To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance) (8 page)

“Well?” John prompted.

She stopped in the narrow hall and faced him. “I probably
should have asked you first. Do you mind very much?”

“We had some adventures, didn’t we? You really captured the fun
we had.” In the shadowed hallway he held her gaze, his eyes gleaming.

Memories of sunlit golden days rose up, of them lying together
on beaches, in grassy meadows. Her gaze drifted down to his firm lips, curving
humorously. Her heart beat faster. She wanted to kiss him. But that was
crazy.

She had to glance away. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Well, I don’t know. You spurned any contact with me yet drew
on our shared history for your stories…”

“I’m sorry.”

“On the other hand, I’m flattered I played such an important
role in your life.” His fingertips touched her jaw, turning her face so she had
to look at him. “And clearly still do.”

“No.” She was protesting the intensity of her own feelings as
much as his words. She turned and started walking again, urgently needing to be
on her way. “Our past is merely grist for the writer’s mill.”

He followed her. “What will you do when you run out of the
past?”

“I’ll, why, I’ll go on my own adventures.” She reached the
foyer and breathed a little easier. “I don’t need to rely on you now. In fact
I’m going on adventures all the time.”

“Really? What was the last adventure you went on?” He sounded
mildly amused. “I might be interested in trying it myself. And I’ll enjoy
reading your next book having inside knowledge.”

Katie straightened her shoulders. “All right. I haven’t done
anything nearly as exciting or dangerous as the stuff we used to do together.
But I’m going to.”

John’s smile faded. “You shouldn’t be doing dangerous
activities on your own. That’s not what I meant. What are you considering?”

Damn. He’d trapped her. She hadn’t exactly been planning base
jumping expeditions but she couldn’t let him think she wasn’t capable of acting
on her own. “Not life threatening, just challenging.”

He crossed his arms. “Like what?”

“Like…” She racked her brains. “Mountain biking. I hear there
are some great trails in Red Hill.”

“I know those trails. They’re pretty gnarly. Have you ever been
off road?”

“I ride into the village center to shop or go for a coffee.”
Her chin lifted. “Sometimes I ride along the chip bark path through the
reserve.”

He shook his head, chuckling. “In other words, you’ve still got
your training wheels on when it comes to off road.”

It was true she’d only ridden her mountain bike on roads and
groomed paths. But how dare he call her capacity for derring-do into question?
If she wanted to break her neck it was none of his business. “I’ll see you next
Tuesday. Say goodbye to Tuti for me.”

“Don’t go off in a huff.” John touched her arm.

“I’m not in a huff. I just have to go.” She pulled away, moving
toward the front door. “Where are my shoes?”

“Where did you leave them?”

“Right there.” Katie pointed to the spot on the marble tile
next to Tuti’s black Mary Janes.

“Tuti must have taken them. That kid has a mischievous streak.”
He strode into the lounge room. “She’s not here.”

Katie went back down the hall and peered around a door into a
study where a cot was jammed between a desk and a filing cabinet. “Tuti, where
are you? I need my shoes.”

No answer.

The screen door slammed. She headed for the back of the town
house. The yard was tiny, dominated by a paved patio area and a tall gum tree
next to the fence. John stood below the tree, head tilted way back.

Katie hurried to his side and looked up. Way up. Her heart
caught in her throat. High among the upper branches flashed a slim brown leg and
a swatch of blue-and-white gingham.

* * *

“T
UTI
,
COME
DOWN
.”
John was trained to
stay calm in the face of danger, but his training hadn’t prepared him for
dealing with his own child in such a situation. He might sound calm—at least he
hoped he did—but his heart was racing and only sheer force of will stopped him
from bellowing like a frightened bull.

Tuti was about ten feet up the tree. Seeing him, she’d
scampered another eight feet higher, her legs and arms stretching impossibly far
between smooth-barked limbs. One slip and she would ricochet down like a rag
doll.

“Oh, my God. How did she climb so high?” One hand to her
throat, Katie shaded her eyes to look up.

