Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader (25 page)

—Newsday

“An Elgin, Illinois, man, wanted on an outstanding warrant, went down to his local police department to take part in the Ride Along program, which allows citizens to accompany police officers during patrols and see, among other things, criminals getting arrested, which he was.”

—“The Edge,”
The Oregonian

“Gary Harvey has been jailed for trying to pay his back taxes with a phoney $1 million-dollar check…and then demanding a refund. Judge Ann Aiken gave Harvey ten months behind bars.”

—USA Today

“Advertising doesn't always pay. Robert Peter Nelson III, a Washington County plumber, was arrested early Sunday and charged with robbery. Police said that Nelson had held up a Shop'n'Go at 2:30 am and a Uni-Mart at about 4:30 am. As he was driving away from a third store just minutes later, the clerk got a look at the van. Emblazoned on the side was a phone number and the name ‘Nelson Plumbing and Heating.' Said Police Superintendent James Morton, ‘He made it pretty easy to solve.'”

—Pittsburgh Tribune Review

“Thieves in Essex, England, tried to snort a bag of powder they found in Dee Blythe's living room—not realizing it was the ashes of her dead dog. As they made off with her TV, her VCR, and her stereo, they must have thought they'd hit the jackpot when they saw the powder marked ‘Charlie'—street slang for cocaine—in a vase on the mantlepiece. ‘It was horrible knowing they were in my house,' said Ms. Blythe, ‘but the idea of them trying to get high on a dead dog's ashes certainly made me feel a bit better.'”

—The Sun

In
Uncle John's Giant Bathroom Reader,
we told the story of how Elvis Presley's estate, which nearly went bankrupt after he died, went on to make more money than the King ever did when he was alive. It turns out that Elvis isn't the only one who got rich too late…

Not long after Mark Roesler graduated from law school in 1981, he was hired by the publisher of the
Saturday Evening Post
to protect the artwork of the late Norman Rockwell, who had painted more than 300 covers for the magazine.

Roesler's work with the Rockwell estate caught the attention of the Elvis Presley estate, which had been slowly sliding toward bankruptcy since the King's death in August 1977. The Presley estate hired Roesler, and he was instrumental in putting it on a sound financial footing.

Working with the Rockwell and Presley estates made Roesler realize how great the potential demand for his services was. He started a company, now known as CMG Worldwide, to manage and protect the legal rights of dead celebrities. Today CMG represents more than 200 of the world's most famous dead people, including Mark Twain, Buddy Holly, Amelia Earhart, James Dean, Princess Diana, George S. Patton, Jr., Ty Cobb, Malcolm X, and three of the original Little Rascals.

Lawyers like Roesler have revolutionized the field of “intellectual property.” In the old days, the assumption was that when a famous person died, their right to control their image—their “right of publicity,” as it's called—died with them and that anyone could use their image and likeness in any way they pleased. But Roesler and others have successfully argued that the “right of publicity” is an asset just like any other, and when a celebrity dies, ownership and control of that asset should pass on to the heirs. Several states have since passed laws that explicitly guarantee just that.

In the process of defining and protecting the rights of the famous dead, the lawyers have helped the value of these estates to soar. And their success hasn't gone unnoticed:
Forbes
magazine, long famous for its list of the 400 richest Americans, now also publishes an annual list of “Richest Deceased Celebrities.” More than 25 years after his death, Elvis is still the King: his estate earned an estimated $37 million between June 2001 and June 2002, easily beating
Peanuts
creator Charles Schulz, who came in second at $28 million. Here's a look at how the fortunes of five other famous dead people are faring:

Dean had made only three movies when he crashed his Porsche on California's Highway 46 in 1955 and died. He was just 24. But since then his face has become a classic Hollywood icon, and the licensing of his image in advertising, movie posters, coffee mugs, T-shirts, and other products earned his estate more than $30 million between 1984 and 1998 alone. The estate continues to pull in about $3 million a year—far more than Dean himself made during his brief career.

Perhaps the most morbid licensing arrangement came in 2002, when Porsche dealers in New Zealand marketed—with the Dean family's permission—a limited-edition Boxster sportscar, a bizarre attempt to use the fact that Dean was killed in one of the company's products…in order to sell more of the company's products.

For many years Ruth's daughter Julia Ruth Stevens had no means of controlling who got to use her famous father's image or how they used it. “Most people didn't bother to ask me for permission to use daddy's name, and there wasn't a lot I could do about it,” she says. The only people who paid money were those who felt guilty using it for free; because of this Stevens might get a token $100 “royalty” check every couple of years. Not anymore—since signing with CMG Worldwide she has collected more than $100,000 a year. “It's funny that in daddy's best year, he made only $80,000, and now I'm receiving more than that,” she says.

The prolific gangsta rapper was only 25 when he was killed in a drive-by shooting in Las Vegas in 1996. He left behind more than 200 unreleased tracks, and after his death his mother, Afeni Shakur, sued his record label to win control of the recordings. By 2002 she had released five new albums, and more are in the works. (Shakur released only four albums while he was alive.) Tupac's estate has earned an estimated $40 million since 1998—more than he made when he was alive—and currently pulls in about $7 million a year.

