Under His Command (For His Pleasure, Book 17) (18 page)

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” she told him.

He smiled. “I doubt the kind of guys you’re used to hanging around have those kinds of conversations.”

She thought of Jayson and winced inwardly. That conversation was nothing compared to what she’d had to deal with from the guy she’d been hanging around with.

“I think you have a strange idea about people that I spend time with. You seem to think that everyone who goes to a preppy school is just sheltered and rich and happy. It’s not really like that.”

“It’s not?” he smirked.

“A lot of them are, sure,” she admitted, “but some of them are depressed and miserable. Some of them are mean. Some of them are worse than that.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Elijah said. “But believe me, you would take the nastiest of your bunch and put them in my neck of the woods—they don’t last twenty-four hours.”

“Maybe not. But you’re not as bad as you seem to think you are, Elijah.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I’m starting to know you.”

That quieted him. He seemed to be thinking awhile. “I told you I was running away from something too,” he said.

She nodded. “That person on the phone just now—is that who you’re running away from?”

“Partly. Let’s just say that I fell in with a bad crowd.” He laughed, like this amused him.

“What’s so funny?”

“That’s just total bullshit. I didn’t fall in with them. I grew up with them. They were my best friends. One of them is my kid brother.”

She could see the hurt in his eyes now. It was obvious that he was struggling with his decision as much as she was struggling with her own. “Maybe you and me aren’t as different as you think,” she said.

“How so?”

“Everyone you know thinks you’re being a traitor, right?” she asked him.

He nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Well, that’s what everyone’s going to think about me when they realize that I took off, left college to go to Florida. They’re going to think I’m crazy, ungrateful, entitled, whatever.” She looked at Elijah. “But I had to go. It was either leave Boston and give myself a chance to actually live for myself, or stay and just completely lose myself.”

“Yeah, I suppose that’s how I felt too,” he said. “You know, I can see why you got into Cambridge,” he said. “That’s pretty damn smart.”

“Thanks,” she smiled.

Over the next couple of hours, they mostly listened to music. Elijah seemed to prefer stuff like the Foo Fighters and Death Cab for Cutie, whereas Caelyn was pretty much into Usher and Rihanna and mainstream pop music. Surprisingly, Elijah wasn’t jerky about it like some boys had been in the past.

He didn’t make fun of her for her musical tastes. In fact, he happily tuned the radio to a hits station for the better part of an hour.

As evening started to fall, however, and the sky slowly darkened, Elijah was tiring again and this time, even he couldn’t deny it.

“I’m not going to make it all the way to Florida,” he said softly, after a long period of relative silence.

“I didn’t expect you to,” she replied.

“My eyes are burning, my back is killing me. I need to get out of this car and stretch my legs and…”

“We need to stop at a hotel for the night,” Caelyn said. She was looking forward to it, actually. Sure, it would have been nice to get to Florida in one straight shot, but it wasn’t worth dying to try and make it. They had continued way past what she thought was reasonable, and it was time to accept defeat.

Besides, she was still wearing the same outfit from the previous night, and her same old caked on makeup and she felt gross. A bath would be very nice, too.

“All right, let’s pull off at the next exit,” Elijah said. “Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing.”

“I’m just going to stop at the first halfway decent place we see,” he said, “since I don’t really know what’s nearby.”

“I can check my phone,” she offered.

But minutes later, they were taking the next off ramp and soon off the exit, they spotted a Holiday Inn Express that looked like a beautiful oasis after everything she’d been through recently.

“Hopefully, they have some rooms open,” Elijah said, as they pulled in. “The lot doesn’t seem too full.”

“Should I come in with you?” she asked, as he pulled the car over beside the front entrance.

“No, let me just run in really quick and see what’s available.”

“You sure?”

“Yup.” He hopped out of the SUV, suddenly energetic, and she watched him go inside. She could see his broad back as he walked, and the wind ruffled his hair slightly.

The butterflies had started up again, and she put a hand on her stomach. What was she feeling, exactly? She wasn’t certain. Elijah was absolutely handsome—was it that simple? Was she physically attracted to him, or was it something else?

