Tomorrow Will Be Too Late (23 page)

Of course. What was he thinking? That she
had been
eaten by guilt and cried her eyes out on
her sister’s
bosom
?
N
o good way
existed
to put a positive spin on what
had
transpired between them on that fateful evening. So yes, of course, the sudden intense courtship could
raise
more than one eyebrow, he could see that. But at the same time, he didn’t really care. And after her offer last evening and the night that followed, he would think neither
would
she.

The
cheerful
sound that broke the silence diverted his attention. He saw
Kate’s
eyes go to her handbag, the expression a mix of surprise and apprehension. Well, another call, he thought, betting his bottom dollar that it was the mysterious
Dr
. Merkle again.

‘Aren’t you going to take it?’
h
e prompted her, noticing her hesitation. Was it his presence that made her reluctant to answer the persistent ringing?

‘
Yes
, of course
.
’
She
made up her mind and fished the small, already familiar
,
phone from the side pocket of her bag, where he let it slip into only minutes ago. ‘
Yes
?’

Her
voice sounded breathless and worried at the same time, he thought as he watched her take a few steps away to the large bay window that overlooked the back gardens. Watching her back, hunched over as she listened, Justin could
n’t escape
a
sense of
deja vu
,
the lines of her slender shoulders achingly familiar.

‘You what
!
’
Suddenly
she was yelling, his presence totally forgotten.
‘I don’t understand
! H
ow?’
She
seemed
to have
forgotten his presence altogether, her attention totally devoted to the phone and
whoever
was on the other end.

‘
You
said you were certain
.
’
A
note of desperation
colored
her voice, his whole body tense as he fought the urge to close the distance between
them
and offer her some support. She wouldn’t want it anyway, he was pretty sure.

‘I know, I know,’ she repeated helplessly, her voice quivering. ‘
Of
course I’m happy
. T
hat’s not the point.’

She listened intently to a longer tirade, her shoulders sagging in a gesture of total defeat.

‘I just don’t see how could you be so certain before,’ she answered finally, her voice hollow. ‘I mean, you said it was a hundred percent certainty. So
,
what happened?’

He was right
,
then. She was talking to her doctor and judging by her reaction, the conversation wasn’t going too well
.

His mind raced
,
supplying him with all kind of scenarios. It sound
ed
like he
had
let her down
.
Had
he promise
d
her something
that mattered enough to put so much anguish into her voice? Like talking to his wife and coming clea
n
about their relationship?

He was losing it,
Justin
thought dryly, his overactive imagination definitely going places that
were
better left unexplored.
His
sudden Sherlock Holmes attitude
was surprising in itself,
not something he ever remembered happening in the past.

But then again, he had never been with a woman like Kate.

‘I’ll see you then,
yes
.
’ T
he conversation seemed to be winding down, her voice trailing
off,
as she remained standing at the window as motionless as a statue. He could see the damn phone still in her hand, the small silver device silent and turned off. Still, she didn’t move. He wanted to say something, anything
,
as long as it would bring her back to life
in
his sun
-
lit kitchen, instead of
being
this empty shell, her thoughts miles away.

‘How about this coffee
,
then?
’
h
e
ventured, feeling utterly silly. He wasn’t suave enough to know how to handle such a crisis, he thought anxiously as he waited for her to answer.

‘
Um
… coffee. Yes, of course
.
’
S
he pulled herself together, her slim figure straightening ever so slightly as she turned back to him, her face exposed to his
eyes. She was pale, he realized, very pale, her generous mouth trembling slightly as she struggled to regain her composure.

‘I will have to take a
rain check
on anything else, Justin.’ With two steps she was back at the island, her fingers closing around the white porcelain cup.
She
sip
ped
the brew, probably burning her lips in
her
hurry. With three big gulps she was done, her hand shaking slightly as she put the cup back onto its saucer. She was a bit too forceful, the delicate china protesting with a loud grating sound.

‘
Is
everything all right?’
h
e
asked, unable to help himself after all. She looked like a ghost, he thought, waiting for her answer.

‘
Yes
, I guess it is
.’ S
uddenly she was laughing, the unexpected change doing little to explain her behavior. He heard the edge of hysteria in her voice, right under the surface and ready to take over if she let her guard slip even momentarily.

