TTFN (19 page)

mad maddie:

ok, angela, here's something to cheer u up. it's Professor Poopypants' Name Change-O-Chart 2000. u type in your name and it spits back your new “silly” name. wanna hear yours?

SnowAngel:

is this your peace offering?

mad maddie:

your silly name is “stinky pizzabuns,” and i'm “pinky pottybutt.” i love it.

SnowAngel:

not that i care … but what's zoe's?

mad maddie:

she's got the best of all. “zsa zsa toiletsniffer.”

SnowAngel:

hmmph

SnowAngel:

should i introduce myself tomorrow as “stinky pizzabuns,” do u think?

mad maddie:

angela, that would be so awesome. u should, u totally should!

SnowAngel:

uh … no

mad maddie:

why not? it's a chance to be a whole new u!

SnowAngel:

i don't wanna be a whole new me! i just wanna be the normal old me, but how can i do that if no one even knows who i am?!!

mad maddie:

zsa zsa, hey. i just talked to angela, and she is seriously un-stoked about her new school.

zoegirl:

maddie! i'm so glad u texted. i've been feeling lonely. but why did u call me zsa zsa?

mad maddie:

no reason. so when r u guys gonna get over this stupid fight?

zoegirl:

*i'm* not fighting. *she* is. and you're right,
it's stupid. i left her a message on her voicemail earlier today, and i was like, “angela, come on. in the grand scheme of things, this is not that big a deal.”

mad maddie:

i bet that made her feel validated

zoegirl:

i just meant that our friendship is stronger than this. and i've sent her tons of emails, since she won't respond to my texts or my calls.

mad maddie:

she's weakening. i can tell.

zoegirl:

i dunno, but i hope so. guess i'll try her again tomorrow.

SnowAngel:

I HATE EL CERRITO HIGH SO MUCH!!!

mad maddie:

ah, shit. what happened, a?

SnowAngel:

they have METAL DETECTORS, maddie. everyone has to line up and walk thru this security gate, with an armed guard standing right there. it is so so so different from atlanta. it's terrible.

mad maddie:

ick, that would freak me out.

SnowAngel:

and they've got all these stupid rules, like “4 Bs and a U”

mad maddie:

wtf?

SnowAngel:

it's their dress code. no breasts, bellies, backs, or butts, and no underwear. meaning, u can't have any of those things exposed. this guy in my homeroom goes, “it's like we're under control of Al-Qaeda, man.” and my homeroom teacher, whom i hate, goes, “yes, only we won't skin u alive. the word for that is ‘flay,' by the way.”

SnowAngel:

what a wanker

mad maddie:

what about the kids? u meet anyone cool?

SnowAngel:

no. not a single person talked to me except glendy
(who was wearing high-rise jeans, fyi) (ALSO, fyi, while I know that some ppl claim that high-rise is back in … NO. not on glendy.) she glommed onto me like we were best buds, and i could see everyone looking at me and going, “L-O-S-E-R.” *puts L on forehead*

mad maddie:

u've gotta ditch the glendinizer, angela

SnowAngel:

yeah, but how???

SnowAngel:

she gave me a little plastic Care Bear to clip onto my backpack! i tried to stuff it in the bottom compartment, and she pulled it right back out again and clipped it onto the zipper!

mad maddie:

egad

mad maddie:

which care bear is it?

SnowAngel:

Friend Bear!

SnowAngel:

SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND!!!

mad maddie:

lose the glendinizer, that's all i can say

SnowAngel:

gee, thanks, ur a big help

mad maddie:

chin up, angela. this was only your first day—things'll get better.

SnowAngel:

if they don't, i don't know what i'll do

mad maddie:

well, were there any cute guys?

SnowAngel:

no

mad maddie:

any fun teachers?

SnowAngel:

no

mad maddie:

any good snack machines, for god's sake?

SnowAngel:

they sell apples and raisins and granola bars, maddie. *bares teeth in horrid semblance of a smile*

mad maddie:

no licorice whips? no devilishly good ding dongs?

SnowAngel:

it's meant to stimulate better brain growth. freakin california!

mad maddie:

ok, now ur depressing ME

SnowAngel:

as if my life wasn't bad enough, i have to read three chapters of biology and write a response to the first 20 pages of “The Heart of Darkness.” *glowers* I'LL show 'em a heart of darkness.

mad maddie:

the horror! the horror!

zoegirl:

hi, angela. everyone missed you at school today, just so you know. especially me.

SnowAngel:

ok, i've decided to talk to u. but i'm still extremely mad.

zoegirl:

angela!

zoegirl:

hurray, hurray, hurray!

SnowAngel:

i TOLD u, i'm still mad at u.

zoegirl:

i know, and i totally deserve it. and if it makes you feel any better, doug was mad at me too. we, like, had our first fight.

SnowAngel:

how tragic—by which i mean “yay.”

