Tortured Beginning

Tortured Beginning (Sweet Pleasures Book 2)

Copyright   2015 V. M. Holk

All rights reserved.

This book may not be reproduced in any form: in whole or in part, without written permission by the author.

All characters and events in this book are fictional. Any similarities to real life people and events are purely coincidental.

First Printing, 2015

ASIN: B00VF4M3K0

Cover Artist: Kellie Dennis at Book Cover by Design

Editing: Blue Water Editing, Jennifer Ingman

Content Editing: Blue Water Editing, Tami Czenkus

Photgraph by: Katie Holk

ACKNOWLEGEMENTS

I want to give a special THANK YOU to Jamie Sexton. She is my PA and my friend. I truly do not know what I would do without you. For everything you do, you are priceless to me.

To my two closest friends, Tami Czenkus and Jennifer Ingman. What would I do without you guys. I don't ever want to find out. Thank you for always listening and brainstorming with me. #lovemybookbabes

I want to thank my dad for always believing in me. No matter what I do in life he is there for me. I have a wonderful family and support. My husband, Jason always encourages me to what I dream. I only hope my girls see that the sky is the limit. You are never to old to follow your dreams.

I am a lucky person to have so many wonderful people in my life, who listen to my ramblings and give me so much encouragement.

Thank you to all my beta readers, for taking the time to read my book and giving me your honest opinion.  Jim S.,Tami Lee, DeeJay, Karrie S., Patty V., Bob W., Michelle M., Antoinette M. Without you guys I would be nothing.

DEDICATION

To my best friend and kindred spirit, Tami Czenkus. Without you this story could never been written.

Tortured Beginning

Sweet Pleasures Series

BOOK 2

V. M. Holk

I don't let many people into my life, the few that I do, I trust with all my heart. I guess that's why it hurt so bad, when my best friend Anne betrayed me. What little that my mother knows, she says I am overreacting. That Anne was only trying to protect me, shield me from more hurt. I try not to bring my parents into my problems, they have enough of their own.

I didn't ask Anne to protect me! I have tried so hard to have a somewhat normal existence. I was finally not feeling the constant eyes boring into the back of my head. I should have known better to
not
let my guard down. This is the very reason I don't like to let people in, they end up hurting you in the end.

I know that might not be a fair thing to say. I would do anything for Anne and she would do the same for me. I have a hard time being rational when Ben is involved. My past has not been all rainbows and unicorns......so its hard to think of life as "the cup being half full."

I love Anne, like a sister. We have known each other since High School, she knows me better than anyone, sometimes even myself.  We opened our shop "Sweet Pleasures," 9 years ago, it is a bakery/coffee shop. Anne also bought the house across the street from me, after her divorce to Kyle. Which means, when I am mad at her, it's hard for me to hide.

I haven't talked to her since I kicked her out my house a couple of days ago. The bouquet of flowers were delivered to me at work. I grabbed them, ran to my car and came home. I rushed into the house and with shaky hands pulled the letter out of its envelope, knowing exactly who it was from. There is only one person who ever sent me black orchids and I thought I was done with him.

My Jay-Bird,

I have missed you so much, baby. I can't wait for us to be together again.

I loved watching you dance, even if I couldn't be there with you. But Anne stopped me from coming to you.

So know that I'm always thinking of you. The only thing that gets me through the day is our being together again...  And we will be together again Jay, know that.

Forever and always,

Ben

With my hands still shaking and tears running down my face, I rip up the letter. At that moment, Anne decides to come over. I went crazy, throwing the vase against the wall, yelling and throwing her out of my house. 

I have a restraining order against Ben, yet he conveniently has forgotten about it. Anne obviously talked to him, yet she told me nothing about it. If I would have known, I could have prepared myself for all of this. Well at least as much as a person can. Ben is MY problem, she should of told me!

I am the one who still has nightmares about Ben. I am the one who walks around looking over my shoulder. I am the one who double checks her windows and locks each night. I am the one who doesn't put herself out there emotionally with men anymore. I am the one who puts on a "Happy" front for my friends and family. I am the one who is lost in my own head.

I am my own worst enemy.

So when I get like this, I go into my room, lock the door and escape into my music. This is my therapy, my escape from reality, my head.......life. 

I hear my phone buzzing on my nightstand, I ignore it. I lay on my side curled in a fetal position, just drowning into the music. I close my eyes, eventually I fall asleep.

I again, hear my phone buzzing, I lay there not wanting to be awake. The thought of my eyes open, makes me shudder. The escape that music gives me is the only thing that gets me through my life. I roll over, grab my phone, then read my texts.

Anne  5:45am

Are u coming to work?

Anne   6:32am

Jay....R U OK?

Anne  7:06am

PLZ...I just want to know U R Ok

JayJay  7:11am

Not feeling good....won't be in today

Anne  7:12am

k.....let me know if u need anything

JayJay  7:12am

don't need anything

With that I turn my phone off and set it back where it was. I don't usually turn it off, in case my parents need me or work does. But I can't deal with any of it today. I lay there staring at the ceiling, listening to music and trying to not think so much. I drift off to sleep.....

I walk through the door to my house, smiling. I can't believe how great my life is right now. I wish I knew what was bothering Ben. That's okay, I will make him forget it all in a few minutes. I run in the bathroom to freshen up, I hum to myself as I brush my teeth.

I go looking for Ben and find him in the kitchen, having a drink. I walk up to him, as sexy as I can and wrap my arms around his neck. He still looks really pissed off, so I kiss him hard and passionately. I pull away, when he isn't kissing me back and look at him confused.

"Okay, what's wrong?"

He looks at me with fire in his eyes, "Did you enjoy yourself with him, Jay?"

"With who? What are you talking about?" I start to back away from him, not liking the change in him.

"You damn well know who I am fucking talking about! I won't have you flirting with other guys, YOU ARE MINE!" he screams at me.

I don't like the look he is giving me and I try to leave the room. He grabs me and gets in my face.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"

"Fuck you! I didn't flirt with any guy....."

I didn't get to finish what I was saying, when I felt him slap me across the face. I fall to the floor and look up at this man, the one I am supposed to love. He crouches down to me and grabs me around the neck.

"I said, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME, JAY!" he spits into my face.

I can't talk and he becomes blurry, through my tear filled eyes. I simply nod.....he smacks me again. My head hits the floor and I see stars.

"Yes," I whisper.

"Good. Now go to bed, I can't stand to look at you right now."

I get up as quickly as I can, not knowing what else to do. I see him grab the bottle of whiskey and take a long drink of it.

....I wake up with a start, sweating. I look around my dark room and put my head in my hands, trying to steady my breathing. I feel tears coming down my face. I grab my cigarettes and light one, taking a long drag from it, It helps to calm my nerves.

I haven't been to work in a couple of days. Some people might think I am overreacting, I need some space. Between the nightmares and fighting with Anne, I need to sort through all of this. I can't face her at work, it's too small of a space. 

Anne has tried calling and texting me these last couple of days. Plus, my mother has called me, to let me know I have been overreacting. I know she loves me and means well, yet she knows how to rub me the wrong way. Especially since I am in a bad place.

My parents don't know the whole story about Ben. They loved him, they don't quite understand why we broke up. I hide a lot of my emotions from them, I don't want them to worry about me. They have enough on their plates, to have room for me.