Trade Winds (Choc Lit) (34 page)

He breathed in the warm smell of her skin one last time, then said, ‘Shall we go to bed now? It’s late and you must be tired.’

She murmured assent and as they made their way down to the deck below and their cabin, Killian found he was content to just sleep in the same room as her. As long as they were together, that was all that mattered.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The high, tree-less mountains of Tenerife faded into the distance and the ship set off into the Atlantic. Obliging winds pushed them in a huge arc towards South America first and then heading down to the southernmost tip of Africa. The debilitating heat did become almost unbearable. Jess spent most of her time trying to cool down with a crude fan Killian persuaded the English carpenter to make out of thin sticks of wood and some leftover sail canvas. It helped a little, but not much. Mostly she lived for the evenings when Killian was able to escort her up on deck and a welcome breeze cooled her overheated body.

‘It’s a good thing the queasiness has passed,’ Killian commented, as they sat side by side in a corner of the sundeck, enjoying the fresh night air. ‘You’re sure you feel well in every other way?’

‘Yes, I’m fine, just hot. Don’t worry.’

‘Of course I worry, so much can go wrong.’

‘With the baby, you mean?’

‘Not just that, but people seem to be dying of all sorts of things. Why only yesterday, two sailors went down with a putrid fever. It could be contagious and the barber-surgeon is helpless to prevent it.’

Fevers weren’t the only things that killed. Conditions on board were so cramped that other illnesses, like dysentery, were rife. Despite a daily scrubbing of the decks with water and a weekly cleaning out of the lower deck where the sailors slept, it was almost impossible to keep the ship clean. As the days wore on, the food supplies dwindled and a lot of the food turned bad. Maggots or mould in the ship’s biscuits were so common only a few people grumbled about it. The
 salted meat and fish tasted rancid and even the drinking water was disgusting. As the beer was all gone, however, there was no choice but to drink the water or die of thirst.

Then there were the fleas … Jess scratched at a particularly itchy patch on her skin and tried to remember a time when she had felt comfortable. The journey already seemed interminable and they weren’t even halfway yet.

‘I wonder how my mother is coping?’ she said. ‘I wish Robert hadn’t sent me away just when she needed me most.’ She thought of her small brother whom she would never see again. Life could be so cruel sometimes. Although she’d told Killian they had to be positive, it was difficult not to be afraid for her own baby when she remembered how fragile James had been.

Killian took her hand and plaited his fingers with hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. ‘Little James will live on in her heart, and although it will be hard for her at first, time does lessen the grief eventually. Besides, she has Ramsay to think of and for all his faults, I do believe Robert will do his best to console her too. He was just as distraught, Albert said. Together they’ll cope.’

‘I hope you’re right.’ Jess took comfort from the warm sensation of his fingers around hers. It gave her a feeling of security, as if she was safe with him next to her. ‘I wonder what Albert is doing now?’ she said to distract herself from thinking about how close Killian was.

‘Yes. I sent him a letter from Cadiz, explaining what had happened, but I don’t know whether he’ll have received it yet.’

‘Let’s hope he’s not having trouble with Robert, but with Mr Milner’s help he should have been able to prove that the company belongs to us. I signed all the papers before I left and Albert will keep it running for us until we return, don’t you think?’

‘I’m sure he will. If there’s one man we can trust, it’s Albert.’

Jess just wished she could be sure they would be coming back at all.

Ten days after first spotting the Cape doves and other sea birds such as the huge albatross, they began to take soundings in the green, muddy water. This was in order to avoid running aground on the bank that surrounded the Cape of Good Hope and Africa’s southernmost tip, Cape Agulhas. Campbell had no intention of stopping to replenish their stores, however, as this part of the world belonged to the Dutch. They didn’t even sail close enough to see land.

‘No point advertising our presence,’ he said curtly. ‘It would be too risky.’

The weather turned steadily colder and stormier, and winter clothing had to be found and put on again. Jess and Killian weren’t alone in wearing fur – most of the sailors had sheepskin coats that seemed to keep their suppleness even when wet. Without them Jess didn’t think they would have survived.

Although the cold was a blessing in many ways, the sudden drop in temperature also brought on chest infections and head colds. Jess woke up one morning to find Killian still in his bed, his face flushed and his breathing uneven. She rushed over to his bunk and shook his arm.

‘Killian? Killian, are you all right?’

He opened his eyes, which were bloodshot and fever-glazed, their usual bright blue dulled with pain. ‘Throat hurts,’ he croaked. ‘So hot. Head aches fit to burst.’ Jess had never seen him anything other than healthy and she was suddenly terrified.

‘Hold on. I’ll get Adair to fetch some broth and some cold water and cloths.’

Killian didn’t respond, which made her even more anxious, but when Adair finally arrived with the broth, Killian managed to sit up and take it. ‘Ouch,’ he muttered and it was clear he was having trouble swallowing. When he’d finished every last drop, Jess started to sponge his forehead with cold water, hoping to bring his fever down. It seemed to work for a while, but then he started to shiver instead.

‘S-so co-cold,’ he muttered, his teeth chattering. ‘More b-blankets.’

Jess had already given him all hers and she didn’t think anyone else would have any to spare. She looked at Killian and suddenly remembered his words to her during that sleigh ride so long ago.
Shared body heat is the second best thing for keeping warm.
‘Of course,’ she said out loud and pushed Killian further towards the wall. ‘Move over, I’ll make you warm.’

‘What?’ he croaked, but she ignored him and lay down, wrapping her arms and one leg around him. There was barely room for the two of them in the narrow bunk.

She could feel him racked by violent shivers, but after a while they subsided until finally he was still. ‘Nice,’ he murmured, then startled her by opening his eyes and staring straight into hers. ‘Guess I should be ill more often.’