“You want a monkey?” he said grimly. “There she is.” He cupped
his hands around his mouth and called loudly, “Come down right now!” No answer,
just a rustle of branches. A twig dropped, bouncing against the trunk to land on
the slate pavers. He tried a different tactic. “What have you done with Katie’s
shoes?”

Katie circled the base of the trunk, scanning the tree. “There
they are.” She pointed to her black pumps wedged in a fork of two thick lower
branches. She turned to John. “I don’t care about my shoes. Just get Tuti
down.”

Did she think he wasn’t trying? He couldn’t even see the girl.
He moved around the tree to get a better view. And almost wished he hadn’t. Tuti
sat on a narrow limb, her legs swinging, casually holding on to a branch with
one hand. With her other hand she mimed eating and pointed to Katie.

John turned to Katie, relief flooding him as a simple solution
presented itself. “She wants—”

“I get it.” Katie lowered her voice. “But if we give in to
blackmail we’ll pay long term.”

“We?” His attention was momentarily diverted from Tuti. Katie
seemed to think she had a vested interest in his daughter. Did that mean she was
softening toward him? He didn’t think he’d imagined the sexual tension between
them in the bathroom, or that moment in the hall.

Confusion stained her cheeks pink. “I mean, you, of course. I’m
just her teacher. But I stand to lose authority in the classroom over this.”
Katie edged away from him and called up into the tree. “Tuti, I can’t stay for
dinner tonight. Don’t worry about my shoes. I’ll get them later. Bye.”

“What?” John spun around as she started back to the house in
her stocking feet. “You want to leave her up in that tree?”

“Please, trust me on this. I know what I’m doing.”

“I get what you’re saying about blackmail but how can I let her
get away with taking your shoes? It’s bad behavior.” He glanced up to check on
the dangling brown legs through the leaves. “This is no time to experiment with
child-rearing theory.”

“I’m worried about her, too,” Katie said. “It’s called reverse
psychology. Believe me, I know what I’m doing. I deal with kids all day, every
day.”

Maybe she had experience on her side, backed up by rational
thinking and the wisdom of experts. But he felt the danger to his daughter on a
primal level. All his instincts were screaming at him to act. He wanted her down
safely and he’d worry about psychology later. Katie couldn’t even do a simple
thing like agree to stay for dinner. No, she had to turn everything into a
matter of principle.

“No,” he said firmly. “No way. She’s not allowed to risk her
silly little neck.”
The way Katie had when she’d refused a
mastectomy.
She’d defied not just the best medical advice but risked
their future together. “Nor is she allowed to try to dictate what goes on around
here.” Balancing on one foot, he pulled off first one sock, then the other.

Katie stopped walking. “What are you doing?”

“She’s not the only one who can climb trees.”

“Wait!” She held out a hand. “Stop and think. Jeez, you and she
are more alike than you realize—mischievous, impulsive and foolhardy.”

“You’re comparing me to a six-year-old?” He reached for a lower
limb.

Katie put a hand on his arm. “She’s a lot smaller than you. She
can climb onto smaller branches. If you scare her higher into the tree the
danger if she falls is that much greater.”

“She won’t fall.” Katie had a point but Tuti had inherited his
agility.

“I’m telling you, this is a mistake,” Katie insisted. “You’re
going about this all wrong.”

“She’s
my
daughter,” he said
pointedly. “You might be able to walk away and leave her in a tree based on some
theory but I can’t.”

He’d walked away from Katie when she needed him. He wasn’t ever
doing anything like that again, not with someone he loved. Holding on to a
branch, he planted a bare foot against the smooth gray bark and walked up the
trunk until he could throw a leg over a lower branch. He pulled himself up to a
standing position, braced between two branches.

“Tuti, come down this minute or you’re in big trouble.” His
voice reverberated through the branches, his fear manifesting as anger. This
time he didn’t try to sound calm.

“Threatening her won’t get you anywhere,” Katie called.

“With all respect, butt out. She’s my kid.”

