This Regret (30 page)

“Thank you, Kellan,” she manages.
“I don’t know what else to say.”

Kellan turns to look at me, but doesn’t stop cleaning Jen’s face. “You know I would never let anyone hurt you, ever.” He looks angry as he shakes his head. “I could kill that son of a bitch.”

Jen’s hand reaches out and grabs Kellan’s shirt, causing him to turn back and look at Jen again. “I’ve got it, Kellan. Thank you for helping.”

Kellan looks at Jax, who is now calm and sleeping in his mom’s arms, before walking away from the truck and pulling me along with him. “I have Tyler on his way here. He’s bringing a new set of locks for the doors. That piece of shit is not getting back into this house.” He looks over at the truck as
if he’s trying to be sure Jen isn’t listening to what he’s about to say, then he turns back around. “I saw Nate over a week ago at that bar next to the shop. He was pushing some woman around and I had to step in and help her. He’s been doing this to others as well as Jen. I had no idea until today who he was.”

Of course.
That doesn’t surprise me one bit. I always knew there was something off about him.
That jerk
. I just don’t understand how Jen has dealt with all of this alone. “He’s an asshole. I’ve always hated him. I can’t even believe this happened. She’s denied it for years, although I always had my suspicions.” I shake my head. “I’ll let Jen know once she calms down.”
Great! More salt to rub on the wound.

“They always do,” he breathes. “Trust me. You just have to know the signs and help them. They won’t help themselves because they’re too blinded by love and by the image of who their loved ones used to be. I took care of him that night at the bar and made sure Maxine was safe.” He turns his eyes away and looks at the ground. He almost looks ashamed.

This makes me really nervous for some reason.
What does he mean by 'he made sure she was safe?'
Jealously courses through me at the thought of him comforting another woman. I feel so stupid right now. I should be worrying about Jen, not myself. So I smile and lean in to kiss his cheek. “Thank you. Thank you for coming as quickly as you did.”

He looks me in the eye and sucks in his bottom lip, cupping my face in his hands and pressing his forehead to mine. Him touching me makes my stomach fill up with butterflies. He looks as if he has something he wants to say, but instead he pulls away as Tyler pulls up on his motorcycle.

We both watch as Tyler quickly jumps off his bike and drops his helmet into the grass before running over to kellan. “What’s going on, bro? I got here as fast as I could.”

Kellan reaches out and grips Tyler’s shoulder. “Everything’s fine now. Did you bring the set of locks? I need you to do me a favor and help me change the locks on this house. We have an asshole situation to deal with and I need to make sure my friend and her son are safe.”

Tyler’s eyes go dark and suddenly he looks pissed. “Do I need to fuck someone up, man? You know how I feel about that shit.”

Jen finally steps out of the truck and her eyes land on Tyler. She looks a little shaken up, as he looks her up and down, then turns to face Kellan. “The situation is taken care of for now. If you want to help out in another way you can,” Kellan says.

I’m not really sure what that means, but I hope to find out. I want Jen to feel as safe as possible.

Tyler nods his head and then turns to face Jen. He walks over to her and Jax and stops right in front of her. Reaching for her hand, he takes it in his and looks her in the eye. “I’m here to help you in any way I can. I know you don’t know me, but I’ve seen enough women get hurt and it kills me. I’m going to change the locks on your door and if you don’t mind, I’d like to stay here for a while to be sure he doesn’t come back.” Jen just stares at him with a tear running down her face. She doesn’t know what to say or maybe, she’s just goi
ng to decline the offer. For her sake, I hope she doesn’t. “Is that okay with you?” He reaches out and places his hand on her chin, tilting her head up to look at him. “I promise it will be okay.”

She nods her head and starts sobbing. Tyler doesn’t hesitate with pulling her face into his chest and rubbing the back of her head. He may not know her, but somehow I get the feeling, he’ll care about anything his friend cares about. Tyler too, is a protector.

Kellan breaks my concentration, causing me to pull my eyes away from Jen and Tyler. “Go and take care of your friend and we’ll take care of everything else.”

