Trouble finding Blondie (15 page)

“That was the difference between you and ‘regular pregnant.’ Your happiness, it was like you had an endless smile, endless energy.”

“That’s exactly what I felt, Oli. Not tired, not fat and ugly, but voluptuous and beautiful.”

“Ok. I’ll buy all of that, and for the record, I hate that I’m the only one who has no clue what you all are talking about. But…."

Naomi walked over to Andre and gave him a hug.

“Thank you, Naomi.”

“What’s the but?”

“....but you had to get big in your last months. Every woman does.”

Andre was looking at Simona, wanting an answer straight from the source, not from the admirers around the table.

“I was busy in a million different directions. I was burning more than I could consume. I really didn’t gain much extra weight. It was all going into the baby.”

“To a point that Lucas, her doctor, was telling her she needed to start putting more weight on because she was going to have a five pound baby. Dangerously low birth weight, with possible health issues.”

“Are you kidding me? You couldn’t tie her down and make her eat?”

Jacques laughed, “It’s your woman, Andre. Did you ever try to tie her down?”

“Very funny. All of you,” Simona said. “I think you missed the part when I said I ate non-stop.”

“No, he was referring to the part where after all your high heels nonsense all day, you got into sneakers and went to walk with weights, burning more.” Philippe as usual was adding to the fire.

“That was necessary for my mental stress relief, not for burning calories.”

“So let me sum it up for you, Andre: the person I had to deal with and the stuff you missed,” Philippe continued… “Her due date was December 6th, right? So, she booked herself a meeting, a book signing, and a business interview with Daily News for November 11th in New York, secretly planning to spend Thanksgiving with her boys in Hawaii.”

“What? You can’t fly after seven months on international flights.” Naomi was protesting.

“Ooooh, but Superwoman had different ideas. She told Lucas she was going to London for a quick trip and needed a note. Just in case the airline questioned her.”

“Hahaha. That is how you found out?” Jacques and Olivier were fully entertained.

“I wasn’t lying. I was going to London.” Simona protested.

“Yes, you just forgot to finish the rest of the itinerary.”

“Look. I was feeling well. My check up didn’t show anything wrong with the pregnancy. I still had four weeks to go. I was smart enough to know I can’t have super long flights, so I broke it up with layovers.”

“Really smart. You were nine months pregnant. Everybody knows it’s crazy to fly at that altitude. No airline would let you on board. You simply fooled them.”

“Yes, and you had to ruin it.” Simona was staring at Philippe with a steam, like it was yesterday.

“I can’t believe you are still mad at me, instead of being grateful.”

“Will one of you finish the story, please?”
 

“She clearly didn’t look nine months pregnant. And with all her flirting, nobody was looking at her belly anyway.”

“Flirting my ass! Let me finish the story. I’m fully boarded, situated in my fabulous 5A window seat, headphones on, snacks, juice, looking through the movies, when someone in a different uniform walks over to the stewardess, whispering something, looking at me. I knew it was Philippe because he was being super weird for the past few days.”

“And as a classic case of Madame Simona, she gets out of it. Telling them some bollocks story about a jealous boyfriend and producing the magic note from her doctor.”

“I thought that was a close call. I assumed it was settled, and so I went back to my comfortable position.”

“Then the director of operations calls me back and says, ‘Mr. Bouchard, everything is fine. You were mistaken. The lady is not so far in her pregnancy, and she holds a doctor’s note to prove it. You can relax. Everything is under control.’ I was fuming, picturing her winning smile. I completely lost it on the poor guy, screaming at him, threatening to ruin his airline, clear lunatic signs all over. I hung up. Called my secretary to get the CEO of the airline on the phone. I explained who I was and told him that my nine months pregnant future wife is on his plane close to departure, and if he doesn’t want her to go into labor midair, turning back half way through the Atlantic, he will get her off the plane. Then I had no choice but to call the first guy back, apologize to him, and explain that he needs to stall the plane because his CEO is calling his boss, and the woman needs to be escorted to the private terminal. If he can’t get her luggage off, we will pick it up in New York, no big deal.”

