Trading Paint (Racing on the Edge) (75 page)

“Are you okay
...
I mean
...
are you sure, Sway? We’ve never
...
”

I couldn’t believe how badly I was shaking, it was sad.

Stop shaking asshole, you’re not a virgin!
I told myself.

He didn’t listen,
nope,
he was far too engrossed in this woman before him offering herself up to him in the most intimate way. Now look at me, I’m shaking like a fool and speaking in the third person.

Pull yourself together!
I told him sternly.

“Are you
sure
? We’ve never discussed
...
friends with benefits before.” My voice was so weak it didn’t even sound like me.

Sway smiled shyly, nodding.

“Sway?”

Please
honey,
see what I feel for you. Look into my eyes and I’ll show you.

“Yes?” she wouldn’t look at me, but the nervousness was there.

I wanted to say,
“You’re nervous? Hah!
How do you think I feel!”
but I didn’t.

Instead, I settled on something more simple and vague.

“Are you sure, honey?” my voice was rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly. I don’t know why I kept asking but I had to be sure.

“Yes.” She croaked softly, her eyes searched mine.

That’s all the encouragement I needed, I was naked lying in between her legs, believe me when I say I didn’t need much encouragement any more. I was one sigh away from crumbling and telling her how I felt.

Obsequiously crazed by her beauty for years, who knew the night I won the biggest race of my career would be the night I ended up in bed with my best friend.

You’d think at some point, the confident, more stable me would have taken over, but no, I was still fumbling when I reached for the condom, dropped it and then had to search for it on the floor.

Talk about frustrating.

Gathering my wits, I got the condom on and settled between her legs once more.

My hand, yeah the shaking one, reached between us to guide myself into her. My lips were at her ear, my breathing harsh and staggered. That harsh staggering breathing halted altogether when I pushed forward.

Holly
fuck
!

I looked deeply into her eyes and saw the apprehension melt into raw unconcealed lust. Her hands slid down the planes of my body and came to rest at the base of my spine. My mind was hazy as I struggled to hold onto what remained of my control. I pulled back hesitantly, shaking with the effort, and slid smoothly in—her wet skin massaging me the whole way. Sway panted heavily in my ear, and the scorching heat of her breath intensified the sensations elsewhere. She pulled at my waist, encouraging my movements and spurring me on. It all felt so good
...
I wanted more of her
...
wanted more of the pleasurable sensations.

I completely lost the ability to form a coherent thought as her mouth, tongue and hands moved around me.
Never in my life had something felt
so
good as when I entered her.
Nothing.

Not even the first time I discovered how good bleeding your pressure valve was when I was thirteen. And n
ever in my life had I imagined this moment to be so intense, so consuming. I never wanted the feeling to end.

It took every single ounce of self-control I could rally not to lose myself the moment I was inside of her—c
ompletely lost in it for a long moment, clutching her tightly to me with my hands on her upper arms.

She gasped, her body tensing around me.

I froze, not that I’d moved yet anyway but so much as breathing seemed wrong.

“Are you all right? Should I stop?”

Sway nodded, holding on to me tighter. Kissing her, I poured everything I had into those kisses, wanting her to
feel
the love I had for her even if I couldn’t tell her.

I held her hands above her head against the pillow before hitching her leg further, my head dipped down to whisper low and seductively in her ear.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this.” I panted as I slowly began to move.

Sway moaned, her mouth finding my own as her chest arched into me, responding willingly to every movement. Her kisses were urgent and full of passion, igniting the burning desire I already had for her.

Trailing kisses down her jaw, throwing her head back, she moaned again while her tiny hands caressed me. It was agony to go slow, but it was the only way. Just the friction, the warmth of her around me was like nothing I’d ever felt before.

“You like that?” I realized right about now, I was panting like a fucking idiot. I couldn’t have looked any more out of control. It was ridiculous. Talk about losing all dignity. I could race six hundred miles but I couldn’t keep my breathing under control when it came to Sway and being inside her.

“Fuck yes,” she moaned again, her eyes squinted shut in pleasure. “Harder.”

Pleasure shot through my spine and between my legs.

I chuckled. “Honey, that I can do,” I growled in her ear. “Ride my camshaft.” I flipped her over so I could see all of her. The faint light from the rising sun shined down through the break in the curtains. Her skin glowed as if she was on fire. “So you like car talk, huh?” I asked taking a firm hold on her hips.

“Yes,” her back arched at the confession, throwing her head back.

For someone who hated to have anything on his skin, I loved the wetness seeping from her onto me, coating me. “I can tell you like car talk by all this assembly lube.”

She started moving faster, I gazed at her wanting this to last forever. This beautiful creature moving against me was mine, for tonight anyway and I didn’t want it to end. “Ah honey, slow down
...
please
slow down,” I moaned nonsensically, fighting my orgasm back. She did thankfully with a giggle, but it didn’t stop us from dirty talking.

