TTYL (7 page)

mad maddie:

yo, angela! come back from the Land of Pinterest!

SnowAngel:

u again! wazzup?

mad maddie:

zoe and mr. h and this friday morning fellowship thing???? u seriously think this is normal?

SnowAngel:

well, i seriously think it's… i dunno. it's a school-sponsored event, isn't it?

mad maddie:

is it? and even so, how does that make it better?

mad maddie:

they're all gonna join hands and sing “It Only Takes a Spark!” you know they are.

SnowAngel:

aw, i like that song. it makes me feel all warm inside.

mad maddie:

oh god

SnowAngel:

*looks soulfully into the distance* that's how it is with God's love, once u experience it. u wanna sing, it's fresh like spring, u wa-a-a-nt to pas-s-s-ss it on.

SnowAngel:

i think it's called “pass it on,” come to think of it.

mad maddie:

it just surprises me that zoe's getting all religious. i thought she was smarter than that.

SnowAngel:

what, smart ppl can't be religious? and zoe goes to church, u know. at least every so often.

mad maddie:

yeah… but friday morning fellowship????

SnowAngel:

oh, phooey. maybe she'll meet some guys.

mad maddie:

like mr. h, u mean?

mad maddie:

a teacher shouldn't be offering rides to his students when it's just going to be the two of them. especially when it's mr. h.

SnowAngel:

relax, maddie. repeat after me: “zoe is just going to friday morning fellowship. she has not sold her soul to the devil.”

mad maddie:

yeah? just u wait!

zoegirl:

hey, angela. i called you about an hour ago—did you get my message?

SnowAngel:

yeah, sorry for not answering. i was hanging out with rob. *drools*

SnowAngel:

i actually can't txt for long cuz he's picking me up at 8 to go hear this band at the dark horse.

zoegirl:

the dark horse? isn't that a bar?

SnowAngel:

i'm gonna use his sister's i.d.

zoegirl:

you better be careful. you could get so busted if the bouncer doesn't go for it.

SnowAngel:

nah, rob says they'd just take lisa's license and cut it up, but that's not gonna happen. so what'd u call about?

zoegirl:

you know i'm going to friday morning fellowship, right?

SnowAngel:

yeah, and maddie's steamed like a pot sticker.

zoegirl:

i know. it's bizarre. it's like she thinks i'm joining some beardy-weirdy religious cult.

SnowAngel:

maybe… or maybe she's afraid ur gonna jump in the sack with mr. h.

zoegirl:

angela!!! please don't even SAY that. like mr. h would even consider it!

SnowAngel:

would u want him to?

zoegirl:

very funny.

zoegirl:

*i* think it has to do with the whole religious thing, and the fact that it means i'll be hanging out with new people. all day at school maddie called me her sister in christ, and then she'd throw out a word like “shit” or “balls” and gasp as if she was afraid she'd offended me. “oh dear,” she'd say. “will your new friends be pissed? i mean, perturbed?”

SnowAngel:

she's just teasing

zoegirl:

it's so irritating. i wouldn't care if she wanted to hang out with other people.

SnowAngel:

r u kidding? i would! 4ever friends, remember? the winsome threesome?

zoegirl:

but that doesn't mean JUST us.

SnowAngel:

it doesn't? jk

zoegirl:

it's just… i really like talking to mr. h, that's all.

zoegirl:

i'm not going to start wearing huge crosses around my neck, and i'm not going to replace madigan with cherryl ann booth. geez.

SnowAngel:

i know. don't worry.

zoegirl:

but back to why i called. i know it's dumb, but what should i wear? to friday morning fellowship, i mean.

SnowAngel:

dumb? *widens eyes* zoe, fashion is NEVER dumb!

zoegirl:

soooo?

SnowAngel:

well, zoe dear, it's all about the details. say, for example, i'm getting ready for a date… hey, wait a minute! i AM getting ready for a date!

zoegirl:

go on

SnowAngel:

and say i put powder on my nose to get rid of the shininess, and i use just a dab of cheek tint to get that flushed-and-glowing look, and i curl my eyelashes for ten seconds on each side and put on one coat of black mascara, AFTER gently wiping the wand on a square of toilet paper to de-glumpify it…

SnowAngel:

well, say i do all that, but i forget to pluck the nasty and annoying chin hair that appears like clockwork a week before i get my period. (not that i ever wld. i HATE that chin hair.)

SnowAngel:

but say i did, do u think rob would fall to his knees and worship me for the goddess i am?

zoegirl:

um… is this somehow going to lead back to me? and what i should wear?

SnowAngel:

let's do a visual, shall we? *whips out artist's palette
and jaunty beret* Portrait of Zoe on a Typical Day: shiny brown hair in cute little bob, big brown eyes, shy smile.

SnowAngel:

so far, so good, which is lucky since u can't do much about your basic face. u COULD flip out the ends of your hair and add some wax for an edgier look, but blah, blah, blah, i know u won't.

zoegirl:

i look stupid when i try to do my hair some fancy way. we have gone over this.

SnowAngel:

zoe, zoe, zoe. even Amish girls use wax, like Betsy on “Breaking Amish,” remember?

zoegirl:

no, because i never watched that show and i still can't believe you did.

SnowAngel:

still can't believe i *do*. it's a great background show for doing hw to.

SnowAngel:

but whatever, let's move on. it's a school thing, not a date, even tho it's at some guy's house. u wanna be comfy and casual, but still look good. i say u can't go wrong with jeans and a white t-shirt. NOT your dad's vanderbilt shirt, but a shirt that fits. do u own one that fits?

zoegirl:

you don't think that's boring, jeans and a t-shirt?

SnowAngel:

think classic, zoe. not boring. add in a pair of dangly earrings and ur good to go.

zoegirl:

what about you? what are you wearing to the dark horse?

SnowAngel:

well since u asked. attire: black tank, skinny jeans, my black boots with the buckles, hair in a jillion clippies. scent: Juicy. makeup: standard, but with thicker eyeliner for that over-21 look.

SnowAngel:

whaddaya think?

zoegirl:

lovely, dahling

SnowAngel:

*kisses all around* and now i simply must run. gotta go pluck that chin hair!

SnowAngel:

i'm in heaven!!! simply heaven!!!

zoegirl:

hey, angela. i am SO sorry, but i was seriously just about to turn my phone off. i am soooo tired.

SnowAngel:

don't u wanna hear about my romantic evening? i wld have called, but i was too scared of yo mama since it's so late.

zoegirl:

can u tell me all about it tomorrow?

SnowAngel:

but, zoe! i think he may be THE ONE.

zoegirl:

the “one” what?

SnowAngel:

*lowers voice to stage whisper* the one i go all the way with (!!!)

zoegirl:

oh god

SnowAngel:

i'm saying MAYBE, that's all. IF things keep going well—and i know they will. *swoons*

SnowAngel:

making love with rob would be amazing, i just know it.

zoegirl:

and how, exactly, do u know it?

SnowAngel:

cuz he's hot! and cuz at least i've done more than kiss a guy, that's how.

SnowAngel:

anyway, one of us has to go for it eventually so she can tell the others what it's like. and not to be rude, but it's not gonna be u or maddie.

zoegirl:

well, now that i know ur really doing it for us…

SnowAngel:

zoegirl:

i'm just glad you're not rushing into things. i'm glad you went out on two whole dates before making this life-changing decision.

SnowAngel:

rob and i have a true connection, zoe. u know i'm never wrong about these things!