Thoughtless (49 page)

I relaxed and started breathing regularly again. “I…I told her I wouldn’t tell anybody.”

“Really?” he asked, suddenly curious. “The way she was hanging all over him, I figured she’d spray-paint it on the walls.” He shrugged.

“Your sister is quite the character.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“Can you please let me do the fighting from now on?” I giggled nervously and squeezed his hand tighter. Was he really going to buy that? “Yeah, yeah, no problem.” I gave him a swift kiss. “My customers probably aren’t happy with me. I should get back to work.” He laughed. “They probably loved dinner with a show. Speaking of dinner…I’m starving, I think I’ll grab something here.” He laughed again and hugged me tight. “I love you, Kiera.” He was still chuckling as he made his way to a table…the band’s table.

389

I felt like I might be sick.

I didn’t know what Evan was talking to Kellan about in the backroom, but he was in there for over an hour. When they did eventually come out, Kellan kept his head down, and quite sheepishly left the bar. He never so much as glanced at me. I was offended by that at first, but, as I noticed the gossiping whispers around me, I decided that if we’d just had the major fight that the bar patrons think we had…and I suppose, in a way we did, then his reaction was probably the correct one.

He stayed away the remainder of the night. Luckily, Denny accepted my version of the story, and didn’t ask the band about it. When I gave him his dinner later, they were all happily chatting about some sports game that was on last night. Denny smiled at me and leaned in for a kiss, which I immediately gave him. I couldn’t help but look at Evan when I did that, the compromising position that he had walked in on, still blazing in my mind. Apparently, it was in his as well. He glanced over at me too, and blushed a little bit. I avoided looking at him for the rest of the evening.

Denny left shortly after his dinner, and I had to endure a few more hours of huddled whispers from the customers, that quickly silenced at my approach, as I finished out my shift. I hoped none of them were piecing things together to accurately. I didn’t need anyone letting something slip to Denny.

Jenny offered me a ride home. I thanked her for always doing that, and also for her help with Kellan earlier. We were walking across the lot to her car when I stopped in my tracks, my heart suddenly in my throat.

Jenny noticed and stared over at what had my rapt attention. Kellan’s car was parked across the street and he was outside of it, leaning against the door with his arms crossed on his chest. A smile spread over his face when he saw me notice him.

My heartbeat doubled at seeing him. Jenny sighed, and I looked over at her pleadingly. “All right…go. If anyone asks, I’ll say we went for a late coffee and lost track of time or something.” I grinned and hugged her tight. “Thank you, Jenny.”
390

She grabbed my arm as I started to leave. “I’m only doing this once, Kiera.” She shook her head lightly, her pale blue eyes narrowing a bit. “I won’t be involved in hiding an affair.”

I swallowed and nodded, feeling horribly guilty. “I’m so sorry. I never should have dragged you into all of this.”

She looked at me thoughtfully as she released my arm. “You should pick one, Kiera. Pick one, and release the other. You can’t keep them both.”

I nodded and swallowed the painful lump in my throat at that thought. I watched Jenny for a second, as she waved briefly at Kellan, and then made her way to her car. Then I nearly sprinted across the street to him.

He smiled warmly at my approach and taking my hand, led me to the other side of the car, where he sweetly helped me inside. I was glad to see his departure from the bar was just an act, and he didn’t seem to have any problems being around me. As I watched him cross the front of the car, our horrid fight much earlier in the evening started replaying itself in my head, and a certain section of it just wasn’t leaving me.

I forced a frown on my face as he slid into the car, closing the door gently behind him. Kellan eyed me curiously. “What? I haven’t been around you for hours.” He smiled wryly. “What could I have possibly done?” he purred.

Keeping my face frozen in disapproval, I stated, “I’ve been dwelling on something you did earlier…for hours.”

He cocked his head charmingly to the side. “I did quite a bit…can you be more specific?”

The corners of my mouth started to rise, and then true irritation made me scowl. “Oh…god…please.” I smacked him on the arm. “How could you mock me like that in front of Evan and Jenny?” I smacked him repeatedly on the arm. “That was so embarrassing!”
391

He leaned away from me and laughed. “Ow! Sorry.” He smiled wickedly. “I was making a point.”