His husky voice sent a tremor down her spine and Jess blinked. Her gaze flickered to his mouth, which was only inches away. She was overcome by a sudden urge to kiss him, the temptation so strong she almost gasped out loud. He smiled as if he could read her mind, that teasing smile she knew so well, but then she remembered he was feverish and probably not aware of what he was doing.

‘Don’t you dare be ill again,’ she said firmly. ‘My nerves couldn’t stand it.’

‘Why is that then?’ He was staring intently at her now, as if her reply really mattered. Jess wasn’t sure what to make of this, so shrugged and pretended indifference.

‘I don’t want to be left alone on this ship with just Adair for company.’

‘Is that the only reason?’ He extricated one of his hands from under the blankets and put it round her waist, pulling her closer. Jess looked away from his penetrating gaze.

‘Well, no. I … I don’t want to lose you. I mean, I want our child to have a father.’ She added half jokingly, ‘I wouldn’t wish a stepfather on anyone, you know that.’

He kept his arm around her for a moment longer as if he was waiting for more, then let go. Jess had the feeling he was disappointed by her answer. She wondered if she should tell him there was another reason too, one that was much more important. But she found it impossible to bare her soul when she didn’t know if he’d want to hear what she had to say.

‘Don’t worry. You’re not getting rid of me yet,’ he said and closed his eyes. ‘And now I’m hot again, so you can get up and continue with that infernal sponge instead.’

Jess raised herself on one elbow and stared down at him, but he didn’t look up again. She sighed and sat up.

Why was everything so complicated?

Killian soon recovered. Others were not so lucky and more crew members died before they began the long trek across the Indian Ocean, where the climate changed yet again.

They sighted the island of St Paul’s at the beginning of July and sailed fairly close to land, although they didn’t try to go ashore.

‘We can’t afford to lose any time,’ Campbell said emphatically. ‘If we don’t make it into the China Sea by August, we could be stuck waiting for favourable winds for nearly six months. Unthinkable.’

The island seemed to be fairly sterile in any case, hardly worth exploring, so no one complained. Everyone was eager to reach Java, where they knew they would be able to replenish their supplies and stop briefly.

Jess grew bigger every day, or at least it felt that way. ‘I’m turning into a whale,’ she complained to Killian, but he was entranced by the kicking of his child which could be clearly felt and didn’t take any notice. She let him lay the palms of his hands against her abdomen whenever they went for their evening walks around deck. They were both amazed at the strength of the baby’s kicks.

‘It’s a wild one,’ Killian commented with a smile. ‘I hope it’s not a girl or she’ll be a real hoyden.’

Adair’s shirts no longer fitted Jess and she had to resort to borrowing Killian’s. Soon it became impossible to hide either her pregnancy or her sex, but to their surprise most of the crew members took the news calmly. So too did Campbell, when they informed him about the baby. This was mostly because Killian hit on the idea of telling the supercargo that Captain Trolle was sure to disapprove. The two men were still at odds and this ignited the fuse again.

‘It’s nothing to do with the captain,’ Campbell growled. ‘This ship is under my command and it was my decision to allow your wife to stay on board. It’s unfortunate she is
enceinte
, but if, as you say, this was something that happened long before she set foot on the ship, it couldn’t have been avoided obviously.’

‘No and I would have taken her back to Gothenburg myself, if I’d known.’

‘No point in thinking about it now. It’s happened and that’s that. I will inform everyone and make it clear your wife is to be treated with respect.’

Despite his ongoing battles with the captain, who seemed either unwilling or unable to acknowledge that Campbell had the final say in everything, the Scotsman ran the ship with a firm but fair hand. For the most part, he was obeyed.

Killian had also made himself popular by his willingness to help out with the most menial of tasks. He wanted to learn everything there was to learn about sailing and trading and the men respected him for it. This meant that he only received the occasional envious glance when he finally dared to escort Jess up to sit under an awning on the sundeck during the day. No one complained openly.

He hoped it would stay that way.

The final part of the journey passed unbearably slowly for Jess, who was praying they would reach China before her time came.

She couldn’t help but be enchanted by what she could see of Java, however. There were endless coasts bathed in bright sunlight and tightly covered with trees, their reflections giving the water the same deep green colour. Turtles floated in the water around them, and the small, dark-haired natives went around almost naked apart from cotton loincloths. Still, she didn’t want to linger and was relieved when Campbell ordered the ship to sail on after only a brief stop to take on board supplies of food and water.

The milk from the strange coconuts refreshed her and made her feel stronger. Killian made sure she had a large supply of these, as well as various fresh fruits, the likes of which neither of them had ever seen before.

‘I’m sure these are doing the baby the world of good,’ she said to him, licking the juice off her fingers.

‘Yes, and they’re delicious too. Apart from this one, which tastes like soap.’ He pointed to a greenish one and Jess laughed.

‘I didn’t realise you’d ever been so destitute you had to eat soap. Poor you.’

‘Oh, there’s a lot you don’t know about me.’ He grinned at her and she smiled back.

‘I’m learning.’

And she was. They had plenty of time to talk about everything under the sun and although he showed no signs of wanting her as a lover, she felt they were now very good friends. She tried to tell herself she was content with that.

They passed into the China Sea at last on the sixth of August and entered the final leg of their journey.

‘Thank the Lord for that,’ Campbell muttered. ‘Any later and we would never have made it. I only hope we’re not too late as it is.’

Killian hoped so too. He was watching Jess’ stomach increasing in size every day and prayed they’d make it to their destination before the baby was born.

Seven months after leaving Sweden, they reached the Chinese coast at long last. Campbell’s fears proved right, however, when they sailed into a storm which drove them off course. It began with a strong wind, which increased as the day went on and then torrential rain arrived with a vengeance.