When 27-year-old Hendrix died of a drug overdose, he left no will, so his entire estate—including hundreds of hours of unreleased recordings—was inherited by his father, James “Al” Hendrix. Al handed over management of the estate to attorney Leo Branton, who methodically combed through the recordings looking for material that could be released in new albums. Today there are more than 400 Hendrix releases, including dozens of bootlegs. When Branton tried to sell the rights to Hendrix's music to MCA for a reported $50–75 million in 1993, Al Hendrix sued to stop him, arguing that the music was worth closer $90 million. Hendrix won, and the rights are still in the family. The estate earned $8 million in 2001–2002, landing Jimi in ninth place on the
Forbes
list.

Earnhardt was already America's most popular race-car driver when he was alive, but when he died in February 2001 after crashing his car at the Daytona 500, he became an almost-mythical figure to racing fans. They snapped up more than $20 million worth of Dale Earnhardt merchandise in the year following his death.

Sales of Dale Earnhardt books, T-shirts, model race cars, Monopoly games, cell-phone faceplates, commemorative Coke cans, and other merchandise dropped off a bit in 2002, but the family draws inspiration from the fact that 25 years on, the Elvis Presley estate is still selling more than $37 million worth of stuff each year. “If Dale Earnhardt gets the same reaction,” says estate spokesman J. R. Rhodes, “everyone involved will be ecstatic.”

Here's our latest installment of great movies you may have never seen. Take this with you the next time you go to the video store with no idea what to rent.

S
AY ANYTHING
(1989)
Comedy

Review:
“Satisfying teenage comedy-drama about a self-assured loner (John Cusack) who goes after the class brain (Ione Sky), and finds her surprisingly human. Amusing, endearing, and refreshingly original; written by first-time director Cameron Crowe.” (
Leonard Maltin's 2001 Movie & Video Guide
)

RAISE THE RED LANTERN
(1991)
Foreign/Drama

Review:
“Director Zhang Yimou spins an intimate, intense tale of an oppressed woman's descent into madness. Set entirely within the claustrophobic compound where a Chinese nobleman lives with his four wives, the film is always engrossing, enlivened by the director's stunning use of color.” (Stephen Farber, “Movieline”)

SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION
(1993)
Drama

Review:
“A young man (Will Smith) arrives on the doorstep of a sophisticated New York couple (Stockard Channing and Donald Sutherland) claiming to be a friend of their children…and the son of Sidney Poitier. Witty, complex, always engaging study of identity and more.” (
Halliwell's Film and Video Guide 2001
)

THINGS CHANGE
(1988)
Comedy

Review:
“Director David Mamet and co-writer Shel Silverstein have fashioned a marvelously subtle and witty comedy about an inept, low-level gangster (Joe Mantegna). He goes against orders to take an old shoe-shine ‘boy' (Don Ameche) on one last fling before the latter goes to prison for a crime he didn't commit.” (
Video Movie Guide 2001
)

SILENT RUNNING
(1971)
Science Fiction

Review:
“The future: Plants do not exist on Earth anymore. Greenhouses in orbit contain the last samples of Earth's dying forests. But one day the government decides that the program has
to be stopped. Directed by Douglas Trumbull, master of special effects who worked on
2001: A Space Odyssey
. A cult movie for SF fans.” (
Scifi.com
)

THE KILLER
(1989)
Foreign/Action

Review:
“John Woo's best film features Chow Yun-Fat as an honorable assassin trying to get out of the business. Impeccable pacing and incredible action choreography create an operatic intensity that leaves you feeling giddy. Available both dubbed and in Cantonese with English subtitles.” (
Video Movie Guide 2001
)

THE TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE
(1974)
Suspense

Review:
“Ruthless Robert Shaw and three cohorts hijack NYC subway train, hold passengers for one million in cash—to be delivered
in one hour!
Outstanding thriller, laced with cynical comedy, bursts with heart-stopping excitement, terrific performances, and first-rate editing.” (
Leonard Maltin's 2001 Movie & Video Guide
)

MONSOON WEDDING
(2001)
Drama

Review:
“Rarely do films come along that are as intelligent and moving as
Monsoon Wedding
. Director Mira Nair's kaleidoscopic portrait of an Indian family preparing for their daughter's marriage succeeds in creating a vivid panoply of characters and telling a variety of stories.” (
Reel.com
)

SLAP SHOT
(1977)
Comedy

Review:
“A profane satire of the world of professional hockey. Over-the-hill player-coach Paul Newman gathers an oddball mixture of has-beens and young players and initiates them, using violence on the ice to make his team win. Charming in its own bone-crunching way.” (
VideoHound's Golden Movie Retriever 2001
)

TWENTY BUCKS
(1993)
Drama

Review:
“Whimsical film follows a $20 bill from its ‘birth' in a cash machine to its ‘death' as it is returned to the bank, tattered and torn, for shredding. The bill is passed from owner to owner, sometimes simply and briefly, sometimes altering fate.” (
Video-Hound's Golden Movie Retriever 2001
)

According to one legend, the fruit that Eve found irresistible in the Garden of Eden was not an apple, but a banana. Is it true? Who knows? But for thousands of years, the banana has been a source of pleasure…and sometimes trouble.