Torn (Torn Heart) (17 page)

It was Daniel. It was his revenge against me for punching him in the jaw. I realized that’s why he’d been keeping his distance, waiting, biding his time for the perfect chance to fuck me up. Well, congrats to h
im on accomplishing that goal, though he could’ve picked a better day to do it. But he did a damn good job making it look ‘accidental’. I however, know the truth.

When I told Coach, he talked to Daniel and then his ass acted all apologetic and sincere about it so he wasn’t kicked off the team. Coach is determined to keep us both on the team, and to get along, at least until the
seasons over. Daniel’s determined to make my life hell. And I’m getting fed up with both.

It’s Halloween night and every year of our childhood, Skylar and I ended up staying in to watch horror flicks. We did it once and it became tradition. Of course, it was after we raided our neighborhood of candy.

Tonight, we’re keeping the tradition alive. We bought bags of candy for the neighbor kids. I helped put up the lights outside, Jared did the roof. We put out huge decorations in the front yard, too. The house looks pretty fucking awesome, if I do say so myself.

“Want some popcorn?” Skylar asks, getting up from the couch.

I look up at her, “Of course. What’s a night of movies without that?” But before she can go to the kitchen, I grab her hand, pulling her back down to me and kiss her. She opens her mouth automatically so my tongue can slip inside and explore her sweet taste.

After the “I love you” exchange that day, the talk of sex hasn’t come up again. Mainly it’s due to my being laid out. Skylar seemed hes
itant, afraid she’d hurt me. I had to have therapy for weeks, and though that time isn’t up yet, I’d ignore the pain if it meant I’d get to finally be with Skylar in the physical sense. It’s getting harder and harder to shut off the heat when it gets hot. I just don’t want to. And it has nothing to do with me being a guy and needing to satisfy my appetite.

I finally let her go, reluctantly and try to focus on the movie and not the throbbing inside my pants. Fucking hell though, it’s a hard task when her hair is looking like a hot mess. I just want to thread my fingers through those soft strands and watch her squirm with pleasure.

The doorbell rings and while she’s making us food, I jump up and answer the door, but first reaching for the bowl of candy. A bunch of trick-or-treaters hold out their baskets, dressed as their favorite characters.

I smile at all the adorable kids, and their parents.
“Happy Halloween!” I say with more enthusiasm than necessary. They reply; some in spooky tones. More walk up behind the first goers. I grab several pieces of candy for each basket. The kids thank me and then scurry down the sidewalk and head for the next house. I shut the door after the last one.

Skylar brings over a big bowl of popcorn and drinks to the coffee table. “They’re starting early.”

I take the popcorn from her. “No babe, it’s like, six-thirty. I think that’s the start time now.” She shrugs, thoughtful.

We sit down on the couch together and set the popcorn in the middle. “What’s first?”

I pick up my stack of preferred Halloween movies I plan on us watching tonight and show her. We start with The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. When I sit back down and grab the remote, Skylar cuddles into my side. I think she’s secretly scared of scary movies but I think she also just likes the idea of me being here as her protector. So who am I to complain? I secretly love being the guy who gets to run off all her fears. I’ll protect her with my life, even if it’s from a silly scary monster on TV.

Another bulk of kids come to the door and knock, we hand out more candy. Skylar looks for another bag to fill the bowl and we go back to our movie. I don’t know how we’re
gonna do this if we have to keep stopping the movie every few minutes.

At one point though, as she’s getting comfortable, I shift my body in a laying position putting her body in front. My left arm drapes over her stomach, while my right one holds my head up. Absent-mindedly, I stroke her skin beneath her belly button. Her fingers thread through mine, and she slowly moves our hands up her body. My heart’s on speed at this point; but I follow her lead, because Jesus, my body loves this. Still
watching the movie, I can feel both of our attention slipping away onto something else entirely. Something insanely fucking hot. What are we watching again?

Her other hand, warm to the touch, lifts up to my neck and stays there bringing tingles everywhere. I smile to myself, appreciating her efforts. “Sky,” The word is a whisper. She stiffens, slightly.

