Treasure Yourself (9 page)

the moment, you also run the risk of forgetting why you are doing what you do in the first place!

Ultimately, the more I think about it, living is not about doing but is more about ‘being’ – For example,

when a less than ideal situation arises, instead of getting angry or upset, I ask myself ‘Who am I going to

be in this situation?’ In that moment I create the possibility of, for example ‘being’ peaceful, calm and

loving no matter what, and as a result I then get to choose how I react in any given situation. On the

contrary when I am ‘doing’ and I react from that standpoint, I am at the effect of the situation and at the

effect of everything happening around me. By choosing how I am going to ‘be’ no matter what life throws

at me, I get to live the life I choose.

It is also important to take time out to relax, appreciate and reflect.

When you are in a relaxed state of mind you are able to see things clearer, find a solution to that

problem you were mulling over and even just reaffirm where you are and where you want to be. When

you are calm, relaxed and peaceful, you get back in touch with who you are.

When I need to relax, music can completely change the way I feel and the mood I’m in. I dance and sing

around the house or in my hotel room. I love losing myself in music and giving myself the opportunity to

completely switch off and think about nothing else. It is like a moving meditation. Another thing I enjoy is

being with nature. Whenever I can I spend time barefoot and on the grass or just resting against a tree.

These small moments help me balance and reconnect with the greater energies in nature, giving me a

sense of my place in the world.

My tips for getting balance in your life:

– Pamper yourself and get a massage or take a bath.

– Spend time with your pets.

– Spend time in nature: at parks, beaches or just in the garden. Take your shoes off and connect with

Mother Nature.

– Make sure you get enough sleep during the night. Otherwise take a short power nap during the day.

– Meditate or sit quietly, just focusing on your breath for 20 minutes.

– Do some exercise! Exercise is a great way to release endorphins, feel-good chemicals in the body

that reduces stress.

– Be productive. Make a list of the things you have to do for the day and organise the list by

importance. In this way you can take care of things before they become a problem.

Living in the moment… When you are feeling balanced you’ll find that you are also centred on the

present moment. This is something I believe is invaluable if you want to be more relaxed and in control of

your life. When some people think about being in the present moment they might jump to the conclusion

that you have to be passive and forget your goals, the past and the future – but this is not the case. Living

in the moment is letting go of all that stress and worry that you have accumulated and not projecting those

negative emotions on your future actions. It’s more about working actively towards your goals and dreams

without constantly stressing about how you are going to achieve them or replaying past mistakes in your

head. In this way, we don’t judge the moment we are in but accept it for what it is.

This is something that really works for me. It would be very easy for me to remember all the times I

have made mistakes in the past and let it affect the job I am doing in the present, especially when it comes

to modelling, because if you are constantly worried and stressed on a job it shows! Making an effort to be

completely in the present helps me to focus my attention on the task ahead without letting my negative

emotions influence the way I behave.

Every moment that we enter is like a blank canvas; it’s our emotions and thoughts that colour what we

see. When you are in the present moment it’s easier to accept the reality of the situation that you are in.

When you embrace the way things are in the moment, you start the process of change, and you allow new

possibilities to emerge.

Getting Personal:

– Is your life in balance?

– What do you need to let go of to become more balanced?

– How can you create more balance?

the green-eyed monster…

Jealousy can be a powerful emotion if it is given the opportunity to spiral out of control. You won’t be

able to slay this monster with a traditional sword and shield and you definitely can’t close your eyes and

hope it goes away. At some point everyone has experienced jealousy and envy, and it doesn’t feel good.

My transient and hectic lifestyle can often cause me to feel insecure and unsure of myself. If I don’t find

ways of grounding myself it’s easy to get caught up in hurtful games. I choose not to get involved if I feel

someone is encouraging such negative feelings. Of course it’s not always easy and I try to be mindful

about my responses. Like everybody, I too have had my bouts of jealousy throughout my life. Once when

my boyfriend at the time told me he preferred blondes I literally took that to heart and every time I saw

him talking to a blonde I got really jealous and upset. This concerned me as I didn’t want to be jealous, so

I took a look within. I saw that I wasn’t being powerful in how I was reacting. I realised that if he wanted

to be with a blonde he would be with a blonde but he chose me. I decided to trust and appreciate our

relationship and my own uniqueness.

Practising yoga and meditation, which helps create balance internally, gives me a sense of happiness

within myself. Now if I ever feel a twinge of jealousy I take a deep breath and really be with those

feelings. Once you accept those feelings and sit with them, I find they generally pass. If that doesn’t work I

put my thoughts and feelings on paper as openly and honestly as I can. This gives me the opportunity to

see my thoughts in black and white, release whatever I was thinking about and bring myself back into

balance.

I believe jealousy is all about negative power and attention. The core of jealousy is inadequacy.

Jealousy is present when our sense of self is put at risk. When we feel this emotion it is akin to having an

identity crisis and it is a calling within us to better ourselves. I believe that all our emotions are there to

show us who we are and jealousy is no exception. If you are truly comfortable in your own skin and

confident in your own abilities you can transform jealousy into acceptance.

Jealousy is not the same as healthy competition. When it comes to sport or business success, healthy

competition can motivate and push you to achieve your goals. But when it comes to being competitive

about looking better, dressing better or sounding better than someone else, I take a step back. I think those

sorts of games bring out the worst in yourself and other people and only encourage the games to keep

going on. I use this affirmation to help me avoid getting caught up: ‘I allow people to be what they want to

be. I accept and love others unconditionally.’

It is important to remind ourselves that we are all perfect exactly the way we are. We all have strengths

and weaknesses and we also have all the resources we need to improve ourselves. We have the

responsibility to ourselves to discover what makes us distinctive and to further develop our talents. It

doesn’t help to wait for the approval of others to feel good. Work on accepting yourself as you are and

become the best version of you that you can be.

We are all unique flowers in this garden of life. We need to embrace our uniqueness and not compare