Tinseltown (11 page)

He grinned. “What about up your shirt?”

Smiling, she rolled her eyes and went upstairs.

* * * *

Zach was so nervous his fingers trembled. He felt like he was a teenager again, having to play his cards just right. Seconds ticked by as he waited for Deb, making him just a little more anxious. Cars filled with photographers sat at the end of the driveway, as they had been for a week now. They were desperate for some show of the two of them together. Well, he would give them one.

He wouldn’t dishonor Deb’s wishes by any means… but maybe, just maybe the cameras would show her how he really felt, since he was an idiot and wasn’t sure how to tell her himself.

She was still reserved, although their kiss earlier definitely felt like a step in the right direction. This past week he expected their relationship to turn to a different level. But instead, he had been pawned off on Deb’s father. The man was pleasant enough, but Zach would have rather spend the time with his wife. Deb also avoided him by spending every waking moment with her mother. He would have to find a gym and fast, because his jeans were snug and he felt like he’d gained at least ten pounds. Of course, shoving his mouth full of the wonderful food they’d prepared wasn’t helping much.

“She’ll be down soon,” Marie said as she came down the stairs. He stood at the bottom, feeling like an out-of-place statue.

“Thanks,” he said, swallowing.

“She looks beautiful,” she whispered as she stepped off the last step and leaned closer. “She also looks like she’s as nervous as you are. Guess it’s not often you have your first real date as husband and wife, huh?”

Zach grinned, trying to look nonchalant, but Marie gave him a motherly, you-can’t-fool-me look. Man, he’d forgotten how mothers had a sixth sense.

A few moments later, Deb opened the door to her bedroom and walked to the platform at the top of the stairs. “I’m not sure this is the most appropriate getup if we don’t want to draw attention to ourselves.”

He couldn’t help the foolish grin spreading across his face at the sight of her. Her hair was swept off her neck, low and to the side, pinned up with rhinestone clasps. Wisps of hair curled and framed her face perfectly. There wasn’t anything overly special about her hair, except it was… Deb.

She wore a black lacy cocktail dress, reminding him of Julia Roberts’ dress in
Pretty Woman
. It fit against her body the way he longed to — tight and against every curve. Her breasts were modestly covered, considering the “v” in the neckline, but the slightest hint of cleavage reminded him they were, indeed, present. The skirt fell just below her knees and on her feet were classy, ridiculously high-heeled black shoes. For the life of him, he’d never understand why women
chose
to wear those things. But he was glad they did because they created a beautiful shape to any woman’s calves, including Deb, who already owned perfectly shaped legs.

He swallowed, unable to rid the dryness in his throat. It was going to be more difficult than ever to keep his hands off her. “You look amazing,” he said as she walked down the stairs. With each step she took, his heart pounded a little harder.

Zach could see the nervousness in the way she held her hands in front of her, one hand fiddling with her wedding ring. When she was close enough, the tremble in her fingers gave her away.

“Thank you,” she said.

He should have had flowers or champagne, or something equally cliché. Instead, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek, inhaling the incredible perfume — vanilla and sunshine — that she used to drive him mad.

Unable to stop himself, he lowered his nose to her neck, where the perfume smelled the strongest, and raised his fingertips to touch the other side of her neck. Ever so lightly, he kissed her and exhaled. Goose bumps rose against her flesh, and he grinned. “You sure you want to go out in public tonight? I’m not sure I can be a gentleman at all.” His lips grazed her skin as he spoke. It was no longer his brain thinking, and he knew he had to pipe down this intense physical urge.

“Mmm. This is just a test to see how gentlemanly you can be.”

“I’m going to fail, I’ll tell you right now.”

“Why?”

“Because the last thing I want is to be surrounded by photographers and good food. I’d rather be upstairs, inside of you right now.”

Her soft intake of breath spurred him on. He turned her head and kissed her deeply. Her body went limp against him and he pulled her close, supporting her weight. She kissed him back. More than he thought she would. His tongue sought everything. She dueled, suckled his tongue and his bottom lip. Teeth scraped, and he ground against her. He had never wanted a woman the way he did Deb.