My mouth grazes her skin on her shoulder blade. “Your skin is so soft,” I say against her flesh. Our legs tangle about the same time her ass rubs against my thigh. I lift my leg over her tightly, holding her in place as my hand moves from her stomach to
her
thigh.

We break apart when the damn doorbell rings. I groan, but Skylar lifts off the couch and answers the door politely, also fixing her messy hair. When she comes back in, she finds a small scrap of paper, pen and writes “help
yourself” and tapes it to the bowl. Opening the door, she sets it outside, turns the light on and locks the door.

I gawk at her in pleasant surprise. She flashes me a grin, “I thought it’d be better if they got their own candy instead of interrupting us every second. It totally kills the moment.” Indeed it does. Why didn’t I think of that?

I pull her down onto me and kiss her fiercely. “I love you and your genius idea.” She giggles, holding onto my shirt. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I ask.

On her knees, she leans her body over mine licking her lips. It drives me crazy. “If it hurts, if I hurt your knee, please tell me.”

I tuck her hair behind her ear and kiss her neck. “Don’t worry about me. But you do know it’ll hurt.”

She nods.

“We can take this to your room.” Thank God her mom works nights. I add, “It’ll make you more comfortable.” She nods again, so I lead her upstairs. Excitement courses through every part of my being to finally have this physical connection with her. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.

We sit on her bed in silence and I can tell she’s apprehensive. I reach for her hand, bringing it to my lips and kiss her knuckles. “I’ve wanted this with you, Jackson. This deep, intimacy that I’ve never experienced before, it’s thrilling. But I’m scared too.” When she notes my expression, apparently I’m getting the wrong message behind it, and not the actual message she’s trying to convey, she says, “Not scared of the pain itself. I know it only lasts for a short time.” Her gaze drops to our hands, distractedly. “Scared for what it’ll do to us.”

I tilt my head in confusion, trying to understand how she’s feeling. “What do you mean?”

“Sex changes everything; some for the better, but some it destroys everything.”

I totally understand now and I can see why she’d think that way. I grip her shoulders and look her in the eyes, in all seriousness. “You just have to believe that’d it’d change us for the better, then.” I say. “We’ve always been so connected on every level that matters. Despite the times I wasn’t honest with you or myself, we were a package deal. And the fact that I
knew
we were the real deal is what scared me. I’d never experienced such intense emotions for another, emotionally. It was just physical.” I smile, hoping she can detect the sincerity in my voice. “I won’t let that fear control my life and make me miss out on something so incredible, again.”

She smiles, “You have a way with words.”

I put on my best macho-confident act and say, “Yeah, well I read a lot of poetry.”

She raises her brows, “Do you really?”
Her voice, hopeful.

I stifle a laugh and shake my head, “No.”
She mock-glares at me. “And don’t you dare get any ideas.” I tug her into my chest, wrapping my arms around her back. I can feel the tension leave her body as she relaxes against me. “Sex changes only those who let it. So let’s not be one of those, okay?” I hold her face while stroking her cheekbones with the pads of my thumbs. “I love you. That’s what matters.”

She nods with a smile. I’m aware of the trick-or-treaters at the door. So does Skylar. “I guess we ran out of candy.” I
wanna say ‘candy is bad for their teeth anyway’, but then she could throw in the ‘smoking is bad for my lungs’ point, so I say nothing. Not that she’d really do that, or at least out loud. But she’d be thinking it. I did.

I turn her face back to mine, “Ignore the door.” I order her in a husky voice, “Kiss me, Sky.”

With such passion in her eyes, she obeys. At first she kisses me slowly and lusciously, but then in a quick flash, she’s kissing me more sensually and pushing me back onto her bed. It’s so damn hot watching her take charge. I gladly let her take the lead, whatever pace she’s comfortable with, I’ll follow, even if it’s a snail’s pace.

