Tragic Desires (10 page)

They said Hakeem was funneling his money into a large terrorist organization … one that had been responsible for a recent bombing at the World Trade Center. It was the one in 1993. At
first I refused to believe them. I ran out in tears. But the CIA pursued me, feeding me more and more information until I couldn’t deny it anymore. The man I’d loved for more than four years was a killer.

The CIA told me I couldn’t leave him. I knew they were right. He would never let me leave because I had you. They said they could help. All I had to do was get them information.
A list of contacts. So I did. The CIA taught me how to find what I was looking for. I even transferred his financial records.

But one day I found a file. I copied it and then deleted it off his computer. Even the CIA didn’t know I did that. Maybe I was wrong to do it, I don’t know, but I wanted some kind of insurance for you. They promised me protection in the witness protection program, but I wanted more than that. I wanted something for the future in case anything ever came up.

They held up their end by faking my death, changing our names, and relocating us to Texas. And so we began a new life. Now you know why I was so overprotective of everything you did. I was frightened to death that one day Hakeem’s associates would find us and kill me or even you. They took your father into custody and as far as I know, he remains in prison somewhere. I asked not to be told, because the truth is that even though he did terrible things, I still loved him. And I hated myself for what I’d done. I know it was the right thing to do, but I wish I could’ve talked to him about it and asked him why he killed so many innocent people.

There were so many days I simply went through the motions, but the only thing that made it worthwhile was you. I would gaze at you while you slept and know that I did the right thing. Deep in my heart, I knew there were children whose parents I might have saved, simply by removing Hakeem’s money from the hands of the terrorists.

If you’re wondering about the money left to you upon my death, it came from Hakeem and his oil funds. He set that money up for you when you were born; the CIA and I prearranged that it be transferred to you when you turned eighteen or upon my death. It was not dirty money.

I am so sorry that everything I’ve left for you has been so secretive, but it’s all for good reason. There is
a very important file that you must find Gemini. It contains information that I won’t disclose in this letter, but trust no one. This is very important. Your life may be in danger over this. I’ve gone to great lengths to make it difficult to find, but when you do, I hope you understand everything.

In closing, you will make up your own mind in the end about the choices I made in life. I understand that. But remember one thing: I loved you with everything I had in me, Gemini.

With undying love,

Mom

By the time he finishes reading, I’m weeping. Her life was filled with such profound sadness it’s hard for me to believe I never suspected it. Drex kneels in front of me and hands me a tissue to wipe my tears away.

“Her life was so sad.”

“No, it wasn’t. You filled it with great joy.”

Shaking my head, I say, “Not really. She sacrificed her happiness.”

“Maybe so. But you would do the same. If you found out someone you loved were a terrorist, you wouldn’t want hundreds to die because of that person. She knew that she did the right thing. The sad part is that she was killed before she could tell you face to face. She deserved to have at least that much.”

“It all makes sense now. She always told me I would know when I met the man I loved because love would rule all. She must’ve loved him a great deal.”

My heart is so tangled up over this letter, I can’t decide if I’m relieved he read it. The truth has now been revealed and I’m no longer in the dark about who my father was.

“Do you think he’s still alive?” I ask.

“Who? Your father?”

“Yeah.”

“We can check.”

“And I guess the other thing we’re searching for now is
the file she took off his computer that she didn’t give to the CIA.”

Drex is holding my hand, sliding his thumb across the top of it. It’s distracting. “Yeah. I wonder what it is.”

“Just another list.”

“No. That’s not it. It’s something much greater than that.”

Oh, Mom! What the hell did you do? Why didn’t you just take what they told you to get and be done with it? Why did you do all this?

“What are you thinking?”

I roll my head, my muscles screaming at me. “I’m pissed off at my mom.”

“For this letter?”

“Nah. For taking that extra information. If she’d left it alone, she’d probably still be alive.”

“No doubt you’re right.”
He stands and grabs my hands. “Come on, let’s get out of here for a little bit.”

We leave the den and Jeff is there
, wanting to know if we need anything. Drex asks him if he’d mind going over the papers from the box to see if we missed anything.

“Don’t mind at all.”

“We’re hunting for clues and I’m not saying anything else. I want you to have an open mind on this.” Jeff nods. “We’re going for a walk. We’ll be back in about thirty.”

Drex walks me through the house
. We go out the back door and head down a gravel path about thirty yards. I hear water and we reach a patio area with a lit fountain. The stars are out. It’s a nice quiet night.

“My head’s exploding.”

“You need something for pain?”

“No, I need some answers
on what my mom hid.”

“Listen, Gemini, there’s always that chance you may never get them.”

That’s a discomforting thought. I can’t stand it. My breath leaves me in a rush. “I’m not prepared for or willing to accept that.”

“We need to straighten out your hair,” he says as he grabs a handful and lets it slide through his fingers. That intimate gesture catches me off guard
. I don’t know what to say.

“That was random.”

“It was meant as a distraction.”

One thing that
is
distracting is his mouth. He has beautiful lips and when he smiles, one corner lifts slightly higher. Dark brown hair, almost black, falls across his forehead, and he wears it completely messy. It looks like he just rolled out of bed and I have an urge to slide my hands through it. He’s tall, well over six feet. But he’s as hard as a brick wall. When I ran into him at the hotel, he was solid muscle. I could almost count his six-pack under his shirt. But his eyes are his hottest feature. Smoke in the center but blue on the periphery. And in the middle of his iris, they merge together. I guess you might say the total package of Drexel is very distracting.

