Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader
Read Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader Online
Authors: Bathroom Readers' Institute
“I want to sit down and be counted!
Uncle John’s Bathroom Readers
have just bowled me over. You guys are really on a roll. And now that you’ve got a website! It almost makes one consider getting a tanktop computer (rim shot). Tank you for providing endless hours of quality reading material for the porcelain library.”
“The
Bathroom Readers
are my number one (and number two) source of facts to amaze my friends.”
“I love you guys!! I’ve been an avid reader since your first book in 1988. I actually built a book shelf in my bathroom just to hold your books!!”
“I think they’re GREAT! I’ve bought all the books, and have thoroughly enjoyed each one. I can hardly have a conversation with someone that I am not reminded of a relevant article that provides meat for discussion. Keep up the good work!”
“I am unable to relax on the “throne” without a copy of Uncle John’s good book within reach. To me, the book is more essential than toilet paper. I have finally found a way to get inner peace at last!! Thanks, Uncle John!!!!”
“Just think if all the political meeting places around the world were equipped with
Bathroom Readers
, BRI could use it’s influence and wisdom to promote peace and prosperity for all! Doable? I think so!”
Uncle John’s
BIG
BATHROOM
READER
®
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Bathroom Readers’ Press
Ashland, Oregon
UNCLE JOHN’S
GREAT BIG BATHROOM READER
®
Copyright © 1998 by The Bathroom Readers’ Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
The following are registered trademarks: “Bathroom Reader,” “Bathroom Readers’ Institute,” “Portable Press,” and “Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader.”
For information, write The Bathroom Readers’ Institute,
P.O. Box 1117, Ashland, OR 97520
www.bathroomreader.com
Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld
BRI Technician on back cover: Larry Kelp
Uncle John’s Great Big Bathroom Reader
®
by
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute
Library of Congress Catalog Card Number: 98-074781
ISBN-13: 978-1-60710-654-8
Eighteenth Printing
25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 06 07 08 09 10
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“The Warren Commission,” “Who Is Jack Ruby?” “S & L Rogues,” “To Tell The Truth,” originally appeared in
It’s a Conspiracy!
by The National Insecurity Council. Text copyright © 1992, by Michael Litchfield. Published by Earth Works Press.
“Nostradamus Today,” “Predictions For the Year 2000,” “The Amazing Sir Oracle,” “The Bad Boys of 2000,” “The Secrets of Nostradamus,” “Whatever Happened to Flying Cars?,” from
Uncle John’s Indispensable Guide to the Year 2000
, copyright © 1998, by The Bathroom Readers’ Press.
“The King of the Ferret Leggers: A True Story,” by Donald Katz copyright © 1983. Originally published by
Outside
magazine. Permission to reprint granted by ICM.
“I Remember Ed Wood,” by Gregory Walcott copyright © 1996. Used with permission of Gregory Walcott.
“Oy Vey!
This
is Sesame Street?” copyright © 1997, reprinted by permission of the
Wall Street Journal
, Dow Jones and Co., Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
“Tabloid Secrets,” from
Grossed-Out Surgeon Vomits in Patients—An Insider’s Look at Supermarket Tabloids
by Jim Hogshire copyright © 1997. Permission to reprint granted by Feral House, Inc. Available from the Publisher, Feral House, for $12.95 plus $3 postage. Feral House 2532 Lincoln Blvd. #359, Venice, CA 90291.
www.FeralHouse.com
“Flagpole Sitting,” from A
Carnival of Sports
by Bill Severn copyright © 1974. Excerpted with permission by Ellen Coultier.
“Why We Cry Tears” from
The Day That Lightning Chased the Housewife & Other Mysteries of Science
by Julia Leigh and David Savold copyright © 1983 by the American Association for Advancement of Science. Reprinted by permission of Madison Books.
“Going Abroad,” from
Going Abroad
by Eva Newman copyright © 1997 by Marlor Press, Inc. Permission to excerpt granted by Marlor Press, Inc, St. Paul, MN.
“Parlez-vous Bureaucrat-ese?” and “Nasty Secrets of Advertising,” from
Doublespeak
by William Lutz copyright © 1989. Used by permission.
“I Dream of Jeannie”, “Inside the X-Files”, “Star Trek: The Next Generation” from
Cult TV
, by John Javna. Copyright © 1986 by John Javna. Reprinted by permission.
“Hits of the ’70s” and “Serendipitous Hits” from
Behind the Hits.
Copyright © 1985 by Bob Shannon and John Javna. Reprinted by permission.
Calling all Bathroom Readers!
Visit our website at
www.unclejohn.com
or
www.bathroomreader.com
•Order hard to find editions!
•Suggest topics for future editions!
•Read our favorites in the Throne Room
•Submit articles! •Become a BRI member!
The Bathroom Readers’ Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible.
John Javna
John Dollison
Jeff Altemus
Adam Silver
Jennifer & Sage
Michael Brunsfeld
Julie Roeming
Lonnie Kirk
Paul Stanley
Bennie Slomski
Paul Hadella
Chris Rose-Merkle
Lenna Lebovich
Ben Brand
Erik Linden
Jessica Vineyard
Dee Smith
Antares Multimedia
Jeff Cheek
Jay Newman
Jennifer Wahpahpa
Bill Varble
Nancy Chew
Bass Pike
Shawn Davis
Bob Weibel
Andy Nilsson
Erin Barrett
William Davis
Gordon Javna
Rich Stim
Tom Boerman
Bo Adan
Gary Pool
Harry Bartz
Richard Moeschl
Jonah Bornstein
Karen Carnival
Rachael Markowitz
Leeann Drabenstott
Moira Gleason
Mustard Press
Thomas Crapper
Marley & Catie Pratt
Jesse & Sophie,
B.R.I.T.
Hi to Emily and Molly!
According to BRI-member Billy Russo: “Native Americans made glue by mixing buffalo brains and tree sap.”
Hiya Gideon! Hiya Sam!
NOTE
Because the B.R.I. understands your reading needs, we’ve divided the contents by length as well as subject.
Short
—a quick read
Medium
—1 to 3 pages
Long
—for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required.
*
Extended
—for a leg-numbing experience.
