Traitor (4 page)

Agent Vaughn cocked his head, considering. “So you’re driving a wedge between them. That might not be for the best. You could learn just as much from Bradley as you could from Sean. Do you think it would be possible to turn him around?”

“No,” I said definitively. “Not in a million years. He hates me. And the feeling is mutual.” I added. “In fact, he came to my house the night before last and threatened to kill me if I went to the cops. So, no. We aren’t going to buddy up any time soon.”

“Shit,” Agent Vaughn cursed under his breath. “We should have put a security detail on you.”

I looked at him coldly. “Yes, you should have. But I managed to talk him out of it. It seems that he won’t risk Sean’s wrath.” Then I sighed. “Besides, if you had arrested him, then this whole thing would have been blown and I wouldn’t have to opportunity to spy on the Westies.”

He regarded me seriously. “You’re a brave woman, Dr. Ellers,” he said.

“No,” I countered. “I’m just getting used to being threatened. And frankly, I’m finding it more annoying than terrifying by now.”

Agent Vaughn surprised me by chuckling. I had never imagined that he was capable of laughter; he always seemed so serious. “Then heaven help the Westies,” he smiled. “If anyone can do this, it’s you,” he assured me.

His faith in me bolstered my resolve. Not only would I take them down, but I would exonerate Sean in the process. I
was
doing the right thing. And for the first time, it didn’t feel like I was lying to myself.

“Now,” he continued, his expression sobering. “I believe I promised you that I would help you track down your parents’ killer.”

Hope welled within me. To finally know, after so many years…

“Yes,” I said eagerly.

He smiled broadly, revealing his perfect white teeth. I couldn’t deny that the effect was momentarily stunning. He had all-American good looks, with his strong, clean-shaven jaw, bright blue eyes, and perfectly styled dark blonde hair. I decided that I liked it when he smiled. This man was far more approachable that the mercenary FBI agent who had questioned me relentlessly.

“Come on,” he said. “We’re done in here. Let’s go somewhere more informal to talk. Do you like Chinese food?”

I returned his smile easily. “Yeah, sounds good.”

A few minutes later, we were sitting in his office, waiting for his co-worker to go on a food run to the nearby Chinese restaurant. Since I rarely cooked, I was no stranger to frozen dinners, and I only got take-out as a special treat. Chicken lo-mein was one of my favorites.

“I pulled your parents’ case file,” Agent Vaughn said, sliding a manila folder across his desk. I hesitated, unwilling to open it. I wasn’t sure if I could face it.

“Don’t worry,” he said gently. “I’ve removed the crime scene photos.”

I stared at the folder for a long moment, then I shook my head. The cold, clinical reports that I would find inside were too terrible to face. “I can’t,” I said tremulously. “Just tell me what it says.”

“Okay,” he said, a strange note in his voice warning me to brace myself. “They were both shot in the heart at close range. They died instantly.”

I flinched at hearing the horrible reality of it. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about my parents since the night they had died. Not even Sean. All I had told him and Bradley was that they were dead, but I had lied and said that it had been a car crash.

“They didn’t suffer,” Agent Vaughn assured me.

I blinked back the tears that were stinging the corners of my eyes. Was that supposed to be a comfort to me? Not that I wanted them to have suffered, but they shouldn’t be dead in the first place. And what about my suffering? What about the long years that I had spent with my foster family, with Marcus hurting me…?

No. I couldn’t think about that. That was all behind me. I didn’t care anymore. They couldn’t hurt me anymore. No one could. I had made sure of that.

No one except for Sean,
a small voice whispered to me. Yes, I was vulnerable to him; I couldn’t seem to help myself. But this was one thing that I could never trust him with. I would never tell him about my parents. That would give me away. Besides, I couldn’t risk him drawing me in any further. Not if I was going to be able to spy on him without breaking down completely.

When I didn’t say anything, Agent Vaughn continued on. “They were found near New York Methodist Hospital.”

“Yes,” I said quietly. I knew that much. My father had been thinking about transferring there. They had offered him the Chief of Surgery position.

“We’re not sure why they didn’t get a cab,” he said. “Maybe they were trying to find one. In any case, they ended up three blocks over. An anonymous source reported gunshots, and when the police got there, they were found in the alley.”

