Torn (48 page)

"Why? What you want me to understand for?"

"'Cause I ain't never loved nobody the way I love you!" "And what you want me to do about that?"

"I want you to love me!" she yelled from the depth of her soul.

"I already did and you couldn't handle it," Boss shot, fed up.

"But I'm tryin' though! I'm tired of runnin'! All I want is you!"

"Like on the real, Mo," he got up and pointed his finger in her face. "You too fuckin' complicated! You say you want a nigga that's gon' treat you right but then you turn around and do stupid shit! When I'm here stuck on stupid tryin' to love you, tryin' to be the man you need, you gon' go get this nigga ... the same nigga that played yo' ass to the left, outta jail and for what? 'Cause y'all got history? What kind of shit is that?

But you know what? Don't even answer ... 'cause whateva lie you about to come up with you can save all that shit for the next man!"

"I ain't gotta save shit 'cause I ain't got nothing to lie about. I don't love that nigga. I love you! And I'm sorry for hurting you! You're the last person I would ever want to see in pain but I told you from the jump that I got a lot baggage that I'm tryin' to deal with. And if you love me the way you say you do, then you should be willing to try again!"

"Try again? So now you want me back?" he shot with sarcasm.

"Yes, I do! Don't you know that I've loved you from the day I laid I eyes on you? I love everything about you! I love that you love me despite my insecurities, but you gotta let me back in! Please. Give me one more chance. We can get through this. I know we can," she stressed, coming closer and caressing his face.

"I don't know, man." Boss stepped back and ran his hands down his face. "Everything you sayin' sound good but ..." "But what? You still don't trust me? What more I gotta do to prove that I love you?"

Boss was so filled with emotion that he didn't know what to say so he didn't reply. Instead he shook his head and let out a much needed sigh.

"Look ... I did what you asked and put my feelings on the line and I've apologized. What more you want, I don't know.

All I hope is that you can forgive me." She turned and placed her hand on the knob.

Seeing that he wasn't going to put a dramatic fight to stop her, Mo willed herself to unlock the door and walk away, but couldn't. A million tears over-crowded her eyes.

She tried her best to fight back them back but her tears won. With her hands covering her face, Mo cried so hard that her throat began to hurt.

Her delicate hands were soaked. She didn't even care that Boss was behind her watching. Despite his feelings, he was still her man, her lover and her best friend. Without him, Mo didn't know where her life alone would begin. Determined to pull herself together, she inhaled deeply and wiped her face dry. Mo was halfway out the door when she heard Boss say, "So it's that easy?"' "That easy to what?" She spun around, excited by the possibilities of what he was about to say.

"For you to leave?"

"No ... I just don't know what more you want me to do," she answered truthfully. "How many more ways I gotta tell you I love you for you to understand?"

"Mama, come here."

With her eyes flooded with tears, Mo did as she was told and walked over to his awaiting arms. Boss was tired of putting up a front so he grabbed her by the waist, pulled her close and gazed deep into her big beautiful brown eyes. Mo felt so good in his embrace. No other woman would ever be able to take her place. He knew she was a handful and that loving her was taking a big risk but for the life of him, he just couldn't let her go. Somehow, even with all of her crazy and erratic ways, she completed him.

"What am I gon' do wit you?" he asked, wiping the tears that slipped from the corner of her eyes away.

"Love me. That's all I want. Just love us."

"Us?"

"Yeah ... I forgot to tell you. I'm pregnant."
A Year Later ...

It was a glorious spring day. Monsieur Parthens sat joyful
and at peace as the rays from the sun shone upon her
mahogany-colored skin.
She was at The Cheesecake Factory having lunch outside. A slight breeze moved the air as she used her hand to shield the sun from her newborn baby girl's face. Life couldn't have been better. Every time Mo looked at her bundle of joy, she thanked God. Her daughter was so chocolate and cute.

Every feature on her face resembled Mo's. Her pregnancy hadn't been an easy one but she got through it, with the help of her loved ones and friends. To Mo, it seemed like she had been pregnant forever since Dr. Goldstein ordered her to bed rest once again. Nine months in the bed, unable to get up but for five to ten minutes a day, was hell. But the sight before her made it all worth it.

Mo never knew she could love a human being so much.

