Torn (31 page)

No more calls, no more visits, no more nothing! I'm through fuckin' wit you! You see me, and you should fuckin' cross the street! You stupid bitch! I don't know why I fucked wit yo' rat ass in the first place!"

"Rat? Was I rat when you told me you loved me?"

"It ain't my fault you can't recognize game."

"I hate you."

"Yeah, well the feeling is mutual," he snapped, letting go of her throat. Fixing his jacket, Quan was about to walk away when he heard Sherry say, "Go 'head, run like you always do, you no good sack of shit! Take a dump wherever you please and then just walk away! But that's alright 'cause you ain't never gon' be shit wit yo' trifling ass! Me and my son gon' do just fine without you!"

Shocked by her choice of words, Quan morphed back into time. It was like he was thirteen all over again, watching his parents' last argument before his father left for good. Except Sherry was his mother and he was his father. Quan couldn't believe that life was repeating itself. For the first time in a long time, he felt small and insignificant. Had he really turned into his father?

"What you standing there lookin' stupid for? Leave! We don't need you!" she continued. "As a matter of fact, give me my house keys."

"Yo' house keys?! Bitch, this ain't even yo' house!

Everything in this muthafucka mine! You ain't got shit to try and take back! Don't get stupid 'fore I send yo' ghetto ass back to the projects!"

"You know it's like that for you, Quan! I'ma tell every last nigga I know to beat yo' ass!" Jahquita ranted and raved, getting off the floor.

"Suck my dick, you fat bitch! Go eat a fuckin' turkey and shut up!" Quan responded as he turned to leave.

"What? Oh no you didn't!" Jahquita jumped, ready to strike.

"Uh ah, girl, fuck him! Don't worry about it! I know how to get his ass back! I'll just call Mo again!" Sherry spat out of anger.

"What you say?" he asked, giving her the evil eye.

"You heard me! I'ma call and tell her everything! What, you think you can treat me like a whore and get away wit it?

You think I'ma let some cocksucker shit all over me? Nigga, please! I ain't that dumb bitch you got at home! You can't shut me up with a stupid-ass ring and a dead baby and expect for everything to be alright! You ain't gon' play me, nigga!" Pissed, Quan tossed the glass kitchen table over and went to charge at Sherry again, but Jahquita blocked his path.

"Ain't gon' be no fighting up in here, nigga!" she warned.

"Bitch, move!" he roared, pushing her out the way.

"I HATE YOU!" Sherry screamed as she ran around the table.

"You must really wanna die!" Quan charged toward her.

"I died the day I met you!"

"Now I'm gettin' ready to bury yo' ass!"

"Come on!" she challenged, ready to strike with a pair of scissors.

"Ahh bitch, you gon' cut me now?" he growled, throwing her petite frame up against the wall as she screamed. Using all of his strength, Quan choke-slammed Sherry onto the glass-filled floor.

No match for Quan's quick hands, Sherry was easily appre-hended. With each of her wrists in his hands, Quan pounded Sherry's hand into the kitchen counter until she let go of the scissors and dropped them into the sink.

"Check this out. You go anywhere near my girl ... and I will fuckin' kill you. You feel me?"

"I HATE YOU!" Sherry spit in his face.

"Stupid bitch!" he barked, tightening his grip on her neck.

Sherry could barely breathe as she gazed up into Quan's eyes and wondered if this was really what they had become. She hadn't meant for things to go this far. All she wanted was for him to acknowledge the pain he'd caused her. But that would be asking too much of him, so here they were fighting to the death like two bitter enemies.

"LET HER GO!" Jahquita cried, trying to pull him off Sherry.

"Get off of me!" Quan used one of his hands to push her back.

"Quan, please let her go! Her face is turning blue!" Jahquita screamed, crying hysterically.

