Traitor (2 page)

Did he really know what he was asking? For me to whore myself out in order to take down the Westies? For me to make myself vulnerable to Sean all over again? I didn’t think that I could survive that. Not with my soul intact. Nor my self-respect.

He eyed me levelly. “I would never ask you to do anything that you were uncomfortable with. You wouldn’t have to take the relationship to a level that you weren’t comfortable with. But if you could even resume a friendship with him, earn his trust. You have no idea what that could mean for us. His father is likely a linchpin in the organization. If we can get enough evidence against him, the whole thing might come crumbling down.”

My eyes were wide, and I shook my head vehemently. “I couldn’t do that,” I said, my voice high and thin. How could I be anywhere near Sean and have a hope of resisting him? If I had been stupid enough to fuck him when he was holding me hostage, how could I possibly imagine that I could resist his power over me now?

Because you know what he is.
Yes, I was disgusted by him now that I knew his true nature. I would never be able to let him touch me again considering what I now knew. Would I?

“This could be your chance to avenge your parents,” Agent Vaughn said, relentless. “I know that that means something to you, Dr. Ellers.”

My heart twisted. Could I finally get closure after all this time? Finally heal the scars on my soul that had pained me for fourteen years?

”You can join the human race again,”
Sean had said. Now that he had taught me what it was like to feel, to connect again, I didn’t know if I could face going back to my life of cold isolation. Yes, being so exposed hurt like a bitch, but it had also been incredibly freeing to be completely emotionally honest with another human being for the first time in years. God, Sean had fucked me in more ways than one.

“And,” Agent Vaughn continued, “I would reopen your parent’s case. I know that the cops never found their killer. I would personally help you hunt down the person responsible for their deaths.”

My heart leapt. To know who was responsible, to finally make him pay for what he had done, for destroying my life… Could I turn away from that opportunity?

Why was Agent Vaughn doing this to me? Wasn’t it enough that I was having to go through the turmoil of betraying Sean?

No. I couldn’t do it; I wouldn’t survive it. I knew that if I allowed myself near Sean, I would find myself in his grip once again. And I couldn’t risk exposing myself to that.

I dropped my eyes, tearing myself from Agent Vaughn’s intense blue gaze.

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I just can’t do it.”

There was a moment’s pause. “Okay, Dr. Ellers,” he said. “I understand. We’ll need your statement against Bradley Smith, and then we’ll see what evidence we can gather. At least we’ll get two of these scumbags off the street.”

Scumbags.

I thought of Sean’s sweet green eyes. The word seemed so… wrong.

Chapter 2

I was barely keeping it together as I turned the key to get into my house. As soon as I found refuge inside, I would allow myself to fall apart. But not before. I had been holding it in ever since I had left Agent Vaughn, refusing to let the FBI see how torn up I was about my decision. I knew that they would find blood in the parking lot outside of my office; the man had been bleeding profusely. Despite what he had wanted to do to me, I still hoped that he had gotten some medical help. If he had survived, then Sean wasn’t a killer. I couldn’t bear the thought of him being a killer. Still, with that blood evidence, he might go to jail for attempted murder. How long they would put him away for that?

No. I didn’t care. I didn’t. Sean was dangerous, ruthless. He lived in a world steeped in violence, and he clearly embraced it. No matter how tender he had been towards me, no matter how many times he had protected me, I had seen his true nature. How long would it be before his heart hardened completely? Before he attacked innocent people for the sake of his stupid drugs?

Innocent people like my parents.

I locked the door behind me and leaned up against it for support, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose to stop the spinning in my head.

“You weren’t at work today. Where were you, bitch?”

My heart skipped a beat, and my eyes flew open. No. He couldn’t be here. Not in my safe haven.

“Bradley,” I said his name, my voice several octaves higher than usual as I forced the words through my constricted throat. “What are you doing here? How did you get in?”

“You left your keys in your purse. Your address is listed in the phone book. It wasn’t exactly hard to find you.”

Fuck.
Why hadn’t I thought to change the locks?
Stupid stupid stupid!

“Are you here to kill me?” I asked tremulously.