“You’re used to dealing with criminals. And cops who are almost
as tough as you are. You don’t understand how gruff you sound to a little
girl.”

“I want to sound gruff.” He climbed another branch, reached for
Katie’s shoes. “Look out below.” He dropped them onto the grass. Then he glanced
up through the leaves. He could see Tuti’s face and her jaunty pigtails, white
ribbons fluttering. Framing her dark head, sickle-shaped gum leaves turned in
the breeze and clattered lightly. “Come down. I’m not telling you again.”

And wasn’t that a pointless empty threat? But he couldn’t back
down now or Tuti would never respect him. He conceded Katie that much.

Tuti giggled and bounced on her branch. She rocked back, losing
her balance. Her eyes widened. John’s heart stopped. Just in time she clutched
the branch with her other hand and steadied herself. But she’d had a fright. Her
dark skin paled and she gripped the branch tightly with both hands.

John focused hard as if he could hold her in place with the
force of his gaze. He forgot to be gruff. He forgot everything except the
overriding need to make his little girl safe. “Stay where you are. I’m coming to
get you.”

She nodded, her eyes huge. John scrambled up the tree as if it
was a ladder, instinctively knowing where to place his feet and hands, not
caring when he grazed his elbow. Moments later he was level with Tuti. The trunk
swayed with his weight. Legs braced, he reached out both arms. Tuti released her
hold on the tree and dove into his embrace.

John wrapped his arms around her, feeling her small heart
beating fast next to his. Then he pulled back and cupped her chin to look into
her watery eyes. With a different kind of gruff, he said, “Don’t you ever scare
me like that again.”

Two fat tears rolled down Tuti’s cheeks.

John wiped them away with his thumb. “Never mind. You’re safe
now. Hold on to my neck and we’ll go down.”

Tuti wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his
neck. She clung on so hard she almost choked him. Going down was harder than
going up. Tuti limited his vision and he only had one hand for the tree because
he was gripping her with the other. When he got to the last fork in the trunk he
lowered Tuti into Katie’s arms then dropped to the ground.

Katie hugged Tuti then handed her back. She said nothing but
her eyes accused him of nearly messing up. Yes, Tuti had almost fallen—possibly
because he’d scared her—but he’d done what he thought was right. He remembered
something his mother had said to him once, “Your father and I raised you the
best we knew how.” He understood that now. Kids didn’t come with a training
manual. Katie, for all her experience with her students, couldn’t feel what he’d
felt.

He kissed Tuti on the forehead and set her on the grass then
crouched till his face was level with hers. “You scared me. I was worried you
would be hurt. Don’t ever do that again.”

He didn’t expect an answer. Tuti still hadn’t spoken since he’d
brought her away from Bali, despite several sessions with a child psychologist.
But he hoped she would nod to show she understood.

“Okay, Tuti?” he asked, prepared to stay there till she
agreed.

“Yes,” she whispered. “Me sorry.” And then she put her arms
around his neck and hugged him tightly.

Something broke free in his heart and he held her closely,
struggling not to cry. She’d spoken. Only three words but it was a start. He
glanced up to see Katie touch her fingers to her eyes. Part of him wanted to
draw her into the hug, to make her part of his little family. But she herself
had reminded him she was only Tuti’s teacher. Whatever had happened between them
earlier it was too soon for an overt display of affection.

Anyway, she’d wanted to walk away. While he didn’t agree with
giving in to everything children wanted, there was a difference between making a
point and not taking a child out of danger. Up until now he’d been relying on
Katie to know what to do with Tuti, bowing to her superior experience. This
time, she’d been proved wrong.

Her choice of action, as much as Tuti’s recklessness, had
pushed him to rely on his own instincts. The outcome vindicated his decision. He
still respected Katie’s knowledge and ability to relate to children but from now
on, when it came to his daughter, he would trust the only reliable source for
all really important decisions—his gut.

CHAPTER SIX

T
HE
NEXT
DAY
after work Katie
wheeled her mountain bike out of the garage for a test ride before going off
road. She’d told John she rode but she couldn’t actually remember the last time.
The truth hit home in the shape of a flat front tire. Inflating it with a
bicycle pump worked—temporarily. Before she was out of the driveway it had
deflated again.

