Trying to Survive (Part 3) (10 page)

   I picked up the pill bottle. “Yeah, you have a point… The human mind is definitely capable of that. You can see it in countless different social customs and beliefs… But, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about any of that shit for a long time. These antibiotics are supposed to be the strongest made.”

   “We’ll see.”

   Jenny came back in with several different vials, pill bottles, more needles and a small tube of cream. “I have to put this cream on, then I need you to sit up again so you can take some pills. I need to try and lower the fever and the inflammation… In a little while I’ll induce sleep so you can get some rest and really heal.”

   Jenny tried gently rubbing the cream on the bite wound, but it still caused him a great deal of pain, so she just finished as quickly as possible. As we helped Brian sit up, he said “I asked James if you think I’m gonna die. I think he was bullshittin me when he said no.”

   “I don’t know to think, Brian… And it doesn’t matter. All that’s worth thinking about are ways to help you at the moment.”

   He smirked “Convincing.”

   “Shut up and swallow these… Ass.”

   “You’re gonna call a dying man mean names?” He said, jokingly portraying to have had his feelings hurt.

   “You’re not dying yet.”

   The growl of someone’s stomach loudly sounded out. Jenny and I both looked at each other, and Brian said “I didn’t feel like eating when I woke up.”

   I headed out of the room. “I’ll get you something from the trunk.”

   When I was about halfway to the lobby, his voice echoed down the hall “Doritos! Cooler Ranch!” It was then followed by Jenny angrily demanding that I find something somewhat healthy. I could hear them bickering and her giving him a hard time until I made it past the front counter.

   As I threw aside doughnuts, chips, candy and other junk food, attempting to find something healthy, I couldn’t help but think about Jenny…
If Brian dies, it means Jenny’s lost everyone she started out with. Including the man Brian mentioned she was engaged to… I guess she’s such a strong person I forget what she’s been through.

   Of course, the thought of Brian succumbing to the infection was devastating… But the harsh truth is that the dead are dead. They don’t feel anymore. They can’t shed tears or spend their nights chasing sleep. They’re free from this hell and the never-ending sadness that it’s brought about. From all the horrible things those left alive will experience in the near future.

   It’s the people they leave behind who have to continue on and suffer.

Chapter 12

   By the time Allen returned with the others, Brian was fast asleep and Jenny was convinced that his fever had already started to calm down. It may just be wishful thinking on my part, but I truly felt that I was able to pick up a bit of optimism in her voice for the first time since he was injured.

   A small group of enthusiastic shredders had managed to follow the cars. My anger with possibly facing another death made it so I was happy to go outside and help Walt take care of them while Allen made sure Veronica and Clara got in the building safely.

   After shooting three of them, I still didn’t feel satisfied. There was one more clumsily running at us, and as Walt was about to fire I told him to stop. I turned my rifle around and began walking toward it.

   Walt said “What the fuck are you doing?”

   When the shredder saw me approaching, a surge of energy went through its body and allowed it to speed up. I got the rifle in position, built up momentum and struck it in the head with the stock when we were almost face to face.

   I hesitated for a moment as I truly studied what used to be a young man. It was almost as if I was standing over a mirror that presented the image of what I would look like if I turned… If my eyes changed to the hypnotic amber.

   I heard Walt yelling for me, but my mind turned it into nothing more than a dulled whisper. Something came over me and I began slamming the stock of the rifle down on its head with everything I had. The second strike cracked its skull and shot blood all over my shoes. I just kept going until its head was nothing more than a mangled pile of skin, bone, hair and pieces of its brain swimming in blood.

   Even after the butt of the rifle began to hit the concrete, I still kept going. I wanted to make sure there was nothing left of that face. That I’d never see myself as one of them again.

   When Walt finally pulled me away I was in daze. My breathing was frantic and I was actually seeing little white specks of light floating around in front of my face. Knowing I lost control of myself only brought me closer to feeling what it would be like to turn.

   “James, what the hell is wrong with you!? Snap out of it!” Walt said as he shook my shoulders.

   “I’m fine.” I muttered while still looking down at the mess I’d made.

   When I turned around to head back, Allen, Veronica and Clara were all by the front entrance staring at me. Allen and Clara’s expressions remained stone cold, but Veronica was looking at me as if I was just as monstrous as one of the shredders.

   I didn’t care if they understood why I felt the need to do it
… It worked…
I just looked to the ground as I walked across the parking lot, trying to ignore the feeling of their eyes on me as I passed them and headed back to Jenny and Brian.

   Jenny’s face was buried in her hands when I turned into the room. She jerked her head up when the sounds of my footsteps finally broke through her blockade of deep thought. The small spark of optimism I sensed just a little while ago had already vanished.

   “I just checked the wound. It’s getting worse, not better… The pills are just holding the fever at bay. They’ll stop working soon.”

   “Jenny, it’s only been a few hours since you started him on the medication.”

   She reached over and peeled away his bandage. Strings and globs of a mixture of puss and clear fluid pulled away with it…
It hasn’t even been that long since we last looked…

   “It’ll be really bad by the morning, or whenever he wakes up… I’d just keep inducing sleep if he only needed injections, but I need him to take some pills too. If it’s going to start getting better we’ll see signs of it by the end of tomorrow.”