I get ready to walk away but he grabs my arm to stop me. He just stands there looking in my eyes, but doesn’t say anything. I get lost in his stare until he speaks again. “Never mind. Just take care of Jen.” He smiles and I return his smile before walking away, and grabbing for Jen’s arm.

She follows beside me, but stops to look back at Tyler as him and Kellan watch us walking away.

We really have to find a way to thank those boys later. For now, I need to take care of my family.

Chapter Fifteen

Phoenix

Shortly after changing the locks, Kellan left, saying he had a client waiting on a tattoo he promised to get done by today. I could tell he didn’t want to leave and him walking out that door almost seemed like torture to him. He stood there hesitating for way too long, staring at me with this strange look in his eyes. Tyler gave him the nod and he finally left after telling him to take care of us girls and Jax.

A huge part of me wished he would’ve turned back around and kissed me again, but I knew that first kiss was only out of worry. Anyone else would’ve done the same if they were really worried about someone they cared about getting hurt. Although I know he cares about me, it hurts that it’s not in the same way I care about him. Sometimes though, a girl just needs to be kissed senseless. The cycle with us seems like it will never change. It will always be me chasing him and him running away. Sucks for me and tears me apart.

When I saw him walk through Jen’s door, I could’ve sworn that I’d died. My heart completely stopped and my breath caught in my throat, making me feel faint. Seeing him for the first time after sharing such an intimate moment with him did nothing but work me up and play with my emotions. Even with everything going on, my want for him heated me to the core and chilled me at the same time. That moment we shared on the roof was hot and even if he didn’t feel it, it had some passionate moments. Not just sex. It almost felt like more at times. He had to have felt it too. The way he looked into my eyes as he pushed deep inside me almost made me feel like he wanted what I did.
There I go again wishing for the impossible.

About an hour or so after Kellan left, I pulled Jen aside to be sure she felt comfortable being left alone with Tyler. She peeked over her shoulder at Tyler bouncing Jax on his knee and her eyes lit up. Now that I think about it, I never saw Nate do that kind of stuff with Jax and I think that alone was enough to show Jen how sweet and caring Tyler must be. She just leaned into the door frame and crossed her arms over her chest as she watched Jax laugh and play with Tyler. “Yeah,” she said. “We’ll be fine.” Seeing her happy made my heart melt. She has been dealt a shitty hand in life and never complains like most people would. She deserves a happy ending.

I was glad for Tyler's presence because I really had no choice but to leave. Dale called me in a panic needing me to cover the closing shift. I can’t complain, it’s my job as manager to cover all uncovered shifts. On the bright side, Saline is finally gone. As much as I shouldn't accuse without proof, if I had to guess, she was probably the reason I was finding money missing from the drawer over the last few months. I never trusted her, so to be honest, I’m glad she screwed up enough to get fired. If it weren’t for Tyler being so kind and offering to stay the night at Jen’s, I don’t know what I would have done. If Tyler is anything like Kellan, then I have no worries that he’ll keep her safe from Nate if he is stupid enough to come back tonight.

When I walk in the door of my apartment, Zoe is sitting on her knees, hunched over the coffee table. She looks really zoned in on whatever it is she’s doing. I look around but don’t see mom anywhere and to be honest, I’m kind of relieved. I walk over to stand behind Zoe. “You seem to be concentrating really hard.” I half smile, while trying to get a peek. “Are you drawing something?”

She looks up from the pad of paper and her eyes are red and puffy. She gives me a hard look, eying me up and down before turning her attention back to the paper and wiping at her face. “No, I’m not.” She tears off the top sheet of paper and wads it up in her hands before throwing it across the room at my waste basket like a basketball, missing the goal. “I’m trying to write a stupid poem and it’s making me mad. I can’t seem to do anything right. I don’t know why Kellan thinks this will help me.” She pauses to lean her head against the seat cushion, looking forlorn. “I don’t know. I mean . . . I guess it’s helping a little bit, but it’s still making me mad. Nothing sounds good. My life sucks. Why couldn't I get the smart gene like you or the artistic ability like Adric? I have nothing going for me.”

