Under His Command (For His Pleasure, Book 17) (16 page)

They walked to the table and then sat down together. Caelyn suddenly realized she was ravenous.

She unwrapped a greasy egg and bacon sandwich and started to eat, barely stopping to breathe. She looked up to find Elijah watching her with an amused expression.

“When was the last time you ate?” he asked.

She wiped her mouth with a napkin and swallowed. “I had a few bites of pizza yesterday,” she said. The thought made her lose her appetite, and she put the sandwich down, pushing it away from her as if it were now infected by the memories.

The greasy pizza sitting on the table.

Jayson laughing.

And then, the screaming.

“Hey, hey—are you okay?” Elijah said. Now he was somewhat alarmed.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been caught in the nightmare of what had happened to her. It was almost as though she’d blanked out—but now she was swimming back to awareness again. Her entire body was tense, like a coil of wire.

“I’m all right,” she whispered.

“Come on, let’s take this stuff to go,” he said, grabbing the food and putting it in a paper bag, picking up the two cups of coffee.

Caelyn nodded, stood up and the two of them walked out together.

***

About an hour later, they were driving through New York City, and getting close to the bus station.

Neither of them had talked quite as much after the rest stop. Caelyn was still reeling from the experience she’d had when Elijah had asked her that simple question about when she’d last eaten, which had elicited those awful memories and emotions.

She wondered how long it would be before she’d be able to think back on last night with anything less than pure terror. Maybe it would take her the rest of her life.

Rather than talk, Elijah had put the satellite radio on some kind of radio talk show. The name of the show was Geeks and Gear or something like that. It was a couple of guys talking about computers and other techie stuff. She was surprised that Elijah listened to stuff like that—he seemed more like the kind of guy who would listen to sports radio or angry rap music.

Regardless, she found the voices on the show soothing, and even though she didn’t care what they were talking about, it was sort of nice to just sit and not really focus on anything.

Elijah was content to do the same for a long while. She appreciated that he seemed to understand and respect when she was too overwhelmed to have much interaction.

But finally, he did talk again. “We’re hitting Chinatown,” he said, pointing ahead at the street. The signs on the buildings were mostly in Chinese now, and of course many of the people were also of Chinese descent.

“Is that where the station is?” she asked.

He nodded. “They have the best, cheapest fares around here,” he told her.

“Oh.” She looked out the window and watched as they drove through the city streets. A feeling of loss was starting to creep up on her now. She realized that Elijah and this SUV had become a safe haven for her over the last few hours. Somehow, she’d started to really trust him.

It didn’t make sense.

Nothing made sense anymore.

The minutes passed by a bit too quickly for Caelyn’s tastes. She suddenly wanted to hold onto her time with Elijah, to slow it down, make it last somehow. But before she knew it, he was pulling into a small parking lot and stopping, his face grim.

“Here we are,” he said softly.

She looked at him and smiled. “Here we are.”

“We can sit for a few minutes if you want. The bus won’t be leaving for a little bit still.”

“No, I don’t want to keep you,” she said, trying to smile. “You’ve already gone way above and beyond for me, Elijah. I appreciate it.”

“I wanted to,” he said, his eyes locking on hers.

She wanted to say something then. She wanted to say that they should keep in touch, exchange numbers, anything. But she couldn’t seem to find the words. Her throat locked up. “Thanks again,” she managed, and then opened her door and got out, making sure he didn’t see the wetness in her eyes.

Caelyn walked towards the door of the station, bag and purse in hand. She told herself not to look back and was able to stick to her decision.

Once inside, she went to the window and said she wanted a one-way ticket to Orlando, Florida.

The ticket came to just over ninety dollars with tax. It was about a third of her money—gone in one shot.

The teller pointed to a bus sitting out front, parked on the street, and told her that she could board it now.

Caelyn walked to the bus outside and showed her ticket to the driver, who was standing beside the bus. “Go ahead,” he said, not smiling. His eyes were dull, his mustache gray and wilted.

