Trying to Survive (Part 3) (8 page)

   When Allen and I locked eyes, I could see that he didn’t need any convincing. He was probably like me… He’d already figured it out in the back of his mind, long before anyone told him…
All you have to do is look around.

   “Before Jenny and Brian found us, we were stuck on the roof of a Vet’s office for days. We were surrounded by… five hundred shredders – easy… Being in Florida, I’m sure you could imagine how hot it was, and we barely had any water. In fact, if it hadn’t rained we might not even be here.”

   The news had deeply upset Veronica, to the point where it removed all patience. She snapped “What does that have to do with what we’re talking about?”

   “I’ll make this quick. We drove here from the middle of Florida and didn’t even run into twenty people. My point is that all you have to do is look around to know it’s true… I knew before Jenny even told me.” I looked at Allen. “You did too, didn’t you?”

   He glanced down and nodded. “I suspected.”

   “It doesn’t matter why or how it happened. All we can do is work to keep each other safe.”

   “So, what? We just keep going toward D.C. to find more of the same shit? More of us will get killed or hurt along the way… Why can’t we just stay in a place like this? I don’t want to go near built up areas ever again.”

   “Remember, this isn’t going to last forever. In a couple of years they’re going to start dying off, and by then they’ll have thinned their own numbers substantially due to starvation.”

   “So, why don’t we wait until then to go on a quest across the country, searching for something that probably doesn’t even fucking exist?” She said angrily without yelling.

   “Our plan is to keep searching for more survivors so we can eventually start clearing out an area and turn it into a safe-zone. We need more people.”

   “That’ll just mean more mouths to feed. Won’t that make everything even more difficult?”

   “If we have a small army, we might actually be able to get inside a real grocery store and clean it out. There would be enough canned food alone to last fifty or more people for years. Then we won’t have to constantly put ourselves at risk to find supplies. That’s the only way to be safe. Trust me… We’ve all thought this trough.”

   Allen said “He’s right, Veronica. We need an army.”

   “Exactly.”

Chapter 9

   Once Jenny did all she could for Brian, she led Clara outside for some fresh air and a long conversation about what happened last night. Clara’s experiences had her standing atop a proverbial wall, swaying back and forth, only moments away from losing her balance. Falling to one side would bring about strength, while falling to the other would lead to her destruction.

   I had faith that Jenny would help her go the right way. She was undoubtedly caring, but also tough and demanding, which in my opinion is exactly what Clara needed. She knows we can only do so much to keep her safe, and that’s what she really wants – is to just feel safe. And the only way she’ll truly ever feel safe is if she knows she can protect herself when we can’t.

   Allen helped us start collecting everything we might need and stacking it near the front door. When we came across tooth paste and brushes, we all took break, got some water from the long-warm refrigerators and put them to use.

   As we all stood around brushing our teeth, Veronica jokingly backed away with her palms out and said “When you all gather around together the smell is pretty overwhelming.”

   She reached over, grabbed a package of the pine tree shaped air fresheners for cars and threw it to Allen. “If you can’t find any deodorant, put these around your necks.”

   My smile quickly faded when I thought to myself –
You’re feeling safe again…

   After I took Veronica’s advice and hunted down some deodorant, I grabbed another small bottle of water and a toothbrush for Brian. I’d been busy and hadn’t really checked on him for some time. He was still sweating profusely, and I could tell that his pain was increasing.

   When I asked him how he was feeling, his sarcastic answer of “bored as shit” almost made him sound groggy, like he had just woken up.

   Jenny had been outside with Clara for quite a while, so I dropped off the brush, water and toothpaste with Brian and walked outside. My footsteps alerted Jenny and she looked back at me from the corner of her eye. I said “I think Brian is getting worse. He was still asleep when I woke up, but do you know if he slept more than a few hours last night? He seems kind of groggy.”

   “Yeah, I gave him Tylenol PMs.” Jenny said as she stood up.

   Before she went back inside, she tilted her head and glanced down at Clara. “We’ll talk again later.”

