Three Thousand Miles (33 page)

“Baby
,
I am so sorry.” He says as he clasps his hands together. I lift my head to look at him and his eyes are filled with sadness. He falls instantly to the floor and he holds his head in his hands. I walk a little closer to him.

“That type of behaviour is not acceptable and I cannot be around you right now.” Adrian sighs as I leave the room.

I walk briskly down to the car and I quickly jump in. I alert the driver to take me back to college as the car the speeds off. I try to wrap my head around what has just happened and as I remember his rage tears begin to flow from my eyes. Who was that guy in there? He was a version of Adrian that I have never seen before and he terrified me. His anger as he threw the vase of flowers petrified me and all I could think of was getting as far away from him as possible. I cannot believe he reacted that way but I am glad that he did. Now that I have seen this side to him, I can finally understand the real him.

The car comes to a stop and I quickly rush out into the cold street. I march into Columbia and I start for Michael’s room. I am so annoyed and scared right now and the only person
that
I need his him. I reach his room and I knock firmly on
the door. He opens the door and I instantly lunge into his arms. My tears are flowing and Michael is surprised by my affection. He quickly moves me into the room and he bangs the door shut. I look up at him as I wipe away my tears.

“Alanna what is wrong?” He asks in a firm voice. I walk over to him and again I grab onto him. He pulls me back and he gazes into my eyes.

“What has he done?” He says. His voice is strained and his eyes look desperate. I pull back from him.

“Alice came to see him and he lost control of his temper.” I again cry as my words choke out. Michael gently wipes away my tears with one fluid motion. He leans into me and he pulls me tighter.

“Did he hurt you?” He whispers.

“No but I saw different side to him and it terrified me,” I confess. Michael holds me in his arms as he strokes my hair gently. I take a deep breath as his strong arms protect me. I close my eyes and I feel safe in Michael’s grasp. After what seems like forever, Michael finally
lets me go
. He walks me over to his bed and sits me down. He takes my hand in his as he begins to talk.

“Alanna
,
I need you to tell me what happened.” I sigh as I begin to tell him everything.

“Oh Alanna
,
you should not have gotten involved with Alice. She is trouble and did you think that Adrian wouldn’t act like this?”

“Call me crazy but I saw that Alice has changed. I wanted Adrian to see that and I hoped that he would have at least have given her chance.” I protest. Michael gently rolls his eyes.

“Alanna you have to realise that Adrian will never forgive what Alice did to him. I know that you want to see the good in everyone but trust me Alice has none. You should stay away from her for your own sake.”

“Michael have you ever met her?” I ask.

“No,”

“Then how can you judge her?”

“It’s simple she abused a child therefore she is not worth the time of the day. I know that you are a little ray of sunshine that wants to see the good
in
everyone but please Alanna, listen to Adrian and don’t talk to Alice again.” I briefly press a smile from my lips as Michael gently strokes my chin. I close my eyes at his touch and I feel as if I should listen to him. Michael has a way of compelling me into doing as he says. He puts everything into perspective and I trust his opinions. I feel that Michael knows everything and he is always right. I look at him and his beauty stuns me. His thick, dark hair is messy and his eyes are piercing. His hand is strong as he gently plays with my hair. He moves a little closer to me and I feel safe in his company.

“Alanna how
did you get to be so… beautiful,
” I look into his eyes as I take in his words. I shortly think that he is joking with me but as I look closer into his eyes, I can tell that he is sincere. I feel nervous as we sit extra close on his bed. I loosen my grip on his hand as I push my hair away from my face. Michael is staring wide eyed at me for a reply.

“I am nothing
,
you are the beautiful one.” Michael smiles at my words and he again clasps my face in his hand. He leans in and our lips almost meet, he gently grazes my nose with his. I know that this is wrong and I know that I should pull away. However, something is holding me back and I do not know what it is. Michael softly pulls my face closer and now our lips lightly touch. I close my eyes as I wait for his kiss.

Michael pulls back from me as I hear a firm knock at the door. I watch as Michael rises from the bed and makes his way to answer the knock. I take a deep breath and I cannot believe what
has
just happened. I let myself get caught up in Michael’s beauty and we almost kissed. My will power was at zero and I cannot forgive myself for my actions. I am playing with his emotions, as I know that nothing can happen between Michael and me. I feel that I love Adrian but I almost gave into my craving for Michael. I hate myself right now and I cannot contemplate my guilt. I know how Michael feels about me and I have now le
d
him on even more. I feel that I cannot be trusted around him. I was so sure that Adrian was all that I wanted but I obviously have deeper
feelings for Michael than I thought. I gaze at him as he stands in a plain white t-shirt and dark blue Levis. His hair is so dark and luscious, his eyes are like heaven and I feel as if I have just entered hell.

Michael opens the door and Adrian rushes in.

“Well hello to you to
o
!” Michael says very sarcastically. Adrian pays no attention to his words as he makes his way over to me. He kneels before me and he places his hand gently onto my leg. I manage to look at him
-
despite my guilt. His eyes are sad and I feel that there is moisture in them. He pushes his hair back nervously as he deeply exhales.

“Baby
,
I am so sorry.” He says in a shallow voice. He locks his eyes on mine and I am lost in them. His beauty is captivating and I could forgive him anything. I feel so guilty about the fact that I almost kissed Michael and I quickly break eye contact with him as that guilt overtakes my body. Adrian gently cups my face as he forces me to look him in the eye.

