This Time Around (Maybe) (13 page)

I fill up the
bathtub, undress and get in. The warm water feels amazing, and I let my head fall back, feeling relaxed after what turned out to be a stressfully eventful evening. An hour later, I’m in my robe and walking towards the bedroom, when I hear banging. I rush into the games room, where Ryan is beating the shit out of a punching bag, barehanded.

“Ryan…”

He cuts in. “I’m not good company right now, Tay.” I think it’s just hit him. His father. His sister. I wonder if I should leave him alone, or if he needs me right now. He punches the bag a few more times, and then turns to face me.

“Go to bed,” he says, before ignoring me.

“I’ll wait for you,” I tell him, not backing down. He stops and his body goes rigid. He then turns, walking towards me.

“You don’t want to
be around me right now,” he says. His knuckles are red but not split, and there is sweat tricking down his bare chest. I take a step, so we’re so close that we’re almost touching.

“Don’t push me away
, Ry,” I say, putting my hand on his arm.

He stares at it for a second before replying. “I’m not pushing you away I just need
−”

I cut in
, “I know what you need.”

“You don’t want me to fuck you right now,” he says, turning his back on me and walking back to the centre of the room. Bristling a little at his rejection, I head back into his bedroom and take my robe off, getting under the sheets.
Since it doesn’t look like I’ll be getting any action tonight, I decide to take care of it myself. I stroke my fingers over my nipples, then trailing them down over my stomach, past my belly button and…

“What are you doing?” he asks in a tone that lets me know he knows
exactly
what I was doing.

I pull the sheet up to my chin. “Nothing,” I lie.
He rips the sheet off me, his eyes raking over my naked body.

“You sure you want me right now?” he says, his eyes still on my body.

I shiver. “Yes.”

As soon as the word leaves my mouth, he’s on me, kissing my lips roughly and tangling his hands in my hair. His body is still damp with perspiration, and I moan at the friction
of his body against my nipples. He smells so good, all Ryan, cologne and sweat. He pulls his mouth away, straddling my hips without putting any weight on my body. He lifts a finger to his mouth, sucking on it before reaching his hand back and gently stroking me. I mouth the word ‘fuck’ as he slides a thick finger inside me. He’s still wearing his basketball shorts, and I need him to take them off. Now. I lift my hands up, sticking my thumbs into each side of his waistband, and slowly lower them. My gaze hungrily takes in my favourite part on a man, the sexy V that points to something I wouldn’t mind having my mouth wrapped around right now…

I look up into his eyes, darker than usual, and see him smirk. He moves off me and
rolls me over onto my stomach. I hear him take off his shorts, then lean over me and kiss me on my neck. He pulls my hair aside and trails kisses down my neck, and all the way down my spine. I beg for him to give me more, but he takes his time with me, until I lose my patience. I lift myself up on my knees and push back against him, hoping he can take a damn hint. When I feel his tongue suddenly on me, I call out his name, fisting the sheets with white knuckles. His tongue leaves me, and I sigh in disappointment, until he slides into me, thrusting hard, the headboard banging with each movement.

I push back against him, loving the feel of him. He puts his hand on the back of my neck, gently holding me in place. He reaches down between us and toys with my
clit, pushing me over the edge. I bite down on the pillow as I reach my peak, my thighs quaking. Ryan quickens his speed, and I know he’s now concentrating on himself, on getting him to where I’ve just been. I turn my head to look at him. When he sees my eyes on him he leans down and kisses me, long hard and wet.

“I love you,” he tells me as he finishes, slamming into me for the last time.

“Love you, too,” I mumble, feeling tired and sleepy, and so fucking relaxed and satisfied. He pulls out of me, and spoons me from behind.

“Why do you put up with me?
” he asks. Ryan rarely gets moody. Unless he’s jealous, or feeling some other caveman tendency, he is generally easy going, quick to joke and playful. When he does get into a mood where he snaps at me, he usually feels bad afterwards, and is always sure to make up for it. While Reid is generally broody all the time, Ryan has a temper that hardly comes out, but when it does, people better run.

