Tragic Desires (12 page)

“Gemini, I want to help you.”

“I know, and I don’t know why. But you didn’t answer my question. You have a business to run, right?”

“Yes, I do.” And before I can say another word, she jumps in.

“Then you need to get back to wherever it is you live. I can take care of myself and get all this figured out. It’s not fair to put you in danger. You don’t need to risk yourself for me.”

“
I live in Denver. And I was a soldier, and that’s what soldiers do. I’m used to it.”

“But it’s not right, you doing this.”

“Why not? If I don’t help you, you won’t make it out of here alive. I’m telling you, Gemini, these guys don’t play nice. They will tear you down until you beg for death. And I can’t let them do that. This is what I was trained for and it wouldn’t be right to know that I could’ve stopped that from happening. This is my choice, so stop worrying about it.”

She has
a way of pinning me with one look. It’s very disconcerting, like she can see into my soul.

“Why
, Drex? Why me?”

And that’s a very good question. One I’m not sure I can answer. “When you were drugged that night, I knew if I left you there, something terrible would happen to you. Colt gave the order to abandon the operation, but I couldn’t leave you. So here we are. I believe everything happens for a reason, good or bad. Maybe we’ll both figure it out one day.”

“I don’t want to be the one responsible for you getting hurt or for messing up your job.”

She doesn’t know anything about my job or business. I suppose I should tell her.

“You can’t mess up my job. The company’s mine.”

“
But don’t you have to run it?”

She hasn’t a clue about the size and scope of DWInvestigations. “The headquarters are in Denver. I started it up right after I left the military and used my contacts to network. It catapulted me into a whole other bracket and I hit it big. I have a crew of awesome employees and they take damn good care of things. Initially, the business took off so fast I was spread too thin and working nonstop. So a friend recommended this guy to help manag
e things and he’s the one who guided me into making the right business decisions. Part of the reason why I was so good was that I had the right connections with certain people and could get things done where other PI firms couldn’t. We do high-profile cases … kidnappings, cyberespionage, corporate espionage, stuff like that. So don’t worry about disrupting my business. It’s in good hands.”

She frames my face with her hands and whispers, “But that still doesn’t guarantee
you won’t get hurt and I won’t take a chance with that.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have to promise each other
we
won’t get hurt.” Her closeness is more than I can take and before she can say another word, my lips crash onto hers. They are simply too tempting to ignore. With that sweet body of hers beneath mine, I know I’ll have to cut this short. So I end the kiss, even though that’s the last thing I want to do.

Rolling off her, I ask, “How are you feeling now? Chills gone?”

“Yeah,” she says.

“Good. I’m going back down
to talk with the guys for a bit and let you get some sleep.” I know she’s disappointed, but it’s the right thing to do. If I stay, things will happen … things with consequences … things I’m not prepared to deal with.

“Thanks for warming me up.”

What she doesn’t know is that I’d like to do way more than just warm her up. Instead, I paste on a smile and get up.

“Sleep well, Onyx. You know where to find me if you need me.”

When I rejoin
the men, I tell Huff I want to get Brady here and why. He assures me that shouldn’t be a problem.

“Where do you want him? Here?”

I think for a moment. “Not Austin. That’s too much. Where can we fly him, Jeff?”

“San Angelo. Midland/Odessa.”

“How long can we stay here?”

Jeff laughs. “You gonna pay me room and board?”

“If you want.”

“Indefinitely. And that’s without the fees.”

My face must be all sorts of serious because Huff says, “Dayum, boss, you’re gonna give yourself a tension headache if you don’t ease up.”

He’s right. My head feels like a band
is tightening around it. “I want Gemini to see Brady. She suffers from severe migraines due to post-concussion syndrome. I think he can help her.”

“Shit. That sucks. Well
, if anyone can help her, it’s Brady,” Jeff says.

“My exact thoughts. So Huff, let’s see if we can get him here ASAP. I want her to see him before we do anything else. She can’t travel during the day. Hell, she can’t do anything during the day. The daylight kills her. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“Boss, are you, er, involved with her?”

Our
eyes meet and without hesitation I answer, “That’s not any of your business.” But that’s all I say, because I’m not sure what the hell one would call things between us.

“
Our plans are on hold until Brady sees Gemini. Now, I want to go through her things again and see if there’s anything we missed.”

I grab the box and we go to work dissecting it again. I’m troubled by the fact that her mother didn’t leave any clues
to the file she took from her lover’s computer.

“Why wouldn’t she leave Gemini any clues? It doesn’t make sense.”

