To Dream Anew (13 page)

“But he needs to learn and to make his own mistakes. He’ll do just fine. Give him a chance.”

“But he never gives me a chance,” Dianne protested. “Faith, I may be his wife, but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost the ability to think or reason. Uncle Bram taught me a great deal. I’m as good at ranching as some of the men in this valley. I certainly know as much about this ranch as anyone else. I simply want Cole to consider my feelings and thoughts when he makes decisions. That’s all I’m asking.”

Faith shook her head. “Seems to me that’s asking a lot.”

Ten minutes later, Cole walked through the back door. He was covered with dust and the expression on his face suggested trouble. Dianne jumped up and ran to him. “What kept you?”

Cole pulled her into his arms and held her close.

“We’ve been worried,” she said against his ear.

Cole held her for several moments, then kissed her forehead. “I was delayed at the fort. Didn’t think it would take this long. I’m sorry for worrying you.”

“What was the problem?” she asked, pulling away.

“There was information regarding the wounded from the Battle of the Big Hole,” he said seriously. “Zane was hurt, but he’s going to be all right.”

“What!” Dianne shook her head. “How? When? Was he at The fort? Oh, I knew I should have gone.”

“Calm down. He wasn’t there. He was apparently wounded during the battle in August,” Cole replied. “He was pretty sick for a while. They took him to the hospital at Deer Lodge and the surgeons were able to patch him back together.”

“Where is he now? I want to see him. We need to bring him here.”

“Hold on,” he said, reaching out to still her. “That’s why I was delayed. I wanted to locate him and do exactly that.”

“Well?” Dianne could only think of her brother lingering near death without so much as a friend or family member to hold his hand. It didn’t matter that he was supposedly better. She needed to see it for herself.

“He’s leaving the army. His enlistment is up in November, but they’ve decided to give him an early medical discharge.”

“Well that sounds like a sensible thing,” Faith said, coming to stand beside Dianne. “See there? Everything will be just fine.”

“I want him here. I want him here before the snows bury us in this valley,” Dianne insisted. “Where is he now? How can we get to him?”

“He’s in Butte. I thought I might head up that way and get him,” Cole said. “If you’d calm down for a minute, I’d give you the details.”

“I am calm!” Dianne nearly yelled, knowing even as she did that nothing could be further from the truth.

Faith actually laughed. “Yes, sir. She’s calm all right. She’s about as calm as a Missouri twister.”

Cole grinned, his gaze never leaving Dianne. His response only irritated her more.

“Cole, this is serious. We need to go to him.”

“I will go to him.”

“I’ll go too.”

He shook his head. “No. You need to stay here. Micah is nursing and Luke needs you as well.”

“We can take them with us,” Dianne said, nearly hysterical at the thought that Cole would deny her this request.

“No, Dianne. The weather is too unpredictable. I’ll go to Butte and find Zane, and then I’ll check with that judge we heard about—the one who can make it safe for Koko and the children to stay here. We should be home before the snow gets too heavy.”

Dianne knew it was a losing battle, but her anger was mounting at Cole’s refusal. “I want to go. I’m a good rider. We’ll leave the children here. Ardith can wet-nurse Micah.”

“Goodness, just listen to yourself,” Faith declared. “You aren’t even talking sensible.”

“I could have figured you’d take his side,” Dianne said, pulling away from both of them. “You may need help, Cole—he may be too hurt to travel on a horse. Have you even thought of that?”

“I have,” Cole said seriously. “If that’s the case, I’ll hire a man in Butte. There are probably a great many cowboys who have no work for the winter. I’m sure I can get help if I need it.” He stepped toward her. “Please hear me out. I’m not doing this to cause you pain or make you mad. This is the better way. You aren’t thinking clearly because of your love and concern for Zane. That’s understandable, but he would never forgive himself if something happened to you. You know that’s true.”

Dianne drew a deep breath and let it out. Her resignation could be heard in that sigh. “Is that your final word?”

“It is. I want you to stay here where you’ll be safe.”

“Have it your way,” she said, knowing that the wall she was erecting between them was one that would be difficult to tear down. She walked away without bothering to look back. The anger in her heart—anger toward Cole—was something new and overpowering. They’d had their arguments before, endured their moments of temper, but never had she been so furious with him. Never had she wanted to so completely defy him and refuse to follow his direction.

I should just sneak out and make my own way to Butte. Leave before he even realizes what has happened
.

She wasn’t sure where such defiance had come from. Maybe it was the tension and the worry about Zane’s well-being. Maybe it was the fear that had built during Cole’s delayed return. Whatever it was, it wasn’t pleasant at all. It weighed her down like a heavy horse blanket.

Dianne was still angry after putting the boys to bed. Micah had sensed her rage while nursing. It made them both uncomfortable, but no matter how Dianne tried to relax and release her tension, she couldn’t seem to manage. Micah finally fell into a restful sleep, but the experience left Dianne feeling a deep sense of guilt.

Luke slept peacefully in the corner of the room, but Dianne had not been her usual self with the boy and he’d fussed and cried until she’d snapped at him to be quiet. It was a stranger who cared for her children that night. Dianne couldn’t begin to deal with the range of emotions within her.

It wasn’t only that Cole had refused her the trip; it was everything. Everything that had come to haunt her over the last year. The love she’d once felt for the land was tainted with fear and worry. The peace she’d known in her heart was as distant as the place where God seemed to be hiding from her.

When the door opened and Cole walked in, Dianne forced her gaze to the floor. She rocked in silence as he began to undress and readied himself for bed. They’d not spoken since their disagreement. Dianne had refused to come to supper, something she now regretted, and Cole hadn’t come in search of her.

“I was hoping you might be cooled down by now, but I see you’re still angry,” he said softly.