“Holy moly, do the two of you have any boring stories?”

“Did you get off the plane?”

“Yes, Maurice, I got off the God damn plane. Putting my heels back on, pissed off.”

“Oh, no, no, no. Pissed off is putting it mildly. She didn’t even look at me until we were over Greenland. And it wasn’t a good look,” Philippe was smiling.
 

“Wait, so you still flew to NY?” Andre asked.
 

“Yes, but the small planes fly much lower; the altitude is the danger. And I brought a delivery nurse on board, just in case.”

“So did you make it to Hawaii, or was Francois born in New York?” Herve was curious.

“No, after five days in New York, we flew to San Francisco on the 16th. We were supposed to have a two day layover there, and then finish the last leg to Hawaii.”

“Hold on. How did you find out in the first place if she didn’t tell you? From Lucas?”

“He called Interpol to check all the airlines. Pretty sure I was on the terrorist list, too.”

“Very funny. While she was being transported to the private terminal, I called Lucas and fumed some more, dropping ‘f-bombs’ and calling him an idiot. It took me a minute or so to realize that he had no clue either.”

“So, where and who delivered Francois?” Naomi was demanding and answer.

“It happened in San Francisco. The trip and ‘New York crazy’ took a toll on Simona. She finally relaxed, and her body started shutting down.”

“How typical. Same shit. Story of your life. Always pushing too much,” Andre couldn’t help himself to went his frustration.

“Well, you will be happy to know that I had a similar dog, barking the same shit next to me. You two must have gone to school together.”

Philippe and Andre exchanged smiles and cheers, while Simona was rolling her eyes and everyone was shaking their heads.
 

Simona continued, “I have to say, Philippe outdid himself, as usual. He rented a beautiful house in the vineyards, hired a nanny, who was a Godsend, and we had a small version of Madame Bonnet, as well. He had to go back to Paris but came back for Thanksgiving. He flew the boys and everyone over to spend three days together. It was amazing. My best Thanksgiving ever. And I will be eternally grateful for that.” Simona blew a kiss to Philippe who pretended to catch it.

“So, you moved from one winery to another,” Manon concluded.

“Pretty much. Which was super evil, too. Being surrounded by all the wine, not able to taste it.”

8

"WENT TO HELL AND BACK. WELCOME BACK."

SUNDAY WAS THE departure day. Simona didn’t like the energy of people packing and leaving. She always left, but then came back for the coffee and dessert tradition. Madame Bonnet created everyone’s favorite desserts. It seemed as if they were never the same. She was an amazing pastry chef.
 

Francois was taking his afternoon nap in his stroller, and Simona was reading on the blanket. Andre was looking for them everywhere. Then he remembered the first day when she was down by the pond.

“Here you are.”

“Hey. You look refreshed. Nice siesta?”

“The siesta was fabulous, but please don’t leave me like this again.”
“What? What’s going on? Are you upset?”
“I think I developed an anxiety. I had this overwhelming feeling of losing you again. It’s like a nightmare.”

“Oh, my God. I’m sorry, I don’t like the packing and stuff. I guess it’s my sore thing, seeing people leave.”

“Oli told me that. But he said you always come up for the 4 PM dessert and coffee.”

“Yes, that’s true. The coffee aroma and sugar are the perfect combination for a mood lift. It was Philippe’s idea, to always say good bye with sweets. His philosophy is that you can’t be sad when you are digging into a pie.”

“I love that. The back kitchen was on a complete shut-down. I couldn’t even peek.”

“That’s right. I forgot about that.”

“Blondie, yesterday was a long day. I know I fell asleep, but I wanted to tell you that I was incredibly sad to have missed you being pregnant.”

“Don’t listen to them. They are all exaggerating.”