“Unfortunately, no,” he said. “Don’t think I haven’t thought about it. But you’ve really fucked with Sean’s head, and I’m not going to risk you causing further damage to our relationship.”

Some of the tightness in my chest loosened. It seemed that Sean was saving my life again, even if he wasn’t here. And I knew that he had honored my wishes to leave me alone; otherwise Bradley wouldn’t be standing in my foyer.

He abandoned me.
My heart squeezed at the thought. But that was what I wanted, what I had ordered him to do. It had been my choice.

“So where were you today?” He continued harshly. “If you went to the cops, I might just change my mind about killing you. It won’t be by my hand, but someone else will gladly do it. If you can’t testify, then you have nothing on me. And nothing on Sean.”

“No!” I said quickly. “I took a personal day. I was attacked last night, in case Sean didn’t tell you.” I gestured to the small cut on my cheek to back up my story. “Is it so ludicrous that I didn’t feel like going to work today?”

“Then where were you?” He asked, skeptical.

“With my foster brother,” I lied. “I needed to be with family.”

He eyed me suspiciously. “And why wouldn’t you go to the cops?”

“Because…” I hesitated. “Because I couldn’t do that to Sean, okay?” I turned a glare on him. “I might want you to rot in jail for what you did to me, but I couldn’t do that without turning him in too.”

There. A kernel of truth would make my story more believable.

His hands clenched to fists. “You expect me to believe that you actually care about him, whore? You were just using him.”

“No,” I said staunchly. “Believe what you want, but if I had gone to the cops, wouldn’t I have a security detail on me right now? Wouldn’t I be dialing 911?”

I wondered briefly why I hadn’t been given a security detail. I was going to have to take that up with Agent Vaughn.

Bradley regarded me for a moment. “Fine,” he barked. “But don’t even think about changing your mind. You’ll be dead if the cops come for us. And then we’ll be freed anyway. They have no evidence against us without you. So understand that your life is over if you even think about turning us in.”

I swallowed hard and nodded vigorously. “I understand,” I said quickly. It seemed I was going to have to demand a security detail before the FBI went after Bradley and Sean. I hesitated. “But leave my keys here. I never want to see your face again. If I do, I will go to the police, regardless of the consequences.”

He fixed me with a hard look, but I raised my chin and met his glare defiantly.

“You always were too mouthy for your own good, you stupid bitch,” he said. But he reached in his pocket and dropped my keys on the floor.

I heaved a small sigh of relief. Regardless, I would get my locks changed first thing in the morning. But at least this way he couldn’t sneak back in tonight if he changed his mind.

I opened the door. “You said what you came here to say. Now get out of my house,” I demanded. I knew that I was playing with fire, but I needed him to get away from me.

He glared at me, but mercifully he stalked out, all of his muscles tensed with suppressed violence. I slammed the door behind him, sliding the lock home. Then I walked into my living room on leaden legs, falling back onto my couch in a heap. I was trembling as adrenaline pumped through me, making me feel light-headed.

What if Bradley found out that I had gone to the FBI? I knew that he hadn’t been lying; if he and Sean were arrested, someone else in their organization would come for me. What were my options? Have the FBI protect me indefinitely? Go into witness protection? I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to have to abandon my life and start over.

There was nothing for it: if I wanted to protect myself, I was going to have to take down the Westies. No matter what it took. Could I make myself vulnerable to Sean once again in order to make that happen? Did I value my life enough to put myself in that position?

Yes. I would just have to resist him. I could have a relationship with him without having a
relationship
with him. It was my only choice. Not to mention that I would finally be able to avenge my parents, possibly discover who was responsible for their murders and put him away for life.

Bradley didn’t know that he had just sealed his own fate. His ambition to rise in the mob, to protect his compatriots, would be the very thing that would bring them all down. I felt a grim sense of satisfaction at the idea. The only way he would be able to protect himself from retribution from his buddies in prison would be a lifetime of solitary confinement.

I was momentarily disgusted by myself. When had I become so cold? This was all Bradley’s fault; he had made me this way. And so had Sean.

I reached into my purse and pulled out the cell phone that Agent Vaughn had given me so that they could track me through GPS at any time. I dialed.

“Vaughn,” he answered simply.