She had a repair kit but she’d never used it before. Should she
try to patch the tire herself and risk getting out on the trail only for the
patch to fall off? Or should she ask for help?

John leaped to mind but she quickly rejected the urge to call
him. Just because she was helping him with Tuti and they saw each other
regularly now, just because he was handy with tools and would assist her at the
drop of a hat, didn’t mean she wanted to rely on him in any way.

Especially not after yesterday. He was getting under her skin,
just what she’d vowed never to let happen again. The attraction was still
there—had never gone away, if she was honest—but that didn’t mean she had to act
on it. She was happy to help his daughter and to have a casual friendship with
John but anything more would be opening a Pandora’s box she’d firmly shut seven
years ago.

The tree-climbing incident had been an eye-opener to the power
struggle she and John were still dealing with. She was positive Tuti would have
come down once she knew she wasn’t going to get what she wanted. To think that
John thought she didn’t care about Tuti, or would put her in danger… It stung,
professionally
and
personally. It said more about
the issues between her and John than it did of who was right and who was wrong
in that particular incident. She would never do anything to hurt a child,
especially not one she cared about.

And she did care about Tuti despite the history behind her
conception. That sweet girl needed her more than her other students. Plus, Katie
felt a special connection because they’d both lost their mothers at an early
age. But she was also wary of the dangers of letting Tuti get too attached to
her—and vice versa—given that there was no future for her and John, not in the
way they’d once wanted.

But she didn’t have time to think about this now—she had a flat
tire to deal with. She could spend hours figuring out how to fix it herself. Or
she could go to Riley, who knew all about bikes, and she could watch and
learn.

A quick phone call established that her brother was at home and
able to help. Katie wrangled her mountain bike into the back of her car and
headed off across town.

Riley was pruning the apple tree out front when she pulled into
his long curving driveway a few minutes later. Her father, Barry, his gray hair
cut military short, was stacking the fallen branches in a pile to one side.
Riley lowered the loppers and climbed down off the stepladder. Barry dusted his
hands on his work pants.

“Hey, Dad. Riley.” She gave them both a hug then dragged her
bike out of her car. “The front tire won’t stay inflated.”

“This thing is practically an antique.” Riley threw up the
kickstand and squatted to feel the flabby tire. “No wonder the tires are
disintegrating. You’ve had it since—”

“A long time,” her father cut in with a frown at Riley.

“Since I had cancer.” Katie gave her dad an affectionate,
exasperated glance. “Saying the word won’t magically make me sick again. I’m a
survivor.” Just because her mother died from breast cancer when she was ten and
Riley was twelve, her father seemed to regard her as a ticking time bomb,
waiting for the disease to strike again. “What do you think? Can it be patched
or do I need to buy a new inner tube?”

“Let’s have a look. Got a screwdriver?” Riley turned the bike
over and stood it on the handlebars and seat.

“Lot of rust on those fenders,” Barry said. “Where do you keep
your sandpaper, son?”

“In the garage.”

Barry took off for the garage. Katie got out the toolbox her
dad had given her to keep in her car, gave Riley a screwdriver and hunkered down
to watch.

He set about levering the tire off the frame, making sure he
didn’t puncture the inner tube. “Are you cycling with John?”

“I’m going on my own,” Katie said. “Why would you think I’m
going with John?”

“He told me you went to Springvale with him and Tuti. And
you’re tutoring his daughter.”

She eyed him through the spokes. “News travels fast in a small
town. There’s nothing going on between us.”

A shock of dark hair fell over his forehead as he worked. “Hey,
I didn’t say there was.”

“So don’t make a federal case out of it.”

“It was an innocent question.” He gave her a wink. “But now I’m
wondering.”

“Oh, for God’s sake.” Katie picked up a pebble from the gravel
driveway and tossed it back and forth in her hands. “John was against me cycling
off road on my own.”