   Allen’s voice came from behind me. “How is he?”

   “We don’t really know yet.” I replied as Walt and the others entered the room.

   Jenny said “Not good at the moment. I put him to sleep.”

   “Is he going to die?” Clara bluntly asked.

   Before Jenny could answer, I said “We don’t know.”

   Clara nudged past Veronica and sat in one of the chairs facing the bed. She studied Jenny’s bleak expression for a few moments, then sat back and fixed her gaze on Brian.

   When I glanced over at Walt, he tilted his head, motioning out into the hall. I followed him until he stopped and said “What are we going to do about the entrance? It’s just a big gaping hole now. They can walk right in.”

   “Now that I think about it, we should go check the parking lot again anyway. A few more may have been drawn to the noise. Then we’ll look around for something to block it off with.”

   As we walked down the long hall, avoiding or stepping over all the dread shredders, I said “We should get rid of these bodies too.”

   “Couldn’t the smell draw them in?”

   “We’ll put them all in the last room at the end of the other hallway. Hopefully it’ll lock in the smell.”

   “We can stuff towels under the door or something if we have to.”

   I cautiously walked outside and thoroughly checked the area. It wasn’t long before I spotted one by some trees near the road. Walt said “The noise drew it in, it just didn’t make it all the way before it lost interest… It might come this way once the sun goes down.”

   “Kill it. And we’ll wait around for about ten minutes to make sure more don’t show up. Then we’ll take care of those bodies and find a way to close this place up.”

   Walt raised his rifle and said “Whether Brian survives or not… We should tell them we aren’t going all the way to D.C.” Before I could answer, he fired and missed. “Fuckin things sway around like drunks.” He quickly fired again and it collapsed.

   “I still don’t know what to think about all that. It seems like no matter what we do, people die… We’ll always have to go out for food and risk getting killed. We have to keep moving, so we might as well keep going and looking for survivors.”

   “We’re losing people faster than we’re gaining them… That one guy didn’t even last ten minutes. Yeah, Clara shot him, but you know what I mean.” Walt derisively remarked.

   “Can’t argue with that.”

   He turned to me and flung his rifle around to his back. “Maybe if we actually stayed here for a few weeks, some people might pass through… Sometimes the best way to hunt is to wait for them to find you.”

   “True… but it’s not safe here. Thousands of shredders are less than a quarter mile down that road. At least some of them will eventually start wandering over here at night... All it takes is for a few to come around when it’s dark and force us to fire shots. Hundreds of them could be here in about a minute.”

   “Yeah. We need to find a two story building with a door we can easily block off, and very few windows.”

   “Yeah.”

   Walt leaned back against one of the pillars holding up the small roof hanging past the front of the building. “So, how’s your leg? I notice you seem to be walking pretty normally.”

   “It’s a lot better. Steps are still a little difficult, and I’m sure running at full speed would hurt, but overall it’s pretty good… I don’t feel like a useless fuck anymore.”

   Walt pushed away from the wall. “Well, how about you spend another five minutes out here? I’ll get a head start on moving those bodies so your leg doesn’t get overworked.”

   “Don’t worry about it, just relax... It’s pretty easy to drag bodies across waxed tile floors.”

   “Apocalypse tip number 37.” Walt remarked sarcastically.

   “Yeah.” I said through a chuckle.

   As I looked over the parking lot and a new SUV came into sight, I said “It’s not gonna be fun, but we need to search all the bodies and collect their car keys. Find any purses lying around too. I see several SUVs that would be perfect for us.”

   Allen must have heard my last statement on his way out to join us. “I’ll help you guys out. I was thinking the same thing… It’s safer if we’re all in one car.” He pointed to a medium sized, red SUV to the far left. “I used to own one of those. Believe it or not, it fits eight people pretty comfortably, and gets damn good gas mileage.”

   “Hopefully, we’ll find the key for it.”

   Allen approached Walt. “Did you tell him?”

   Walt excitably smacked himself on the side of the head. “Oh yeah, I forgot. While you guys were gone, Veronica actually got Clara to talk to her. It wasn’t anything major, but Clara actually responded to her four or five times.”

   “That’s good to hear… I think she just needs more time... No amount of talking can undo what’s happened.” Saying it made me think of Allen having to kill his own wife after she turned. I couldn’t help but look over at him. I must have made a pitying expression, or done something that gave away the fact that Veronica told me his story without him knowing.

   “She told you?”

   I sighed “She just wanted to help get us to trust you.”

   Allen shook his head and pushed down the edges of his mouth. “Oh, I’m not mad or anything. It’s just hard for me to talk about… To be honest, I’m pretty glad she told you.”

   Walt’s face turned questioning as he looked at Allen and then panned back to me. I said “I think she only told me and Jenny.”

   “What are you guys talking about?” Walt said as he took a few steps closer.

