Under His Command (For His Pleasure, Book 17) (11 page)

“Maybe I have a brain, maybe I have feelings, maybe I’m not just some toy for you to play with and throw away.”

“I thought you said you wanted this. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you said you’d do anything, that you trusted me.”

She started biting her thumbnail. “I do want this, and I will do anything, but...”

she wasn’t sure how to explain the dread that had come over her. “Something just feels…off.”

“Okay. I suppose when you said you’d do anything, you meant as long as you get to call the shots and play your little games,” Easton said. “I believe you’d prefer I take you back to your apartment and your neighbor friend. He seems nice and safe. All right, then, Kennedy—have it your way.” He put the car in drive and peeled out into the street, hugging a turn as they hit the main drag.

“I didn’t say I wanted to go back home, Easton.” She stared at him, horrified. “I want to go to the club with you. I got scared is all.”

“Look, this isn’t going to work,” he said, his voice growing calmer, his shoulders relaxing as they got further away from the club. “We’re not cut out for each other, you and me.”

Kennedy stared out the window, blinking back tears. “So I’m fired?”

“No, of course not. You have your job, but this—this extra-curricular thing we were starting—it’s over. It wasn’t a good idea in the beginning and now it’s definitely not a good idea.”

“Okay,” she said, her voice emotionless. She felt flat, completely alone, the world was gray and cold and dreary.

“I think you agree,” he offered.

She shrugged and grunted, still looking out the window.

He seemed to give up on the conversation, and they drove the rest of the way back to her apartment in silence. He stopped directly in front of the building. As she was about to get out, he put a hand on her forearm gently.

The warmth and tenderness almost made her sob. She couldn’t look at him.

“Kennedy,” he said. “Why don’t you take the day off tomorrow?”

“Why?” she said.

“I think it’ll be easier to start fresh if we both take a day away from each other.”

“Great,” she said, pulling angrily away from him, grabbing her purse, and running away as fast as possible.

***

The rest of the night was a blur for Kennedy. She spent most of the time crying and sitting around replaying the events of the afternoon, replaying her conversations with Easton and wondering how it could have all been different.

Eventually, she fell asleep, curled up in bed, her arms around an old stuffed animal that she’d kept from her childhood. The tears dried on her face, but when she woke up the morning, her cheeks were still wet as if she’d been crying in her sleep. She couldn’t recall her dreams, but there was a melancholy, heavy sensation on her chest.

She wished she could just go into work and be near Easton, even if everything was going to be different now. Being away from him was worse than being with him and having him ignore her. If she was at least in the office, there was the chance of something opening up between them, changing.

Yet he had commanded her to stay home, take the day to adjust to the new reality that they would be simply boss and employee, without any strings attached or expectations of more.

Kennedy found she hated the idea.

There was nothing to do, however, so she got up and showered, put on makeup and got dressed. She wanted to send herself a message that whether or not Easton accepted her, she was still valuable.

Kennedy put on some water for instant coffee.

Not long after that, as she was sitting and sipping her coffee, there came a knock on the door.

“Hello?” she called out, standing up. Instantly her heart was beating faster, hoping against hope that it was Easton.

But her heart fell when the answer came through the door. “Hey, it’s Blake.”

She affixed a smile, disappointed in herself for not feeling happier at his visit.

She opened the door and he was standing there looking dapper in khakis and a button-down shirt with tie.

“On your way to work?” she said.

“Yeah, I don’t have much time,” he said. “I heard your TV and thought I’d swing by real quick.” He studied her face. “Is everything all right?”

“Yes,” she lied. “Just taking a personal day to do some things around here.”

“I was wondering if you might want to see a movie tomorrow night. My treat, of course,” he laughed.

She hesitated just long enough for him to wince a little bit.

“I’d love to,” she said, smiling wider.

He slid his hand through his hair. “You sure about that?”

“Yes, really I am. It would be great to go to a movie with you.”

“Okay.” He seemed about to say something else but then thought better of it.

“Well, I should head out to work. Good luck with…whatever it is you’re doing around here.”

