This Is a Book (25 page)

 

The man who wins an argument with his barber, has won only the verbal portion of the argument.

 

 

What a cruel, ironic, little joke

Nature has played on man

By making the dumbest people the loudest ones

I’m talking to you, sports fan.

 

 

This is not my best epigram.

 

A Wish Granted:

If only I could be sold more things, more of the time by larger and larger corporations.

 

 

Relationships,

like eyebrows,

are better when there is

a space between them.

 

 

 

Nothing wise

Was ever printed

Upon an apron

 

 

T
HE
M
EDIA:
more content = more discontent.

 

 

A Question of Degree:

Is the man with

the beard of bees really any more

impressive than the one with

the mustache of bees?

 

 

 

On Fleeting Youth:

One moment,

an escape artist,

The next,

a man who needs help getting out of a chair.

 

 

 

I wish

This poem

Were longer.

 

 

There,

That’s better.

 

 

 

If these walls could talk,

what secrets they would share,

and how muffled those secrets would be

by all the wallpaper there.

 

What is a fairy tale, but a lie with a nice ending.

 

 

“It is better to kill someone with kindness.”

Indeed, it is.

May I suggest showering them with gifts, very heavy gifts.

 

 

 

The Liar and the Truth Teller:

I came to a fork in the road

where there was a liar and a truth teller

Luckily, I had a gun

So both quickly became truth tellers.

 

 

I was a tree hugger

once

during a storm.

 

 

Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.

 

 

Our Times, a Brief History:

As televisions became flatter,

People became rounder.