She waited in the car, hoping they wouldn’t tell him the hotel was booked up. But as the minutes went by, she imagined he must be getting rooms for them. She wondered how much it would cost, and if he’d try to once again pay for her.

When he finally returned to the car and got inside, she looked at him expectantly.

“Well?” she asked.

“Well, what?” he replied, driving away from the curb.

“Did they have any rooms available?”

“Yeah.” He pulled into a parking spot not far away.

“So…” she waited for him to explain. “How much do I owe you, Elijah?”

“Don’t start this mess again,” he said. “Come on, I’m freaking beat. Let’s get up to the room before I collapse and you have to drag me up.”

His words hit her fully as the got out of the car and started toward the entrance together. “Wait a second,” she said, pulling up short.

He looked at her. “What?”

“You said ‘room.’ As in, you got just one room for both of us?”

He started to smile. “Yeah, I got just one room. Don’t worry, kid—I’m not going to put the moves on you or anything like that. I’ll sleep on the floor if it makes you feel better.”

She felt her cheeks blushing. “I’m not saying…that….” she stuttered. “I just figured we’d get separate rooms. I mean, we hardly even know each other.”

He put his duffel bag down and folded his arms across his muscular chest. “Well, let me break the math down for you, Caelyn. It cost me a hundred and thirty bucks for that one room. Do you really want to spend that much, just so you don’t have to worry about me leaving the toilet seat up?”

“No, I guess not.” She sighed, wiping the hair from her face. “It’s just kind of weird, that’s all. And I need to know that you’ll respect my space and my privacy.”

He repressed a smile. “Of course I will.”

“I’m serious, Elijah. I’ve had a rough couple of days.” Suddenly, out of nowhere, tears were threatening.

As if he sensed that she really was serious, Elijah’s smile softened. His eyes were now much warmer than the previous second. “Hey, I’m serious too,” he said. “I’m not going to mess with you. I’ll sleep on the floor, I really don’t mind. I’ve slept in worse places, I assure you.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

“Come on, let’s get up to the room. I think we’re both wiped at this point,” he said.

They walked through the warm, well-lit lobby together. The concierge at the front desk smiled and waved at them. “Enjoy your stay,” he said.

Caelyn waved in return, wondering if that man assumed the two of them were boyfriend and girlfriend like everyone else seemed to be doing.

Of course he assumes that—it would be strange to think otherwise.

And what if I actually wanted something to happened between us tonight? Caelyn wondered. Would Elijah still want to sleep on the floor? Does he think of me as just a silly young girl—a kid—or a friend, or something more?

As usual, she had no answers, only questions and butterflies.

They were on the second floor of the hotel. He pulled out the keycard for the door, and the little light on the door handle went from red to green and flashed. The door clicked and Elijah opened it, revealing a decent-sized room with two queen beds. “Guess I won’t have to sleep on the floor after all,” he winked, flipping on the lights as he went into the room ahead of her.

It was cool inside, with the air freshened scent common to a new room that had just been cleaned recently.

The moment she’d gotten inside, Caelyn dropped her purse and bag to the floor.

She felt like she’d just come home from war. The bed was already calling her name, but first she needed a nice hot shower.

Elijah turned on the television and began flipping channels. Now that they were in the hotel room together, alone, it felt suddenly very intimate and real.

It felt like they were really together.

She looked at Elijah as the light from the television illuminated his face. He was focused on the TV screen, not noticing her for the time being, and she was able to just look at him.

Okay, so he’s fucking hot.

She’d known he was good-looking, clearly, but now that they had stepped out of the car and into a hotel room, something in her awareness had shifted. Elijah was the type of guy that girls would fight to make their boyfriend, compete and scratch and claw to sleep with. He was seriously that hot.

She was alone in a room with him. And there was a bed in this room. They could lie on the bed together and nobody would ever know.

Suddenly, she was imagining them on the bed together—his hard body pushed close to her, his strong, muscular arms encircling her, as he leaned in and began softly kissing her.