My throat was constricted. Although his voice was gentle, the way that he was describing their deaths so matter-of-factly was jarring. Images of them lying broken and bloody in a dirty alleyway, their eyes staring at nothing, flashed through my mind. I was suddenly very cold, and I hugged my arms to my chest, shivering.

Agent Vaughn was at my side in an instant, his hand on my shoulder. He crouched down beside me, and his eyes met mine. I dreaded seeing the pity in them, but I was shocked to find nothing but compassion.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I know that this must be hard to hear.”

I felt something warm and wet on my cheeks. I was crying. I hated crying, and it seemed that I had spilled enough tears to fill a river in the last few weeks. Why did it still hurt this badly to hear about their deaths? Surely some of the pain should have dulled in fourteen years?

But I had never faced the pain, never dealt with it. I had locked it away, buried it deep within me. And now it rose up, just as harsh and cutting as the night that I had been told that they had been murdered. I felt like a child again, bewildered and utterly lost.

Heaving in several deep breaths to choke back the sobs, I wiped the tears from my face. “I’m sorry,” I told Agent Vaughn. “I’m fine.”

He was looking at me with concern. “It’s okay to be upset, Dr. Ellers,” he assured me. “I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. You lost your only family that night. I know that you were in the foster system, and that you overcame the incredibly difficult circumstances to graduate top of your class at Columbia and then went on to earn your MD.” He looked at me seriously. “I know that you’re a strong woman, Dr. Ellers, but it’s okay to grieve. It’s natural.”

This time I couldn’t hold back a sob. No one had ever spoken to me like this; no one had ever told me that it was okay to be sad. They had just looked at me with pity, and I hated that. I had been determined not to show any weakness just to wipe that look from their faces. My heart had hardened, and I tried my best never to think about what had happened to my parents. I tried not to think about them at all. Remembering how happy my life had been with them was too painful.

I buried my face in my hands and let myself go. Agent Vaughn stroked his hand up and down my arm, comforting me. I cried for long minutes until my chest was aching from the wracking sobs, and he let me.

A knock at the door jerked me out of it. Agent Vaughn was still looking at me kindly. “It’s okay,” he said. “I don’t have to get that.”

“No,” I said, my voice ragged. “I… I think I’m done.”

He gave my arm a gentle squeeze before breaking contact. He pushed a box of tissues towards me and went to answer the door.

I was suddenly ravenous as the delicious smell of Chinese food wafted toward me. It occurred to me that I had hardly eaten anything in days. I had been too preoccupied.

Agent Vaughn settled himself in his chair across the desk from me once again, and I was slightly relieved at his renewed distance. Now that I was pulling myself back together, I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed by my complete melt-down. And I was amazed that I had actually allowed him to touch me, to comfort me as I cried. I hadn’t had that kind of physical contact with anyone other than Sean in years. But while Sean’s touch was decidedly discomfiting given my intense, uncontrollable reactions to him, I felt nothing but a steady warmth from Agent Vaughn. It was… nice.

But it was out of my system now; it definitely was not going to happen again. I had faced my grief, I had dealt with it. Time to move on.

“Are you okay?” He asked as he handed me my chicken lo-mein.

“Yeah,” I said, forcing my voice to come out steady. “I’m fine.”

He studied me for a moment. “I know that this is going to be hard for you, Dr. Ellers,” he said seriously. “We have a psychologist who you can see if you would like-”

“No,” I said quickly. The last thing that I wanted was someone picking my brain. I was having a hard enough time holding myself together without someone actively pulling me apart, forcing me to dredge up my painful past. “That won’t be necessary. I’m fine.”

He was frowning at me slightly. “Okay,” he conceded. “But if you change your mind, the offer is always open. And if not, you can always talk to me if you want to.”

I thought of the feeling of his hand against my arm, the feeling of relief at finally being given permission to grieve. As much as I hated the idea of crying in front of other people, I found that I felt better, lighter somehow, after completely letting myself go.

“Thanks, Agent Vaughn” I said quietly, meeting his clear blue eyes.