Once the dirty talking increased, I found it harder and harder not to come. Not wanting this to end, I fought for control. There were no guarantees once this was over. This could be it for us, the only time we’d ever truly share ourselves with one another. I didn’t want that to end.

She didn’t like the level the dirty talking reached at one point and finally yelled, “Okay shut up.” She slapped me. “Just
fuck
me already!”

Oh Jesus, that’s not helping my control.

I fucked her all right. Judging by her moans and downright screams—I’d say she was enjoying this. My mouth quirked into a small smile as one of my eyebrows rose arrogantly when I was sure her moans could be heard outside this hotel room.

That just earned me another slap to my shoulder. “You shut up.”

Every move she made my body came alive, the burning sensation spinning out of control. Beads of sweat were running down my body, the heat was unbearable.
Having her that close, all around me, was suffocating me in the most intoxicating way.
Gasping for breaths, I was completely overcome by this and annoyed with myself that I couldn’t pull get my shit together and act normal.

And though we were connected, it still wasn’t enough. Moving inside her wasn’t enough, I had the urge to crawl inside her and stay there. I could feel emotions stirring inside me that had never been let out before because really, I’d never done something like this before. As much as it appeared to be just sex between
drunk
people, it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Not with two people that spent their whole lives growing closer and closer until they didn’t know each other apart from one another. It could never be just sex.

The way she moved, the sounds, the feelings
...
it was too much. When her back arched again, her legs tightening around me, I lost it.

“Oh god Sway,” I grunted in a loud gasp against her shoulder. “
fuck
...
I’m sorry
...
can’t hold on any longer
...
”

My orgasm hit me hard, wrenching jerking waves. Dropping my head to the pillow, I let go completely. I faintly registered Sway crying out against me, her fingertips dug forcefully into my skin, holding me against her. The tidal wave washed over me, crumbling but I could feel
every
sensation. It was by far the best orgasm of my life.

As soon as I pulled out of her, I knew I was in trouble. I didn’t want to stop and that was a problem. A strange tangle of emotions ran through me in that moment. I was okay with not wanting to stop. We could have more, right? If anyone, I could have more with her.

Placing kisses against her shoulder, I chuckled. My voice was rough from all that ridiculous panting I’d been doing.

Coughing, I cleared my throat.

“Why were we not doing that from the beginning?”

Sway shook her head throwing her arms over her face embarrassed.

“Because, we were eleven you pervert.” She sighed before looking back at me.

My fingers traced along her cheek and down her neck, our breathing starting to slow. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“No.” she whispered, her eyes strangely determined as she looked at me.

I wanted to ask her what she was thinking but instead she leaned forward and I kissed her softly losing that train of thought. I don’t know if it was all the alcohol we consumed or what we’d just done, but I was exhausted after that. Completely spent from a day of internally debating, racing, and the most intense physical sensations I’d ever felt.

I must have fallen asleep after that because when I came around again, Sway wasn’t in bed with me.

I started to panic thinking she left until I felt her slide back into the bed with me. The sun had risen so I got a clear view of her naked body as she pulled the covers over her.

God she is beautiful.

She seemed nervous and anxious as she stayed on the edge of the bed.

Pulling her against my chest, I closed my eyes thinking of what we’d just done and wanting to wash away any fear she had that this wouldn’t work.

My brain raced to find a way for this to work but I couldn’t get over the idea that we just had sex.

I had sex with my best friend. The best sex of my entire life, but still, it was with my best friend.

Beyond a doubt, in that moment, I was in love with her. If I ever had a doubt, I couldn’t deny it now. It was scary, intense, controlling and scary
...
mostly scary.

Almost exactly eleven years ago today, I met this girl. Over the course of our relationship—I fell, slowly and hard. Now, there was no going back.

“Have you ever thought about this before?” I whispered into the eerie silence of the room knowing she could hear me. My voice soft and soothing as my lips danced across her skin.

“Thought about
...
?”

“This
...
” My arms tightened around her, kissing her skin once more.

“Yes and no,” she told me.

Closing my eyes, I let out the breath I’d been holding. I wanted to ask her what she felt and if this was something she wanted to do again but my voice failed me.

Though I pretended to, I couldn’t sleep. Instead, I held her close, listening to her breathing, praying I hadn’t made a mistake. But I also knew this was Sway and it couldn’t have been a mistake. This was us. There should be no reason for anything with us to be a mistake when everything came naturally. Just like tonight, nothing was awkward, well besides my shaking and self-control but that’s to be expected, look at her. Any man worth his salt would be intimated by this flawless being.

I also knew it wouldn’t be enough. I craved her like a junkie. I needed it.
My body felt like it was still a parched man in the desert and I could have gallons of water, but I was still able to feel the pain of a dry throat. I had to have more of her.

She had disintegrated me to ash and to be this way with her was the most fulfilling feeling I had ever had.

Action is no less necessary than thought to the instinctive tendencies of the human frame.

~
Ghandi

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