Trade Winds (Choc Lit) (29 page)

‘I have to say it serves him right, although I’m worried what it will do to my mother. I know she’s already in a bad way. I wish I could go to her this instant.’

Holm nodded, his expression sad. ‘Yes, poor woman. But I remember she was the same when your other siblings died young and she recovered from that, so perhaps in time she’ll get over this too. So very tragic.’

Jess nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

‘But there’s cause for celebration too, right? I’ve forgotten to congratulate you on your marriage. I hope you’ll be very happy together. I think you’ve chosen a good man, my dear.’ Holm smiled at Killian, who looked embarrassed by this praise.

‘You … you do?’ Jess was slightly stunned by Albert’s words. She hadn’t realised he liked Killian that much.

‘Oh, yes. If only he returns from his journey safe and sound, he’ll be a great asset to the company and I’m sure the two of you together will make it prosper. It will be a pleasure to work with you. That is, if you’ll still want me?’

‘But of course we do.’ Killian, who had until that moment stayed silent, agreed with Jess about this and they said the words at the same time, which made Albert laugh.

‘You see? You even think alike. Excellent.’

Jess thought it was a shame they couldn’t think alike in other ways too, but she supposed business would have to do for now. She should be pleased she had been vindicated with regard to Robert and soon she would be free of him altogether. She
was
pleased. Wasn’t she?

‘Right, now tell me exactly what we’re doing,’ she said, trying to sound businesslike. ‘Are there any papers for me to sign?’

‘There are indeed. I’ve brought them, so let’s begin.’

Chapter Twenty-Four

Edinburgh, Scotland

‘China? Are you serious?’ Farquhar stared at Allan, unable to believe what he was hearing.

‘Yes, Mr Kinross. The man your cousin works for told me himself. He’ll be gone for at least a year and a half, so I didn’t think there was any point in hanging around waiting for him. I can always go back later.’

Reluctantly Allan handed over the pouch of money Farquhar had given him, but Farquhar pushed it back across the table with an irritated sniff. ‘No, no, keep it. I’m sure you’ve earned at least that much. But China? What on earth does he want to go there for?’

‘Good profits to be made in the China trade, so I heard. I spent some time listening to the Scotsmen at the inn in Gothenburg. Those who could afford to had invested in the venture. They said they expected a return no less than tenfold on their money.’

‘As much as that? Dear Lord, he must be stopped.’ Farquhar was lost in thought for a moment. ‘Well, seems there’s nothing for it. I’ll have to go to China myself. I couldn’t ask you to go that far on my behalf.’

Allan squirmed and looked as if he was considering it, but then shook his head. ‘No, sorry, but I’ve never been tempted by foreign parts. Don’t think I’d survive another sea journey neither. Never been so ill in my life.’

Farquhar nodded. ‘Very well, so be it. Thank you for the information anyway. I trust you’ll keep this to yourself as usual? That’s if you want to do business with me again in the future?’

‘Nat’rally. You have my word.’

For what that’s worth
, Farquhar thought. Well, if Allan proved difficult, he’d have to be eliminated too. Lord, but things were becoming very complicated.
Damn Killian to hell!

Killian had been dreading spending time with Jessamijn in such close quarters as his lodgings. He found it impossible to be in the same room without wanting her, but to his relief Mr Campbell claimed most of his time and he was spared this torture. He was needed to help with the preparations for their journey and consequently he barely saw Jess at all.

‘You have to help me make sure everything I’ve ordered is brought on board,’ Campbell told him. ‘I don’t want even a single item to be missing, or we could be in trouble. I’ve prepared very carefully for this venture and should anything go amiss, it will be my responsibility.’

‘Don’t worry, Mr Campbell, I’ll make sure all is in order.’