   I was going to tell him to just let it go, but Allen began explaining himself without hesitation. “My sister was over for dinner the night people started to turn. That’s why we’re together… My wife suddenly attacked her, and when I grabbed her and pushed her away… The staircase leading downstairs was just a few feet away from the dining room table. The only reason we’re alive is because the fall broke her neck. Otherwise we would have been trapped inside with her.”

   “I didn’t mean to pry. I’m sorry.”

   “It’s okay…. It’s strange, but it already feels like that night was such a long time ago. I was really angry with myself until recently.” He sighed and walked out into the dwindling sunlight. “I just try to focus on the fact that I saved my sister… I could have nothing left at all. Or even worse, be one of those things.”

   Allen turned back to us. “Let’s get those bodies moved, we’ve seen enough death. We don’t need it decorating the whole place.”

  
Still won’t get rid of all the blood…

Chapter 13

   Walt and the others were fortunate enough to find five flashlights and more than a few packs of batteries in the small store. It was nice to know we wouldn’t all be sitting around in the pitch-black that comes hours before any of us actually get tired.

   Due to our conservative food rationing, moving all of the bodies to the furthest room at the end of the second hall was close to exhausting, so we left it at that for the day. We formed a rather large pile of car keys on the front desk, so there was a good chance we’d end up with one of the SUVs.

   For whatever reason, I found the need to count all the bodies as we piled them in the small room. Thirty-seven. I still hated to look at them after they were dead. I thought I’d be over it by now, but I couldn’t help but see them as human again once they stopped moving. I found myself wishing they were nothing more than bones covered in rotting flesh like the ones you see on TV… It would make things so much easier. It might even help with the nightmares.

   Brian was still sleeping. Jenny was checking his wound at least twice an hour – never suggesting there was any change. They were all just sitting around taking turns staring at Brian and then each other. Jenny acted as a monk who’d taken a vow of silence, and the others periodically asked meaningless and unanswerable questions.

   I didn’t even really feel like smoking a cigarette. I just had to get the hell out of that room for a little while.

   It was comforting to get a break from the heat at night, and the days weren’t anywhere near as unbearable as in Florida. Even after moving all of the bodies, I could barely smell myself through the deodorant and new shirt.

   We scoured the whole hospital and never found anything heavy or large enough to block off the front doors. Moving Brian wasn’t an option, so all we could do was agree to take four hour shifts until the sun came up. I took it upon myself to volunteer for the first one since it takes me forever to force myself to sleep.

   Clara’s footsteps were so light that I didn’t hear them until the crunching of glass by the front entrance gave her away.

   “You okay?”
What the hell kind of question is that?… Idiot.

   “He seemed nice… Lee.”

   “Clara, you don’t have to.”

   She moved closer to me. “He was scared. Even though he was happy to find us, he was still really scared.” She looked up at me and I could see the tears starting to form. “I lied to you before… When I looked at him, I saw Naya and I just shot him.”

   Her breathing became shaky and she began choking on her own spit as she tried not to cry. Within seconds she’d grabbed onto me so she could sob into my shirt. “It’s not your fault Clara.”

   “But it is!”

   I gently pushed her away and kneeled down so we’d be face to face. I put my hands on her shoulders and said “Pain can change people. Turn them into something horrible… What’s important is that you fight it and hold on to yourself.”

   I feigned a half-smile. “I’ve already seen you overcome so much pain. I know you’re strong enough, Clara.”

   She wiped her face and nodded. She’d stopped crying, but her whole face twisted and strained as she tried to keep the tears from returning in full force.

   “You need to talk to us. You need to get to know Allen and Veronica… They don’t even know you and they already care about you. They’re good people. We can all help you. You just need to let us.”

   “I will.” Clara said as she sat down and leaned back against the wall. After a few moments of silence, she bleakly remarked “Jenny thinks Brian’s going to die.”

   My jaw clenched tightly before I said “Did she say something?”

   “No. I can just tell by looking at her.”

   It was starting to get dark enough to where a pack of them could be a hundred feet away and I’d have no idea they were coming until it was too late. And at this point, it was pretty obvious the change that took place in their eyes enabled them to see perfectly at night.

   “We should get back inside.” I said as I reached out to help her up. “It’ll be completely dark soon.”

   When we walked back in the room, Jenny and Walt where attempting to rouse Brian. Jenny said “It’s the painkillers combined with the sleeping pills. He’ll be really out of it, but I need him to take a few pills and another injection.”

   She began lightly tapping on Brian’s right check and calling his name. It took about twenty seconds, but he eventually came to. He was trying to speak but badly slurring his words, and his eyes kept easing closed.

   We sat him up and Jenny lightly tapped his face several more times. He was pretty trashed, but he was lucid enough to know he was thirsty, so he gladly took the pills along with several large gulps of water. Walt and I held him up so his back wouldn’t lean against anything while Jenny gave him another injection of antibiotics.

   Walt said “And this is the strongest stuff you can get?”

   “Yeah, it’s generally used as a last resort when others aren’t strong enough.”

   “So, then he should be okay, right?” Walt said as we helped Brian back to his stomach.

   “Ask me again tomorrow.” Jenny softly replied.