Transcendence (37 page)

“
Hoh!”

I sit up quickly, the shock of my mate’s actions causing my body to react almost violently.

Beh has my penis in her mouth.

In her
mouth
!

I can’t put a baby in there!

Beh’s hands rest on my stomach and thigh as she leans over me, and her mouth engulfs half of my length before she moves back up. Her tongue runs over the tip, and then she goes back down again. At first, I want to push her away, but the confusion over why she would do such a thing halts my movements just long enough to
feel
.

Her mouth is warm and wet, and her tongue strokes down the sensitive line on the underside of my penis.

“
Beh…”

Her eyes look to mine as she hears her name-sound, and I see them sparkle with playfulness as well as desire. My hand reaches out and touches the side of her head, pushing strands of her hair out of the way as I watch her move back down again.

I am caught in the sight and the sensations. Even though my mind cannot understand why she would consider doing this to me, I am not going to stop her.

Definitely not.

Her mouth moves up again, and her lips caress my hard flesh as she wraps them around me. As I watch, her cheeks hollow, and I suddenly feel more of my length being pulled into her mouth by the suction.

“
Hoh!
Hoh
!” My breath comes out in short gasps as my legs tense, throb, and shudder. My hips buck upwards—pushing my penis farther into Beh’s mouth as I feel my seed follow the sensations of my climax.

Beh’s eyes widen slightly and then close as her throat bobs. She pulls back, releasing me and sits back on her knees.

With my own eyes wide, I reach over and bring her face close to me, my eyes dancing between hers to try to understand what would have caused her to do such a thing—and how I could get her to do it again. I examine her smirking face and realize she seems…
proud
.

Closing my eyes, I lean forward and drag the end of my nose from the tip of her nose all the way up to her forehead and then back down. When I look at Beh again, she is still smiling, and it makes me feel warm inside despite the chill inside the cave.

“
Khizz,” I whisper, and she brings her mouth to meet mine. She tastes strange, and at first I pull away, confused. I quickly realize it is my seed I taste on her and press my lips to hers again. My tongue reaches into her mouth, and I consider the strange saltiness. It makes me wonder:
What would she taste like?

I reach for Beh’s hips and quickly lift and turn her to lie her down on the furs. She lets out a short squeal of surprise but quiets herself with a glance toward our sleeping Lah. I place my lips on her once more and then slide my hands down the sides of her body as I move myself downwards as well.

I take her legs in my hands and push them up and to the sides. I can see her opening there though my penis isn’t ready to respond just yet. That’s not my plan, anyway. I lay down between her legs, propping myself up on my elbows as I glance up at Beh’s face.

It’s flushed and beautiful.

Moving closer to her core, I first touch the tip with the end of my nose, inhaling her scent before I reach out with my tongue to find that place that is so sensitive. Beh’s body reacts immediately, and her hips buck. I can’t keep up with her movements, so I wrap my arms around her thighs and hips and hold her to the furs.

My tongue finds her again, swirling first around the little bud at the top of her folds and then lower to explore the folds themselves. The taste is not unlike the taste of her mouth had just been but somewhat more subtle. Her flesh is incredibly smooth on my tongue, and I can’t help but taste inside of her as well.

This also causes her to jump, and I have to hold her down some more, which makes her moan too loudly. I still as I hear Lah stir in her own furs not so far from us. I glance at Beh, who now has one hand over her mouth. She uses the other to push me from her hips, and she rolls over to reach for Lah.

After stroking the child’s cheek a few times, Lah has settled back into sleep.

I sigh in relief.

A moment later, Beh is on her knees in front of me, pushing me to my back. I want to protest, but I am also hoping maybe she will either put my penis back in her mouth or even inside of her to try to make another baby, so I allow her to maneuver me to a supine position.

The next thing I know, she is straddling my chest backwards. She leans over, and I feel her warm breath near my groin again. At the same time, she shifts closer to me, and I realize what she wants.

My hands grab for her backside and thighs and I bring her folds to my mouth again. She moans, but this time the sound is stifled as she wraps her lips around my semi-erect penis. I groan against her flesh, humming into her, and I can feel her legs tense around my head. She moans as well, which sends vibrations through my length and into the rest of my body and further hardens my penis.

My tongue works up and down her, trying to follow similar motions my fingers have used in the past to bring her pleasure. Beh hums and moans around my penis at the same time, and I can hardly cope with the dual sensations. When she begins to suck, I know I can’t last much longer.

My tongue works furiously against her little nub—stroking and circling—and Beh pushes her hips into my face as she rocks back and forth over me. The tip of my penis hits the back of her throat as I feel her body shudder around me. I can
feel
more than I can
hear
her cries, which brings me over the edge as well as my penis empties into her mouth again.

Beh rolls to her side in a heap next to my legs.

I force myself to pull my knees up, swing around, and wrap her in my arms. Her breath comes in short pants, and I can feel the beat of her heart against my chest. She makes a few soft noises as she strokes my cheek with her fingers, and I stroke her neck with my nose.

Finally, I recognize the positives of versatility.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Lah grows so quickly.

By the time winter is upon us, she holds her head up and looks around the room without assistance. She is fascinated with watching the fire and with her mother’s breasts, which are constantly large and round with milk. I can understand Lah’s interest, as I am quite fascinated with them myself. Aside from being much bigger, they are now more sensitive when I touch them, and since Beh finally allows me to put my penis in her again, I try to touch them all the time. It seems to make Beh think of making more babies or at least be willing to try to make another one.

After the first blizzard, the winter is mild with little snow, which makes it easier to get to the lake for water. Sometimes I go on my own, which worries me, but I want Lah to be kept warm, and it is still cold even without snow and ice coming from the sky.