Jeff stops what he’s doing and says, “She did leave clues. We’re just not finding them. She was smart, Drex. She did it this way on purpose. If she hadn’t, Gemini and she would never have survived for as long as they did. As good as the WPP is, you and I both know they have holes as big as Texas. Let’s find the key we’re looking for. And not the metal kind … the one that will lead us to what this one opens.” When he finishes speaking, he’s holding up the small key Gemini found in the envelope.

We fumble through the papers and as we do
, I break things down in my head. This isn’t the smart way to do this.

“Stop. Everyone each take a document. I want each of us to read it as though it has something encrypted in it.”

Huff asks, “Like what? Got an example?”

“Not really. I just have a gut feeling that each of these things hold
s a clue. Why else would they be in here? Why wouldn’t she have destroyed them? They don’t really tell us anything, do they?”

“He’s right,” Jeff says. “Let’s look at these one by one. Pay particular attention to dates and numbers.”

It takes us more than three hours to find a pattern, but eventually one emerges. And it’s Jeff who finds it. “Drex, do you know when Gemini was born?”

“Not off the top of my head, but isn’t her birth certificate in there?”

He digs through the box and finds it. A smile spreads across his face. “I think I may have something here.”

My curiosity is
all consuming. “What is it?”

“Huff, Blake, what are the dates on the documents you checked?”

They thumb through their papers and say, “June.”

Blake says, “Years ranging from 1993 to 1994.”

“Mine are the same,” Huff says.

“So Gemini was born in June
’91, correct?”

I nod. “June fifteenth.”

“Then all these documents are from that month and then when she was two to three years old. What I’m thinking is that the clues must center around her birthdate of six and fifteen. Or maybe zero, six, fifteen and maybe the year too. What I’m not sure of is if it leads us to an address. But it’s a starting point.”

“How so?” Blake asks.

Now it’s my turn to smile. “She was very clever, this Michelle Sheridan. Or Rachel Miller. By using Gemini’s birthdate, we can cross-reference all the storage facilities in the Austin area for addresses that contain those numbers. Jeff, where’s your laptop?”

“On it,” he says.
Upon returning, he searches storage units in the Austin area, looking for any with addresses comprised of the numbers six, fifteen, and possibly parts of either 1991, 1993, or 1994. After just a few, he hits on one, ironically located on none other than Sixth Street.

“Jesus. That has to be it
—1615 W. Sixth Street. You’ve got to be kidding me.” I rub my face as I think about everything and what we can possibly find inside that unit.

“Ok
ay, Drex, now we need a plan to get in there. You know the unit number will be similar, right?” Jeff asks.

“Yeah. I’ll get Gemini to call and say it was in her mother’s name. I’m sure Michelle Sheridan left something in the lease giving Gemini access, in case of her demise.” I think about Gemini’s reaction when she hears this. “
Hey, I need some shut-eye. Let’s pick this up first thing in the morning.”

Sleep is most likely the last thing I’ll be able to do. I’m troubled over what in the hell Michelle Sheridan could possibly have hidden. Whatever it is was dangerous enough to have gotten her killed and to have her leave such cryptic clues. I’m also wondering when the CIA is going to be banging on Jeff’s door. I’ve no doubt they’ll find us …
either they will or Aali Imaam. And then there’s Colt and his op to worry about. I need to check in with him to see if he has any more leads and to find out if the guys I sent are doing their jobs. Finally, there’s this thing bursting between Gemini and me. I could try to lie to myself, but what good would that do? Something big is happening because I never have these kinds of feelings about a woman and if I do, I can usually shove them aside and move forward. But not with her. She’s in my head and other places too. I absolutely need to keep my shit straight here.

I
t’s late, maybe
four in the morning, when I wake. I’d hoped the axe man wouldn’t visit, but he’s returned, axe swinging away. For a moment, I’m disoriented. Then it comes back to me: I’m at Jeff’s. I need my meds. How in the world did I ever think I could get off these things? I guess I felt so good around Drex that it gave me false hope of living a normal life. I move to stand and the blinding pain is so fierce, I hit the floor and moan.

Shit!
Moving is nearly impossible, but I know I must if I’m to get any reprieve. I push to my hands and knees and inch my way to the bathroom. Now I’m faced with another dilemma. I don’t even know where the Lortab is. Drex has put it somewhere. Maybe if I kneel I can find it with my hands. But that doesn’t work because I can’t reach. As I try to stand up, I end up face-planting on the tile, smacking my cheekbone in the process.

I’m so dazed I don’t hear him speaking until he turns on the light
, and then I scream.

“
Oh hell. I’m sorry.” The light switches off and he picks me up and puts me in bed. Then I feel his hand on the back of my neck as he supports me and hands me my pills with water. I make a mess of things because my hands are shaking so badly and I can barely swallow.

