To Professor, With Love (26 page)

The features on her face fell. Hugging her ribs, she bowed her head and cried quietly. More lost than I’d ever felt in my life, I approached her slowly and gently set my hand on the top of her hair. When she trembled under the warmth of my palm, I knew there was only one thing left I could do.

I had to let go.

“Okay,” I said, my voice breaking and my chin wobbling. “Okay.” My fingers slid limply from her. My guts twisted as I wondered if that was the last time I’d ever touch her.

I wanted to fall to my knees and keep begging, but I’d already scared her enough. It took everything I had to turn away and walk to the front door.

When I opened it, I paused, giving her one last chance to call me back. When she said nothing, I murmured, “Take care of yourself,” and left.

CHAPTER THIRTY

“The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” - Ernest Hemingway,
A Farewell to Arms

~ASPEN~

Three days after I gave Marci Bennett an F for not turning in her assignment, Dr. Frenetti rang my phone.

“Aspen, I need you to come to my office. Right now.”

The pinched tone in his voice told me everything I needed to know. I spent a couple seconds closing all the programs on my computer and straightening my desk before I stood and brushed the wrinkles out of my skirt and blazer. Though my knees felt like cooked noodles, I kept my spine ramrod straight and walked the short distance to the dean’s office in a sedate, orderly pace.

As I tapped on Frenetti’s opened door and glanced inside, I found another man wearing maroon wind pants and a T-shirt supporting Vikings athletics sitting back in a chair across from him. Both men turned to look at me. Frenetti scowled in his typical manner. His visitor leered and let his gaze travel down my body as if he’d seen me naked, which—oh, God—he probably had. I crossed my arms over my chest as if that could stop him from ogling.

“Aspen,” Frenetti rumbled out as he motioned to the gawking pervert. “This is Rick Jacobi, head coach for the football team.”

I nodded, and a piece of hot lead dropped into the pit of my stomach

This was it. My career was over.

***

"Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in." - Will Rogers

***

~NOEL~

My will to keep marching forward had seriously declined in the week since I’d fucked things up with Aspen. I didn’t want to go to work each night, or attend classes each day, or keep sweating through these fucking workouts each morning. I didn’t want to answer the phone when Caroline called. I didn’t want anything. Except my woman.

But that wasn’t going to happen, so I just kept doing all the shit I really didn’t care about anymore.

With my bag full of exercise clothes to change into slung heavily over my shoulder, I trudged into the university’s sports complex for my crack-of-mother-fucking-dawn weight training. Yawning, I rubbed my hand over my jaw. I hadn’t shaved in days and winced at the pull of sore muscles.

I’d just turned down the hall toward the locker room when someone from behind me called my name frantically. Glancing around, I found both Ten and Hamilton skidding around the corner and racing toward me.

Frowning, I asked, “What the hell are you doing here for morning training?” Ten only trained in the evening or not at all. He refused to even pretend to be a morning person.

“Ham called me.” Breathless as he reached me, he grabbed my arm and yanked me in the opposite direction of the locker room. “Man, you need to come with us. Right now.”

Not used to my best friend acting so agitated, I glanced toward Hamilton. But he looked as if he might shit his pants any second. Unease stirred within me.

I resisted Ten’s pull. “What’s going on?”

“Just...” Ten yanked me along, none too gently. “Come on.”

They led me to a bathroom. As Ten ducked down to check that all the stalls were empty, Quinn folded his arms and braced his back against the door so no one else could enter. Their behavior made it seem like they were preparing to kick my ass or something. And if I didn’t know any better and trust these guys with some of the biggest secrets of my life, I might have been worried.

But then it struck me; they
were
the only two guys on the team who did know my one big secret. Acid filled my stomach, sharp and painful.

I nearly bent over double as I blew out a shuddery breath. My gym bag slid off my shoulder and slapped to the floor. “Aspen?” I said, knowing this couldn’t be about anything else.

Ten straightened from the last stall and stared at me for a moment before he said, “Yeah.”

“Fuck.” I clenched my eyes shut and rested my hands on my knees as I concentrated on not getting sick all over the place. But, “Shit. How bad is it?”

After a small groan, Ten admitted, “It’s pretty bad.”

I looked up and stared at him. When he didn’t say anything, I glanced toward Hamilton. He’d gone white, but nodded, agreeing with Ten.

It was bad.