“For the sex,” I reply, earning me
a playful bite on my shoulder. “Okay fine, you also bring me food all the time. That’s a really good quality in a man.”

I kiss him on the back of his hand. “Because
, Ryan Knox, I always knew you were going to be mine. I’ll never love anyone how I love you, and because you have a really huge−” He cuts me off by turning my face and kissing me.

*****

After trying all different kinds of social networks and coming up with nothing, we decide to ask Summer’s dad for help. Apparently, he has all kinds of badass connections, plus since he used to be friends with Ryan’s dad, maybe he knew something about her. Anything at all. Jack Kane is a scary looking man, with tattoos and a beard. He looks like a biker, but he has kind eyes and a nice laugh.

“Now what?” I ask Ryan as we leave Jack’s house.
Jack had no idea about Persephone. In fact, he seemed as shocked as we were. I take his hand as he leads me to his bike.

“Now, beautiful, you are going to teach your class and I’m going to the bar.”

I look at my watch. “Fuck.”

Ryan laughs. “Yes, we better hurry our asses.”

I pause at his bike. “How are you feeling?”

“Surprisingly optimistic
, actually,” he says, tugging on a curl of hair. “I think you might have something to do with that.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you.”

“What did I do?” I ask, wrapping my arms around him.

“Well, you’re here for one,” he says, his eyes soft.

He’s so damn sweet. “Can we fit in a quickie before work?”

Ryan laughs. “Look what I’ve created. Or were you like this before we got back together?” he says, his look turning dark. Ahh, the huge elephant in the room. I haven’t told Ryan yet that I haven’t been with anyone else. It makes me look kind of pathetic, but at the same time I guess it’s a little romantic.

Who am I kidding, it’s definitely pathetic.

“Well…
uhh… you see,” I ramble, feeling a little awkward.

His jaw ticks. “Let’s go,” he says, turning his back on me and putting on his helmet. I do the same, sighing and
getting on behind him.

We get home and he walks me to my door. “Will you come to the bar tonight to see me?” he asks.

I nod, “Sure, I’ll be there around nine with Isis.”

“Okay,” he says leaning down to give me a quick kiss. “Look about before, I’m sorry. I have no reason to be angry, considering…
fuck. I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you too
, but, Ryan−”

He cuts me off
, “You don’t have to explain.” He gives me a small smile and then walks away.

*****

Isis giggles and smooths down her dress. Pre-drinks were not a good idea. I only had one drink, but Isis decided four was a nice even number.

“Tag is going to love me in this dress,” she says, beaming.

I laugh. “Have you even seen him since that night?”

“Well, no. But the chemistry was undeniable.”

“So is that what those drinks were about? Liquid courage?” I ask, crossing the road to the bar.

She hiccups
. “I guess so.” I don’t think Tag is going to be turned on if she’s sloppy drunk, so I hope she sobers up a little before trying to approach him.

“How do I look?”
she asks. She’s wearing a white dress; this one strapless and peplum. With all her beautiful red hair, she kind of looks like Ariel from
‘The Little Mermaid.’

“Beautiful.”

“Thank you. You look hot too. You’re totes, a babe,” she says, nodding appreciatively as she gives me a once over.  Great, drunk Isis says ‘totes.’ We walk to the bar’s entrance arm in arm, and instantly hear the music and laughter. The place is pretty packed tonight. I can’t help but feel a sense of pride as I walk in. Ryan has really done well for himself. Ryan, Tag and Reid are all serving customers, and I instantly know why the bar is filled with women. Reid is wearing a black T-shirt, and Ryan is wearing white. Apart from Reid’s scar and their different hairstyles, you can’t tell them apart. Tag is wearing a tight white singlet, showing off his muscles. This is like the male version of fucking Hooters. I try to tone down the jealousy, but as I look around and wonder which one of these girls Ryan has been with, I start to grind my teeth. Ryan spots me and smiles, biting his bottom lip as he sees what I’m wearing. High waisted denim shorts and a black crop top, showing about two inches of my stomach. Paired with red platform heels, I think I clean up pretty well.