‘I’m sorry
.’ S
he calmed down, her lips pressing together as she wa
tched his worried expression. ‘
I know, I
’m
act
ing
like an idiot. All is good, really. Actually, better than good, all things considered. I just wish I
had known
it yesterday, that’s all.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’
H
e wasn’t sure if he had a right to ask her that. Their relationship didn’t imply any real intimacy, the purely sexual basis not the best set
-
up for any kind of soul searching. But he did want to know more, desperately so, even if it meant he was every o
u
nce the sucker he considered himself two years ago, as Victoria’s lawyer presented him with the photographs of him and Kate together.

‘
Not
really, no.’

W
ell, he worried for nothing, obviously. Kate didn’t want his support, her lovely eyes strangely remote as she hugged the robe even tighter around herself.

‘I… I have some things to do, as I told you. All that,’ she pointed to her phone, her brittle smile as wintry as the weather in December, ‘all that doesn’t really matter
,
anyway.’

‘You’re sure?’
h
e
persisted, sensing something meaningful and deep underneath this perfect façade. His thoughts of a nice morning cuddle and great sex vanished, replaced with concern and sense of having lost something, before it was really his. Because he could sense that something between them had shifted, her daredevil attitude from yesterday evaporating into thin air.

‘Totally
.
I’m really fine, Justin.’

Another smile came and went, and he was left alone as she retreated into the bedroom, the door closing with a clicking sound. He could imagine her in there, dressing hurriedly in the
room that still held the warmth and fragrance of their lovemaking. He could almost see her running the brush through her hair, pulling painfully on the few stubborn knots. Applying her make
-
up and slipping into her
high-heeled
shoes, all a
t
the same time. Because time was of
the
essence, apparently.

He sipped his coffee, the taste impossibly bitter as he forced it down his throat. All thoughts of breakfast were abandoned as he waited for her to emerge from the room that
had
witnessed their passion only hours ago. Right now it seemed more like decades, he decided with a sudden burst of
self-deprecating
humor.

He didn’t have to wait long. The light sound of her footsteps made him raise his head and watch her approach, a cool smile on his lips. He’d be damned if he
was going to make
an even bigger fool of himself than he already had. They had a deal, a simple deal with clear boundaries and no expectations. It was as simple as that, nothing less and nothing more.

‘I’m sorry
for the rush. I’ve ordered a cab to come and pick me up. It wouldn’t be fair to make you skip your breakfast just so I can run to town
,
’ she
said with a
smile, a tinge
of regret coloring her voice and shaping
her next words almost hesitant
ly
. ‘I hope you don’t mind.’

‘
Of
course not,
Kate
.
D
on’t be silly.’ This was his cue to finally show some spine, he decided, his tone light and conversational. ‘
W
e did what we planned to do, right? That’s all there is to it
.
I just hope I lived up to your
expectations
.
’

He saw her blush, her pale skin turning pink and making him think of the soft, curly petals of Sarah Bernhard peonies, his mom’s favorites. He regretted his comment instantly, but before he could set it straight she nodded, her composure totally restored.

‘
You’re
right. I’m glad you see it this way.’

Did
s
he expect him to be chivalrous and try dissuading her from taking that damned cab? He felt utterly compelled to do exactly that, the idea of them together in his car a very tempting one. He might be able to extract more out of her, the ride to her place long enough for a meaningful conversation.
He decided against it in the end, needing some time to think things over. To regroup and plan for the future.

One thing he was sure of, more so than anything else in his life
:
Fate had brought Kate back into his life. Maybe it was an answer to his prayers, some powerful gods finally giving into the relentless pounding of his stubborn heart. Or maybe it was
just a
coincidence
,
after all. He didn’t care either way. She was here, within his reach
,
and after what
had
just happened, obviously even closer than that.

And he had no intention
of
let
ting
her go.

She had been an absolute idiot. Totally and completely insane. Kate felt her teeth chatter and knew it had nothing to do with the cool fresh air blown in from the water by the morning breeze.

The cab driver attempted to chat with her once or twice, his polite remarks about weather and traffic receiving such cool
reception
he gave up and retreated into total silence, the light hum of the engine the only sound to be heard.

She didn’t hear him. Ever since saying
good-bye
to Justin, a promise to call him later sounding as hollow as it felt, nothing seemed real. God knew, he seemed to be glad to be getting rid of her so easily. She bit her lower lip, trying to stop it from trembling. What else did she expect? She
’d
offered him free sex
,
not a lifelong
commitment
,
hadn’t
she?

She couldn’t let herself think about what had just happened, trying very hard to remain as detached as possible. She knew that if she allowed herself to analyze it, she’d be lost in a sea of misery so intense it bordered on physical pain
—w
hich in itself was ridiculous.

She should have been jumping for joy,
the conversation with Dr.
Merkle changing everything.