Killian went on board the ship and oversaw the loading of both the cargo and all the provisions. A ballast of iron ore was brought out first and put on the lowest deck. This was covered with planking, then the rest of the cargo was placed on top – tar, copper, wooden items, iron products, followed by innumerable casks of fresh water and the food. It seemed to Killian that an inordinate amount of victuals were needed. Nearly two hundred sacks of ship’s biscuits were loaded, together with barrels of salted pork, stockfish, dried peas and barley-grain, not to mention butter and cheese. Naturally they couldn’t sail without the ubiquitous salted herring as well, and sacks of porridge oats by the dozen were necessary for their breakfasts.

Water wasn’t the only beverage; small beer,
snaps
for the crew members and wine for the captain’s table and the supercargos were stowed away. When all this was done, it was time to load the live animals which would be slaughtered along the way. The poor creatures – sheep, pigs, geese, chickens and even a milking cow – were put in pens, swine on the lower deck, the rest on the middle deck and none of them looked too happy about it, complaining loudly of their lot. The ship’s carpenters were kept busy fencing them in so that they would be safe in case of high seas. Killian wondered inconsequentially whether animals suffered from seasickness too.

Just when he thought the ship couldn’t hold any more, further supplies arrived. ‘What’s all this?’ he asked Campbell, who was working alongside him, checking and re-checking everything.

‘Extra wood, tar and building materials, in case anything will need to be mended, and ammunition for the cannon and other weapons. Candles for the lanterns, wood for cooking with, animal feed … the list is endless.’ Campbell sighed. ‘But we’ll soon be done and then we’ll be off. I just hope I haven’t forgotten anything.’

Amen to that
, Killian thought.

A cold draught and the momentary dancing of the flames in the fire alerted Jess to the fact that the door had opened silently behind her. She turned to see Killian standing just inside the room, his expression inscrutable, his eyes narrowed. A sudden longing to be held by him shot through her and she had to swallow a gasp.

‘I’m leaving in the morning so I’ve come to say goodbye. I’ll be spending the night at the inn with the supercargos,’ he said. ‘I shall do my very best to bring home as large a profit as possible for our company, then upon my return you can have your share and do whatever you want with it.’

Jess felt a huge weight of grief settle in her stomach, as if he were already dead. He was certainly lost to her, she could see that now. A week had passed and he’d kept her at arms’ length the entire time, not giving her the chance to so much as mention the word marriage. She had obviously driven him away with her stupid behaviour and there was no going back. She nodded, trying to accept her fate with good grace, but the pain of it gnawed at her insides, making her wrap her arms around herself to contain it. ‘God go with you,’ she said quietly. ‘I … I hope you return safely.’

‘Do you? Perhaps it would suit you better if I didn’t.’ He removed a package of documents from an inside pocket and threw it down onto the nearest table. ‘This contains my last will and testament, leaving you everything I own apart from the
Lady Madeleine.
Captain Craig knows what to do with that. I’ve also included a letter for my grandfather, telling him about you. If I don’t come back, I’d like you to visit him and tell him I wasn’t quite the wastrel he thought I was. Who knows, he might believe you.’

‘I … yes, of course, if that is what you want. I sincerely hope it won’t come to that though. And I would be … saddened if you didn’t return.’

‘Well, that’s comforting to know.’ She wasn’t sure if his words were sarcastic or bitter, but she didn’t like it either way. ‘God keep you too,’ he added. ‘Pray for us all.’

And with that he was gone, leaving Jess feeling completely numb.

She had lost him.

‘Jessamijn? Jess, are you there?’

A knock on the door woke Jess from a deep sleep and she stumbled to her feet and went to open it, forgetting to ask who it was. Luckily it was only Albert standing outside, shaking snow from his hair and looking a bit embarrassed.

‘Albert, I didn’t expect to see you here so late.’

Three days had passed since Killian left to board the ship, but she had barely noticed since time seemed to have no meaning for her at the moment. She frowned at him. ‘Is there some news?’ She caught up her hair, which had tumbled down while she slept, and twisted it into a loose knot at the nape of her neck, then tried to smooth her gown.

‘No, it was you I wanted to see.’ Albert shuffled from one foot to another, as if unsure what to do.

‘Well, come in.’ She motioned for him to enter. ‘It’s a bit of a mess, but I haven’t had time to tidy up today.’