“Don’t move. Just stay still. I’ll be right back.” I’m not sure what’s going on
and I dare not check to find out. He soon returns with an ice pack and cool cloth. But I’m in such a bad way, I can’t lie still.

“What can I do
, Gemini? Just tell me and I’ll do it.”

There’s
an urgency in his voice. But why? This is the same thing that happens every day. I wish I could answer him, calm him down, but I can only writhe in pain. His hand is on my back, but I hurt so much I don’t want him to touch me. I pull my knees to my chin and ball up. Why must these headaches come on so damn strong and hurt so damn bad?

His hand is in mine and I’m squeezing it. I have to be hurting him, but he doesn’t say a thing. He lets me squeeze away. Weirdly enough, this action sooth
es me. The pain crests and I feel the wave slacken, thank God. My breathing slows and I release his hand.

“Better?”

“Only just.”

He lets out his breath, as if he’s been holding it.

“Jesus, Gemini. We’ve got to get you some help.”

I nod.

He brushes my hair back and when his hand touches my cheek, I wince. “What’s wrong?”

“I fell. In the bathroom.”

“Let me see.” He angles my face toward the moonlight streaming in through the window and says, “You’ve got yourself quite a knot there. It’ll match the other bruises you already have. I need to get you another ice bag.”

I clutch
the new ice-filled bag to my cheek and the other to my head. If the axe man weren’t visiting, I would laugh at the picture I must make. The bed moves as he gets in and the covers are pulled over us both. He must’ve decided to sleep the rest of the night with me, which is fine. I don’t want to be alone.

“Thank you
, Drex.” My voice is thick with the effects of the pain meds. “It seems my debts to you keep mounting.”

“You’re welcome
. And they’re not debts.”

“Then what are they?”

“They’re things friends do for each other.”

“So is that what we are? Friends?”

“Mmm. I would hope so.”

It was my hope we would be much more than friends, but I’ll settle for that right now. “It’s nice to have a friend. You’re my first real friend, you know.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“But I do.” The
Lortab has made me loose lipped.

“Tell me
, how is it that I’m your first friend?”

“When I was young, my mom discouraged
friends. Or maybe that’s not the right word. She never
encouraged
friendships with anyone. I wasn’t allowed to spend the night anywhere and after I said no a few too many times, people stopping asking. And of course, I was never allowed to have overnight guests. Now I know why, but back then, I always thought she was just being mean. And now that I think about it, she always made me fade into the background. None of my clothes were cute or stylish. My hair was always cut in some drab style and I was never allowed to wear makeup.” The thought that she never wanted me to stand out or for others to admire me stings. Though I know why she did it, the idea that she let me grapple through my adolescent years without any way to become my own person gouges my heart.

Drex doesn’t seem to be able to keep his hands off me. He touch
es my face, my arms, shoulders, everywhere. I find that I don’t want him to stop. “Don’t let it do this to you.”

“Do what?” How does he know what I’m thinking all the time?

“Upset you. You’ve gone all tense on me. I can see your frown, even in the moonlight, Gemini. She was only trying to protect you.”

“Maybe, or maybe she was working with them. Who knows?”

“She wasn’t working with them. She was running from them and was doing everything she could to keep you safe. The letter and box with its cryptic messages are proof. Tell me what happened when you went to college and why you didn’t have any friends there,” he says. He’s great at getting my mind off this.

“I think by that time, I
didn’t know how to make friends. I went through my whole life without learning how. By the time I hit college, I was lost in the sea of students. So I kept to myself. I was so awkward and uncomfortable. And the dorm … gah, that first semester I wanted to crawl in a hole every day. My social skills in a group setting pretty much suck so I would huddle in my bunk most of the time, avoiding my suite mates. They thought I was on drugs because I acted so sketchy around them. But I honestly didn’t know what to say to them.

“
Then I met Nick at the end of second semester. But I never felt like we were friends. We went from acquaintances to dating to being in love and living together. Or at least I thought we were in love. I had feelings for him, but not
those
kind … the right kind. And then it all exploded after my injury. The stress of it. And now he’s dead because of me.”

Drex’s
voice is soft. “Onyx. You can’t beat yourself up for that. You didn’t know. Couldn’t know. It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, maybe not directly, but it the end, it
was
my fault.”

“Stop. Don’t do this to yourself.” He takes my hand and kisses it. “Let’s get some sleep.”

Insomnia chokes me as thoughts of my mother and what she’s done eat at me. All this talk with Drex has driven home how methodical she’s been over the years. I never thought of my mother as calculating, but was I ever wrong. You always hear how children are the result of the environment in which they were raised, and it makes me wonder what the long-term effects will be of what she’s done over the years.