“You can call me Clayton, you know.” He gave me a small smile.

“Okay,” I said. “Clayton, then. And you can call me Claudia.” It struck me that I hadn’t given anyone permission to call me by my first name since I had gotten my MD. Well, no one other than Sean. And I hadn’t exactly given him my permission so much as he had insisted upon it.

Agent Vaughn – Clayton – beamed at me, and I found myself returning his smile, the sight of it pushing back the grief that weighed on my mind.

Chapter 4

As I walked up to my front porch that night, the motion-sensor floodlights that I had installed flared to life. My heart skipped a beat as they illuminated the form of a man sitting on the steps leading up to my door. But even though his face was buried in his hands, I recognized him instantly. When the lights hit him, his head jerked up, and his eyes met mine. They were wild, full of pain. And there was a bruise darkening on his jaw.

“Sean,” I said, startled. “What are you doing here?”

I hadn’t told him where I lived. It really was too damn easy to find my house. I needed to un-list my address. But this was one man that I wasn’t afraid to find waiting for me on my stoop.

He straightened quickly, that cocky light returning to his eyes as he looked me up and down, a lazy, lopsided smile spreading across his face. Heat flared in my loins at the sight of it. Even at a distance, his effect on me was intense.

“I’m here to see you, of course,” he said, pleasure evident in his voice. His eyes roved over me again, and his grin widened as he took in my professional slacks and neat bun. “Look at you all prim and proper.” There was that playful light in his gaze again, as though he found me cute. I told myself that I hated it, but it sent a shiver dancing across my flesh. God damn this cocky, infuriating, sinfully sexy man. He had barely uttered two sentences and already I was melting for him.

I forced myself to frown at him. “These are the clothes that I prefer to wear when I’m not being forced to play dress-up,” I said snidely.

His face darkened momentarily, but he quickly masked it. “You’re beautiful either way,” he said, his voice turning low and husky as he closed the distance between us. My mind told me to back away from him, but my body ignored it. His hand closed around the nape of my neck, pulling me up into him. I didn’t resist as his lips came down on mine. His tongue swept into my mouth, delving into my depths with no preamble, kissing me voraciously. My body pressed against him as though of its own accord, melting into him as he consumed me. I was losing myself, succumbing to his power over me.

Don’t do this, Claudia,
a small voice demanded inside of me. But I wasn’t listening. The feeling of Sean taking me felt too…
good.

God damn it, Claudia, what the fuck are you doing?
The voice was stronger this time, more insistent. It was right; I couldn’t allow him to manipulate me like this. I knew that I would break under his onslaught, and who knew what I might reveal to him if I allowed him to strip me bare once again?

I pressed my hands against his chest, trying to push him away. But I might as well have been shoving against a brick wall. With a low growl, he gripped my wrists and jerked them away, pinning them behind me and pressing them into the small of my back. He secured them there with one of his large hands, and his other returned to my nape, forcing me to stay where he wanted me.

I couldn’t help it; I moaned up into him as lust overwhelmed me. He continued to fuck my mouth with his tongue, claiming me, demonstrating my utter helplessness to his control over my body. And I reveled in the heady release. I felt as though I had been starved of his touch, and now I gorged myself on the sweet ecstasy of it.

But soon, too soon, he tore his mouth from mine. I gasped for breath, going lightheaded as oxygen flooded back into my lungs. His lips were quirked up in that knowing, satisfied smile, and I trembled in his grip.

His breath was warm against my lips as he spoke. “We should probably go inside,” he said.

At a loss for words, I just nodded dumbly. My mind was flooded with images of him fucking me roughly, granting me that sweet release as the lust wiped all thoughts from my busy mind. I unconsciously licked my lips as he reluctantly pulled away from me. I was grateful when he kept his hand on me, not holding mine, but still gripping my wrist possessively.

I fumbled for my keys, missing the lock a few times as I tried to open it with shaky hands. Sean’s hand tightened around my wrist and he chuckled at me.

Forcing away the tingles that shot down my spine, I glared up at him. But he just cocked an eyebrow and smiled at me, amused. I pushed the door open with an indignant huff, and he pulled me across the threshold. Automatically, I flipped the light on.