreaming. I pinched myself. It hurt.

"I was taking a morning walk when Lily called me out to play," Eric said with a huge grin. "Is that weird?"

It was, on so many levels. "A bearded man wearing black from head to toe playing Frisbee with kids? Nah, I don't think so."

"Should I lose this then?" he asked, gesturing at his facial hair.

"Not unless Tiny Tim grew up to become a lazy bum," I said, surprised by the easy banter between us.

He ran his thumb along his jaw line and smiled. "You have a point."

"Play with us!" Lily said, pulling on my sweatpants. I had already forgotten she was there.

I bent down on one knee to speak to her at an eye level. "I would love to. But I need to go somewhere."

"This early?" Eric interjected. "I mean, the day has barely begun. Why don't you join us? It's a fun way to get some exercise."

"I'm actually having my morning run. It's a weekend routine," I said.

"And you have to follow it religiously? Come on, be spontaneous for once. Live a little."

I considered this for a moment. It did sound good fun.

"But−"

"Just fifteen minutes. It will be great."

"Please?" Lily said, giving me her puppy eyes.

"Stop that," I said, then my gaze flickered to the boy standing next to her. He was scowling at me. "Is it okay with your friend?"

"No," the boy said.

"Why?" I asked.

He crossed his tiny arms and raised an eyebrow. "You're a girl."

"I'm a girl," Lily said, pouting.

"Yeah, but she reminds me of my big sister."

"And who's your sister?" I asked.

"Amanda Crover."

"Oh, really?" Now that he said it, I could see the familiar golden curls and the high cheekbones. No doubt he'd grow up to be a good looking guy. I just wondered if he got his sister's attitude as well.

"So you must be Jackson," I said. Amanda and I had never exchanged any personal particulars, but growing up in a small town made you aware who's who whether you liked it or not.

Jackson puffed out his chest, all proud and mighty. "Yeah, I'm Jackson and I don't play with big girls. They go like, ewww, I'll get hot and sweaty."