M
orning comes way
too soon, and so does the blinding light. Drex has the curtains drawn, but they’re not the blackout kind like I have at home. I need to take another pill, so I move to get out of bed and notice I’m not in my room—I’m in his. He must’ve carried me to his bed last night. I find myself grinning at the thought.

“What has you smiling like that?”

He’s awake and watching me. I decide to tell the truth. “You.”

He squints and says, “Me? Why me?”

“Just because.”

“That’s it? Just because?”

“Yep.” I give him a sneaky grin. But I know I need my meds, so I carefully make my way to the bathroom. I hear him say, “On the right side by the mirror.”

“Thanks.” I down
a pill with some water and head back to bed.

When I get settled in, he says, “We really do need to get your hair evened out.”

“That bad, huh?”

“
Let’s just say it’s not something you’d see coming out of a salon.”

That comment strikes me as funny. Drex doesn’t seem like the salon type. “And you would know that how?”

“I’m only assuming, you know.”

“Ah, I see.
Think you can go back to sleep?”

He raises his brows and says, “Gemini, I’m in bed with an extremely sexy woman. How can you even ask me that?”

Holy shit!
My eyes wander to his chest—how did I not notice that he’s shirtless? What’s wrong with me? Have I suddenly gone blind? The man is perfect. Before I can think about it, my hand reaches out and touches him. I don’t dare look at his face because I know one look from him will melt me on the spot or give me an indication that this isn’t appropriate, and I don’t need him to tell me that. I
know
it’s not appropriate. Hell, it’s not appropriate for me to be in his bed, either, but here I am, and damn if I’m not going to enjoy every minute of it.

My fingers trace the curves and slopes of his rigid muscles
, down to his tiered abs. He doesn’t have a six-pack; he has an exquisitely sculpted set of matching eights that lead me to that sexy V. I know where that V leads, but I can’t go there because his boxers are in the way and I’m not brazen enough to slip past the elastic waistband.

But before my thoughts take me any further, his hand traps mine.

“Gemini, what do you think you’re doing?”

My voice is lost
, trapped in thickness.
Desire
. I’m shocked to find I want this man. Lust unfurls in my belly and it’s bad enough that I swear I can taste it. My tongue moistens my lips as my mouth has suddenly become as dry as the Sahara.

“Aren’t you going to answer me?”

His voice is deep, yet soft, and sends a current racing through me. Even though it’s only his hand touching me, I feel him all over my skin.

“Um, I
…” I find I have no words.

“Gemini, look at me.”

Oh God. I know if I do, I’ll be lost. I am so screwed.

“Gemini?”

My head tips upward and I’m nailed by his heated stare. He’s giving me the half-closed, sexy look.

“You can’t touch me like that and not expect repercussions.”

What does he mean by that?

“You don’t think I’m going to let you do that and not retaliate, do you? All I’ve been doing
since you walked into my life is fantasizing about fucking you and here you are, running your fingers across me. Do you think you can get away with teasing me like that?” I don’t have to wait long because as soon as he finishes his sentence, he’s on me like a cat on prey.

His kiss is pure heat and fire and it ignites one inside me. Our breath mingl
es as we consume each other with our tongues. His hands set my body aflame. Our actions are frenzied, crazed, and a part of my mind screams for control. But then I cut it off because for once, I don’t want or need control. I only want this to be about the moment.

He must’ve read my mind because he stops for a second and asks, “Do you want me to stop? Tell me now.”

“No! Please, don’t!” I pull him back to me.

“I don’t want this to be difficult for us afterward. Think about it before we go any further.”

“I don’t care about anything right now but this.” And that’s the damn truth. Maybe it will be difficult after, but if so, I’ll deal with it then.

“I know,
but are you prepared to handle the aftermath?”

“Yes
! I want you, Drex. Do you want me?” I’m suddenly barraged with doubt.

“Look at me.
Touch me. Feel what you do to me. Do you even have to ask?”

His lips are parted and those damn eyes draw me in. But when my gaze drifts down to his boxers,
I find my answer. My hand reaches for him, and when I feel how hard he is, I know there’s no stopping us now. We both know it. I sit up and pull my shirt off and watch him as he studies me. The rise and fall of his chest quickens, matching mine. I hold my breath as his hand extends because I know what he’s going to do and I’m not sure I’ll be able to stand it. When his thumb slides across and pinches my nipple, it feels as though a million sparks ignite in my belly and radiate outward. My back arches as I push myself closer to him and sigh. I drop my head back and let the sensations take over.