As she went up the steps to get on the bus, she looked quickly over her shoulder at the parking lot and didn’t see Elijah’s SUV. He was gone.

The bus was less than half empty, and Caelyn took a seat near the back, sitting by the window. She stuffed her travel bag under the seat and put her purse on her lap. The seats weren’t exactly roomie and comfortable, but at least she’d be safe for the rest of the trip.

She wanted to think about Florida and be happy. Freedom was just a hop, skip and a jump away now. One very long car ride away, was the place that she’d been dreaming of—somewhere where she could start over. There would be sun and beaches, and new starts.

But right at that very second, it felt like an empty promise.

She was thinking only of Elijah—his dark eyes, his wicked smile, the feel of his hand covering her hand, the way he’d called her babe in that sarcastic manner when she’d given him a hard time about carrying so much cash with him.

She hadn’t wanted Elijah to go like that—she hadn’t wanted him to leave without so much as a phone number, an address. She’d felt like they’d somehow formed a connection in a very short time, and now that connection could never become what it was meant to be.

And what was it meant to be, Caelyn?
She asked herself.
Do you really think that
a guy who uses a fake name with the police, carries hundreds and hundreds of dollars in
cash around in his back pocket, and admits to running away from something bad—do you
really think there’s a future with a person like that?

But despite all of her logic, she felt the loss of him acutely and painfully.

In some ways, losing him so soon was worse than what had happened to her last night.

Now that’s just stupid, she told herself.

Maybe it was. But it was how she felt.

A few minutes later, the driver got on board and sat down, starting the engine.

She heard the hydraulics hiss and the engine roared dully as they got ready to move.

At the last moment, the driver stopped. He opened the doors to the bus and yelled out at someone. “Yeah, what is it? You got a ticket?”

There was the sound of footsteps and then Elijah climbed aboard the bus, looking around for something—someone. His gaze landed on her.

“Caelyn,” he said loudly, without a hint of embarrassment.

She swallowed. Her whole body was warm, and strangely tingly. Maybe she was dreaming. Maybe she was going to pass out. “Elijah, what are you doing?”

He beckoned to her, waving her towards him. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“I can’t, I’m going to Florida—remember?”

“Let me take you,” he said.

She felt like she’d been blasted by a hurricane. The force of what he was saying nearly turned her legs to jelly. Florida with Elijah?

Her mind was racing.

The driver turned towards her. “Excuse me, lady. We need to go, I have a schedule to keep.”

“I know, I’m just— ” she stumbled over her words. “I’m just—”

“If a man who looked like that asked me to go to Florida with him, I wouldn’t waste a damn second,” an older black woman said from across the aisle.

Caelyn grinned. “Screw it,” she said. She grabbed her travel bag, shouldered her purse and got up.

Elijah was laughing now and so was she.

“I guess I’m as crazy as you,” she told him, as they left the bus together.

“That’s why we need to make this trip together,” he said. “Now let’s go get you a refund on that ticket.”

Caelyn followed Elijah off the bus and towards the station. The bus promptly pulled away, and when she looked at the windows, she noticed that all of the people seemed to be staring at her as they left.

Well, she thought, who could really blame them after that scene?

As embarrassing as it was, she was feeling happy. She was relieved that Elijah had come back for her. That meant he had felt it too—the connection between them. It meant something to him as well.

A minute later, she was standing across from the teller at the window, and sliding her ticket under the plexi-glass partition.

“I need a refund,” she said.

Elijah was standing just behind her, doing something on his phone. Maybe texting.

The teller looked at the ticket doubtfully, then looked up at her. “Refund?”

“Yeah. I just bought this ticket like five minutes ago, but I ended up not taking the trip. So, can I get a refund please?”

The teller shook his head. “Oh, no. Read the fine print. We don’t do refunds.”

“But it was only just a minute ago…”

The teller shook his head back and forth more furiously. “I don’t care if it was ten seconds ago or ten days ago—NO REFUNDS. Can you read? Read that ticket if you don’t believe me.” He slid the ticket back towards Caelyn.