Dianne looked up and watched him as he folded his shirt over the back of a chair. “I’m more hurt than angry.”

“Hurt?” He seemed genuinely puzzled by this.

“Yes, hurt. You don’t care about my feelings. You’ve become bossy and critical, demanding and dictatorial. You used to care about how I felt—about what I wanted. Now it’s all about having things your way.”

Cole looked at her as if she’d announced that the ranch had been sold. “Is that what you really think?”

“What else should I think? It seems lately you haven’t really tried to understand my needs. You just tell me what to do and where to go. I didn’t think our life together would be like this.”

“My only objective these last few months was to keep you safe. Surely you can see that.”

Dianne got up from the chair and paced to the window. “I would have liked it better had you discussed things with me.”

“I’m your husband. It’s my duty to take care of you—provide for you. Yet it seems that every time I try to take that job seriously, you rear up like an unbroken colt.”

Dianne hated the truth in his words. She knew he was right, but there was no way she could admit it. “If you loved me—if you really cared about my feelings—you would let me go with you to Butte.”

“Is that what it’s going to take to put things right? Give you your way?” he asked without emotion.

Dianne knew she’d drawn a line. Looking up to meet her husband’s sober expression, she said, “It’s not about having my way. It’s about your caring more for my feelings than having the final say.”

“And that’s what you believe of me? That I’ve said no just to boss you around—put you in your place?”

She’d taken the argument too far to back down now. Even Though she knew it wasn’t the truth, Dianne couldn’t help but nod.

Cole stared at her for several moments. Dianne thought she perceived disappointment in his eyes, but her heart was hardened and pride wouldn’t let her soften it.

“All right,” he finally said. “You can go with me to Butte.”

The victory was hollow. Dianne opened her mouth to thank him, but Cole raised his hand. “Don’t say anything more. I don’t think I could bear it.”

He picked up his shirt and headed for the door. “We’ll leave at dawn.”

Trenton wasn’t happy that his sister was heading to Butte with Cole, but the tension between the two was enough to keep him silent. He didn’t know what was wrong between the couple, but it grieved him. Dianne and Cole were like the opposite sides of a coin, and he couldn’t imagine one being much good without the other. In fact, he’d often been encouraged to hope that there might one day be true love for him, in watching his sister with Cole. But just as such thoughts filled his head, Trenton’s heart reminded him that his past would probably forestall any chance of marriage and family. He would have to content himself with his sister’s family—in being a good uncle.

With that in mind, he promised to care for the ranch and look out for the women and children, even as Dianne had instructed Ardith on Micah and Luke’s care. Such reasonability seemed a far cry from his lawless days.

I wonder what ol’ Jerry would think of me now,
Trenton considered as thoughts of the outlaw gang came to mind. He pushed the images aside. They were gone—a thing of the past. They couldn’t hurt him now…. Well, at least he hoped they couldn’t.

Cole and Dianne weren’t gone even three days when Trenton’s relative peace was disrupted by Portia Langford. Somehow he’d known she would be his greatest source of frustration.

“I want to go to Bozeman,” she announced.

“No.” Trenton continued looking at the week-old paper in front of him, hoping the annoying woman would disappear.

“You can’t tell me no. I have a right to go to Bozeman. Cole said my father is returning there this week. I want to be there.”

Trenton put the paper down and stared up into the haughty exotic face. There was no denying that Portia Langford was a beauty. Fortunately for Trenton, he knew her beauty ran no deeper than her skin. “No one has time to ride you over to Bozeman. If you want to take a horse and make your own way, be my guest.” He lifted the paper again and tried to ignore her.

“You really ought to treat me with more respect.”

“I really ought to ask my sister to send you packing.”

“For a man with a troubled past—one that no one knows much about,” Portia said sarcastically, “I wouldn’t be inclined to make enemies.”

Trenton felt a chill run up his spine. He lowered the paper once again and put it aside. “What are you talking about?”

Portia simpered, her brows rising ever so slightly. “My, my. Now we plan to be civilized.”

“I’m not planning to be anything at all—especially civilized. Not when it comes to you.”

“I suppose one couldn’t expect good manners from a bank robber.”

Trenton jumped to his feet and crossed the room to where Portia stood. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’d advise you to be cautious.”

“Oh, don’t play games with me, Mr. Chadwick. I had you investigated long ago. I know all about your past. About the gambling and the banks—the Wilson gang you ran with. I know that and much, much more.”

Trenton held his anger in check. He kept his gaze fixed on her, knowing he was making her uncomfortable in his silence. How she’d managed to learn so much about his past was a mystery. She said she’d had him investigated, but how much did she really know? And did she have any proof that could bring his past crashing down around his future?

“I don’t think you’ll be troubling me,” Portia said, her voice not sounding quite as sure as it had only moments earlier.

“And I don’t think you’ll be troubling me,” Trenton said in a menacing tone. “Not if you don’t want to have to keep looking over your shoulder at every turn.” There wasn’t much to back his threat up with except for the determination to keep his family from knowing the truth. “You’ve overplayed your hand, Mrs. Langford. You can’t possibly think that I’d let you share this kind of nonsense with my family.”

She paled. It was ever so slight, but Trenton knew he’d made his point. There was no time for further discussion, however. A knock at the front door left them both realizing they’d been too engrossed to even hear a rider approach.

Trenton went to the door and opened it. Portia was right behind him.

“Where’s Selby?” the man demanded.

Trenton was taken aback at the anger in his tone. “I beg your pardon?”

“Cole Selby. Where is he?”

Trenton studied the stocky man for a moment. “He’s not here right now. Maybe I can help you. I’m Dianne Selby’s brother. I’m overseeing the ranch in their absence.”