   I was about to sit down, but something came to mind that could possibly help Clara. “Come on, let’s go inside so you can get to know Allen and Veronica.”

   “Why? So it’ll hurt when they die?”

  
What the hell do I say to that?
“You can’t spend your time worrying about things like that, Clara. Two or three years might sound like a long time to wait for those things to die off… but let me tell you, it’s gonna go by a lot faster than you can even imagine. And next thing you know, you’ll be all grown up.”

   “We probably won’t even last one year.”

  
Fuck me… Is there such a thing as an apocalypse parenting book?

  
I began to think about what I was like when I was her age. For whatever reason, something specific came to mind. I always wondered why adults seemed so protective, and in turn, dishonest. It only worsened as I grew older.

   I said it myself – any sense of “childhood” past the age of eight , amongst other things, was nothing more than a luxury of advanced society.

   I drew in a deep breath, and decided to take a chance, sincerely hoping I didn’t just make things worse. “What if you had died instead of Anthony?”

   Clara quickly turned her head and looked up at me. Her emerald eyes held a mixture of sadness, anger and confusion.

   “Would you want Anthony to do what you’re doing now? To stop caring about anyone or anything, to just give up? Or would you want him to do everything he could do to survive and live to see those things gone forever?”

   Clara quietly rose to her feet and gazed down the long road leading off into what appeared to be more nothing. I heard footsteps and turned back, expecting to see Jenny. Instead, Veronica was standing in the doorway. When Clara turned around she said “Hi, we haven’t really met yet. I’m Veronica” and smiled.

   Not that I wasn’t hopeful, but as I suspected, Clara just walked past her as if she didn’t even exist. Veronica sighed and said “She’ll come around.” She took a few steps forward and folded her arms. “It’s barely even been a week, right?”

   “Yeah.”

   It was strange talking to people who stood directly next to me on my left. They were basically invisible. That partnered with my muffled hearing made it seem like a disembodied voice was coming from another dimension. The only reason I knew they were truly there is because I could feel their presence. It never ceased to make me paranoid.

   “It’s funny…”

   What could possibly be funny?

  
“We spent over two weeks trapped in that apartment, wishing we could leave. In reality, if we did manage to get away we probably wouldn’t have lasted very long out there… Eventually, Allen started cutting through the walls so he could check the other apartments for food and water.”

   I raised my brow. “That’s pretty clever.”

   “Well, he risked going outside first. That’s what the car alarms were for… He thought of it when he got stuck in the one next door and couldn’t get back to me.”

   “As long as Brian’s alright, I’d say things seemed to have worked out okay. Look around. Nothing in sight except grass, trees and this store packed full of food.”

   “Yeah, I suppose so… Anyway, I didn’t just come out here to try and make friends with Clara.”

   Veronica stepped down onto the parking lot from the concrete slab in front of the building, and stretched. When the sun hit her seemingly brown hair it almost turned completely to a shade of red, almost mahogany. She took a few steps forward, looked around and took in a deep breath.

   I found myself staring at her figure and admiring the different shades of red running down her back, continuously changing color as she moved around in the sunlight. 

   She slowly walked back over to me and stood on my right side, almost as if she recognized that I couldn’t see her on the other. “I’ve been wondering whether I should tell you or not… I figured if Allen wanted you to know, he would have told you last night in the car.”

   Her eyes moved to a small patch of grass that had broken through the asphalt. They glistened with angst and uncertainty. “You aren’t the only ones who have… things to deal with.”

   I turned to her…
They must have lost someone.

  
“I was visiting Allen and his wife the night everyone started to turn.”

   My heart sank. I could already feel the pain radiating from her…
Worse than loss
.

   “The only reason we’re alive is because she fell down the stairs and broke her neck when Allen fought her off of me.”

   I sighed…
He’s probably got it worse than anyone… Damn.
“I’m sorry that happened to him, but at least you’re alive. You two are some of the very few lucky ones, just like the rest of us.”

