Thoughtless (44 page)

I struggled to keep the incredulity from my face. She turned him down…repeatedly? I had been so bad at it, that it was a wonder to me that someone could. “Why didn’t you…?”

She looked at me thoughtfully. “I knew what he was like, even from the beginning. I’m not interested in a one-nighter, and I don’t think he’s
349

capable of anything more.” She shook her head. “At least, not yet. Maybe one day he’ll grow up, but…” she shrugged again, “it wasn’t worth it for me.”

I blushed and looked away, feeling really stupid. She was right. That was what Kellan was - a seducer. But he wasn’t relationship material.

Never had been, never would be. I watched him with his woman sadly.

Jenny looked over at me curiously.

“Why do you ask, Kiera?”

I realized I didn’t have a good reason to ask her about Kellan. “No reason. Just curious, I guess.”

She stared at me intently for a second, and I wondered how to walk away without offending her. “Did he…did he hit on you?” I blanched and struggled to maintain my composure.”No, no of course not.” That was pretty true…well, maybe half the time anyway.

She didn’t buy my answer. “If you need to talk to me, Kiera, about anything, you can. I would understand.”

I nodded and grinned, like I hadn’t a care in the world. “I know.

Thank you, Jenny. I better get back to work, I see some thirsty people.” I tried to laugh, but it came out dead and hollow.

She watched me leave, clearly suspicious, and then she turned and looked at Kellan, equally suspicious. God, they were friends…would she talk to him? Would he tell her anything?

*******************

I couldn’t escape it. If I had the night off he would bring a woman home, and I’d have to endure the sound of them kissing in the kitchen before they disappeared upstairs. On nights I worked, he would usually already be…deeply involved in his date, by the time I trudged upstairs.

350

And these women were not concerned in the least that Kellan had roommates. In fact, I don’t think they were even concerned that he had neighbors. Maybe they were under the false assumption that Kellan gave out awards for who could be the loudest…who was the most enthusiast-ic…who could say “Oh god” the most. Then again, maybe the jerk did actually give out prizes. And I was getting sick and tired of hearing Kellan’s name being called out. I mean, really…he was aware of his own name. Actually, the
only
name he
was
probably aware of in the whole room was his own.

I couldn’t even escape it at work. He always seemed to be tucked away somewhere, shoving his tongue down someone’s throat. One time, I had even watched him try and help a girl play pool, which made me laugh smugly, since I knew he was a worthless pool player. But watching him bend someone else over the table…yeah, that had hurt a little.

Watching their joint shot miss horribly and watching her immediately spin in his arms to practically molest him…that had hurt a lot.

By the time he was up to the fifth “date” in a row, in just that week alone, I finally lost it. Trying to ignore the laughter and intimate noises drifting across the hall, I angrily shifted in bed.

“Denny!” I snapped.

He shifted over to look at me and took his eyes off the uncomfortably loud TV he was trying a little too intently to watch. “What?” I glared at him angrily. “This is beyond ridiculous! Do something! I need some freaking sleep!” And for Kellan to not be a man-whore! Our last kiss in the kitchen had been so amazingly soft and tender, but now it seemed as phony as the over-eager noises coming from his room.

Denny looked alarmed and slightly embarrassed. “What do you want me to do? Knock on his door and ask him to keep it down?” Yes! That was exactly what I wanted him to do…maybe he could even throw the hussy out! “I don’t know…do something!”

“You know, he does have to put up with us.” He laughed softly.

“Maybe this is payback.”

351

I looked away swiftly, before my suddenly hurt eyes could betray me.

It was something all right, just not what Denny thought.

Denny considered something for a moment. “It’s a little weird. Kellan has never had issues with women, but when we moved in, he sure seemed to go through a dry spell.” He shook his head. “Well, apparently everything is back to normal.” He looked down at me sheepishly. “Not that I condone that. It’s just, well…Kellan is, you know, Kellan.” He shrugged.

More miffed than I should be at that statement, I snapped at Denny,

“What do you mean, ‘never had issues with women’? You knew him for one year in high school, and he was what…a freshman, sophomore?

