Toygasms! (2 page)

X’s and O’s,

Dr. Sadie

G
reat sex starts with open communication. So if you’re eager to introduce a sex toy or two, don’t startle your lover by pulling a giant, buzzing phallus out of the nightstand. Spend a few minutes beforehand discussing this new opportunity for adventure. Whether your lover is gung-ho or a bit shy, it’s important to consider their feelings and not apply undue pressure if they hesitate. In fact, airing anxieties is often the best way to relax, and both of you could soon be in for a future full of record-breaking orgasms.

Why are people hesitant to try sex toys? Fear and lack of education. Even if they are mildly curious—or fantasize secretly about them—the reality may be a bit overwhelming. Here’s the key to introducing a plaything into your repertoire: be patient. You’ll discover that a little knowledge about sex toys will help ease your fears and open new doors to sexual exploration with your partner.

Fear, guilt and shame can be rooted in family conditioning, societal pressures or religious upbringing. However, they’re no match for the libido, which usually gets its way. After all, discovery and pleasure are healthy, both in life and in bed.

Women who resist toyplay the most are also among those who could benefit from it the most. By starting off with a simple toy, either solo or with your lover, you could begin enjoying many more of the physical pleasures you have coming to you, especially if:

   You have not yet learned to orgasm, or don’t orgasm very often

   You’re able to orgasm during solo play, but never with your partner

   You want exciting new pleasures that complement your relationship

   You want to break out of a sexual rut and rekindle your physical fires

   You still want pleasure when your man is out of town!

Many thousands of women have enjoyed their first orgasms with the help of a little vibration to send them over the edge. Others have learned to orgasm more easily—either solo or with lovers—and at the same time, increase sexual intimacy. You’ll know these people by the sudden appearance of smiles on their faces.

You can then take it to the next level and give your lover one of the most craved treats of all time: let him watch you play with your toy. Don’t believe me? Try it when you’re ready, and you’ll see his eyes widen with awe. There’s just something a little naughty about it, and that’s okay—it’s just the two of you exploring and having fun. Note how special you feel. It’s truly empowering, and he’ll adore you even more for it.

You may be surprised to learn that many sex therapists and sexuality experts actually prescribe sex toys for their patients. Toys are safe, fun and liberating, once you find the right one (or ones!) for you. And they can be purchased discreetly on the Internet or by catalog, and shipped to you in a plain unmarked box.

Read on. Understanding more about yourself, your comfort, and the modern toys available to you today are your first steps toward enjoying greater sexual intimacy and physical pleasure tomorrow—and for the rest of your life.

I know you guys can get just as antsy about introducing sex toys. But once you overcome your hesitation, you may soon discover intimate pleasures you’ve only dreamed about. And toys offer many other benefits, too:

   
You increase your sexual mastery.
If you want to be a bigger star in bed, a toy can help you raise the volume of your partner’s orgasms, making her climax easier, more often, and with much greater intensity.

   
You add variety to your lovemaking.
Toys give you a new means to satisfy your partner. They’re not competition for your hands, penis and tongue, they simply give you a new way to pleasure your partner that will drive her wild and make her crave you more often.

   
You gain new steam.
Toys let you continue pleasing your lover after you’ve been totally satisfied—easily, passionately, completely.