“He’s got a point,” her father said, returning with a sheet of
sandpaper. He began scraping the rust off the fenders. “It’s dangerous.”

“I’ll be fine.” Katie frowned. “Why does everyone think I’m so
incompetent?”

“Not incompetent. You just have different strengths.” Riley
pulled the last bit of tire away from the rim. “John says you two made a pact to
be friends.”

Friends. The reality was so much more complicated, as she was
finding out. “We’re making a stab at it. For Tuti’s sake.”

“Only Tuti’s sake?” her dad said, rasping away. “Shame. I
always liked John. I thought you two were a good couple.”

“I used to think so. But it turned out he wasn’t like you were
with Mum—totally devoted, solid and loyal.” Half-jokingly, she added, “You are
my model of a perfect husband. I’m still waiting for the guy who can live up to
your example.”

Barry stopped his task to frown at her beneath his bushy gray
eyebrows. “Hmm.” Then he went on sandpapering.

“Got it.” Riley pulled the inner tube away from the tire.
“Let’s take this inside to the sink. I’ll show you how to find a hole in the
inner tube by watching for bubbles under water.”

Katie tossed the pebble and stood. “Coming, Dad?”

“Nah, I’ll finish shining up these fenders and give the chain a
grease,” Barry said.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” Katie gave him a hug.

Then she followed Riley into the house through to the laundry
room. As the sink filled with water her thoughts went back to yesterday and the
subtle power struggle between her and John. She’d had no right to discipline
Tuti, but she would have thought he would at least respect her experience and
knowledge of handling children. And having been drawn into the situation at
John’s house she couldn’t ignore it.

“What happens if you have to discipline Jamie for some reason?”
she asked Riley. “Does Paula get bent out of shape? Do you agree on an
approach?”

Riley turned off the tap and leaned against the counter. “When
Paula’s around, I keep my nose out of it. Jamie’s her kid. She’s raised him for
six years and knows what she’s doing. I’m just an amateur. Why do you ask?”

“Tuti took my shoes when I was at their house yesterday and
climbed a tree with them. John went all Rambo dad on her and scared her farther
up. It was dangerous. He wouldn’t even listen to my suggestions. I’ve been
dealing with kids in that age group for ten years. By his own admission, he
doesn’t have a clue.”

“He’s got a bunch of nieces and nephews.”

“It’s not the same. I bet he just plays with them. He doesn’t
have to make them behave.”

“True, but…” Riley took the inner tube from Katie and plunged
it below the water. “Bottom line, Tuti’s his kid. No one wants to hear someone
else yelling at their child.”

“I didn’t yell. It was good cop, bad cop. I was the nice
one.”

“Did Tuti get down all right?”

“Yes, but she gave John—and me—a scare.”

Riley shot her a look. “So what’s the big deal? So he didn’t
listen to you. He still got her down. Getting a little hot under the collar over
a simple disagreement, aren’t you?”

Okay, so maybe she was making more of this than it warranted.
But she was proud of her child-handling skills and John had called them into
question. They had a history of clashing on fundamental issues. Yesterday’s
disagreement didn’t feel simple. Had she been trying to push him away because
she’d been attracted and that made her uncomfortable? Because she was afraid he
was beginning to matter to her?

Katie blew out a sigh. “I was worried about her safety, that’s
all.”

“No, you wanted him to recognize your superior knowledge.”
Riley cut her a glance. “Admit it, Katie. You like to think you know everything
there is to know about children.”

“I do know a lot about six-year-olds.” She ignored his smirk
and pointed to the inner tube. Bubbles streamed upward through three, no four,
holes. “That looks bad.”

“You’d be better off getting a new inner tube rather than patch
this.” Riley pulled the plug and let the water drain out of the sink. “What
exactly are you trying to prove by going mountain biking by yourself,
anyway?”

“I’m just trying to get out and do something fun.”

“Liar, liar, pants on—”

“Oh, all right. I just realized that I’m not as adventurous as
I used to be.”

