Trade Winds (Choc Lit) (30 page)

Despite the help of a small sail, it took them the best part of two hours to reach the ship and by then it was already getting dark. Jess wondered how the rowers would find their way back, but assumed there would be lights on shore to guide them. As they came closer to the ship, the
Friedericus Rex Sueciae
, Jess marvelled at the sheer size of it. It towered over them, its three tall masts reaching towards the sky, although from where she was sitting, Jess couldn’t see the top of them. The figurehead, a rampant lion, bared its fangs at them menacingly and a strong smell of tar wafted into her nostrils, almost making her recoil.

They bobbed up and down next to the hull while each woman in turn was helped to climb up on deck. Jess was the last one, deliberately skulking behind the others in order to delay her confrontation with Killian for as long as possible. She heard the captain asking the wives who they’d come to see. Each woman said her name and was assigned a member of the crew to take them to their husband. While she waited, she looked around at the forest of ropes, some as thick as her calves, that hung everywhere or lay coiled into tidy heaps next to the railing. Up here, the ship didn’t seem quite as large any more. The conditions were cramped with crew members swarming all over the place.

‘Mrs Kinross,’ she mumbled when it was her turn.

The captain nodded and told the young sailor waiting to escort her, ‘Downstairs, second cabin on the right.’

‘Yes, sir. This way, Ma’am.’

She followed him down a short flight of stairs to the deck below and over to a cabin on the right hand side of the ship. The man knocked, but there was no answer, so he opened the door to look inside.

‘He might be up in the main cabin, Ma’am. If you’d just step inside and wait here, I’ll see if I can find him for you.’

‘Thank you, that’s very kind.’

Jess closed the door and leaned her back against it. She shut her eyes for a moment, trying to gather her strength. What could she say to Killian?
I’ve come to apologise for lying to you. I did enjoy your lovemaking, very much so, but I was afraid you would have too much of a hold over me if I let you do it again
. It sounded silly, even to her, but it was how she felt and somehow she had to make him understand they needed a compromise.

The cabin was tiny, with a narrow bunk on either side and only one small porthole. She walked the few steps over to it to look out, but couldn’t see anything except water and darkness. There was nothing of interest inside the cabin either, so she sat down on one of the bunks to wait, trying to calm her nerves as best she could.

It seemed to be taking the sailor an extremely long time to find Killian and she started to wonder if her husband was avoiding her on purpose. Well, too bad, she wasn’t leaving until she’d seen him. She became bored and smothered several yawns. The long night before, when she’d tossed and turned, unable to sleep after Albert’s visit, was catching up with her. Resigned to a long wait, she decided to lie down for a moment and close her eyes. Perhaps that would make time pass more quickly.

Both bunks had a pile of blankets, folded neatly and stacked at the foot end. She shook out the ones on the left bunk and lay down. It was cold in the cabin and she shivered despite her fur coat, so she pulled the blankets over herself until only the tip of her nose was sticking out. Warm and snug at last, she drifted off.

Killian didn’t have a chance to return to his cabin until late in the evening. At first, he was busy overseeing the stowing of more goods below decks, where he helped Colin Campbell to personally check everything one last time. Then the captain asked all the supercargos and their assistants to dine with him in the main cabin. There was no time to go back and change, even if he’d wanted to, which he didn’t. It was so damned cold, he refused to remove any clothing unless he absolutely had to. In fact, he wore the bearskin coat all the time except when in the main cabin, which was heated by braziers.

‘We’ll be off with the tide at first light,’ Mr Campbell informed them and raised his glass. ‘To a successful voyage, gentlemen.’ His blue eyes were sparkling with excitement and Killian felt some of it rub off on him. They were going on an adventure.

‘To a successful voyage,’ they all chorused.

They dined well on fillet of beef and several other delicious dishes prepared by the cabin cook who only catered for the higher ranking members of the crew. The excellent food was washed down with a very tolerable red wine, and everyone’s spirits were high. Killian suppressed all thoughts of Jessamijn and the battle with Robert she would have to face on her own. It was no longer his problem, he had helped all he could. His main task was to stay alive and to bring back as much profit as possible, so their marriage hadn’t been entered into in vain.