But Quan couldn't hear her. The man had completely zoned out. The only thing that brought him back to reality was the sound of his son crying. Slowly releasing his grip on Sherry's neck, Quan glanced over to his right and found his one-year-old son holding hands with his sister as tears poured from his eyes. "What the fuck am I doing?" he spoke out loud to himself.

Embarrassed by his actions, Quan quickly got up and ran over to his son. Holding her neck, Sherry gasped for air and looked around the room. The kitchen was a complete mess.

Broken pieces of glass were everywhere. Sherry could feel a couple of pieces prickling her hands, legs and feet. Hair was all over the floor, chairs were turned over, and soda had spilled.
I can't believe this nigga really tried to kill me
, she thought.

"You alright?" Jahquita asked, helping her up.

"Yeah."

"Come on, lil' man, you coming wit me," Quan said, scooping up his son.

"I wanna go, too," Sherry's daughter Versacharee announced.

"Nah, lil' mama, you stay here wit yo' ole bird."

"Where you think you going wit my baby?"

"I'm taking him home wit me."

"Uh ah, Quan, I was just playin! Give me my son!" Sherry frantically shouted, grabbing his arm.

"You wanna get yo' ass beat again 'cause if not, you better let me the fuck go!" Quan mean mugged her, and then snatched his arm away.

"I'm not playin', Quan, give me back my son!"

"Say bye bye to mommy." He ignored her.

"Bye bye." Lil' Quan smiled, touching his mother's face.

"Quan, don't do this. Don't take my baby. I don't wanna have to call the police on you."

"And tell them what? That you been harassing me and my girl? That you attacked me wit a pair of scissors, or even better, that you use drugs around my son? Is that what you gon' tell them, Sherry?"

Backed into a corner with no way out, Sherry stood silent.

"That's what I thought. Now get the fuck away from me."

"When you gon' bring him back?"

"When I get good and fuckin' ready," Quan replied as he walked out the door and left Sherry with a mess to clean up.

15

Still Tied Down

Mo paced back and forth across the living room's plush
carpeted floor, trying her best to calm down.
She couldn't get over Sherry's phone call.
The nerve of that bitch
, she thought.

Deciding she needed to make a phone call of her own, Mo grabbed the cordless phone and dialed Mina's number.

"Hey, girl. What's up?" she answered, sounding as if she had run to the phone.

"Girl, let me tell you! Why this bitch just call my phone!"

"What bitch?"

"Sherry."

Mina tried her best not laugh but found it hard not to.

"What the fuck is funny?"

"I mean, Mo, what did you expect to happen when you took Quan back? That y'all was gon' live happily ever after and ride off into the sunset?"

"Noooo, but I didn't expect this bitch to grow nuts and call my phone."

"I don't understand what you mad for. You had to know this was coming."

"I have all the right in the world to be mad! Bitch gon' tell me I'm babysittin' this weekend!"

"What? Oh hell naw!" Mina chuckled.

"I swear to God when I see her, Mina, I'm fuckin' her up!

She better go hard or go home! 'Cause a bitch like me ain't going no muthafuckin' where! I mean, who the fuck this chick think she is? She ain't about to come fuck up my happy home!

I mean, did she really think them having a baby together was gon' run me away? Hmm, I'll be damned!"

"We know that," Mina shot sarcastically.

"I'm almost glad we didn't go to city hall and get married."

"And I've been meaning to say something about that. What is going down to city hall and having a quickie wedding going to change? I mean, really. Whether you and Quan get married today, tomorrow or next year, the same problems y'all have now are still going to exist. The only thing that's gonna change is the fact that you're gonna go from the dumb girlfriend to the dumb wife."

"Mina, please let me be dumb. But I'll tell you what ...

ain't no hoe coming up in here taking my spot. I'ma play my position forever."

"This might hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry if it does, but Mo, you sound fuckin' ridiculous. I'm embarrassed to even call you my friend right now."

"What?"