“Can you forgive me?” He says slowly.

“Okay
,
enough with the drama. Listen this is how it is going to go. Alanna you forgive him, Adrian you kiss her. We smile and rejoice in the happiness that is Alanna and Adrian. The love that lasts and that no
-
one can break. And what do you know; all is well in the world again.” Michael says very sarcastically.

He walks over to us and he rolls his eyes. Adrian smiles at me and
I
briefly return his gesture. I gaze at Michael and I cannot hold in my laugh. I begin to giggle as Adrian stands up. He walks over to Michael and my giggles soon fade.

“I want to thank you for looking after her tonight. I let her down but I can always count on you to be there for her.” Michael narrows his eyes at Adrian’s words.

“I would do anything for her.” My heart races as Michael’s words ring in my ears. Adrian shifts around a little nervously and I am scared of what his reaction might be. However, I am surprised when he reaches out his hand for Michael’s. They shake hands and then Adrian once again turns to me.

“Baby
,
can we talk?” I try to compose myself as my guilt begins to take over. I take a deep breath as I try to respond.

“Sure, but I need a moment alone with Michael.” Adrian quickly makes a nod towards me and then makes his way out the room. The door gently bangs and I instantly turn to Michael.

“Michael about before,” I begin to say but he stops me.

“Alanna don’t worry about that and I won’t say anything to Adrian.”

“No it was wrong I never meant for things to get so heated. I am sorry that I encouraged that behaviour.” I protest. Michael walks over to me and he takes my hands in his.

“Alanna it was a moment of weakness. Do not cut yourself up about it. It doesn’t make you bad person but instead it shows that you are only human.” I smile at him and then I let go of his hands.

I walk out into the hallway and Adrian is patiently waiting by the door for me. He smiles as he sees me and he instantly drapes his arm around my shoulder. We walk slowly to my room and when we enter, I immediately kick off my six-inch heels. I rest myself onto my bed and Adrian sits at my dressing table. He takes off his jacket to reveal a black and white, striped shirt. He stares over at me and I can tell that he is sorry for what he did.

“Alanna, I cannot begin to tell you how sorry I am. I feel terrible that I lost my temper in that way and I hope that you can forgive me.”

“Adrian
,
I believe that you are sorry but who was that person? I have never seen such rage in your eyes and you terrified me.” Adrian exhales as he runs his long fingers through his hair.

“Baby
,
I hate that you witnessed that side to me. However, no matter what I do rage is always there. It takes over me and seeing Alice brought it out in way that I could not control. I saw in your eyes that you were scared of me and that feeling will stay with me forever. I know that you were only trying to help because for some reason unknown to me, you actually care about me. You love me and now I believe even more that I do not deserve you.” I take in his
words and I cannot hold back from him any longer. I rush from the bed and I now I am standing in front of him. I reach out my hand and I gently run my fingers through his tousled hair. I look down into a mesmerizing green eye and I melt. Adrian gently pulls me closer and then with one swift movement he slides me onto his lap. I wrap my legs around him and he grips my back firmly. I look into his eyes and I whisper.

“I am sorry for interfering I won’t do it again. I love you and I could forgive anything you
that
do. You are my world and don’t ever think that you don’t deserve me.”

Seventeen

Graduation day is finally here. I jump out of bed and I quickly shower. I make my over to my bed and I gaze at my graduation robe that lies before me. I smile at the sight of it but at the same time, I am sad that today is my last day of college. The last three years of my life
have
been leading up to this moment and no
w that it is finally here, I don’t
know how I feel about it. My emotions are mixed as I think back on my time here. The long days of classes and the endless study sessions are flashing through my head. I gaze around the room and I remember all the wonderful moments Sophie and I have shared in this room. The part
ie
s and the movie marathons are what I will miss most. The long drama filled nights that we spent talking about Chace and his cheating. This room was filled with laughter and many happy occasions.
From birthdays to part
ie
s and everything in between.
I will miss college and I will miss my life here. I smile as I try to hold back a tear. I reassure myself that my life is just
beginning and that I should be happy that my life is finally going to start
-
out there in the real world.

I slip on my light blue robe and my graduation cap. I walk over to the mirror and I gaze at the girl staring back. I bask in my reflection until my phone disturbs me. I walk over to my bedside table and I quickly answer my phone.

“Hello mom,” I say in a gentle voice.

“Hey sweetie, are you excited about today?” She says in a very proud voice. I smile at her enthusiasm and
I
quickly reply.

“I am excited but I feel a little sad that college is ending.”

“That’s a natural reaction. You spent three years of your life at Columbia but now it’s time for the next chapter of your life to begin.” My mom gushes. I
again smile at her words as my mind flashes to Adrian. I forgot to mention to my mom that
I
would be spending some in London.  I feel that now is the time to tell her.

“Speaking of my next chapter, I am going to London for two weeks.” The phone is silent as I await my mom’s reaction.

“When are you going?” S
he asks in a firm but gentle voice. I nervously clear my throat as I respond.

“Tonight after graduation,” the phone is again silent.

“Well you are an adult and I cannot tell you what to do anymore. But sweetie
,
please be careful. Look after yourself and make sure that you are home before your birthday.” I gently laugh at my mom’s reaction and I am glad that she did not challenge me on my decision. 

“I don’t know if I will be home in time for my birthday.”

“Alanna
,
do you know what I have been doing the last two months?” I lightly sigh as I have a feeling of what she is getting at.