“When John dragged you along on his crazy exploits, you
mean.”

“He didn’t drag me. I enjoyed them.”

“You went kicking and screaming.”

“Rappelling and skydiving were scary,” she admitted. “But I
always ended up having a great time. I want that again.”

“He would go with you in a flash if you asked him.”

“Why do you push him at me? I don’t get that. I’m your sister.
He abandoned me when I needed him most.”

In fact, she’d been pretty much on her own after John left.
Riley had been on duty with the SAS in Afghanistan. Her father, although
supportive, couldn’t cope with the emotional fallout. Her friends were there for
her but that couldn’t compensate for the men she loved being absent.

Especially John.

“I don’t know why he left you.” Riley took his time blotting
the wet inner tube on a rag. “I was really pissed at him over that. I wish I
could explain, make you feel better
and
exonerate
John. But he’s never talked about it with me. I only know he loved you and he
was in pain, too. In the end I let it go. He’s been my best mate since primary
school and I’ve never known him to be anything other than a loyal and caring
friend.”

Katie didn’t want to put Riley on the spot. He was entitled to
his friendship with John. But if a woman had hurt
him
badly she didn’t think she could have remained friends with that
woman. Which might explain why John’s mother had withdrawn from her. Except that
Katie hadn’t hurt John. It had been the other way around. Maybe guys were better
able to compartmentalize their feelings. Whatever, she didn’t want to fall out
with Riley over John. So she said nothing.

“You looked up to him as if he were a god,” Riley went on.
“He’s only human. He makes mistakes like the rest of us.”

“He never once suggested he thought he made a mistake. In fact,
he even went so far as to imply his leaving was
my
fault because I wouldn’t agree to invasive treatment.”

“He was worried about you. We all were.”

“If you’re worried, you don’t abandon someone.”

Riley shrugged uncomfortably. Clearly there was only so far he
could defend John. And she knew he felt badly that he hadn’t been there for her,
either.

He tossed the inner tube in the garbage bin outside the laundry
room door. “Go buy a new tube and I’ll help you install it. I would go cycling
with you, but I’m on standby for a major police op tomorrow.”

“It’s okay. This is something I need to do on my own.” When she
and John were together she’d relied on him for all manner of things from
organizing their outings to fixing things around the house. It was nice but it
meant she’d never really grown up. After John had let her down, she’d recovered
on her own, lived ever since on her own. She
was
a
survivor. “And next time I’ll be able to fix my own tire.”

“Katie, you’re a one-woman wonder. You teach, you write, you
have a full life. You don’t need to prove a single thing to anyone.”

“Maybe I have to prove it to myself.”

Riley shook his head with a rueful smile. “At least tell us
where you’re going and when you expect to be back. It’s common sense. Don’t be
some macho mountain bike lady.”

Katie snorted at the idea of her being macho anything. But she
conceded the point. “All right. I’m going to do one of the easy bike trails in
Red Hill. Hardly daredevil stuff.”

“If you’re not used to riding off road even the basic trails
can be tricky. Promise you’ll check in when you’ve finished your ride?”

“I’m not ten years old.”

“You’ll be in the bush on your own.”

“What about this major police op you’re doing tomorrow. Does it
have to do with a drug raid on Nick Moresco?” She wasn’t just stabbing in the
dark. The case had occupied the Summerside Police Department for the past six
months. “You’re not the only one worried about a sibling.”

“Not the same thing. I’ll be part of a team. Tell you what,
I’ll check in when I’m done if you check in with me.”

“Deal.” She could live with that. And he was right to chide her
about safety in the bush. Even experienced hikers got lost.

Katie and Riley walked back out through the house. Barry was
squirting WD-40 into the bike’s gears. “Thanks, Dad,” Katie said. “I’ll go get a
new inner tube and be back shortly.”

Riley followed her to her car and leaned down to talk through
the window. “I know you were hurt when he left but do you ever think about what
you
did to John? It was a two-way street, Katie.
He was gutted when you didn’t take all the treatment options you were offered.
Forgive and forget.”