Simona came closer to Andre and kissed him like she wanted to make it up to him.

“I know they are not, and I can totally picture you. I’m just sad I missed it.”

“It was a perfect storm, Andre. Despite my broken heart, I focused on my miracle gifts. I had your baby in me, my other baby in print, and my big boys happy in European schools. Arye was in Barcelona playing soccer, Cori was in London, and I was living in Paris. My dreams were not just coming true; they were overwhelming and beyond my imagination.”

“So, what happened to your life motto? ‘When it’s too good to be true, it’s too good to be true.’”

“As I said it yesterday, it was a choice. And I decided that I was not going to start rehearsing tragedy or a loss. I was going to fully ride the wave and enjoy every minute of it. And I have to say that I did.”

“Well, apparently it showed, and you were spreading it around.”

“It was a blessing, a gift from God. I had no other choice but to pass it around.”

“I still want to see you pregnant, Blondie. Are you game?”

“I would love to...”

“But? There is a ‘but’, right? What is it?”

“Well, I had a very complicated birth. I almost died. Philippe still can’t talk about it. It scared, and probably scarred, him for life.”

“What???”

“He flew over my old doctor from Hawaii, who doesn’t deliver anymore, to be there for me. He was flying Lucas over, too, but he was afraid he wouldn’t make it on time. It was the combination of the two that saved my life, but I can’t have any more children, Andre.”

Andre was trying to process the sad news, but the picture of Simona being dead was too much to bare. He pulled her closer, hugged her, and dropped kisses on her hair, like when you are trying to calm somebody down. Except that he was trying to calm himself. All he was feeling was anxiety.

Simona pulled away to look at him and sat up. Andre sat up, too. He couldn’t hold his emotions anymore. Simona pulled herself closer, sitting right across from him, wrapping her legs around him in a hug.

“Shhhhhh, I’m ok… Francois is fine. Everything turned out fine in the end.” It took a few minutes until he calmed down. Simona was still hugging him, wiping his tears.

“What happened?”

“Well, the short version is, Francois has your blood type, B positive. He was fighting my 0 negative.”

“But you knew that in advance, no?”

“Well, we knew that there was a chance. You can’t tell for sure if the baby has his mother’s or father’s blood. I told the doctors you were RH factor positive. I had the necessary shots for the counter-attack, but it just got freaky. It wasn’t him who was in distress. It was me.”

“Did you have to have a C-section then?”

“No, the labor was fine. I didn’t have any drugs. I was ok until a crazy pain in my back showed up, usually a sign of ‘back labor’ and baby’s wrong positioning. Dr. Inouye was officially my doula, which is like a midwife, who can be allowed in the room. Lucas didn’t have official privileges either, something to do with the law and insurance. They were still dealing with that when I went into labor. The staff just said let’s ignore the paperwork. You can go ahead, but we have to have one of our doctors there, too. So basically, I had two amazingly experienced obstetrician surgeons and one young ambitious lady from the San Francisco hospital.”

“With all these people in there, how could you go into distress?”

“Well, the pain was crazy. They looked at each other as if it wasn’t normal. I didn’t want any drugs. I kept saying I could handle it. I was standing there and suddenly started hemorrhaging.”

“What is that?”

“Well, in layman’s terms, bleeding too much.”

“Wait, are you not supposed to bleed during labor?”

“Well, not that much. I had gushing blood coming out of me standing, which was my body shrieking something was wrong.”

“Then what?”

“Well, unfortunately like many things in my life, another Perfect storm. My body was saying it couldn’t handle whatever is going on, and I passed out. It’s apparently the body’s survival mechanism to restore energy. In the meantime, the doctors started their rescue mission. First they needed to get Francois out. The fastest way was vaginally, so they woke me up, made me push. I was just listening to the commands. I remember Dr. Inouye telling me something about her hand going in, and she was going to rotate him, or something. I clearly did not comprehend what she was saying, I just felt like someone was ripping my insides.”