Three Thousand Miles (30 page)

“Are you the girl from Columbia?” She says, as she looks me up and down. I feel a little uneasy around her as I feel that she is intimidating.

“Yes
,
I am sorry
,
I am a little late,” I say in a low tone. She pouts her lips at me as she walks out from behind the desk. She begins to walk arrogantly along the hallway and she makes a signal with her hand for me to follow her. I walk quickly behind her until she leads me into the kitchen.

“Here put this on.” She hands me a white apron and I quickly do as she says. I follow her further into the kitchen and she leads me over to the buffet.

“Now it is about to get busy there are a load of homeless people due in and they can sometimes get rough over the food. Can you handle it?” I quickly take a deep breath and I reassure her that I can.

“Yes, I am sure that I can.”

“Oh you can, well good luck with that,” she says smugly as she turns away. I glance around the room and I can see several other volunteers. I take my place in front of the soup and I quickly notice a girl standing by me.

“Is this your first time?” S
he asks as she locks her eyes on mine. I slowly flash
her a
smile as I reply.

“Yes, I don’t really know what to expect?” I admit. The girl gently smiles back at me.

“Okay, so here are the basics. They will form a queue and you give each one the same amount of food. Only give out seconds after everyone has eaten, and do not let them bull
y
you. If they think you’re weak then they will target you.” I feel even more nervous as I take in the girls words.

“Thanks…
I think.” I say to her. She quickly turns to face the door as it opens. In walks a whole bunch of people and they begin to from a queue. I lift a bowl and I carefully fill it with soup. I place it onto the woman’s tray and then I hand her a roll. She smiles at me and
I
begin to prepare the next bowl.

I stare proudly around the room as I take in the sight of everyone enjoying the food. I cannot contain my smile and I feel very proud of myself. I know that I only dished out a few bowls of soup. However, the feelin
g that
I have inside is overpowering and I feel a sense of achievement.

“Help me clear the plates, please,” the girl says as she holds several plates in her hands. I quickly make my way over the tables and I begin to clear the empty dishes. As I make my back over the kitchen, I gently bump into a woman. A plate falls and it smashes onto the ground. The woman quickly bends down and picks up the shattered pieces.

“I am so sorry,” I say desperately. The woman looks up at me and I am startled at the sight of her.

“
It’s
okay, go and put those plates into the kitchen and ask one of the girls where the dustpan is.” I stare at her and I cannot believe my eyes. What is she doing here and why is she the one giving the orders. I quickly walk away from her and I can tell that she senses something is wrong.

“Wait, where do I know you from?” She asks. I gaze at her and I cannot speak. She walks over to me and she looks directly into my eyes.

“You are the girl from the beach
,
aren’t you?” I quickly nod in agreement and I begin to walk away from her. I drop the plates onto the counter and I hold my head in my hands. What is Alice doing here? I look up and I see her making her way over to me. I watch as she walks slowly and I cannot believe that I am here with Adrian’s mother. I remember all the awful things that she did to him and I narrow my eyes at her. I take in her looks and she is not the way
that
I
remember her from the beach. She does not look that old and she has defi
nite
ly lost weight. She is dressed in black, and her dark hair is in a high bun. She reminds me of Adrian and I cannot bear to look at her. She approaches me and I wait for her words.

“You seem uneasy around me, who are you?” She asks rather brazenly. I adjust my position as I lock my eyes on hers.

“I am Alanna, and I am your son’s girlfriend.” She is shocked as she hears my words. She moves closer to me and I back slightly away from her.

“I see, and how is Adrian?” I shake my head at her and I cannot believe that she has the cheek to ask me that.

“How dare you ask about him after what you put him through?” She looks stunned by my harshness but she nods in agreement with my words.

“I know
that
I don’t have the right to ask about him. However, he is still my son and not a day goes by where I do not think of him. I take it from your reaction he has told you about what happened?”

“Yes
,
I know everything.” She again nods at me.

“I see
,
he must love you to tell you a thing like that?”

“You know what I am surprised that he can love after what you did to him.” My voice is rough as I choke out those words. Alice gently clenches her fists as she thinks of her next words.

“I can never forgive myself for what I did. But I lost the love of my life and instead of being with my son I turned to drugs and alcohol. I needed help and no
-
one was around, no
-
one cared. Alanna, I know
that
you will probably bite my head off for saying this but I would like to talk to you more about Adrian. I want to know what kind of man he has turned out to be and I know that I do not deserve to know. But I would really appreciate it if you would let me in?”

I listen carefully to her words and my head is screaming for me to walk away from her. But my heart is pulling me towards her. I look into her dark eyes and I feel her pain. Something about her is alerting me that she is sincere in her
words and I want to hear her side of the story. I take a deep breath as I make an approving nod towards her. She briefly smiles at me as we make our way over to an empty table. I take a seat and then I await Alice’s next words.

“How old are you?” She asks in a soft tone.

“I am twenty
-
two,”

“Adrian is three years older than you; tell me, what is he like?” I smile as I begin to talk about him.

“He is kind and very generous but his childhood haunts him.” Alice quickly looks down at the table as she begins to tap her fingers nervously on the surface. She looks very awkward and I can tell that talking about him is distressing to her.

“What do you mean by that?” I begin to get nervous as I try to respond.