The feeling she had for her daughter was indescribable. She finally knew how it felt to love unselfishly. Her daughter came before everything and everyone, including herself. The only thing Mo wished was that her Mama could have been around to share in her happiness. Gazing up at the sky, she knew she was there in spirit looking down on them.

While waiting on her order to come, Mo rocked her baby in her arms and noticed Quan crossing the street. He was about to head into the mall with the same chick she'd gotten into it with at the club, when he spotted her as well. A smile brightened on both of their faces. Quan was fly as usual. Mo watched as he told the girl he was with to go on in.

"What it do, babygirl?" Quan spoke, kissing her cheek.

"Nothing, see you still haven't changed." She smirked.

"Ah man, that's Deja. It's nothing."

"You gon' get enough one day," Mo chuckled.

"So this you?" He pointed to the baby in her arms.

"Yep, isn't she gorgeous? She looks just like me." She held her baby girl up so he could get a better view.

"What's her name?"

"Ryan."

"That's hot. You good?" He looked her up and down. "Life been treating you alright?"

"Better than alright. I'm really happy. You?"

"Ahhhh, you know me. I'ma always be good. I'ma always land on my feet."

"I never asked you, but whatever happened to your case?'"

"The got me on papers, man. I'm on probation for three years."

"I hate to say I told you so."

"Then don't." He got into her face and laughed.

"I won't." She laughed, too. "But what happened to Sherry and West?"

"Man, come to find out, they bitch assess moved to L.A."

"What you gon' do about Lil' Quan? Have you seen him?"

"Nah, but I'ma try to get full custody though."

"Please don't tell me you still wanna kill West?"

"Oh, hell yeah. Whenever I see that dude, it's a wrap."

"Quan listen, take my advice and just leave that situation alone. Get custody of your son and move on." "I can't make you no promises, but we'll see, man."

"You still hard headed." Mo smiled and shook her head.

"Ay yo, bay!" Boss yelled, coming from inside the restaurant with their other daughter in his hands. "Makiah got milk everywhere and I think she has the hiccups."

"Damn, you had twins?" Quan asked, astonished.

"Uh huh. Baby, I'd like you to meet someone." Mo stood up and wrapped her free arm around Boss. "Quan, this is Boss.

Boss, this is Quan."

"What's up, man?" Boss stuck out his hand.

"You." Quan shook it. "You got it."

"Right."

Laughing some, Mo jumped in and said, "Yeah Quan, these are my daughters Ryan and Makiah."

"They're beautiful, Mo. I'm really happy for you."

"Thank you."

"But ah, let me get up outta here before this girl get to trippin. Y'all be good, a'ight."

"You too." Mo smiled as he vanished inside the mall.

Sometimes Mo wondered what her life would've been like if she'd taken Quan up on his offer to try again, but Mo knew that nothing she shared with Quan could possibly compare to the bliss she had with Boss. The love he had for her made her feel optimistic and free. Just like Quan's mother said it would.

He made her feel like a better person.

Every day she wore a smile. All of the pain in her heart had completely gone away. Mo never felt a love so good before.

Nothing compared to the feeling he gave her inside. Boss was her prince charming, her angel and her friend. He didn't run when hard times approached. He didn't judge her for her mistakes. He accepted her, flaws and all.

Boss understood that she had a host of imperfections. He loved her unconditionally so he easily looked past all of that.

She was his queen. Loving him freely hadn't come easy, but once Mo got over her fears of being rejected, loving Boss was the easiest thing in the world. But most importantly, Mo had grown to love herself. Yes, it felt good to be loved by someone else, but the best love of all she felt came from deep within.

She learned that the right kind of love didn't hurt. It wasn't filled with one drama-filled moment after another. The love she had with Boss wasn't cruel or unappreciative. It didn't make her feel lost and insecure. Life wasn't a fairytale, and Mo was finally able to accept that. Bad times would occur, but the way Mo was living her life, she was as close to being Cinderella as you could get. She had a good man, a great job, friends who loved her and two beautiful girls. What more could a girl ask for?

"You ready to eat?" Boss stroked her face and kissed her lips.

"Umm hmm." She nodded, lost in his touch.

"You know I love you and my girls more than anything, right?" He kissed her again.

"Yes."

"You love me?" he asked.

"Baby please ... I'ma love you forever."