“What’s going through that mind of yours, Onyx?”

“Onyx?”

“That’s what I called you before I knew your name. Your eyes
… they’re like onyx. Dark as night but like gemstones.”

Don’t ask me why I did it, but I close the distance between us and wrap my hands in his shirt. Before I take the time to think, my lips
press on his. My fear that he’ll push me away dissolves when he hitches me up against him and wraps one arm around my waist. The other one grabs my hair and winds it around his hand. He kisses me back. The kiss intensifies as he takes over and demands more from me with his lips and tongue. I’m butter in his hands, and I melt like I’ve never done before. This man knows his way around a girl’s mouth. He nips at my lips, the effect of which I’m sure he can feel as my heart pounds against his chest. My hands leave his shirt and make their way to his neck, my fingers buried in his hair. I can’t ever remember getting this much out of a kiss. How is this possible?

He stops but leans his forehead against mine. We’re panting like two dogs in a heat wave. I want to check if my tongue is hanging out of my mouth.

“That was certainly unexpected.” His voice is low and sexy.

Now I feel shy. “I
… I guess I should apologize.”

“I wouldn’t
dare do that if I were you.” Did he just scold me?

My lower lip is between my teeth, but I feel myself grin. “Okay. I won’t. And I’m not the least bit sorry
, either.”

Now he laughs. “Good, because I’m glad you kissed me. I’ve wanted to kiss you since I saw you the first night in the bar.”

“You have?”

“I have. I’ve
wanted to do much more than kiss.”

“Tell me.”

“Dirty things. All kinds of dirty things I shouldn’t be talking about.”

Oh, hell! I’m grinning again and want to kiss him some more
, but footsteps crunch on the gravel. We break apart just as Jeff comes into view.

“I take it you’re
Amira Assaf?” Jeff asks.

“
Yeah,” I say.

“From what I can gather, your mother entered the WPP
when you were two or three years old. And you were too young to remember your life before then. This key,” he holds it up, “is the real key to what you need to know. The why of it all. Whatever file she took was important enough for her to go to these extremes. She was wise not to keep whatever it unlocks in the same place as these documents. So my guess is that’s it’s close so she could access it whenever she needed. Maybe within a few hours, no farther.”

Drex asks, “What kind of box do you think it is?”

“Not sure. It may not be a box at all. This certainly isn’t a safe deposit box key or anything similar. It looks to me like an ordinary lock, maybe a padlock or …” An odd look crosses his face and he smiles. “My best guess is that it’s a key to a storage unit somewhere.”

“That’s it. But the
million-dollar question is, where?” Drex paces. Seems when he thinks really hard, he gets energized and can’t stand or sit still. “Gemini, you went to Austin and San Antonio a lot, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Any other cities close to here? Think. She would’ve wanted somewhere that she could’ve gotten to and from within a day. Maybe even while you were in school.”

“No, only those two,” I answer.

“Then it has to be in either of those two cities,” Jeff says. “That’s the most logical.”

“So how do we find it?”

The men look at each other and shrug. Drex says, “It’ll have to be a process of elimination. Gemini, I want you to focus on things you did in those two cities and things she would say to you.”

“Okay, this is a long shot, but for whatever reason, she used to love to walk around the downtown area of Austin. Even Sixth Street.
All the cafes and things. And then we’d window shop. She’d also take me down South Congress too. That’s one of the reasons I moved to Austin. It brought back memories of a happier time.”

Drex says, “Anything similar with San Antonio?”

“Only the River Walk area. But now that I think about it, we really went to Austin a lot more than San Antonio.”

“Then that’s where you need to focus first,” Jeff says.

That thought worries me to no end.

“
It’s going to be risky,” Drexel says. “That’s where they’re all looking for her right now. So we’ll need a wig and some different clothes to disguise her.”

“Can you spend the night here?”

After he takes a deep breath, Drex asks, “Is it safe to keep the helo here over night?”

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem.
We’re twenty miles out of town. Farmers crop dust all the time. No one will think twice about that.”

“What about my men
? Do you mind if they stay?”

“
Not at all. You know I have the two small guest houses and three bedrooms in the main house, so I have plenty of room.”

“Thanks
, man.”

“No worries.
You hungry? Can I get you some food?”

My stomach must’ve heard the question because it answered before I had the chance.

Jeff laughs and says, “Follow me.”

We head inside and he leads us into the kitchen where he pulls out
sandwich fixings from the refrigerator.

“Would you like an adult
beverage. Beer, wine?”

“Please,” I say.

“Help yourself to whatever you find in the fridge. And if you need anything else, just hunt it down.”

Drex and I make up sandwiches and sit down at
the island to eat. My last bite finished, I ask, “I could really use a shower. Do you think Jeff would mind?”

“Would I mind what?” Jeff asks as he walks back into the room.

“I need a shower and was wondering if …”

“Right this way.”

I follow him upstairs and into a bedroom where there’s a light turned on. Then he shows me to the bathroom.

“This is a
Jack-and-Jill bath, so Drex will be sharing it with you. His room is on the other side. Unless you want to share one. That’s your business, not mine, so I’ll leave it up to you. Anyway, you’ll find plenty of towels in the cabinet. Help yourself to whatever you need. Make yourself at home. I don’t have much as far as women’s clothes go, but I’ll leave a pair of sweats and a T-shirt on the bed for you.”