Too Busy for Your Own Good (61 page)

Is this what I really want?

Should I
let go of
this person, place, or thing?

Will this get me more in balance?

Is this SMART?

With the advent of global positioning systems in our computers, cars, and wristbands, it's nearly impossible to get lost. Satellites can pinpoint where you are on earth by as close as a few feet. So far, though, they can't tell you where to go unless you program your destination. That is exactly how your life works: you'll get lost a lot less on your road to balance if you know your destination.

When earning my private pilot's license, I learned the dire importance of
planning
. To get to the fun part (flying to a destination), there was a lot of time spent on the ground. I also spent many hours in the air practicing bank turns over the ocean or shooting “touch-and-gos” (landing and immediately taking off again). The importance of filing a flight plan for any trip was drummed into me. It forced me to plan my trip to insure safely arriving at my destination.

In filing a flight plan, I needed to state my departure point and time, type and ID of my aircraft, special equipment on board, the proposed route, cruising altitude, airspeed, checkpoints, as well as estimated time en route, destination, fuel on board, and pilot information. Is it any wonder I love flying, with all the details? All this planning and study made me feel smart.

When you plan the flight that is your life, choose a SMART course.

S
Make your goals
specific
. “Get healthy” is not specific, but “I will lose fifteen pounds and keep my cholesterol level below 200” is clear and well defined. Be really specific with your goals—you might just get what you hope for.

M
Your goals should be
measurable
. Old joke: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. To make a goal measurable, make it quantifiable by breaking it into smaller, more manageable tasks. Each step sequentially leads to the next, and you know exactly how far along you are.

A
Your goals should be
attuned
to your life as a whole. Is your goal compatible with your overall plan? Most sales organizations have quotas along with contests and awards for the top producers. I spent eleven years in such a company and found selling to be rewarding but all-consuming. Each quarterly meeting I found my competitive juices flowing as I'd vow to be in the top producers club. When I finally made it to the top, I realized that it was just not possible to work so many hours (350 days a year!) if I wanted any kind of balanced life.

R
Your goals should be
realistic
. They say overnight success usually takes about seventeen years. Don't go hoping that it's all going to happen overnight for you. Be realistic about what you want to accomplish and also how long you think it will take.

T
Have a
timetable
attached to your goals. When you assign a timetable to your goal, you eliminate the feeling that you're living your life with one foot nailed to the floor, going in circles. As with measurability, you'll gain patience and perspective knowing you're heading in the right direction.

Ever since I took my first flight lesson, I wanted to fly a blimp, so I put it on my goal list. I was told this would be impossible, doors were slammed in my face, and people laughed at me as they hung up. As I said, some things are difficult, and the impossible just takes a little more time and planning.

Years later I was climbing aboard the Goodyear blimp as a passenger while the ground crew readied to launch the 192-foot long, 60-foot high airship. Upon the pilot's command, twenty-two burly guys held onto lines to float the airship a foot above the ground. They started a slow, rhythmic chant, “One-ah. Two-ah. Three-ah. Good!” Soon they began pulling us forward, bouncing and chanting, “One-ah. Two-ah. Three-ah. Good!” Just about the time I thought we were gaining elevation, we
slammed
into the ground on the word “good.” Sandbags were pulled out of compartments, and we floated up six feet. We continued bouncing forward, “One-ah. Two-ah. Three-ah. Good!” With each cycle, more sandbags were removed. One final “good!”
slam
, and the crew let go of the lines. Oh, the thrill! Once airborne, I asked the pilot, “Can I fly it?” He got out of his seat and said, “She's all yours.”

It was a wonderful experience, but more important, I learned something I'd like to pass on to you: Life is like taking off in a blimp. You'll think it's difficult—and sometimes impossible—but if you make your plan, keep moving forward with the help of your crew, bounce up when you're slammed to the ground, and let go of what's weighing you down,
you will fly
and never find yourself too busy for your own good.

We know what we are, but know not what we may be
.

—William Shakespeare

Humanity evolved into what it is today because the good women and men outnumbered the bad ones. People like yourself who concentrate on doing good, being strong in the face of adversity, and staying committed to learning. For every person who stands in the way of getting your “busy” under control, there are four or five willing to help you. This has got to be true, or we would still be using stone tools and living in caves.

It used to be an accepted fact that the brain doesn't change much past a certain age. Now we know that your brain is constantly changing. Cognitive dissonance dictates that your brain is always changing to prove the reality of what you believe. Your brain can't hold conflicting ideas without making you uncomfortable enough to question the inconsistencies of your behaviors.

If you're dissatisfied with your overbusy lifestyle but you hold the belief that it will make you happy and fulfilled, your brain senses a conflict or an inconsistency. Your brain uses this inconsistency to motivate you to change. Don't stick with your old thoughts, beliefs, and actions with regard to your day-to-day life. Life can be what you want it to be. Having a new outlook will change your crazy-busy lifestyle into one that has meaning and purpose. You will recapture your lost spark and bring back balance into your life.

Have you ever entered a contest for something you really wanted, such as a vacation or new car? Somewhere on the drawing card is the phrase
You must be present to win
. If you really want to balance your life, you must be PRESENT to win it:

P Prioritize
what's important for your
purpose
.

R Rest
and
restore
your body.

E Eliminate
clutter and
enjoy
what you have.

S Set
goals that are
SMART
.

E Encourage
harmonious relationships.

N
Say
no
more often.

T Trust
in something greater than yourself.

It is rough out here in the real world. You lose loved ones, your kids get into trouble, people lie, cheat, and steal from
you, and superiors demand that you march to the beat of their drum. Our overbusy, continuously connected society has actually separated us from our true passions. You may say, “I know I should take control of my busyness, but I don't have the time right now, and my finances are a mess.” You might even fear that people would be angry with you or you'd lose ground and end up with nothing. But it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to continue the too-busy lifestyle that you've been practicing. You have a chance for a do-over when you summon up the courage to stand up for what is best for you.

The truth is that it's not lack of time or money that's holding you back. The main reason you don't cut out all your busyness is one thing: a lack of belief—you lack belief that your life will actually be better if you do what needs to be done to get it there. You've got to
believe
things can be better for you. You've got to believe that miracles can happen for you. Otherwise, they most definitely will not be happening for you.

Like you, Ludwig van Beethoven lived a life surrounded by many people who wanted a piece of him. As with many great artists of the time, he had a patron, a prince who supported him while he composed. Like you, he had times when it was demanded he abandon his principles in order to fulfill some obligation.

At one time in their relationship, Beethoven's patron demanded he dedicate a symphony to Napoleon in order to gain the general's favor. They were in the patron's castle just outside of Vienna, where Napoleon's soldiers were billeted. When Beethoven found out what a tyrant Napoleon was, he refused to dedicate the symphony out of principle for his art. He sent his patron a note: “What you are, you are
by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself. There are and always will be thousands of princes, but there is only one Beethoven.” This is the very man who asked before his death, “I did have a certain amount of talent, didn't I?”

In all of us, there are two people—the believer and the cynic. The believer says, “Yes I can! There is only one me!” Your cynic says, “Oh, I don't think anything is ever going to change. I'm just another cog in the machine.”

Stop! Celebrate the believer in you who wants peace, joy, strength, and love. Let go! Let the world know that there is only one
you
.