Tracie Peterson (37 page)

When Connie still hadn’t appeared to answer his knock, Harry double-checked the number and reached up to try again. Before he could put his knuckles to the wood, however, Connie opened the door in a dazed stupor. Harry thought she looked small and vulnerable in her long, flowing sundress. The dress featured brilliant blues and pinks blended in patterns around white. It seemed to suit her very well—a bit unconventional, a little out of place. Just like Connie.

“Are you ready?” he asked softly.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” he said, uncertain what else he could say. “Mattie’s in the van waiting.”

She nodded, scarcely seeming to see him there. “I’ll get my bag.”

He followed her into the house. “Mattie’s taking this pretty hard. Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine. I just can’t believe all that’s happened.”

He nodded. “Things like this are never easy to understand.”

She looked at him for a moment, her dark eyes transferring a very real message of something akin to regret and sorrow. He wanted to reach out to her. She opened her mouth, then closed it and turned away from him. Harry felt certain that she had been about to say something important, but for some reason she didn’t feel at ease enough to continue.

“Is there something else? Something you want to say before we join Mattie?”

She shook her head and went to collect her purse and bag. “No.”

Instead, he glanced around the room. “Where’s your roommate? Does he know you’re going?” Harry swallowed hard. “Does he want to ride with us?”

This seemed to bring her around a bit. “There is no roommate,” she replied, her voice taking on an edge of irritation. “We broke up a long time ago. I’ve turned over a new leaf, even before Grammy tore up her quilt. You did know she did that, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” It was all Harry could manage to say. Secretly he was glad she was alone and trying to change her life. But he could hardly tell her that. Nor could he be sharing the feelings he had for her on a day when they’d just learned about her brother-in-law’s suicide.

“Why did you want to know about him?” Connie questioned in the awkwardness of the moment.

“You just seem more upset than I figured you’d be. I mean, this whole thing is a shock, but to tell you the truth, I thought you’d be a pillar of strength. I guess I was kind of counting on that for Mattie.”

Connie’s jaw tightened, and Harry thought she appeared to be battling within herself.

“I’ll be as strong as I can be,” she finally managed to say.

She stopped in front of the hall mirror and checked her appearance. Harry noted that her hair was acquiring some of its old color, her dark brown roots peeking out from under bleached layers. She barely had any makeup at all on her face.

Realizing he was staring at her, Harry shifted nervously. “We’d best get on our way,” he said, leading the way back to the door. “Do you have a sweater in case the evenings turn cool?”

“I packed a jacket,” she assured him and dug in her purse for her key.

Harry waited patiently while she locked her door, then walked in silence down the hall and out to Mattie’s minivan.

Their hands touched as Harry took the bag from Connie. For just a moment their gazes met and Harry offered her a weak smile. “I’m here for you if you need me.”

“Thank you, Harry,” Connie replied, nodding. “I like knowing that.”

Erica pulled into the driveway of Deirdre’s house and shut off the engine. “I know you don’t want to be here,” she told her sister, “but Grammy’s on her way and she won’t know where to find us otherwise. Besides, you need to get some clothes and some things for Morgan, even if you just come stay at my place for a few days.”

“I can’t go back in there,” Deirdre whispered from the backseat. Morgan hadn’t spoken a word since leaving the police station, and now she slept rather peacefully against her mother.

“I suppose we could just sit here in the driveway and wait for Grammy,” Erica reasoned aloud. She didn’t know what to say to help Deirdre. Both her sister and Morgan seemed to be in such a state of shock that Erica was at a complete loss for words. How could anything she offered possibly help with the sorrow they were feeling?

Deirdre stared up at the house and shook her head. “I don’t want to deal with it, Erica. I wish I could just make it all go away.”

Erica turned in the seat and met Deirdre’s stoic expression. “I wish that too. I feel so inadequate—I don’t know how to help you through this. I want to say and do the right thing, but what is the right thing for a situation like this?”

“Grammy would say we had to cling to God’s promises. She would tell us to trust even though things seem impossible.”

“She would,” Erica agreed.

Just then a silver minivan pulled into the drive behind them. Erica breathed a sigh of relief. Grammy was here. Grammy would know what to do and how to take care of the situation.