I smacked him a final time. “I think you made it, asshole!” He laughed again. “I think I’m a bad influence, you’re starting to swear as much as I do.”

I smirked at him and snuggled up close to his side. He looked down at me. “You can mimic me sometime if you like?” He seemed entirely too excited by that prospect, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

I blushed, remembering his…performance. “You were quite good at…that.”

He laughed again. “Not my first time.”

I gaped in disbelief at his answer and he chuckled at the look on my face. Then suddenly, he got an odd glint in his eyes. It made my heart quicken. “Hmmm…” He cocked his head to the side and smiled crookedly. “You are right…that wasn’t very fair of me.” He grinned fully and my heart skipped a beat. “Here, I’ll do me…” I was about to protest that it wasn’t nearly the same thing, the two of us locked in a car with only me to hear him, when he snuck his arms around me and held me tight against his body, bringing his lips directly to my ear.

My argument left me. My conscious thought left me.

Increasing his breath in my ear, he groaned lightly. I shut my eyes, my own breath increasing. The warm air passing his lips tickled my neck, giving me shivers as he let those soft lips brush my ear.

“Oh…” He elongated the word enticingly, then inhaled noisily. I was shocked at my body’s reaction – electricity shot through me instantly.

“God…” He strained his voice intimately and ran his hand up my thigh. I shifted on the seat, my breath embarrassingly fast.

392

“Yes…” He whispered the word, and added a noise on the end that made me lose all pretense of control.

I spun to face him, grabbing his neck and pulling him into me, kissing him hard. Excitement and surprise coursed through me as our kiss deepened. He smelled so good…he tasted so good…he would feel so good. Maybe a car wasn’t as bad as a dirty floor?

Abruptly, he pulled away from me. “Can we do something?” he calmly asked, his eyes sparkling playfully.

“Yes…” I practically moaned the word. God, he could do anything he wanted to me…

He pulled back a little farther and grinned. “Do you need a minute?” The smile on his face turned a little smug, and he laughed as I smacked him on the arm again.

He started the car as I frowned at him, my face heating embarrassingly. Damn…he was good. “What did you have in mind?” I said a little grumpily.

He laughed at my look and shook his head a little. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you all…riled up.” I raised an eyebrow at him and he laughed enticingly. “Okay…yeah, maybe I did.” He winked and I blushed even more. “But right now, I want to show you something.” He smiled breathtakingly at me and I could only nod as we pulled away from the street.

I sighed contently and relaxed into him, his arm slung over my shoulders holding me tight. I was gazing into his amazing eyes, watching the streetlights alter the color, when I noticed that we were driving towards Seattle Center.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked him curiously.

“Well, I did promise you that we’d go up the Space Needle.”

“Kellan…it’s two in the morning, it’s closed.”
393

He smiled at me. “It’s okay…I know people.” He winked.

We parked and like the first time we came here, he grabbed my hand.

A man, who obviously worked there, met us and let us in. I looked up at Kellan curiously. The man had been expecting us. What had Kellan been up to this evening? He handed the man more than a few large bills and smiling, the man led us to the elevators at the Needle. As the doors closed in front of us, I leaned over and whispered to him, “How much did you give him?”

He smiled and whispered back, “Don’t worry about it. The house wasn’t the only thing my parents left me.”

He winked at me and I was going to ask him another question, but the elevators were rising and through the front of the glass doors I could see the city quickly dropping below us. I gasped and pressed against the far wall. Heights weren’t my favorite, and the elevator suddenly felt tiny and very breakable.

Noticing my pallor, Kellan turned my chin, so I was looking at him.

“You’re completely safe, Kiera,” he said, then he kissed me gently and I completely forgot about the fragile looking elevator.

We arrived at the top, just as my hands were coming up to tangle in his hair, his arms slipping around my waist, our kiss now quite intense.

The man Kellan knew cleared his throat, quite loudly, and we both looked over at him. I blushed and Kellan laughed.

“I guess we’re here,” he chuckled, leading me out of the elevator.