It was then he knew.

All the physical attraction came not from her beauty, but her, who she was inside. It had fueled his intrigue all these years. He was in love with her. Not just her body, but her. How did this happen? Especially now when he wasn’t sure Deb could ever open up to him.

He pulled away abruptly and leaned his forehead against hers. “I guess you’ll have to put on more lipstick,” he said, trying to make sense of his chaotic brain.

Hearing her husky laugh made him look up. “Probably so. And exotic shimmer isn’t your color, Zach.”

Releasing her, he watched as she moved to the foyer mirror. She took a handkerchief out of her tiny purse and dabbed at the lipstick then reapplied the color. Zach swiped at his mouth with the back of his hand. His life and everything he held fast had just turned upside down.

He couldn’t love Deb. He wasn’t even sure he
wanted
to love her, despite his willingness to marry her. Love and marriage weren’t synonymous for him. Respect and admiration were powerful, but he wasn’t sure it was love. And it certainly wasn’t the best timing for this to happen. What did he know about love anyway? He hadn’t had shining examples like her family while growing up, and what little solace he found in other women certainly hadn’t amounted to love. Not even close.

When he looked up, he saw Deb watching him. “Are you okay?” she asked quietly.

He smiled, knowing he didn’t fool her.
I’m a mess
. “I’m fine.”

She looked at him a few more seconds then put everything back in her purse. “I’m ready when you are.” She stood straight, looking very unsure. He was to thank for the uncertainty.

Walking over to her, he pulled her into his arms, savoring how right it all felt. “I’m sorry if I said something to upset you.”

She pulled back from him a little and frowned. “You didn’t. You’re just not acting like yourself.”

“I’ve got a lot on my mind,” he said, opting for the truth.

“Maybe you can tell me about it over dinner.”

Not a chance. “Maybe.”

Zach tried to usher her to the door. “Uh… you should probably take care of my lipstick,” she giggled as she pointed to his face.

He turned to the mirror. “Oh yeah.”

* * * *

Deb couldn’t figure out what had crawled under Zach’s skin tonight. Everything had seemed fine until he’d kissed her. Had she done something he didn’t like? Did she have bad breath? Was it the way she’d responded? Surely he would have said something before now if it were so simple.

After the grand exit from her parents’ home and waving happily to the crowd of paparazzi, they got in their rental car and drove to an upscale restaurant across town. Photographers chased them and snapped their pictures through the darkened windows of Deb and Zach’s car, but Zach didn’t seem to mind. He kept a confident look on his face and smiled at her when he glanced her way. Inside the restaurant, where it was quiet and dim, Zach sat across from Deb, holding her hand. It wasn’t busy inside and, in fact, they were the only customers on their side of the restaurant.

The confident smile Zach had worn in the car disappeared the moment the door closed to the paparazzi. A deep frown creased his brows, and his troubled eyes looked everywhere but her. She tried to give him an opening to talk to her, but he slammed the door closed with a short answer and fell silent again.

“Okay, Zach. I want to know what’s bugging you.”

He smiled and shook his head. “You’d think I could hide it better than this.”

“It’s just me. You shouldn’t have to hide it.”

He fell silent for a long time, rubbing his chin with his fingers. When he looked up at her, it took him several tries to say anything as he struggled with words. “My dad killed my mom and then killed himself.”

Taken aback, Deb’s eyes widened and her palm went to her throat. Of all the things she thought he might say, she’d never imagined something like this. While she wanted to hear what had happened to his family, Zach was obviously still quite troubled by it.

Reaching across the table, she took his hand and squeezed. “You don’t have to do this, Zach.”

“Yeah, I think I do.” He drew designs in the condensation of his iced tea while avoiding her gaze.

“My family was…” His chuckle was without humor. “Less than ideal. While I was growing up, my parents never had much faith in me. For a while I tried to help them out with things I thought would make them proud. Keeping my room clean, making straight A’s. I just wanted them to love me. But both of them were tied up in alcohol and the occasional recreational drugs when their buddies came over, and I fell by the wayside. I joined drama class because a few of my friends said it was an easy A, and I needed an extra credit for graduation. I didn’t expect to be cast as the lead in
Romeo and Juliet,
and I certainly didn’t expect to be good at it.”