She laughed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Blake.”

He walked off and she closed the door, trying to convince herself that she was happy and better off this way.

Blake’s a good man and sweet. It’s better this way. Really it is.

***

Kennedy made good on her promise to get her apartment in shape. She went out and bought some more furniture and little decorations. She was able to do it by opening a new charge card, which was a little ridiculous, but she figured it was reasonable given her new salary.

At home, she lit candles, straightened things even more and made the room brighter and cozier.

By the time the late afternoon rolled around, she was feeling a little better about everything. After all, what was there to feel bad about?

She was living in New York City, she had a job, a potential suitor, and a whole new life unfolding before her.

Yes, there were moments where she thought about Easton and the way his hand could draw heat to her entire body, could make her on fire with pleasure just by the merest touch. There was a need there, but Kennedy decided that she had enough self worth not to let that need consume her.

If Easton didn’t want her anymore, if she was too much trouble to him, then she accepted his decision. She wouldn’t waste her time pining over him.

Just as this new reality was beginning to sink in, she heard her phone buzz over on the countertop. Kennedy looked down to see a text from Easton, and her heart started hammering in her chest.

Drinks at Red’s house tonite. Be there to pick u up in 1 hour.

She was stunned. She’d assumed that she was no longer invited to Red and Nicole’s home with Easton after everything that had happened.

She wasn’t certain what to write back to him. She hesitated over the phone, wondering what she really even felt.

You want to go, who are you kidding? You’ve been wanting to be around Nicole
and Red—that was the whole reason for everything you’ve done. That was the whole
point of this insane journey.

And, let’s face it, you also want to be with Easton. You’re not going to refuse on
pride. That would be the height of stupidity. Besides, it’s purely a business occasion, it’s
not a date or anything of the sort.

That settled it. She wrote him back a professional and concise email stating that she would be ready when he came to pick her up.

A second later, Kennedy was in her closet digging for the perfect outfit. It had to be sexy, but not too sexy, and it had to make Easton want her again. At the same time, she didn’t want to offend Red or Nicole—anything but that.

She ended up choosing to wear a white lace cocktail dress with a rounded neck (not too much cleavage on display but plenty of leg). Kennedy spent the rest of the hour on her hair and makeup. By the time she was done, Kennedy thought she looked confident, poised and…ready. Ready for anything.

Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, a thought ran through her mind and just clicked into place.

You are ready for anything. And tonight, you’re going to find a way to let Easton
know it.

Leaving the bathroom, she marveled at how quickly her priorities had shifted since leaving Cambridge. Hadn’t this whole trip, this entire venture, been about finding them? Nicole and Red? Finding a way to be connected, a part of their lives from a safe distance?

Of course, she wanted more than that. She wanted much more than that.

But now, something had changed and she’d become less concerned with them and more concerned with Easton Rather. Easton, who had nothing to do with anything. He was a mistake, a last minute curveball.

Here she was, though, thinking almost only of him, when by all rights she should be jumping out of her skin at the chance she was getting to be in Nicole and Red’s private home. How on earth could she have even predicted it?

Shouldering her purse, Kennedy stood next to the door to her apartment and waited for his text.

As her phone buzzed, without even needing to look at what was written on it, she opened the door and walked out into her new life.

***

This time, Kennedy made it past the front gate of the Jameson estate.

As they passed through in Easton’s car, Kennedy smiled a secret smile, knowing that just days ago she’d been turned away, having to lie and pretend she had no business there.

And now, as they made their way up the long road to the mansion, Kennedy marveled at the immaculate grounds, the tennis courts, the beautiful pond and bridge.

It was like something out of a fairy tale and she’d somehow stepped into it, stepped into the story and become a part of it.

Easton had been quiet on the ride over, but now he glanced at her curiously.

“You seem happy,” he said.

“I am,” she admitted, clutching her purse in her lap and staring out the front windshield as they approached the enormous home of Red and Nicole Jameson. “It’s just beautiful and breathtaking, isn’t it?” she said.