He patted the man on the back and grabbing both of my hands, walked backwards, towards the edge of the inside observatory overlooking the city. It was dark in the building, since it was closed. Only a couple of emergency lights were on, and they did little to illuminate the room. But it seemed every light was on outside, and the city glowed beneath us.

“Kellan…wow…it’s beautiful,” I said softly, stopping to look out over all the sparkling lights.

394

“Yes, it is,” he said, equally as soft, but he was leaning against the railing with his back to the view, staring at me, not the city below us. “Come here.” He held his arms out to me.

We were on the inside of the needle, and a safe distance from the edge, so I felt okay enough to walk over to his embrace and lean against the railing with him. He turned his head to look outside at the city, but now all I could see was him. I studied his features in the half-light; he was more breathtaking than the view. I couldn’t see why this perfect creature was enamored with me.

“Why me?” I whispered to him.

He turned to look back at me and as expected, my breath caught when he smiled. “You have no idea how attractive you are to me. I kind of like that.” He cocked his head to the side as he watched me blush. He was thoughtful for a second, then added quietly, “It was you and Denny…your relationship.”

I ran my fingers through his hair above his ear and frowned. “What do you mean?” He looked back over the city, but didn’t say anything. I grabbed his cheek and made him look back at me. “What do you mean, Kellan?” I repeated.

He sighed and looked down. “I can’t explain this properly, without…without clarifying something Evan said.” I frowned again and thought back over our earlier fight, it seemed a lifetime ago, so much had changed. “When you told him, quite rudely by the way, to back off?”

He looked back up at me, looking like he’d rather not talk about it.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t understand…what does that have to do with me?” He smiled and shook his head. “Nothing…everything.” I half-smiled at him. “Eventually, you’re going to start making sense, right?”

395

He laughed and looked over the city again. “Yeah…just give me a minute.”

I embraced him tightly, putting my head on his shoulder. He could have all the time in the world, if I could keep holding him like this. The city twinkled mesmerizingly and I inhaled his intoxicating scent deeply, as I snuggled further into his leather jacket.

He held me back just as tight, lightly rubbing my back with one hand, the other holding the back of my head. Finally, he slowly said, “You and Evan were right about the women. I’ve been…using them…for years.” I pulled back a little to look at him. “For years? Not just because of me?” I felt oddly hurt by that.

He tucked some hair behind my ear. “No…although, that certainly made it worse.”

I frowned, slightly uncomfortable by the conversation. “You shouldn’t use people, Kellan…for any reason.”

He raised an eyebrow at me and smiled slightly. “You didn’t use me, to block out Denny our first time?” I blushed horribly and looked away.

Of course I had used him. He grabbed my chin and made me look back at him. “It’s okay, Kiera. I suspected that.” He sighed and looked out over the water on our other side. “It didn’t stop me from believing we might have had a chance though. I spent that whole damn day, wandering around the city, trying to figure out how to tell you…how much I loved you, without sounding like an idiot.”

“Kellan…” I had always wondered where he went that day.

He looked back at me. “God…when you went right back to him, like we were nothing at all, that killed me. I knew it…” He shook his head, almost angrily. “The minute I finally came home, and heard you two upstairs, I knew we didn’t have a chance.”

I blinked in surprise. “You heard us?” I was confused. Kellan had come home much later…and drunker.

396

He looked down, like he hadn’t meant to mention that. “Oh…yeah. I came back and heard you guys in your room, getting…reacquainted.

That…pretty much sucked. I grabbed a fifth, headed to Sam’s and, well, you know how that turned out.”

An odd guilt washed through me. “Kellan, god, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

He faced me again. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Kiera…” He looked away for a second. “I was such a dick to you afterwards. I’m sorry about that.” He grinned sheepishly at me and I grimaced at the memory; he had been a jerk. “I’m sorry, I tend to lose the filter on my mouth when I’m angry…and no one seems to be able to make me angri-er than you.” He smiled apologetically at me.

I laughed once and raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ve noticed that.” I thought back over some of our more colorful fights. He laughed softly and guilt washed through me. “You were always right though. And I did kind of deserve your…harshness.”