Then, and only then, would he be able to turn his thoughts to taming his wife. And tame her he would, he was determined about that. He wanted to stay in Sweden to build up the merchant business and he would prefer to do so with Jessamijn at his side. He was sure she would be a great asset. Now that he was married, he would honour the oaths he’d taken and ‘cleave himself only unto her’, like the Bible said. In order to achieve this, however, he had to make their marriage work somehow.

It surprised him how strongly he felt about this. No woman in particular had ever mattered to him before, they simply came and went when he needed one. Being married to Jess felt different though and he hadn’t made the vows lightly. No matter what, he was going to stay faithful to her. After all, he thought, he wasn’t like Farquhar who apparently treated his wife like dirt.

Feeling bone weary, Killian made his way to what was to be his home for the next year and a half at least. He had a lantern with a single candle, which he put down on the sea chest containing his belongings that had been placed on the floor between the two bunks.

‘Make sure you blow it out as soon as you reach the cabin to minimize the risk of fire,’ Campbell had told him, so he did. In the dark, he sat down on the right-hand bunk and pulled off his boots. Then he lay down, covering himself with first his bearskin coat, then the blankets. It was narrow, hard and uncomfortable. He thought it was a shame there wasn’t just one large bunk instead of these two smaller ones, but he supposed that sometimes the cabins had to be shared. No doubt he would become used to it.

On that thought, he was asleep in seconds.

Chapter Twenty-Five

When he woke at last, Killian could see daylight outside through the coating of frost on the porthole. It was freezing cold inside the cabin too, and he was reluctant to leave the warmth of his cocoon, but he had a feeling he was late. Mr Campbell would be expecting him. The motion of the ship had definitely increased, and he guessed they had begun their journey at last. They were lucky the sea hadn’t been frozen, he thought, which was all too common this time of year.

He shivered and turned around, only to come face to face with his wife.

Jess was lying on the opposite bunk, blinking sleep from her eyes and peering out from under a mountain of blankets. They caught sight of each other and both shot bolt upright, blue eyes colliding with silver grey.

‘Oh, no! Is … it’s not morning already?’ Jess stammered, staring at the brightness outside.

‘What the devil are you doing here?’ Killian asked, gripping the edge of the bunk in an effort to keep his temper under control. He didn’t bother to answer her question because any fool could see it was morning. He checked his pocket watch just to be sure and realised that it was, in fact, closer to midday. He wondered why no one had called him, but perhaps they had and he hadn’t heard them since he slept deeply.

‘I came with the other wives to say farewell. And I also wanted to …’

‘We already said our goodbyes,’ Killian snapped. ‘You couldn’t wait for me to leave, as I recall.’

‘That’s not true.’ Jess looked stung by his remark and frowned. ‘You were the one who couldn’t leave fast enough.’

‘Well, I didn’t exactly feel welcome. It was a relief to go on board the ship.’ He stood up, pulling the bearskin coat around him with angry, jerky movements and then bent to put on his boots without looking at her.

‘No, Killian, I … it’s not like that.’

He glared at her. ‘What is it like then? You’re sorry you married me and you resent having to give me half your money? Well, don’t worry. I told you, I’m going to make us both very rich and when this journey is over, I’ll pay you back every last coin. Then you can go and live by yourself or with whoever you prefer. That blond oaf perhaps, whose wife might have died in childbirth by then if you’re lucky. And maybe I’ll return to Scotland so you don’t have to see me again. How does that sound?’

He didn’t know why he was saying such hurtful things to her, but he was so angry he didn’t particularly care. He only wanted to make her feel as bad as he did himself.