How active could he have possibly been back then?” Looking a little curious at my reaction, he shrugged. “Well, let’s just say that Kellan got an…early start.” He laughed at a memory. “This one time, when his parents were gone, he brought home these twins…” He stopped relaying the story at the icy daggers I was glaring into him.

“Not for me. They disappeared into his room. I didn’t see a thing. I didn’t touch them…promise.” He smiled sheepishly and said nothing further.

My icy stare didn’t stop. I had not thought
he
had touched them. That was not what had me pissed off. So why was I so angry? So, Kellan had always been a slut. The way he was with women, was that any great shock? He wasn’t mine, I wasn’t his. I really needed to let this go…

I fought back sudden tears and tried desperately to keep my voice even. “Just talk to him, please.”

He looked at me intently for a second, before finally saying, “No.” My icy daggers returned. “Why not?”

Still looking at me thoughtfully, he calmly replied, “I’m sorry, but you’re overreacting.”

352

I sat up on my elbows, getting irritated at him. He didn’t usually deny me anything. ”Overreacting!”

He sat up straighter too. “I hate having to tell you, no, Kiera, you know that, but…the fact is, this is his place and if he wants to…entertain nightly, then he has every right to. He’s letting us stay here for next to nothing. This is the best we can do right now. I’m sorry, but you’re just going to have to ignore it.”

His tone, although pleasantly accented, offered no rebuttal. He was not going to budge on this. It was not a tone I was used to hearing from him. I didn’t like it.

“Fine,” I said heatedly, flopping back down to my pillows.

He sank back on to one elbow, tilting his head to the side, watching me. Suggestively, he ran a few fingers down my arm. “You know…we could try and drown them out?”

Absolutely not in the mood, I smacked him in the chest with my pillow and flopped over on my side, away from him. He sighed irritably and shifted to look back at the TV, turning up the already too loud volume just a tad, as the noises across the hall miraculously increased.

“Fine…can I finish watching my show then?”

“Whatever.” I bit my lip, and prayed for sleep to take me.

A few days after that, still nothing had changed. Denny really wasn’t going to talk to Kellan about something he deemed none of our business.

I disagreed, but I couldn’t really explain why to him. I was getting beyond irritated.
I
was about to “speak” with Kellan about it… and I wouldn’t be nearly as diplomatic as Denny.

After kissing Denny goodbye, a brief peck that I didn’t even bother to get out of bed for, and that, although endearing, clearly said, ‘I’m not happy with you buddy’, I dressed and went to the bathroom to get ready for my day. I looked horrid. There were deep circles under my eyes from lack of sleep, and my hair was a mass of snarls from tossing and turning.

Kellan’s newest behavior was going to drive me straight to the loony bin.

353

I ripped through my hair angrily, picturing Kellan’s perfect face in every snarl.

Sooner than I would have liked, I saw his actual face…and it was more perfect than in my imagination, which at the moment, I deeply resented.

“Mornin’.”

I said nothing, his sparkling eyes, charming greeting and perfectly wild, messy hair instantly irritating me. I silently vowed to not utter a word to him today. If I had to hear…too much…from him, then he could hear absolutely nothing from me.

“Kiera?”

Stubbornly, I grabbed a coffee cup and began pouring some, ignoring his smooth voice, ignoring how amazing he smelled, even from a distance.

“Are you…mad at me?” His voice seemed amused by that idea.

Breaking my vow of silence, I glared over at him. “No.” Well, that didn’t last long.

“Good, because you shouldn’t be.” His smile faltered while he spoke.

“Well, I’m not…” I knew my tone was snotty, but I couldn’t seem to help it. If he
was
going to hear me this morning, then at the very least, I could make it an unpleasant sound. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“We
both
ended things, when it started getting…out of hand.” He cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes while he spoke.

“I know that. I was there.” There was definitely some ice in my voice, and he frowned at hearing it.

“I’m only doing what you asked. You
wanted
to know if I was seeing someone.” His tone was starting to get snotty as well. He was not happy with my attitude this morning.

354

That was fine with me. I wasn’t happy with his…behavior. “I didn’t want secrets between us…but,” I shook my head angrily as I glared at him, “I didn’t want to see it!”