Lah has not yet learned how to crawl around the cave, but as soon as she learned how to roll from her back to her front, she began to roll herself to get anywhere she wanted to be. I am afraid she will roll herself right into the fire, so I line the outside of the fire pit—far from the heat—with extra wood to keep her away from the flames.

Our daughter usually sleeps, wrapped in the furs with Beh and me in the night though she often naps in her own little pile of furs. I like those times, since Beh will usually let me touch her and try to put another baby in her then. Sometimes when I try to sleep, Lah will reach over and grab at my nose and make strange sounds, which causes Beh to laugh.

Beh always makes whatever sound Lah makes right after Lah makes the noise. I never considered before that Beh’s children would have some of her oddities, but I don’t mind. Well, except when it makes my head ache.

I head to the lake for fresh water, and Beh stays in the cave with Lah. There is only a dusting of snow left on the ground, and though there are no buds on the trees, I can feel the approach of spring in the air, and I’m glad for it. We have enough food for many more days, but our grains are gone and there are only nuts and tubers left to supplement the rabbits I find.

When I return from my lake trip, Beh is holding and rocking Lah in her arms with a worried look on her face. She immediately starts making loud and frightened noises, and I rush over to her and place the water skins on the ground by the fire. She says Lah’s name-sound many times, and her sounds are fast. Finally, she takes hold of my hand and places it over the baby’s head.

Lah is very warm to the touch, much warmer than she usually is, and she’s not even wrapped up in a fur. I help Beh wipe her down with cool water and then wrap her securely in rabbit fur. Lah begins to shiver, and I take her and her mother to the sleeping furs and secure them both in my embrace. The next morning, Lah’s lips are dry and cracked, and she has trouble latching onto Beh’s breast to feed.

Lah is sick.

We use the water from the skins to bathe our daughter to try to cool her skin, but it doesn’t work and quickly uses all our fresh water. Every day I must run back to the lake for more. I don’t want to leave Beh and Lah, but the snow is gone and there isn’t enough to melt. I run the entire way, and though my legs and chest hurt from the exertion, I don’t pause to rest. I just push forward all the way back to the cave.

Inside, Lah stays at her mother’s breast though she is too weak to suck. Her tiny face and body have been hot for days, and even using the cold water from the lake does not seem to help for long. Beh makes more and more noise and even seems somewhat frantic at times—like she is waiting for me to do something.

I don’t know what to do.

After building up the fire, I take both of them back to the sleeping furs and cover us all together. Beh hasn’t slept much, and she needs her strength. I take Lah from her and coax her into lying down and stroke Beh’s hair as she tries to sleep. Lah lies in my arms, silent and still. Her hot skin warms me, and it would feel pleasant in the cool air of the early morning if I didn’t understand that her fever had lasted too long. She isn’t getting better.

I understand as memories from the past consume me.

There were times when my mother had spent entire days just holding my baby sister, who had developed a fever only a season after her birth. Mother held her and rocked her, and father brought cold water, but it didn’t help—just like it isn’t helping with Lah. Mother pushed me away when I tried to get near, just as she did with my other brothers and sisters. In the end, when my baby sister stopped moving and breathing, father just held mother as she cried.

Lah stirs and lets out a tiny, weak cry. I pull her closer to my chest and run my nose over her cheek until she stills again. At least Beh remains asleep. I think she will need her strength even more soon. I glance at Beh’s face and picture her in my mind as my mother had been. I recall my father in his own grief as he tried to comfort her. My mind replaces my parents with me and Beh, and I think of myself holding Beh after…after…

I will have to put her in a deep hole and cover her up, so animals don’t get to her body.

I shudder, and my throat becomes tight and dry. I hold Lah closer to my chest and move slowly back and forth—rocking in time with my quiet sobs as the sun sets outside the cave. I lie beside my mate, keeping our daughter close to my chest and succumb to sleep.

It’s cool and dark in the middle of the night, and I am awakened suddenly.

Lah’s cries are weak, and I sit up immediately to reach for her, but Beh already has her in her arms. She holds her to her breast, but Lah will not take hold of her nipple. I try to help, but I don’t know how to get her to nurse. Tears run down Beh’s face as Lah’s cries grow quiet. She no longer has the strength to make sounds.

Crossing my legs on the furs, I pull Beh into my lap against my chest—wrapping my arms around them both. I reach for one of the furs and wrap us up together, and I desperately want to give comfort to my mate, but there is no comfort to be given. I rock slowly back and forth, but I find I am growing numb inside. Thinking about what I know is going to happen brings a pain to my chest that I cannot bear.

Soon, our daughter is going to die.

Through the day and night, I hold them both close to me as I watch the coals from the fire grow dim. It’s chilly in the cave, but knowing I can start a fire quickly with the little round thing keeps me from moving away from my family. I don’t want to let go of them, not even for a moment.

My eyes are burning as day begins to break, and warm light shines into the crack of the cave.

It is then I hear the strangest sound.

It almost sounds like a horde of insects right next to my face, but it’s far too loud. It’s so loud, it actually hurts my ears, and I tuck my head down into the space between Beh’s shoulder and neck, trying to cover up my ears. Beh is wriggling in my arms, and when I tighten my grip on both her and Lah, I feel Beh’s hand push against my chest as she tries to turn in my grasp.

The noise begins to wane, and I find myself with Lah’s warm body in my hands as Beh pushes out of my arms and gives the baby to me. I watch, dumbfounded, as Beh leaves the furs and runs toward the crack in the cave. A moment later I stand, wrap Lah in one of the furs, and follow my mate outside into the dim morning light.