"At first it was Quan, but now you making yourself look stupid. I don't understand why you keep playin' yo'self for this corny-ass dude. It ain't like he got one bit of game. I mean, he straight out and in the open wit his shit and you and that dingy bitch Sherry put up with it like it's nothing. So I'ma tell you like this ... if you like it ... I love it. 'Cause frankly, I don't wanna hear about it no more."

"Damn ... it's like that? You not gon' hear me out or nothing?"

"Mo! We've all heard you out for damn near ten years!

Enough is enough!"

Tears were already formed in Mo's eyes as she listened to her friend's harsh words, but when she looked up and saw Quan coming through the door with an identical replica of himself in his arms, she broke down and cried like never before.

"I'ma call you back." Her voice cracked, as she hung up the phone.

"Look Mo ... let me explain," he began, but Mo didn't want to hear it. The sight of his son's face was killing her.

"Don't say shit to me!" she spoke through clenched teeth as she walked past him and ran up the steps.

Inside her bedroom, Mo closed the door behind her and locked it. Even with her eyes closed she could still see the room spinning. She tried breathing, but it honestly felt as if her lungs had been placed in a permanent choke hold. Tears dripped heavily from her eyes as she tried her damnedest to breathe. She wanted to scream, but her mouth wouldn't allow it. So instead, she fell to the floor, clutching her chest, begging God to end the pain.

Mo honestly didn't know how much more she could take.

Her life was a complete and utter mess. Her best friend and father had abandoned her when she needed them most. But Mo couldn't blame Mina or her dad for their decisions. She would be tired of the bullshit, too. Hell, she was tired of hearing her own voice whine and complain.

But how could she deal with this on her own? Taking Quan back was one thing, but dealing with his child was a whole

'nother story all in itself. There was no way she could survive seeing that baby's face and hearing him coo without losing her mind. Over and over again she reminded herself of Quan's promise that things would change, but here they were again, dealing with one drama-filled moment after another. Mo was so sick of being pacified and lied to. This was not the paradise of a life as she'd envisioned for herself. Where was the fairytale, happily-ever-after ending that she'd promised herself as a child?

Quan hadn't saved her. His royal kiss didn't awaken her from the evil realities of life. He didn't swim through the stormy seas. Like always, she was left to stand alone. But as she sat on the floor begging God for help, Mo came to the realization that she could no longer live life in hell. Being sad and miserable was too uncomfortable and time consuming. If she wanted to survive, she would have to be her own magic potion. That was the only way she knew, deep down in her heart, that she could live life on earth without completely losing herself in the end. The next morning Mo awoke, in the same clothes from the day before, to the shrill sound of a baby crying.

Instantaneously, her motherly instincts kicked in and she jumped up from the floor. Rushing out of the room, she followed the wailing to her daughter's bedroom. Inside the colorful pink room filled with Hello Kitty paraphernalia, she found Heaven standing with her arms stretched out wide. Her little caramel face was drenched in tears. She was so chubby and cute. She looked just like her father.

"Come here, baby," Mo said, soothingly picking her up.

She stopped crying immediately. It was as if she had found a home in Mo's arms.

"That's mama's baby. See, everything's gonna be alright.

Mama will never leave you," she whispered, placing a kiss on her forehead. Mo closed her eyes and rocked Heaven from side to side. A piece of her heart had returned to its rightful place.

She felt whole again. Now she could breathe without feeling deflated.

"Mo!" Quan yelled, startling her.

Mo glanced over her shoulder and looked at Quan to see what his problem was. He had the weirdest look on his face.

She soon realized why he was looking at her funny when she glanced down and noticed that the baby in her arms wasn't Heaven, but Lil' Quan instead.

"You alright?" he asked, coming toward her hesitantly.

Unsure of whether or not she was losing her mind, Mo decided not to reply. She could've sworn that the child she was holding was Heaven.
What is wrong with me?
she wondered as Quan took his son from her arms. It took her a minute, but once she snapped back to reality she realized that the man she'd loved more than life had done the unthinkable.