I set my keys down on the table before taking a seat on the couch, leaning close to her shoulder. Zoe has always been really hard on herself and I hate her thought process. It hurts to see her this way and sometimes I just don’t know what to say. “Zoe, there is nothing wrong with your life. You’re young, pretty, smart and determined. You have a lot of things going for you. A lot more than some girls out there. Trust me, things aren’t as bad as they seem.”
I think.

She laughs sarcastically as she pushes herself to her feet and grabs her notebook. “That’s a funny joke. Should I laugh now or later? You can stop trying to play the good mom, ya know. I'm old enough to handle the truth now. I am what I am and I've come to terms with it.” Closing the notebook, she tucks the pen behind her ear and rolls her eyes. “If I didn’t have a point, to prove something to someone, I wouldn’t even be trying to write this stupid poem. You
don’t need to feed me crap I will choke on. I’m almost fifteen. I may be young, but I’m not blind. I know I’m none of those things. I’m not like you, Phoenix and I don’t expect to ever be.”

“Excuse me. What do I have to do with anything? You don’t need to be like me. Everyone is different Zoe.” Since
when did this little girl get so damn dark inside?
Every day she gets a little angrier at the world and it scares me. “You must be blind if you can’t see all of those good things about yourself. You better get your head out of your ass before you end up making some stupid decision like . . . smoking for example. You need to quit that crap, Zoe. You can be anything you want to be if you would actually give a crap and try.”

“Whatever. Just leave me alone. I don't need some stupid lecture from you.” Taking a deep breath, she turns for the front door and stops right before walking outside. “Can I have your room tonight? Mom has it every night and I could use some privacy to concentrate. I’m sure mom will be up all night rambling and crying to herself anyways. I think she broke into grandma’s stash. She’s losing it and I’m going insane just by watching her lose it. I need my own room.”

That’s just what I need to hear. Mom drinking again is not a good idea. I still remember those nights of finding her on the floor next to the couch with puke all over her face. She thinks I was too young to remember at the time, but I wasn’t and no matter how hard she tried to convince me it was my imagination, I knew it wasn’t. I think I even remember Kellan and Adric carrying her upstairs late one night when my dad didn’t come home. It was not a pretty sight.

I huff at the thought. “Yeah, that’s fine. I have to work all night anyways so I won’t be back until after two sometime. Just let mom know when she wakes up that I’ll be gone all night and I said it was fine for you to take the room tonight.”

I watch her as she nods her head and opens the door. “Where are you going?”

“Just out with a few friends. I’ll be back in a few hours. I already told mom earlier and she was okay with it.”

“If you say so. Just stay out of trouble,” I mumble and she just rolls her eyes and walks out the door closing it behind her.

Leaning my head against the couch cushion, I look around the house and take in the mess. There are soda cans, candy wrappers and dishes sitting around my once spotless apartment. I hate a messy place. It drives me mad. It’s only been a few days and already this house looks like crap.

I stand up and start on the mess. Might as well before it gets too bad. Plus, it would help to keep my mind busy until I have to leave for work.

An hour later, I am out the door and headed to the
bar. I’m so deep in thought, I don’t even realize until I get there, that it’s Kade’s night to work. He gives me a hard look as soon as I walk through the door and I instantly regret coming in.

Just great…this ought to be fun.

Kellan

__________

When I got that call from Phoenix, I thought it was weird because she never calls, but when all I heard was screaming and yelling in the background I about lost my shit. I couldn't get out of this shop fast enough. Thoughts of someone possibly hurting her made my blood boil and had my adrenaline pumping like mad. There is no doubt in my mind that I wouldn't fuck someone's world up for laying a hand on that woman. Just the thought alone lights a fire in my chest. I dropped that tattoo gun down without a second thought, telling Tyler I had some shit to resolve. My client wasn't too happy, but I could have cared less at the moment. I never stop in the middle of an appointment, but with this, I had no choice.