SnowAngel:

u fought over me?

zoegirl:

well, we didn't exactly fight, and it wasn't exactly over you. i mean, not in *that* way. but he thought i'd put you in a really bad position by not telling you about the two of us, and that by doing that, i put him in a really bad position.

zoegirl:

neither of us meant to hurt your feelings, angela

SnowAngel:

*glares silently*

zoegirl:

please don't be mad anymore. i just got caught in my own stupidness, that's all. i really did think you didn't like him, because that's what you've always said.

zoegirl:

do you forgive me?

SnowAngel:

no

SnowAngel:

but one day if u text me again, maybe i'll text back. and if u call my cell, i MIGHT pick up.

zoegirl:

well … that's a start, i guess

SnowAngel:

only i've had enough for right now, cuz u shouldn't get off scot-free after being such a jerk. so, goodbye.

zoegirl:

angela …

zoegirl:

are you serious?

zoegirl:

ok, fine. but come back soon!!!

SnowAngel:

hi, zoe

zoegirl:

angela, hi! you DID text me back, you did! what's up?

SnowAngel:

nothing, except i guess i wanna say that i forgive u for real.

zoegirl:

you do? thank god!

SnowAngel:

my mom says it was a coping strategy to be so angry at u, that it gave me something to focus all my anger at. i can't control being stuck in california, but i CLD control being mad at u.

zoegirl:

huh

zoegirl:

i did kind of wonder if u were taking things out on me … but i also know that i really did screw up.

SnowAngel:

u got that right

zoegirl:

and like i said, i'm sorry

SnowAngel:

*deep, cleansing breath* and i forgive u

SnowAngel:

so now u have to tell me about him, since u didn't for all this time.

zoegirl:

who, doug?

SnowAngel:

no, benedict cumberbatch. of course doug!!!

zoegirl:

well … he's wonderful. he's funny and he's sweet and he's got a poster of kermit the frog in his room.

zoegirl:

are you sure u want to hear this?

SnowAngel:

no, turns out i don't

SnowAngel:

just tell me 1 thing. do u honestly like him? like, a lot?

zoegirl:

yeah … i do.

SnowAngel:

why? i'm not being a brat, i really wanna know.

zoegirl:

oh, angela

zoegirl:

i like him because when we talk, it feels real. like, last night we sat on the floor of the den and watched this candle burn down, and we talked about all kinds of things—our families, what we want to do when we're older, what we believe in terms of God.

zoegirl:

it's just so rare to find someone—a guy!—who gets me, you know? who doesn't make me feel fake when i say what i'm honestly thinking.

SnowAngel:

yeah, i can see that

zoegirl:

although then it was weird when we finally stopped talking and it was time for him to go. he kept jingling his keys, but he wouldn't get up from the sofa and walk out the door. because i guess he was … thinking we should fool around.

SnowAngel:

what???

zoegirl:

never mind, that just slipped out. i didn't mean to bring up a touchy subject.

SnowAngel:

too late now. tell me!

zoegirl:

you sure?

SnowAngel:

if u don't, it will just make things worse.

zoegirl:

well, on our 1st date we fooled around kind of more than we should have, maybe. only why do i feel like that? like we *shouldn't* have? tons of people fool around. maddie fools around all the time. so if doug and i want to fool around, we should, right?

SnowAngel:

is this my little zoe, all grown up? should i be putting on my mom's “Fiddler on the Roof” cd? *strikes
melancholy pose* “Is this the little girl I carried? Is this the little boy at play? I don't remember growing older. When did they?”

zoegirl:

are you making fun of me?

SnowAngel:

“Sunrise, sunset. Sunrise, sunset. Swiftly flow the days!”

zoegirl:

stop singing!!!!!!!

SnowAngel:

ok, let's recap. u got down and dirty on your first date, and last night doug wanted an instant replay. did u give him one or not?

zoegirl:

*not*

zoegirl:

we kissed, but i didn't let it go further than that. finally i said, “doug, we have to get some sleep. you have to go.” he didn't take the hint, so i pulled him up and propelled him to the door and very unsubtly pushed him toward his car.

zoegirl:

now i'm worried he thought i was being a jerk.

SnowAngel:

yeah, he probably did

SnowAngel:

jk

zoegirl:

i didn't know it would be this complicated. the physical stuff, i mean.

SnowAngel:

just remember that as much as it pains me to say this, it really is ok to fool around or kiss or whatever. as long as you like each other, then that's a GOOD thing.

zoegirl:

i know

SnowAngel:

and there's a difference b/w fooling around and hooking up.

SnowAngel:

ur not maddie, zoe. don't worry.

zoegirl:

ouch

zoegirl:

but thanks. i know this can't be the easiest thing for you to talk about.

SnowAngel:

get real. what kind of twisted friend would freak out over a guy she'd never even gone out with???

SnowAngel:

anyway, that's what i'm here for, even if i AM 3,000 miles away.

zoegirl:

wait! we forgot to talk about YOU! do you want to tell me about your new school?

SnowAngel:

nah, i'm pretty wiped. i'm just glad things r good b/w us.

zoegirl:

me too. night!