Albert took a deep breath and walked over to the window, where he stood with his back towards her, staring into the darkness. The fresh smell of snow followed him and Jess realised she missed being outdoors. Surely it couldn’t be long now before everything was ready and they could confront Robert. Standing by the tile stove, she waited for Albert to speak. She knew he liked to think before he said anything, so she didn’t prompt him.

‘I don’t know if you’re aware of it, but the wives of the supercargos and higher ranking members of the crew are allowed to go on board the ship to say goodbye,’ Albert said at last, turning to give her a searching look. ‘I noticed you and your husband seem to be at loggerheads, but this is a dangerous journey he’s going on. You might want to think about settling your differences before he goes. Just in case …’

He let the last sentence hang, although Jess had already caught his meaning loud and clear. Killian might not be coming back and this could be her last chance to make peace between them. She sighed.

‘I know that, but I don’t think he’d be too happy to see me,’ she replied quietly. ‘The, er, misunderstanding between us is such that … well, it’s complicated. Besides, I thought the ship had left already?’

‘No, not yet. The winds have been contrary. The thing is, if something should happen to him, you might regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t speak to him now,’ Albert insisted. ‘I know. It happened to me.’

Jess’ eyes flew to his. ‘It did? When?’

‘My brother.’ Albert’s jaw was clenched tightly, the words coming out in short bursts. ‘Went to sea. Never came back. We’d had a disagreement before he left. I wish …’ He stared at the floor. ‘It was all so unnecessary.’

‘I see.’ Jess didn’t know what to say, but she realised he was right. She had to try and apologise to Killian before it was too late. ‘Very well, I’ll go. How do I get there?’

‘At midday, be down by the bridge at Stora Hamnen. There’ll be a carriage to take all the ladies to Fiskebeck, out by Rive Fjord. A boat will be waiting to ferry you out to the ship from there. Just say you’re Mrs Kinross, they won’t ask anything else. Oh, and dress warmly, it can take over an hour or so if the wind is up.’

He turned to go, but she put a hand on his arm to stop him. ‘Thank you, Albert. You’re a true friend and I really hope we can sort all this out soon. You won’t regret helping us, I promise.’

He smiled, although sadness still lurked in his eyes. ‘I’ll never regret it for a moment in any case,’ he said, putting a hand on top of hers and giving it a squeeze. ‘Aaron was a good man, I owe it to him to look after you and I’m only sorry I didn’t suspect anything before.’

‘It wasn’t your fault, you were duped just like everyone else.’

‘Perhaps, but I shouldn’t have made it so easy for the whoreson to take over. I should have asked more questions. Never mind, he’ll get his just desserts now, I’ll make sure of that.’

‘Thank you.’

The carriage ride to Fiskebeck seemed to take forever and Jess’ head ached from listening to the chatter of the other wives. They seemed to have a never-ending supply of meaningless gossip with which to while away the time, but it was all so inane. She tried to concentrate on the scenery, but there wasn’t much to look at apart from the odd house or copse of trees. Snow flurries made it difficult to see much anyway, so Jess soon gave up trying.

By the time she squeezed into the boat between two rather large ladies, she wanted to scream at them to be quiet. Thankfully the motion of the waves silenced them before she disgraced herself by being rude. The waters were rather choppy, and although this didn’t bother Jess at all, she huddled inside her wolf-coat for warmth. Albert had been right, it was freezing out on the sea, but the lovely fur kept her snug.

She stared straight ahead, lost in thought. She hardly noticed the bits of ice floating past or the biting wind that soon had the other ladies complaining non-stop. What was she going to say to Killian? How on earth should she phrase her apology? And what would his reply be? Would he even accept her olive branch?

Perhaps the best she could hope for was that they parted as friends at least. She knew they had never been lovers in the emotional sense of the word, but a part of her couldn’t help but yearn for something other than friendship. He was her husband, bound to her until ‘death did them part’, and she couldn’t bear the thought that this might come to pass sooner rather than later.