“It’s Grammy,” Erica said, craning her neck for a better look. “Connie and Harry are with her.” Thoughts of Connie and their previous arguments made Erica feel rather uncomfortable. In light of Dave’s death, Erica realized more than ever how fleeting life was. She thought of Mattie’s wall hanging and what Brook had said about the piece. Somehow she had to swallow her pride and deal with Connie and the anger she felt toward her older sister. She knew she couldn’t let any more sunsets pass by without making an effort at reconciliation.

Deirdre gently woke Morgan and stepped from the car just as Mattie approached her back door. Erica watched as Mattie embraced Deirdre and Morgan. Harry and Connie came to stand behind them, and Erica quietly walked to stand beside them.

“We got here as fast as we could,” Harry said softly.

“I’m glad you’re all here,” Erica replied. “I’m not very good at these things.”

“Not many folks would say they are,” Harry answered.

Erica looked at Connie and smiled. “I’m sorry,” she said and lightly touched Connie’s bare arm. “I know this is a poor time to say so, but I am. This thing with Dave has really got me thinking.”

Connie nodded with tears in her eyes. “Me too.”

Mattie pulled back enough to lift Morgan into her arms. Erica worried that the five-year-old was too much weight for their grandmother, but Mattie acted as though Morgan weighed nothing more
than a sack of flour. Morgan offered no protest in the transfer. Her eyes were blank, almost glazed over, and Erica couldn’t help but worry about her niece.

“So what are you doing out here?” Mattie questioned, looking up at the house.

Deirdre shuddered. “I can’t go back in there.”

“I see,” Grammy said, brushing back an errant strand of hair from Morgan’s forehead. The child had nestled herself into Mattie’s arms with her chin tucked tightly against her chest. Mattie seemed to consider the situation for several moments, then looked at Erica. “Have you called your sisters?”

“Yes,” she answered, glad to have the subject changed. “I called Brook, and she promised to call Ashley.”

“Good. Well, I suppose the only thing to do is collect some things for you both and stay elsewhere. I suppose I can’t much blame you for not wanting to stay here.”

“You can all come to my place, but there isn’t much room,” Erica offered.

“Why don’t I take Deirdre and Morgan to a hotel,” Mattie offered. “Connie can stay with you, and if Brook and Ashley are able to come back, we can worry about them when they get here.”

“What about Harry?” Erica asked. She figured she could call Sean and get him to put Harry up for the night.

“I need to go back to the farm,” Harry said before anyone could comment. “Mattie and I just finished discussing it. I’ll take the van back down and return tomorrow or the next day at the latest.”

Mattie nodded. “That way Harry can check on Miss Kitty and her kittens, as well as take care of his own needs. I know I’m presuming upon you and Deirdre for transportation, but I’m hoping you won’t mind.”

“Of course not,” Erica replied, while Deirdre just stood there hugging her arms to her body. She looked so isolated, Erica longed to embrace her and shield her from the pain.

Mattie glanced at her watch. “Well, we can’t make soup standing
in the pasture.” This was one of Mattie’s favorite sayings to urge them into action when they were little. “Let’s get your things, Deirdre, and then we can call for hotel availability.”

“I can’t go in there,” Deirdre stated.

Mattie shifted Morgan and surprised them all by handing her to Harry. Morgan went willingly, as if she had no knowledge of being passed around. The fight had simply gone out of her.

Harry seemed glad for something physical to do. He held Morgan close, and Erica thought him very paternal as he patted the child’s back. He would make a good father someday, she thought. Then she felt a tug on her own heartstrings. She longed for a child of her own. Usually she could fight the feeling, but at times like this when the whole world seemed to be falling apart, Erica thought a son or daughter would be a very nice addition to her life. So, too, would a husband. She sighed and realized that she longed to be with Sean. She wanted to curl beside him on the couch and have him wrap his arms around her. She wanted to hear him say that everything would be all right.

Mattie interrupted her thoughts. “Deirdre, you have to go inside and you have to get your things. You don’t have to stay here tonight, but you have to do at least that much.” Mattie looped her arm through Deirdre’s. “However, I’ll be with you every step of the way. I won’t let you bear this alone. None of us will. Harry will sit on the couch with Morgan while Erica and Connie help us get you packed.”