She forced herself to break out of the ridiculous fantasy and stop staring.

How can you even think about kissing Elijah after what Jayson did to you last
night? Are you insane?

Now, the butterflies were going and she felt anxious, like her heart was racing.

“I’m taking a shower,” she announced, her voice a little too loud.

He took his gaze off the TV and looked at her quizzically. “Okay. Have fun.”

She went into the bathroom, shut the door behind her and turned the water on full blast in the tub. Her heart was still beating too fast and she could hardly catch her breath.

Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, her face was too pale and she looked like a tired old clown with all the dried makeup and the mascara that had run down her cheeks when she’d been crying.

She felt a strong need to tear off her clothes. They stink, she thought. She’d been wearing them for a day and a half and she’d gone over Jayson’s wearing the outfit. She’d been dumb enough to want to dress sexy for him, never realizing what that might mean.

Never considering that it might lead where it led.

Caelyn pulled off her top and then stepped out of her skirt as the steam started to fill the room. The heat was good. The heat was cleansing. She wasn’t wearing panties because Jayson had ripped them off during the struggle.

Now, looking at her own naked body, she was forced to see the bruises on her upper arm from where he’d grabbed her, the scratch on her belly, another large yellowing bruise on her thigh, the rawness on her knee.

There were other bruises and scrapes, too. Some smaller, some larger.

He beat me up,
she realized.
He beat me up and raped me.

The thought was loud in her head—almost a scream. Caelyn felt her self-control slipping away. Images from last night were flooding back in now, as if stripping off her clothes had also stripped away the final layers of armor that had protected her from the worst of the memories.

She saw Jason’s face close up, leering at her as he forced her down on the couch.

“Don’t fight it,” he warned, his voice hot in her ear.

Caelyn stepped into the scalding shower and began furiously lathering a washcloth with soap, and then scrubbing her body from head to toe. She spent a lot of time on her face because of the makeup, but she spent even more time on her breasts and between her legs.

It only occurred to her that she was sobbing when she came out of the fog of memory and heard herself, as if from a distance.

I’m crying,
she thought, and stopped instantly.

The memories faded, like a signal going dead. Somehow, she pushed it back.

Pushed everything down again.

The water had begun cooling, as she’d been standing in the shower scrubbing for quite awhile. She wasn’t even sure how long she’d been in there, but it must have been long enough to concern Elijah.

There was a knock on the bathroom door and then his voice, muffled, speaking.

“…okay in there…?”

She turned away from the cooling spray of water from the showerhead. “I’m fine, I’ll be out in a sec!”

“…making sure…”

She couldn’t hear the rest of what he said.

Smiling a little at his concern, Caelyn turned off the shower and stood dripping into the tub. Some of the worst of the anxiety and panic had passed. She felt a little better now that she had cleaned her body entirely. Her skin was red and raw, as though she’d scraped the top layer off.

She liked that idea. Shedding her old skin.

It was only when she put the towel around her torso and stepped out of the tub that she realized, in her haste, she’d forgotten to bring her little travel bag with her clothes into the bathroom.

“Elijah?” she called. He didn’t respond. The television was on out there, and he’d turned up the volume loud enough to not be able to hear her very easily.

Screw it, she thought. I’ll just run out there in my towel, grab my bag really quickly, and run back in.

Somehow, the idea of running out in her towel in front of Elijah didn’t really scare her the way it should have. After what had happened with Jayson, she’d have assumed that the mere idea of showing a flash of skin to Elijah would have totally freaked her out. But it didn’t.

Elijah could be trusted. Somehow, he was safe. Of course, she knew that he wasn’t really safe at all—in fact, she sensed that in many ways Elijah was more dangerous than Jayson—just not to her. Elijah wouldn’t ever hurt her. She knew it in a deep way, a sense that she couldn’t even begin to explain.

So she opened the bathroom door and ran to get her bag—and bumped directly into Elijah, and her towel started to fall off, so she grabbed it to keep it from exposing everything.