“I want to run my hands over that bald head,” Isis says
into my ear. I scrunch up my face at that visual, and head to the bar as I see Ryan walk towards me.

“Look at you,” he says, pulling me into his arms and kissing me. “What do you want to drink?”

“Juice for me and I think Isis needs a water,” I tell him, looking behind me at Isis who is blowing Tag a flying kiss. Get some game woman! Ryan chuckles and leads me to the stool right in front of where he was standing. He lifts me onto the chair, giving me a look so heated, I forget all about my jealousy and insecurities.

“You take my breath away,” he says so only I can hear. “I’m going to fuck you in those heels tonight.”

I blush. Ryan leads Isis to her seat and helps her up; he says something to her before getting back behind the bar. Reid and Tag both say hello, and Ryan gets us our drinks. I don’t bother trying to pay because last time Ryan made a scene over it when I told him I wanted to. He went all dramatic and told me that this bar was mine, and if I wanted cash, I could take it from the cash register. He then opened said register and asked me how much I wanted. I want to kill him all over again at the memory.

Isis looks at the bottle of water and then narrows her eyes. “Water? Really?”

I shrug. She isn’t slurring her words so she can’t be too drunk, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.

“One water
, then one drink,” she says, nodding her head like we made a deal.

I grin. “Are you bartering with me?”

“It’s called compromise, and… wait what was I talking about? Oh, hi Tag,” she says, leaning on her palm.

“Isis,” he says, smiling. “
Taiya, looking gorgeous I see.”

“Always,” I answer, winking at him. He chuckles and looks behind us, asking if anyone is waiting to be served. I look for Ryan, and frown when I see him at the opposite side of the bar
talking to a woman. He’s shaking his head no at her, while she leans closer to say something to him. Who exactly is that? It could just be a friend. Men have women friends all the time, right? When she reaches up her hand to touch his jaw, I have my answer. Ryan looks over at me, as if checking to see if I saw that, grimacing when he realises I did. The woman follows his line of direction and her lips tighten. She walks away, and I see Ryan rub the back of his neck, as if steeling himself before having to deal with me. I look away and down into my juice, moving the ice cubes around with the straw.

“Tay,” he says, wrapping me in his arms from behind.

“Who was that?” I ask, not beating around the bush.

He sighs, like he knew the interrogation was coming. “Someone I used to know.”

“Right, and I get that, Ryan, but why was she touching you now?”

“She didn’t know I was taken.” Then he mutters under his breath, “And she didn’t believe me when I told her I was.”

I nod. “Why would they believe you, right? I mean you’ve been every woman’s go-to-cock for the last year.”

He flinches at my comment, gripping the bridge of his nose.
“It’s going to happen, beautiful, and each time I’m going to tell them I’m not interested.”

That mollifies me somewhat, and I know I may be overreacting
, but it still hurts. “Stupid whore,” I mutter under my breath.

“She’s not a whore just because she slept with me
, babe. Don’t be like that,” he says, sounding disappointed. Disappointed! In me!

“Are you sticking up for her?” I ask, my mouth gaping.

“No, but it’s not her fault, is it? I’m the one in the wrong, not her.”

Yo
u know how in books, the man usually sleeps around a lot and doesn’t really care or respect anyone’s feelings, but when he meets
the
woman he changes instantly, treating her like a queen because she’s different and not skanky. Why couldn’t Ryan be like that! My rational side knows that Ryan respects all women. He doesn’t judge them or treat them badly. I should be happy about that, be proud that this man is mine. But right now, all I can see is him sticking up for a woman who had her hands on his face, and has had his dick in her body. I see red.