His eyes cooled as they narrowed even more. “Where would you have me…?” He stopped and took a calming breath. “I have to see it…hear it.

You’re not exactly quiet either. Do you think I like that? That I’ve ever liked…” He took another deep breath and stood up while my face heated in embarrassment. “I try and understand. You could do the same.” And not looking at me again, he left the room.

I took the bus to school, as I had ever since Kellan started his…dates.

Really? He wanted me to understand? Was I just supposed to be okay with his…whoring all over town? Yes, he had to listen to me be with my
boyfriend,
but…well, I’m not sure how that relates, but what Denny and I had - have - is vastly different than just screwing for the sake of screwing. It was sickening. I hated every second of every day.

I sighed as I walked through the campus to my class, the chill in the air causing the other students around me to hurry towards the warmer buildings. I also missed him every day. Even now…I missed him. My withdrawals were no less painful, simply because I was angry at him. If anything, they were worse. Being…replaced, made it worse. I sighed again as I entered the building where my Lit class was, and immediately froze. Standing just down the hall was a familiar head of springy red curls. Curls that I didn’t want to see any closer, curls that were walking my way, curls that, even from a distance, looked agitated.

Candy stopped directly in front of me as I tried to step away from the doors. “Are you Kellan’s girlfriend?”

Well, abrupt then. No formal how do you do? I’ve never even been introduced to this girl.

I sighed and stepped around her, to walk towards my class. She followed close beside me, her hair flaming as red as her mood. “No…I already told your spies that, months ago. He’s just a roommate.”
355

“Well, people keep telling me that they’ve seen the two of you together all over campus…all over each other.” Her tone was annoyingly snotty.

By people, I assumed she meant her two friends. I blushed, knowing that we had been a little casual at school…although, we were hardly “all over each other”. I picked up my step, hoping I could lose her inside the classroom. She easily matched my pace and glared at me icily, clearly expecting an explanation.

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you. I have a boyfriend and it is
not
Kellan.” A boyfriend that I was determined to remain faithful to. A boyfriend who did not drop his pants for every willing woman who walked by. Irritation knotted my stomach, and I blurted out something I really shouldn’t have. “If you really want to hook up with him so bad, you should just go to Pete’s bar. He’s always there.” She stopped following me, just as I reached the door to my sanctuary.

“Maybe I will,” she replied, rather haughtily, as I walked through the door.

Well, that’s just great…

As if to further accentuate how sucky my day was, the stupid bus broke down on the way home. They made us wait in the bus until a new one came to pick us up. They wouldn’t even let us out to walk if we so chose. Personally, I think the bus driver was having just as crabby of a day as I was, and was exerting his power over us helpless life forms. Of course, some of the more aggressive people simply pushed their way off the bus, but I wasn’t that forward of a person…and the bus driver scared me a little bit, so I just stayed put and grumbled a lot.

I had already stayed late at school, studying, and avoiding home, if I were honest with myself, so now I was running really late for work. I should have gone straight there, but my original hope had been to get home in time to take a refreshing shower. It had been a long, emotional day.

Kellan’s car was in the driveway as I hurried past it to the front door. I hated to ask him to do anything, and I really didn’t need another
356

awkward car ride, but maybe he could help me out and take me to Pete’s? My shift started in ten minutes. If I had to take yet another bus, I was going to be so incredibly late…

I swiftly went to my room and set down my bag. Pulling off my blouse, I grabbed my Pete’s t-shirt from the floor, where I had tossed it last night after my shift. Quickly, I put it on then scrounged around the room for an elastic band. Finding one in-between the bed and the nightstand, I hastily began pulling my hair into a low ponytail. I put my jacket back on and grabbed my bag again, and made my way to the hallway.

I was just wondering where Kellan might be, when I heard soft music from his room and I noticed that his door was cracked open. Only thinking that I was massively late and needed his help, I went to the door and automatically put my hand on it, opening it slightly wider. I froze in shock when I peered through the crack in the door. My stomach clenched and threatened to rise. My mind wouldn’t register what I was witnessing.