“He is very controlling and he finds it hard to let people in. He has major trust issues and he feels that he doesn’t deserve love.” Alice shakes her head and I feel that she is trying hard to fight back tears as I tell her about Adrian.

“I can never forgive myself for what I did to him. But Alanna does he treat you right?” I smile at her.

“Yes
,
he treats me like a princess and I love him. But I am not going to lie to you he does have deep issues about what happened.”

“I am not sure much he has told you, but things were awful for us. I had no money, no job, no boyfriend and I was addicted to alcohol. I know I cannot use that as an excuse for the way
that
I treated my son. But it was hard on me and I was young. I was the same age as you are now when I gave birth to him and after his father left us, I couldn’t get over it and
I began
to abuse him.” I listen carefully to her words and I am surprised by her honesty. I was expecting her to lie and tell me that none of this was her fault. But I have to say that I respect her in how honest she is being. I stare into her dark brown eyes and I believe that she is truly sorry for what she did to Adrian.

“I cannot say that I understand your reasons for abusing Adrian. But I do know what it feels like to love someone so much that it consumes you. Adrian left me for a while and that was the worst feeling
that
I have ever experienced.” I feel a little pang of pain as I think back on those days without Adrian. I quickly try to erase that feeling from my mind as I nervously tap my foot against the chair.

“I loved Adrian’s father to pieces and
when he left
,
a part of me died. I could not get out of bed and I could not bear to look at Adrian. Because when I did, I saw Edward. I would lift up my son and as he smiled at me, I would see his father staring out at me from those green eyes. I know it is awful but I resented Adrian. Edward and I never had any problems until he came along and I selfishly blamed him for Edward leaving.” Alice again tries to hold back her tears but this time a gentle drip falls from her eye. She quickly wipes it away and I feel my heart sinking. I instantly reach over and I take her hand. She looks shocked by
my
actions and I feel the same. I know that I should not feel any type of compassion towards this woman but I do. I see her pain and I feel that the love she had for Edward
,
failed her.

“Did you ever love Adrian?”

“Yes
,
I loved him. He was my little boy and I would have done anything for him. He was so beautiful and I was addicted to him. For the first two years of his life, I could not put him down. He was my world and I would never let him out of my sight not even for a second.” I look at her and cannot hold back my confusion. If she loved him, then why did she beat him?

“I don’t understand,” I say. She lets go of my hand and she again begins to tap her fingers onto the surface of the table.

“Those first years of his life everything was perfect. He had two parents that loved him and he was a wonderful child. But things changed when his father left, I began to drink and I showed no interest in my son. Adrian became very rebellious, he would stay out all night and he was always getting into fights. From a young age, Adrian has had a very bad temper that cannot be controlled. He would skip school and I would not know where he was all day. I am not going use this as an excuse for my behaviour, because I know
that
it
was my fault. I never spent any time with him and I let him run wild. But not a day goes by when I don’t think of him.”

“Why did you leave him?” I ask.

“Fear, he killed David to save my life. I could not sit around and watch the guilt tear him to pieces. I panicked and I ran away, I left my son after he saved my life. However, I was scared because I saw something in his eyes when he plunged that
k
nife into David. Adrian was no longer a child and he was ruined.”

Alice begins to silently cry as she chokes out those words. I look at her and I cannot hold back my tears. I hated this woman for so long and now that I am hearing her side of the story, I feel different about her. It is clear to see that she is remorseful of her actions. She loves Adrian and I know that she never showed it, but she does. I quickly think of Adrian as Alice reaches over for my hand. What would he say if he knew
that
I was talking to Alice? He would be very angry with me and I hate to think of what his reaction might be if he were to find out about this. I wanted to talk to Alice before and he made sure that I did not. He hated that I even suggested it and he made me feel stupid for even thinking it. I jump suddenly as I hear my phone ringing. I quickly let go of Alice’s hand and I reach into my pocket, I take out my phone. I glance at Alice and I inform her that Adrian is calling. The ring insists and I slowly answer him.

“Hello,” I say in a shallow voice. Adrian does not take long to respond.

“Baby, are you still mad at me?” He says rather sarcastically. I quickly wipe away the excess tears that run down my cheek. I break a smile from my lips.

“No I am not mad at you,” I reassure him. The phone is silent and Adrian’s breathing begins to get heavy. My heart races as I wait for him to talk.

“Alanna, is everything okay?” I quickly glance at Alice and I resist the urge to tell him everything. I clear my throat as I try to hide the anxiety in my voice.

“Yes
,
everything is fine. Are you still working?”

“Yes
,
I have a meeting later on, what time will you be home?” I rub my forehead as I try to take in his words. I am finding it very difficult to
concentrate and I am itching to tell Adrian that I am here with Alice. I swallow as I respond.

“I should be back in the next hour, why?”

“I have plans for us later, is that okay?” I smile at his words.

“Yes
,
that’s fine. I cannot wait to see you. I miss you Adrian.” Alice glares at me as I show my affection for Adrian. She reaches back over to me and she again takes my hand.

“Adrian,” I begin to say but Alice squeezes my hand. I lock my eyes on hers and I can see the despair building. I look away from her as Adrian brings me back to the conversation.

“Yes Alanna?” He says in a strong tone.

“Nothing I – love you.” I say hopelessly.

“Baby is something wrong?” Adrian’s voice is rough and I fear that he knows something is up. I quickly try to reassure him that everything is okay.