“Well?” I demanded, my voice raspy with fear. “What happened?”

“Shit, man.” Ten set his hands on his hips and looked away. “Someone took a picture of you two together.”

“A picture,” I repeated. “What
kind
of picture?”

“What the hell kind do you think? You guys were fucking.”

I nearly blacked out. Reaching for the wall to steady myself, I held on for dear life as Ten kept talking.

“But at least now I know she doesn’t have pierced nipples.”

“
What
?” Heat suffused my face.

Seeing I had on my you-must-die face, he lurched backward and held up his hands. “Hey, I’m just...calm down.
Gamble
!”

My breathing went erratic as I fisted my hands at my sides. “Where is this picture? What exactly does it show?”

“That’s about it. I mean, just her top half. It was night, pretty dark and she was in the front seat of some car. Her head was thrown back and her tits were stuck out like she was in the middle of coming. You were cut out completely, except for your arm.” He glanced at my arm. “And your tattoo.”

“Oh, God.” Someone had seen us that night? Taken
pictures
? Who would dare... Why would anyone... “Christ.” I stared at Ten from what felt like bloodshot eyes. “How the hell do you know about such a picture? Did you
see
it? Who took it? Where—”

“Coach hung it on the board in the middle of the locker room.
Everyone
has seen it.”

“
What
!” It was just hanging out in public for everyone to see Aspen in her moment of glory? No fucking way. I spun toward the doorway and charged. I knew Hamilton was still bracing the door shut, but that didn’t matter to me. I wasn’t on the team because I was afraid of being tackled.

His eyes widened, but he seemed to prepare himself for my attack. Damn fucking football player. I didn’t let him down, bowing my head and charging with my shoulder.

Ten shouted my name and crashed into me from behind as I rammed Hamilton hard, causing him to grunt out a whoosh of air.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ten tried to ask between curses as he and Quinn wrestled me to the ground and pinned me down.

I bucked under them, flailing and roaring out my rage. “I’m getting that picture.”

My roommate sat on my back and Quinn contained my legs. “Are you insane? Coach put it up to get a reaction out of someone. Out of
you
. You can’t go tearing in there and—”

“I need it down,” I ground out. “Motherfucker, how
dare
he? How dare he do that to her? I need that picture ripped
down
.”

“Okay! Okay, buddy.” Ten patted my shoulder. “We’ll get it down. Just...breathe.”

I stopped fighting, but the guys kept sitting on me for another couple minutes before Ten nodded at Quinn.

Slowly, cautiously they let up pressure. When I didn’t try to break loose as soon as I had an ounce of wiggle room, they leapt off me and jumped back. I stayed sprawled on the floor, panting and trying to calm myself before I sat up and glanced at Ten.

“I want it down.”

“We’ll get it down,” he promised me, his eyes steady on mine with a look of pure assurance that I’d never seen him give anyone. “I swear to you, we’ll get that picture down. But you can’t go anywhere near it. If Coach finds out it’s you, you’ll be off the team and kicked out of school, bro.”

“I don’t care.” I pushed to my feet and brushed off my clothes. “She shouldn’t be put on display like that, like some kind of dirty whore. She’s not—”

“I
know
,” Ten said forcefully. He lifted his hands, back to placating me. “We both know that. But you going in there like this won’t help anyone. It won’t help you, it won’t help your brothers or sister. And it won’t help her. She’s already gone, man.”

“Gone?” I repeated stupidly. “What do you mean
gone
?”

“Do you seriously think they’d let her stay on campus after something like this? Besides,” he glanced away and mumbled the last part, “there’s a sign above the picture.”

“A sign?” My heart sank. They’d labeled my woman, just like what had happened in that Hawthorne book. All her hard work to get a position at Ellamore had come down to a big scarlet A...because of me. This was definitely not the kind of A I’d always wanted from her. I tasted bile and wanted to get it out of me. “What’s it say?”

Ten blanched and shook his head. Hamilton looked away.

“
What’s it say
?” I roared.

“Jesus. It says, ‘Who wants to join Dr. Kavanagh in leaving Ellamore forever?’”

“Oh, God.”

I started for the door. This time, they trapped me against the damn sinks.

“Let me go, damn you.”

“What’re you going to do? Blow in there and confess, so you can go down with her? Man, you only have one year left of school. You’re
this close
to getting everything you’ve worked so hard for. And don’t forget your family. Jesus, Noel. Your
family
.”