She had begun leading Deirdre up the path to the front door, all the while talking of what they would do once they were inside.

“Get your keys out,” Mattie told her granddaughter gently, “and I’ll unlock the door.”

Erica was surprised that Deirdre offered no further protest. She did as she was told and allowed Mattie to take her back inside the house. Perhaps, Erica reasoned, she realized that Mattie would never willingly allow anything bad to happen to any of them. Perhaps she, like Morgan, was just too tired to fight.

Mattie snapped on the lights as dusk made for dark shadows inside the house. “Harry, you can sit in the living room with Morgan. I’ll turn the television on for you and leave you with the remote.” He nodded and took his seat in the middle of Deirdre’s plush navy print couch. “Deirdre, where are your suitcases?”

Erica watched her sister as she seemed to ponder this for a moment. “I had them in our bedroom,” Deirdre said as if struggling to remember. “But that was when we were going on the trip. They’re not there now. I think I put them away.”

Mattie nodded. “So where are they?”

“The storage room off the garage,” Deirdre said automatically. “Yes, I remember now. That’s where they are.”

Mattie looked to Connie this time. “Do you think you could find them?”

Connie stood staring off into space and Mattie repeated herself. “Sure, Grammy. I’ll get them,” Connie finally answered and walked from the room without another word.

Erica watched Deirdre as she surveyed the room. There was very little to suggest that anything at all was amiss. Then her gaze went to the stairway and Erica could very nearly hear Deirdre’s sharp intake of breath. This wasn’t going to be easy for her.

“Erica, you come with Deirdre and me. We’ll go upstairs and see what needs to be done.”

“Grammy, you don’t want to see that room,” Deirdre said in a nearly hysterical tone. Then she seemed to catch sight of Morgan and turned away.

“It’ll be all right,” Grammy assured them, taking hold of Deirdre and heading for the stairs. “We’ll do this together.”

Erica followed behind, wondering for the first time exactly what kind of sight would be left for them. Dave had been removed from the house, but had the police or even the ambulance attendants bothered to clean up?

At the top of the stairs they moved down the hall in a pace that Mattie allowed Deirdre to set. When they finally stood outside of the
master bedroom, Deirdre froze in place and looked at Mattie and then Erica with an expression of utter anguish.

“You don’t know what’s in there.”

“You don’t either,” Mattie said softly. “They’ve taken Dave away, but chances are there’s still a mess to be dealt with. We can clean up later, but for now you need to have clothes.” Mattie’s face expressed such gentleness that Erica thought she might be moved to tears. “I won’t make you go in there if you’re certain it’s impossible for you, but I think it’s better to face your fears head on. The worst has already happened,” she told Deirdre. “Dave is gone and you were here for the horror of it all. Now it’s just an empty room.”

Deirdre bit her lower lip and Erica reached out to hold her hand. They exchanged a look and Deirdre nodded. “I’ll go in.”

Mattie nodded. “So will I.”

“Me too,” Erica assured and squeezed Deirdre’s hand. She quickly realized that support and love was all she had to offer Deirdre. Words were of very little use, but action could definitely provide comfort. Maybe this was what Mattie had talked about when she said that offering family support was more important than anything else. Being there for one another in times of joy and sorrow, even when there was nothing to say or do that could change the circumstance.

Deirdre turned and pulled down the yellow tape the police had used to quarter off the room. Erica wondered for the first time if perhaps the police would object to Deirdre’s invasion, but realized just as quickly that her sister wouldn’t have cared if they did. She had clearly suffered at the hands of the detectives. They had yanked her from her home and treated her like some sort of suspect until they were satisfied that Dave’s death had truly been a suicide. Erica wasn’t even certain that the matter was yet resolved because when they’d left the station, Detective Stanford promised to be in touch.

Twisting the handle on the bedroom door, Deirdre stepped forward and turned on the light. Erica followed behind Mattie and immediately her gaze moved to the place where Dave had fallen dead.
A huge brownish red stain marred the rose-colored carpet. Around this, littered in a haphazard manner, were various wrappers and packaging from the emergency medical supplies used when the paramedics had arrived on the scene.