Her greedy hands graze my flesh, sending all of my senses reeling. I can’t think straight, my body screaming for more. Her lips move to my torso, leaving
goosebumps.

This is the first time I can recall ever having the desire to satisfy
her
needs, instead of mine. Because it’s not about
my
fulfillment, it’s about giving Skylar the most memorable sexual experience she’ll ever have. Once the skin is broken on a woman, it can’t be patched up. I can’t let it be something she’ll regret.

I decide to take it in a different direction. I lift myself up and grasp her wandering hands to stop her. Seeing it as a bad sign, she slightly backs away from me. Hurt shows in her eyes, “Sorry, did I do something wrong? You know I’ve no experience with sex. I only ever read about it or watched it on TV. Oh man, I-“

She goes on and on, worried that she’s done something wrong. I can’t help but smile at her perplexity, when it’s actually the opposite of why I stopped her. She finally notes my expression, which only worsens her dilemma.

I reach out for reassurance. “You’re so adorable when you’re perplexed.” I say.

“Well, I’m glad I amuse you at a time like this.”

I clear my throat and add, “What I mean is, you did nothing wrong. The problem is, you were making me all hot and bothered with your sensuality. You were setting my body on fire.”

“And that’s a problem because…?”

I chuckle, “Because this is your first time. I wanted this experience to be about you, not me. So, I was just going to relax you and give you pleasure, so you see how incredible sex can be.”

She finally settles back, with ease and gratitude in her eyes. “Sorry for overacting. I just want this to be special for both of us.”

I get up on my knees, holding myself up with my hands flat on the bed. My body extends toward her so we’re only inches apart. Her eyes search my face, as her breath hitches at our closeness. When I lean in closer
I say, “You being here with me… in the physical, as well as the emotional, sense is special in and of itself. You don’t have to try with me.” I press my mouth over hers, pouring all of me into her. Her arms slip around my neck, pulling me onto her. Our bodies mesh and move in perfect rhythm. I’m instantly hard. Fuck.

I move my hand slowly, downward until it’s close to her thigh, and across to her panties. She stiffens but soon relaxes as my tongue traces down her neck, stopping by her breasts. “Relax, this’ll feel good.” Her eyes are closed and a smile shows on her face.

I pull her shirt up and take one nipple in my mouth, sucking and nipping. Her grip tightens on my back. Moans and smacking sounds are all that are apparent in the room. “Oh my God.” She breathes, gripping the sheets. If this is affecting her now, I’d love to see what the actual sex will do to her. I move to the other breast with my mouth as my hand caresses her region beneath her clothes. She’s so wet, I take note. “Jackson.” I look up, and see her eyes closed. “I need you-“

“I’m here, baby.” I make my way up to her face slowly. “What do you need?”

“I need you inside me.” She doesn’t beat around the bush. Holy shit!

“Just wait a sec.” I pull her shorts and panties down, my hand stops at her opening. “I
wanna get you ready, okay?” She nods; her hands in my hair, back, and everywhere she can grasp.

She’s ready, and aft
er getting the condom on quickly, I tell her I’m going to enter and to grip me tight when she feels the pain. She bites her lip and thrusts her hips, clearly meaning business. I take my time, getting her as moist as possible for easier access. She’s clutching my back, preparing for the next step.

I first kiss her tenderly for both gratitude and distraction. I pin her hands above her head and lick the length of her with so much fervor. “I love you, Sky.
Always.” I breathe into her chest
. It’s time. This is happening.
I still can’t believe it’s with Skylar. It’s such a thrill and fucking scary concept. “Ready?” She murmurs her response and I take the plunge…

             
                                                        ***

I lie on my side, watching my girl sleep
after our incredible time together. She’s so peaceful and beautiful. And mine. I catch her eyes twitch every once in a while and I wonder what she’s dreaming of. Her body is curled up in fetal position, wrapped up in her comforter. It was the best experience with her; being so physical, yet the emotional connection was there ten-fold. I know sex changes a couple. But I never once believed it’d change us. At least not in a bad way. If anything, it brought us closer.