Suddenly, Elijah was pressing against her, his face close the glass. “Do you just enjoy being rude to people?” he said, his voice raising. “Huh?”

“Elijah,” Caelyn said, taken aback by his anger. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. They’re taking advantage of you.”

“It’s the rules.”

“The rules are bullshit.” He pointed at the teller. “Where’s your manager, huh? I want to speak to someone with a brain in their damn head.”

“Elijah.” She touched his arm and he flinched away.

“Fuck it,” he said, slapping at a bunch of pamphlets on the countertop nearby.

They fanned out crazily and some of them fell on the floor.

Elijah walked out, not looking back.

Caelyn grabbed her bag and followed him as quickly as she could.

***

Needless to say, Elijah hadn’t seemed much in the mood to talk for a few minutes after that.

His eyes had remained glued to the road, intensely focused as they drove out of New York and onto the Jersey Turnpike.

She’d offered to pay the toll that came up, but Elijah had declined and paid himself.

Caelyn knew better than to say anything. He was clearly upset, perhaps because he felt he’d been responsible for her losing so much money.

But she wasn’t upset with him about it—she didn’t blame him. She didn’t even blame the bus line or the cranky teller. It was just life. There were worse things that could happen than losing a hundred bucks.

After they stopped for gas off the turnpike and Elijah paid again, she had to say something.

As he pulled the SUV onto the highway, she cleared her throat. “Look, you can’t just pay for everything the whole trip,” she told him.

He shrugged. “It’s fine. I have the money.”

“But I can’t let you do that.”

“Why not?” he said.

“Because, it’s not fair.”

“You getting stiffed for that stupid bus ticket wasn’t fair either.”

“It’s not the same and you know it.”

He glanced at her. “Whatever, Caelyn. Pay for gas next time if you really want to.”

“It’s not just about gas,” she said, still looking at him, trying to read his expression.

“What is it then?”

“Well…” she sighed, and then asked the question she’d been wondering ever since he’d stepped on the bus. “Are you only going to Florida because of me?”

The question hung in the air and she immediately regretted asking it that way.

The truth was, she had almost hoped that he was only going to Florida because of her.

Even though it would have been beyond strange, she wanted to believe that Elijah might feel some of what she was starting to feel for him.

Maybe he just wanted more time together. She held her breath.

But he shook his head firmly. “I’m not going to Florida because of you, Caelyn.

I was always going to Florida.”

“Oh.” She tried to ignore the disappointment that moved through her belly.

“Then why didn’t you say so?”

He shrugged, his dark eyes never leaving the road. “Because I didn’t know a thing about you. For all I know, you were some crazy chick—I didn’t think I needed to tell you my whole travel itinerary.”

“Okay,” she said. She was starting to feel hurt and a little angry. He was acting as though he didn’t just board the bus in Chinatown and practically beg her to come with him. “So then what changed your mind?

“I don’t know.” He shrugged again. “You seem cool. We had a few laughs. I figured it was silly to make you pay all that money to travel on some stuffy, cramped bus all the way to Florida when I was going there anyhow.”

“Oh,” she said, softly.

“If I’d known they were going to charge you anyway—” He stopped himself.

“What?” she said. “Would you not have invited me?”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. “Look, it’s been a long drive so far,” he told her, not looking away from the road. “Let’s just chill with the Q&A for a few minutes, okay?”

“Sure,” she said. “Whatever you say.”

After that, Elijah turned the satellite radio on again and resumed listening to his Geek and Gear podcasts.

Caelyn settled back in her seat and stared out at the passing scenery, wondering if she’d made a mistake getting off the bus and into his car to go all the way to Florida. If this was the kind of atmosphere that was going to exist the entire drive, then she definitely would regret her decision.

It was when they passed into Maryland that Caelyn’s phone rang for the first time.

She looked at her caller ID.

MOM.

A thrill of anxiety raced through Caelyn’s body when she saw that her mother was calling. She rejected the call, forcing it to voicemail.