He paused and took a sip of his tea then fingered his chin. “My teacher encouraged me to try my hand at professional acting, so I sent in some headshots. The night of the big finale, my parents came to watch me. I was so happy. I thought maybe this would be the breakthrough they needed, to see that I’d made a life for myself without them. I got a standing ovation. Afterward, I tried to find my parents in the crowd and a talent hawk found me, asked me to meet somewhere. My dad overheard and made sure everyone knew I would never amount to anything and I was destined to be like him, an underpaid construction worker who was drunk more than he was sober, and didn’t give a rat’s behind about anyone but himself.”

Deb’s eyes were full of tears. She didn’t know what to say.

“I’ll never forget how it felt for everyone in the auditorium to look at me with pity after a standing ovation. It was the worst feeling I’ve ever had. At least, until I broke down and sobbed like the baby I was and ran from the room.”

“Oh, Zach,” Deb whispered.

“The talent manager found me in the alley behind the stage and told me to come see him anyway.”

“And the rest was history?” Deb said when she saw him smile.

“Sort of. I got cast in a few commercials. When they called me for
Santa’s Christmas
, my agent told me this movie was my ticket to Hollywood and to go home and pack my bags… and not to look back.”

“And you did?”

“Absolutely,” he said. “My father walked in on me and was furious. When I told him what I was doing, he screamed at me again that I would never amount to anything and I was worthless. He told me I’d never find a decent life in LA or be happy. I told him it was my decision and, at eighteen, I had that right. Looking back now, I know he was jealous that I’d found a way out and he hadn’t.”

Zach was quiet for a long moment. When he looked at her again, his eyes were bright. “I sent him every raving review I could find on myself from the movie. I sent him everything I could to show him I made my own way and I didn’t need him. He called me and demanded money and when I refused, he threatened to kill my mother.”

“It must have been a nightmare.” Deb squeezed his hand again.

“I told him…” He paused as his voice trembled. “To go ahead, I didn’t need either one of them, and they were already dead to me.” Swallowing deeply, Zach looked away and pressed his lips together. “I never got the chance to speak to them again.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

Zach huffed a laugh. “There’s nothing to say. My dad was never a dad. My mother was never a mother. But she didn’t deserve to die. She never took up for me, and she never gave me any physical affection, but I knew somewhere deep inside she loved me. I just wish I had been given the chance to help her before my dad killed her. It’s taken me a lot of years of therapy, but I don’t feel guilty or feel like I caused her death now, but it’s still with me. After
Santa’s Christmas
, I could have sent her to rehab or something. Somewhere she would be safe from him.”

When Deb didn’t say anything, Zach shook his head and laughed derisively.

“I say all this to say, my dad wasn’t an ideal husband or example to me. What I know is only what I’ve seen in movies, Deb.”

Deb frowned, not following his train of thought. “You’ve turned out to be a man who can be proud of himself.”

“I’m proud of my career, definitely, but I don’t know how to be… a husband or a partner or even a boyfriend, whatever you want to call it. I’ve never seen a real family in action until yours.”

Deb smiled. “I think you’ve been great.”

“I’ve never been shown love or experienced it.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying, Zach.” But, oh heavens, she thought she did. Zach was about to tell her it was over before it really began.

“The thing is, Deb, as crazy as this sounds, I don’t think I have to have experienced it to know it’s there.”

He looked at her and realization dawned. New tears sprang into her eyes.

“I think I’m falling in love with you, Deb.”

Chapter 9

The deep breath Deb took at Zach’s words didn’t come close to calming her racing heart or clearing the turmoil in her mind. She stared, unable to say anything. After what he’d just told her about his life, this couldn’t be a joke, could it?

“It’s okay, Deb. You don’t have to say anything right now.” Zach smiled. He reached over, took her hand again, and pressed her fingertips to his lips. “I don’t know the rules of this game yet. I’ve never been in love before.”