I took a deep breath. “This is Dr. Ellers,” I said. “I want to do it. I want to take down the Westies.”

My stomach was in knots the following evening as I slowly walked down the corridor that led to Sean’s apartment. I paused when I reached his door. Could I bring myself to enter this dreaded place again? When it had taken everything within me to escape from it? What if he wouldn’t let me leave?

I had to take the chance. I didn’t have another choice. Hardening my resolve, I knocked sharply on the door.

My chest tightened when Bradley opened it. His face twisted into a snarl.

“What are you doing here?” He demanded angrily.

“I…” I began faintly. Then I forced my voice to harden. “I came to see Sean.”

Bradley spat. “Get the fuck out.”

“No,” I said resolutely. “Not until I see him.”

“Claudia?” His deep voice, with that delicious lilt when he said my name, sent a shiver down my spine. His gorgeous green eyes were wide and disbelieving as he appeared behind Bradley’s shoulder. My heart fluttered in my chest as his gaze met mine.

“Get the fuck out of the way, Bradley,” he demanded. His friend didn’t move. Sean’s hand closed around his shoulder and shoved him aside.

Bradley growled. “Are you serious, Sean?” He said angrily.

Sean tore his eyes from mine, pinning him with a level look. “This is none of your business, Bradley,” he said, his voice tense.

“Fuck you both,” Bradley said sharply. He shoved past me, bumping my shoulder hard as he stalked out of the apartment. Sean’s hands clenched to fists as he glared after his friend.

But his attention quickly returned to me, his eyes drawn to mine as though by a magnet. My breath caught in my throat. Had I really forgotten how beautiful he was in my short time away from him? I had been so fixated on the image of his face twisted in fury that I was now struck by his perfection all over again as he looked down at me in wonder.

“Hi,” I breathed, stupidly.

His lips quirked up at the corners. “Hi yourself,” he said. He reached out and took my hand as though he couldn’t help himself. I wanted to jerk away, but one touch of his skin against mine and I knew that I was lost. I couldn’t resist the allure of that delicious feeling of sparks dancing over my flesh.

Then he pulled my hand, drawing my body up against his. His arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly to him. I stood stiffly for a moment, trying desperately to fight his magnetism. But his scent surrounded me, enfolding me. Before I knew what was happening, my arms were around him as well, and I buried my face in his chest, breathing him in.

Safe.

“I thought I would never see you again,” he said, his voice low and rough.

“Me too,” I said softly.

He ran his hand through my hair, grasping a fistful of it at my nape. He pulled back gently, forcing me to face him. But I couldn’t meet his eyes. I knew that I would break if I did.

He tugged more sharply on my hair. “Look at me, Claudia.”

I couldn’t resist his direct order. My breath caught in my throat as our eyes met, and I froze under his steady gaze. He held me in place, his strong arm around my back, and he began to slowly, tentatively, lean into me.

My breathing turned shallow, and I could feel my pulse racing. I was trapped, a bird held captive by the eyes of a snake. He was going to devour me. I felt a stirring in my loins at the prospect, and my lips parted for him.

No!
My rational mind screamed at me.
Don’t do this, Claudia.
In a moment of clarity, I knew that I would never be able to escape him if I allowed his mouth to take mine.

“Don’t,” I said, but my voice was husky and lacked conviction. His lips twisted up at the corners in that cruel, knowing smile, and he continued his agonizingly slow approach.

“Please,” I begged, desperation lacing my tone. “Sean, don’t.”

He paused, his brow furrowing. “Why?”

“I’m not…” I swallowed. “I just can’t. Please.”

His face was suddenly schooled into a blank mask, and he released me abruptly. There was a pang in my heart at the loss of the heat of him. But I fought to match his unconcerned expression. I couldn’t show any further weakness. Otherwise I wouldn’t survive this.

“Can we talk?” I asked softly.

“Sure,” he said calmly, as though it was of no consequence to him. He stepped back, silently inviting me in. I skirted past him, careful not to touch him as I entered. My eyes were instantly drawn to his bedroom, and memories of our time together flashed across my mind: our quiet companionship, my confessions about my past, the discovery of the electric connection between us that I was helpless to resist.