Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (77 page)

“Let’s go. My car is outside.”

He groaned squeezing his eyes shut before he pushed me off his lap. “No, I have to be in Memphis tomorrow.”

He was responsive when I climbed back on his lap and I could tell it’d been a while for him but he was also conflicted. By the time we made it to the parking lot, he was telling me once again that he needed to leave.

I tried once more.

“C’mon Jameson, I’ll take
good
care of you.” I purred stroking the front of his jeans.

He wasn’t hard, but he was slightly aroused as I heard the hitch in his breath when my hand slipped inside his jeans.

“Doubt that.” He grasped my hand firmly and pulled away. “I
can’t
. I only have a couple hours.” He said once again.

“It’ll only take a couple
minutes
.”

It took an hour of me convincing him before we had more drinks in the parking lot which consisted of me just getting him drunk to the point he fell into my car.

Once inside my hotel room, I stripped immediately hoping to convince him to stay. It wasn’t until he was hovering over me and fumbling with his jeans that he once again hesitated. His hooded drunken eyes met mine.

I smiled but he didn’t. His brow furrowed as though he was trying to focus. His hand slammed down on the bed before he growled in frustration. “Fuck!”

“What’s the matter?”

No guy had ever been this hesitant with me. They never needed encouragement and usually jumped at the chance to get in bed with me.

Jameson leaned back and then sat up on his knees. His jeans were unzipped but still on, but his shirt was removed revealing an impressive amount of muscle.

“I can’t do this,” he mumbled running his hands through his hair. He swayed slightly as though the alcohol in him was enough to make the room spin.

“Sure you can. Here, let me.” I pulled his pants down and climbed on him quickly. Before I could get him inside, he grasped my hips roughly and pushed me off him. I thought for sure he’d leave now but instead he reached for a condom in his wallet. He still seemed hesitant but now he seemed more upset than anything.

“I’m on the pill, you don’t need that.”

“Yes I do.” His eyes darted to mine, his head was bent forward. Just his eyes met mine through his dark lashes. “I never go without one.” He said firmly glaring.

Now I knew he was angry just by the tone of his rough voice.

Jameson leaned forward, hovering over me again. His knees nudged my legs apart.

I had other plans and went for the prize in front of me and tried to get him off with my mouth.

Only problem, he wouldn’t let me touch him.

“Get up.” He pulled on me roughly pushing me back against the bed. “I don’t do that sort of thing.”

“What, oral sex? You have to be shitting?”

“You’re not really helping your chances right now.” He replied with another glare as this time he started to pull away.

“Listen, I’m sorry. I just wanted to show you a good time.”

“It’s not going to happen.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant by that because the next thing I knew, we were having sex and then he was leaving.

I sat there on the edge of the bed wondering what in the hell just happened. I knew he came. I felt the tensing of his muscles and his heavy breathing.

But the strangest thing was that he never looked at me and when I tried to kiss him, he turned his head.

“Wow—really?” I asked when he was almost at the door.

He turned sharply as anger pulsed in his hard eyes. “You knew goddamn well what this was. Don’t give me that shit and act like I hurt your feelings.”

“I didn’t really think you were that much of an asshole.”

After rolling his eyes, Jameson chuckled darkly opening the door. “Says the woman who just begged me to fuck her,”

The door slammed shut behind him.

I felt incredibly dirty and used but it was what I asked for.

Jameson’s cold, distant eyes never held any emotion around me. I wasn’t sure what I expected but it was somewhat comforting to know that he never showed any interest or preference for any woman that I had noticed.

He never spoke directly to me again without needing to.

I thought back to that night with him, ashamed I was so fucking desperate but every girl in the media industry within NASCAR talked about how unobtainable Jameson Riley was.

In a sense, they were absolutely right.

We may have had sex but it was only because he was so drunk he couldn’t think straight and I forced myself on him. He never kissed me, his hands stayed griping the pillow behind my head and he never once looked at me. I was simply a girl he could use.

I knew that though.

As time went on, I slept with half the guys on his team but he never noticed. I will say that Mason was a good time as was Kyle, but none of them held my attention the way Jameson did and that was only because he really was unobtainable.

Even with all that he never paid any mind to me again; didn’t even look my way. He was too caught up in racing as that was all that ever mattered to him. The strangest thing was I’d been with my fair share of athletes but Jameson was more single-minded than any of them.

Eventually I did give up. No guy was worth it if you had to sacrifice your dignity.

Piston

Caitlyn Daniel – Lernerville Speedway

August 2000

Piston – A partly hollow cylindrical part closed at one end, fitted to each of the engines cylinders and attached to the crankshaft by a connecting rod. Each piston moves up and down in its cylinder transmitting power created by the exploding fuel to the crankshaft via a connecting rod.

Sometimes a girl just needs to let loose and forget about being responsible.

That’s exactly what I did that night at Lernerville Speedway.

I was seventeen and looking to have a good time. It wasn’t exactly what I hoped for but it was eventually what I needed to wake up to reality. My boyfriend had just dumped me because I wouldn’t have sex with him, I failed my finals and had to take summer school and then got the news my parents were getting a divorce. It wasn’t exactly shaping up to be the best summer of my life so I went out with my friends.

“Who’s that guy?”

“Which one?”
Carter, my cousin, looked over the drivers as they lined up on the front stretch for driver introductions.
“The blonde or the one with the brown rusty hair?”