Easton nodded. “It’s not drab, that’s for sure.”

“I suppose you’re jaded to this kind of thing.”

“I’m not jaded, but I also don’t believe in swooning.”

She laughed. “That’s pretty obvious.”

“If I’m going to own a home like this one day soon, I don’t see the point in behaving as if I’m lucky to set foot in their driveway.”

A moment later, they’d parked and Red was coming out of the doorway to greet them.

Once again, Kennedy felt herself getting tongue tied as Red greeted her and asked how she was finding her first few days at the company. She muttered something about enjoying new experiences.

He led them inside the mansion and she could only stare at the high ceilings, the spiral staircase, floors that gleamed and beauty that greeted her from every corner.

“Come to the sitting room with me,” he said, leading them onward.

“Is Nicole around?” Kennedy asked, her palms sweating at the thought of meeting her for the very first time. What would it be like? What would Kennedy say? Would Nicole sense the truth—would Nicole know, somehow, someway?

“I apologize,” Red told them over his shoulder as he continued onward. “Nicole and our daughter Riley are out to dinner with Nicole’s friend, Danielle. But hopefully when Nicole comes back later, she’ll join us for a drink.”

Kennedy was simultaneously relieved and heartbroken.

Red brought them into an enormous room of blue, gold and yellow. The couches were sprawling, the chairs were ornate, like something a king and queen might sit on.

“Care for something to drink?” he asked. “We’ve got white, red, vodka, tequila, beer, you name it.” He walked behind a magnificent, polished wet bar in the far corner of the room.

“I’ll take any kind of dark beer,” Easton said, moving towards him.

“I’ll have some white wine,” Kennedy said.

Easton turned to her, his voice lowering. “Are you sure about that? Maybe you should just have a soda.”

She scowled a little at him. “I want to.”

Red gave them a puzzled look. “So, beer and wine then?”

“Yes,” Kennedy replied, heading over.

The three of them stood at the bar as Red poured. Soon, the three of them were drinking.

“Come, I’ll show you the pool area.” He walked them outside and to the pool, which was lit, shimmering in the darkness. Steam rose from the aqua, luminescent water.

“Wow, that is incredible,” Kennedy said.

“You want to swim? It’s heated,” Red told her.

“You keep it heated year round?” she laughed.

“Not all the way. But it will heat up to the eighties or nineties in a matter of minutes. What about you, Easton?”

Easton laughed. “I’m afraid neither of us brought our swim trunks.”

“That’s all right. We have stuff. Kennedy would fit into one of Nicole’s suits and you can borrow one of mine.”

Easton and Kennedy both chuckled awkwardly, exchanging glances. “What about you?” Easton asked him.

Red shrugged. “I don’t much care to swim, this is old news to me. But if you wanted to, I wouldn’t mind.” He took a drink from his beer. “After all, what fun would it be to come here if we’re just going to sit around and be stuffy and talk business all night?”

Easton shrugged. “I’ll swim, sure.”

Kennedy shivered a little. “Only if the pool gets warm enough.”

Red walked over to a control panel on the side of the house. “I’ll set the temp at ninety-four degrees. If it’s too hot or too cold, you just let me know.”

Kennedy took a long drink of wine. “I’ll need another of these.”

Easton gave her a warning look, but she ignored him.

“I’ll grab you another glass when I bring out your bathing suits. There’s a changing room in the cabana,” he said, pointing to a small hut nearby. Then he walked back into the house.

Easton turned to Kennedy. “Don’t you dare get drunk and make a scene tonight.”

“Why would you even have to say that?”

“Because I’ve seen you drink, that’s why.”

She brought the wine glass to her lips and took an extra long sip. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think it’s really any of your business what I put into my body. We’re both guests here.”

His expression darkened. “Let’s just keep it light.”

“Absolutely. You won’t believe how light I can keep it.” She was feeling decidedly bold. Her body thrummed with energy and confidence. Easton wanted her, she could see it and she wasn’t going to blow it this time. Tonight she would show him just how far she was willing to go.