Jess scowled at him. ‘I should have known you’d be unreasonable. You always twist my words to suit your own meaning. Well, fine, have it your way. I’m sure it’s what you prefer yourself anyway.’ She turned away and lay down again with a thump. Her voice slightly muffled by the blankets, she added, ‘Come back and tell me when there’s a boat to take me back to town.’

Killian stared at her for a while longer, then drew in a sharp breath as her words pierced the fog of rage swirling around inside him. ‘Hell and damnation!’ he swore, then tore out of the cabin at high speed, slamming the door shut behind him. He climbed the steps up to the main deck in seconds, then raced over to the railing. He turned his head this way and that, scanning their surroundings.

Water, just water all around them. Nothing else. Not even a faint smudge of land on the horizon.

He cursed again and grabbed a passing sailor by the arm. ‘Are we anywhere near land?’ he asked, his frantic expression making the man stare at him.

‘Land? No, sir. We left before first light, on account of the wind being fair and the currents good. We’re prob’ly halfway to the Shetlands by now.’

Killian groaned. ‘Oh, no …’

The sailor gave him a concerned look. ‘You all right, sir? If ye’re feelin’ queasy, best thing is to go and stand at the front o’ the ship, like. Just stare at the horizon.’

‘No, I don’t feel queasy, I’m fine. It’s just … oh, never mind. Where’s the captain?’

‘In his cabin, I s’pose.’

‘Yes, of course. Thank you.’

Killian approached the captain’s cabin with some trepidation. Although normally unfazed by most things, he really disliked unpleasant scenes. As he’d already noticed, the Swedish Captain Trolle was a bit of a loose cannon. There was no telling how he would react to the news that there was a female on board his ship. One who would have to be returned to Gothenburg, thereby delaying the journey by at least a day.

He knocked on the cabin door, but there was no reply. Instead he heard raised voices and recognised the guttural tones of the captain mixed with the loud and unmistakeable Scottish burr of the first supercargo, Colin Campbell. Although Killian couldn’t make out any individual words, there was no doubt the discussion was somewhat heated. He hesitated, wondering whether to return later, but then decided the matter simply couldn’t wait. He knocked again, louder this time. There was still no answer, so he opened the door and stepped inside, clearing his throat loudly.

‘Excuse me,’ he said, ‘could I have I word with you both please?’ He shut the door behind him to make sure the conversation was private.

The two men, who both wore scowls of frustration and annoyance, stopped in mid-sentence and glared at Killian. ‘Yes, what is it?’ the captain barked.

‘Erm, there is a slight problem.’

‘What’s the matter with you, man?’ Campbell put in impatiently. He seemed to be in a foul mood, his agitation demonstrated by the fact that his curled wig was askew. ‘Can’t you see we’re in the middle of a discussion here?’

‘Yes and I’m very sorry to intrude, but it’s my wife, sir. She’s in my cabin.’

‘She’s what?’ The two men stared at him, their expressions almost identical – horror mixed with disbelief, turning quickly to anger. ‘What do you mean? You know very well women aren’t allowed.’

Killian held up his hand. ‘Yes, I do know, and believe me, I didn’t ask her to come. In fact, we parted on fairly bad terms and I didn’t expect her to come on board with the other ladies to say goodbye.’ He shrugged. ‘Apparently she changed her mind and she arrived yesterday. Since I spent the afternoon with you, I never saw her and this morning I found her in my cabin, asleep. Someone had put her in there and forgotten to tell me.’

‘Devil take it, Kinross, didn’t you notice her last night when you went to bed?’ the captain spluttered.

‘No, I put the light out as soon as I got there, like you told me to. Then I went straight to sleep. She must have been there already and didn’t hear me come in.’

‘Lord help us.’ Campbell and the captain looked at each other.

‘What do we do now?’ Trolle asked.

‘Nothing we can do,’ Campbell replied. ‘She’ll have to stay. Perhaps we can find a ship in Cadiz to take her back?’

‘All alone? Surely not. No, we’ll have to turn back.’ For some reason, the captain was now looking smug, and Killian wondered why until Campbell turned on the man and almost shouted.