“The rusty hair,”

“I think that’s Jameson Riley.” Carter looked down at the program in his hands. “He won the Triple Crown a few years back but I’m not sure if that’s him or not.”

My friends and I sat there in the blazing heat of the Midwest summer as the races began. It was my first time to Lernerville Speedway or any race track. In a town like Sarver Pennsylvania there’s not much to offer a seventeen year old girl. I was surprised I hadn’t been here before.

The racing was boring but the drivers were somewhat of an entertainment once we were in the pits that night. My cousin, Carter, was
friends with the blonde driver who I later found out was
Justin West. And the rusty haired racer who won was in fact Jameson Riley.

Jameson and the Justin guy stayed close by each other along with another driver Tyler Sprague.

Justin and Tyler were both very flirty but not Jameson.

I spent the entire night trying to gain his attention with all my attempts going unnoticed by him.

After a few hours he was so drunk he passed out in the bed of his truck.

My friend, Sarah, who was with me and Carter, nudged my shoulder as we sat around a campfire outside the pits were the guys had moved their haulers.

“Now’s your chance,” she said pointing towards Jameson stumbling to the bathrooms. “Go get him.

So I did.

I followed him through the dark dusty parking lot and yelled after him, “Hey, wait up.”

He turned and looked over his shoulder before turning back around to look where he was walking. “Wait for what?”

“Me, I don’t want to walk in the dark alone.”

Jameson didn’t say anything but did slow his pace allowing me to catch up with him.

I slipped my hand inside his arm, his hands stayed buried in his pockets but his body tensed when I touched him.

“What are you doing?” he stopped walking and glanced over at me curiously but he also seemed annoyed. I was familiar with the annoyance. Wade, my ex-boyfriend, had a similar look to him when I said I wouldn’t sleep with him. I was a virgin and afraid he’d be disappointed with my lack of experience. He broke up with me after that so now my mission was to sleep with someone, anyone, but this guy Jameson, was definitely a step up from Wade. I was lucky he was even looking my direction.

“Well...” I began glancing up at Jameson’s eyes. I was surprised to find a pair of gorgeous green eyes that even in the dark shadow seemed to shine. “I’ve been throwing myself at you all night hoping you’d get the point but you didn’t so now I’m trying to be more obvious.”

“I figured you’d get the hint by now.” He said roughly.

“And what hint’s that?” I pulled myself closer to his rigid posture. His muscles along his stomach tightened when I slipped my hands under his shirt. He was muscular, more muscular than I imagined he would be but he also seemed aggravated.

“I’m not...” he pulled away holding me at arm length. “
...interested.”

Then he pulled away completely and walked into the men’s bathrooms. I was still waiting there, why, I’m not sure. Desperate I guess. After being rejected by Wade and now this Jameson guy, you’d think I would have given up for the sake of my pride but there was something keeping me from leaving. Losing my virginity for one and two, I wanted to know why he was so angry at my advances. Wouldn’t most men jump at the chance of a willing girl?

When he stumbled out and saw me still standing there, he chuckled. “That desperate, huh?” he asked rudely.

I should have walked away right then. No girl should be treated like that but I couldn’t stop myself.

I walked back with him, neither of us spoke until we got back to what I assumed was his hauler and truck when I saw his brother, who seemed a lot nicer than him, laying in the grass beside it sleeping. His car had already been loaded along with his gear and bag thrown in the back of the truck.

It appeared as though he was leaving so I asked, “You’re not leaving drunk, are you?”

“Nah, I’m going to crash in my truck.”

His eyes darted around the parking lot when a group of guys off in the distance yelled.

“Fuck her against the truck!” One yelled at us.

Jameson glared in the darkness and mumbled something I couldn’t hear and then leaned against the side of the truck for a moment.

“Is there room for me in there?” I asked once more telling myself it was the last time I’d beg him.

He sighed closing his eyes and looked back in the darkness at the rowdy crowd. While he didn’t say yes, he didn’t say no either just turned towards his truck and opened the door to the backseat of his four-door truck. Reaching around in the bed, he grabbed another beer from the cooler and then got inside in the other seat. After he finished his beer, he tossed the can on the floorboard and asked, “You coming over here or what?”

I was throwing myself at him and into his lap. He knew what he wanted and it didn’t take long before my shirt was off and he was messing with a condom. I really wasn’t sure exactly what to do but he knew so I just did what he did. Steadying myself with my hands resting on the back of the seat, I lowered my hips on him. It burned, it hurt and I gasped but other than that I tried not to let on it was my first time but I think he must have noticed.

“You should have told me.” He grunted but made no attempt to stop so neither did I.

Jameson didn’t kiss me, just kept his head against the headrest with his eyes closed and his hands hung loosely on my hips moving me the way he wanted.

I kissed along his neck, desperate for some sort of contact, the entire thing seemed so distant to me. He let me kiss along his neck and eventually his arms wrapped around me tighter as he pulled me against him more quickly. It felt like he just wanted to get it over with. Sure enough, his movements got more forceful and he eventually shuddered with a soft string of grunts and jerking movements of his hips before slumping against me.

I laughed lightly when he sighed. “You seemed to enjoy that.”

He made a deep chuckle noise and then motioned with his head for me to get up.

I tried to kiss him again when he turned his head and said. “You should uh...get your clothes on. I need to get some sleep.”

As I got dressed, him seemed even more agitated than before as he stared down at his cell phone in his hand. I noticed a picture of a beautiful brunette on the screen and thought it was probably his girlfriend he just cheated on.