   “Lucky, huh?.. I’ve been wondering what it’s like to turn… Do you think they’re aware of what they’re doing?”

   “I like to think they aren’t. That’s it’s kinda like suddenly going insane. Losing yourself.”

   Veronica began to head back inside. “I hope you’re right – for their sake.”

  
“You should mention it to Jenny if you get a chance. She hasn’t had the time to really talk to either one of you yet. It could help ease the tension.”

   “I planned on it.”

   I noticed a small, dilapidated farm house, barely distinguishable in the distance. It was the only manmade structure in sight besides the store. The land was overgrown, but it obviously hadn’t been abandoned for more than a year or so.

   I imagined some poor soul struggling to keep it alive, and eventually just having to give up and move on… Not even able to sell it.

   I found myself staring at the old power lines and the rotting poles suspending them. I studied the large chunks missing from the cracked and uneven road leading in three directions. I thought about what it would mean if another group of people happened upon this place.

   I was trying to think about anything else other than what Jenny was going to tell me about Brian when I went back inside.

Chapter 10

   The next few hours were spent setting everything of use to us by the front door so it could easily be carried out to the cars when we decided to continue on. By the time we were done, I was feeling very fortunate.

   We’d gained at least a month’s supply of assorted food items, given we only partake in two small meals a day. A wide array of tools, both for auto repairs and general use, and even two car batteries that might come in handy if we ever need to power anything. Jenny explained that with a few electrical parts from a hardware store she could rig them to power everyday appliances.

   We found boxes of lighters and matches, cans of butane and even more cases of non-perishable foods in the storage room. We even added all of the shirts to the pile.

   Brian had grown quiet. He wasn’t visibly getting worse, and the bite and gashes only looked slightly irritated, but his highly unusual demeanor suggested he was in fact fighting off an infection. Every time I looked at him, the feeling or fortune vanished and I found myself wishing we never would have stopped here.

   I’d stepped outside for a cigarette so I could be alone and think. I barely even brought it to my lips. It mostly just burned away.

   Jenny eventually joined me, and wasted no time suggesting that I should expect bad news regarding Brian over the next day or two. “The way antibiotics work, he really could wake up tomorrow and suddenly be feeling better. Or even the next day… I’m just not sure that’s what’s going to happen.”

   “Why’s that? I’ve gotten infections from hurting myself at work. I remember one really bad cut on my hand took almost a week to get better after I finally went to the doctor and got meds.”

   “It’s different.” She sat down on the edge of the concrete slab and kicked her feet out. “When I was a kid, I was taking out the trash and I found a kitten in the can. We already had a cat, so I planned on giving it some food and trying to convince my parents to let me keep it… When I picked it up, it bit me on the hand and took off.”

   I’d been on my feet all day, so I sat down and joined her in staring out at the endless and waving road. “It didn’t really hurt, and there was only a little blood, so I didn’t think anything of it and went back in the house… It was only a little sore throughout the day and when I went to bed, but it woke up at about 5am. It was burning and throbbing. When I turned on the lamp next to my bed, I could see that all the veins around it were red and bulging, and that it was beginning to run up my arm.”

   “Holy shit. From a cat bite?”

   “A kitten… I had to be rushed to the hospital and I was there for almost a week. The doctors pointed out that it became so infected so quickly because the cat’s mouth was full of rotten food… That shredders mouth was full of rotting human flesh and a long, long list of bacteria. To be honest, I’m surprised he isn’t already much worse.”

   “What if we find a hospital? Would you have what you needed?”

   “Possibly… He is taking antibiotics meant for dogs. I’d be able to find something much, much stronger.”

   Our heads both whipped toward each other in unison. Before I even got my feet, Jenny was already inside telling everyone to start loading the trunks with our newfound supplies.

   “Okay, new plan everyone. We need to find a hospital immediately. And we need to get there before it’s too dark so we can clear out any shredders without being killed… Let’s take as much as we can with us, just in case something makes it so we can’t come back here for a while.”