“So, what do you expect me to do? Take the coward’s way out and let her take the fall for both of us? Fuck that.”

“Think about this, Gamble. Think with your brain for a second. Nothing you can do will save her.”

A growl escaped my throat. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to combat the agony, but it just followed me.

“But you can still save Caroline. And Colt, and Brandt.
They
didn’t do anything wrong and they’ll be the ones who suffer right along with you if you throw away your entire future and admit anything to Coach.”

His words penetrated my rage until it struck me what he’d just said. I squinted. “How the fuck do you know anything about them?”

Ten’s mouth opened. And then shut. Appearing suddenly uncomfortable, he glanced away. “You’ve mentioned your brothers’ and sister’s names before.”

“But I’ve never told you...” This didn’t add up. “Jesus, what do you know?”

He ground his teeth and shot me a glare. “I don’t know anything, man. You’ve never told me anything about your life back home, except those names.”

I shook my head. “Then why do you keep bringing them up?”

“Fuck.” He hissed. “She told me to, okay?”

Not comprehending at all, I just blinked at him. “What?”

“Dr. Kavanagh,” he mumbled, scowling at me.

“Aspen? When the hell did you talk to
Aspen
?”

“Jesus Christ.” Ten squeezed his eyes shut. “The night we caught her with that history professor douche. She texted me and asked me to make sure you were there, so you’d see them together.”

My mouth fell open. I swung my head back and forth. This didn’t make any sense.

“When I disappeared from you for a little while after that, I went to see her, to call her out on it, and demand to know why the hell she’d done that to you. I swear to God, man, I thought she wanted you there so she could hook up with you again. I didn’t know—”

I waved my hand, shutting him up. “Then why...why did she want me to see that?”

“She said...” He growled out a sound of irritation. “She said you needed to hate her for this to work.”

No. No way. That did not sound good. My heart sank to my knees as I asked the dreaded question. “For
what
to work?”

“Man, she knew then. I think she knew about the picture. I think someone wanted to fucking blackmail her for a good grade. And she refused.”

She’d sacrificed herself. And made sure I would remain safe.

Black spots dotted my vision and my knees gave out. Both Quinn and Ten caught me and helped me back upright. I worked my jaw but that didn’t relieve any of the distress flowing out my limbs.

“Did she say who?” I asked, my voice low but rational and steady. I think I totally had Ten fooled because his grip loosened as he shook his head. “She refused to say.”

No, she wouldn’t have, would she? Stubborn woman had done all this to protect me; she wouldn’t give any information to Ten that might change her plans.

Fuck.

My head racing with all the things I needed to do, I stared Ten right in the eyes. He gulped but didn’t say anything. Finally, I shoved roughly against both him and Hamilton. “Get off me.”

Both guys released me in the same breath. I stumbled a little from the sudden loss of their restraining hands. Then I took a second to breathe in a fresh gulp and clear my head as I straightened my clothes. When I felt like I was in my own body again, I glanced at the two guys staring at me with blatant concern.

“Thanks for the heads-up. But...” I shook my head slowly. “I can’t let her go down by herself. We started this together. We end it together.”

Ten winced. “How did I know you were going to say that?”

He didn’t try to stop me as I stalked out the door. Both guys dogged my heels, but I ignored them all the way to the locker room. When I shoved my way inside, I jerked to a halt, watching the crowd of guys, hooting and hollering as they clumped together in front of the message board.

I saw red. About fifty dicks were about to die.

But Ten pushed me aside and plowed forward. “
Coach
!” he yelled. “You piece of chicken shit bastard. Get that picture of me and my girl off the goddamn board.”

With his roar echoing around the room, Ten rushed into the crowd of guys, shoving them aside to reach the picture. Then he ripped it down and tore it into shreds.

Coach Jacobi appeared in the doorway of his office, a clipboard in hand. “You saying that’s you in that picture, Tenning?”

“Yes, sir, I am. Couldn’t you tell by the look on her face? Only
I
can bring a woman that much pleasure.”

I clenched my teeth and shook my head. “He’s lying.”

“No, they’re both lying.” Hamilton spoke up from beside me. “That’s my arm, Coach.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jacobi exploded. “All
three
of you fucked her?”

“No,” I bit out, pissed off completely. How dare they tarnish her like that?