   The others had also noticed Brian’s dismal condition, so they reacted without question and began rushing everything to the cars. Even Allen and Veronica were quick to react.

   Brian, on the other hand, didn’t care for the idea. “Whoa, whoa, Jenny! You can’t do this… Some of you could get killed trying to get in there. Do you have any idea how many shredders will probably be wandering around inside a hospital!?”

   Brian began trying to stand. He reached his hands out to push himself up from the floor and his arms trembled from the weight. “I’m feeling better.” He said as the sweat rolling off of his face started to form a small puddle underneath him.

   I joined Jenny as she ran over to make sure he didn’t fall. She forced him back to a seated position and put her hand on his forehead. “You’re running a fever. That’s a clear indication that you are
not
getting better.”

   “Just give me one more day before you all go risk your lives to save me.”

   Walt cut in. “Jenny, if we wait until tomorrow and he’s worse, could it mean we missed our chance to help him because we waited too long?”

   “Yes, it could.”

   “Well I’m ready to go right now. I’m not chancing that.” He turned to Veronica and Allen. “Maybe you two should stay behind.”

   Jenny and I both agreed, she said “It’s our choice to risk ourselves for you, Brian. We’re going.”

   Allen put down a large box of canned food and approached Jenny. I could see that his equally tall and wide stature was somewhat intimidating to her. She tightened her grip on the M4 and took the smallest of steps backward. She was ready to react before Allen could even blink, let alone try to harm her.

   “I know you don’t trust us, but it sounds like you’ll need another gun in that hospital. I can shoot, and one more person could make a real difference.”

   Jenny was hesitant, but I was convinced we could trust them. Especially since Allen was given the opportunity to remain here and steal some of the supplies and guns using the other car we’d leave behind in case they needed it.

   There was also one very important aspect of him that let me know he was willing to risk his life for others. He’s living with the guilt of being forced to kill his own wife to save his sister. I knew from my own guilt that it just makes a person want to fight even harder to atone for their mistakes.

   “Jenny, I trust him. We need them.”

   “We all trusted Naya too, James.”

   “Why would he volunteer to go? They could just wait for us to leave and take off with the other car and half of our shit. His want to help us is obviously genuine…. And again, we need as many guns around as possible.”

   Jenny’s eyes suggested she was still skeptical. She looked Allen up and down, then looked off to the side for a few moments and mumbled something to herself that escaped my ears. She turned to Veronica. “Can you shoot?”

   Veronica’s eyes widened. Her delicate features hardened from the fear brought about by the idea of having to run in a hospital that could possibly be packed with shredders. “I, I’ve never even held a gun before.”

   Jenny shook her head. “She’s just as liable to shoot one of us… Once this is over, we’ll teach you.”

   “I don’t want to stay here by myself.”

   Walt said “We can’t leave her here alone… And Clara…”

   “So, what? We take two cars? That’ll just make everything more difficult.” Jenny pointed out.

   Fuck…

   Jenny looked up at Allen. “Sorry if you’re insulted, but” She turned to Walt. “I’m not leaving Clara with strangers… Allen goes, you stay.”

   I could instantly see an explosion of anger on Walt’s face as he began walking toward Jenny. He was just about to start arguing, but logic seemed to take over and tell him there was no other choice. He came to a stop, tightly gripped his face and groaned out “Fuck… I’ll stay.”

   “I know Walt. This is just the way it has to be.”

   Brian said “I don’t like this” through a shallow exhale.

   She ignored Brian and began trying to help him to his feet. Allen rushed over and assisted her. I told Walt to get Veronica a rifle anyway…
Melanie saved him that night and she didn’t have any experience shooting either…

  
After they helped Brian into the car, Allen went back inside to have a few words with Veronica before we left. Once he was out of sight, Jenny whispered in my ear “He sits upfront with me. You sit behind him and keep that 9mm I gave you pointed at the back of the seat.”

   “I will.”
Can’t blame her for being so paranoid. Hopefully, she wrong…