There Once Were Stars (10 page)

“I was twelve when he came to our dome as an Outsider,” Evan explains. “We’d seen Outsiders before and had been taking them in for a number of years. Sometimes people stayed, and some went back to their old domes. Others moved on to see what else was out there. Your uncle had been out in the wild on his own for almost a year when he showed up. My father took him in. Alec stayed and became one of us.”

“If he wanted to leave our dome so bad, why would he move into another?”

“Nat.” Evan steps toward me. “My people live outside the dome. We colonized years ago.” I stare at Evan in disbelief. The Uncle I used to nag and annoy, and had mourned along with my parents, was living comfortably in a colony all this time.

“Then why did he come back? And why did you come with him?”

“You need to understand,” Evan says cautiously, watching my facial expressions. My entire body is vibrating as I try to digest this information. “Your uncle couldn’t come back. Not after what he saw.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Everyone was murdered that night he left. When Alec returned in the morning, he found their bodies torn apart. Your government men were dragging the bodies away. Alec had no choice. He ran.”

“Who did it, then? Was it people you know? Your dome lives on the outside.”

“Nat,” Evan takes a deep breath, “relax. Our dome is a couple weeks away when travelling on foot from yours. There’s no way it was one of our people. We help others. We take stragglers in, people who don’t fit under their dome’s rules any longer. We didn’t even know about your dome until your uncle came to us.”

“Then how did you get my photo?” I stare into Evan’s eyes. They look tired from all of my questions.

“Your uncle told me to give it to you. He hoped it would show you I am a friend and he is alive.”

“How am I supposed to believe any of this?” I throw my hands up in the air. “No one around here tells any full-truths. Just a bunch of half-ones. Where did my uncle go, Evan? What happened when you were caught? I saw you; it was like you let them catch you.”

“I promised Alec I would get on the inside and find you. You have to understand, he couldn’t risk getting caught. I warned him not to go up to the glass, but-but he saw you, and couldn’t help himself. If it wasn’t for that—”

He stops mid-sentence, staring at me. The silence hangs heavy between us. I can’t bear it.

“What, Evan? Say it already.” My old feelings of guilt threaten to rise to the surface and explode. My entire life, I have been nothing but a burden. Now I find out I’m the reason things fell apart. “If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have been caught, right? It’s always my fault! It’s my fault Grandfather is down on B2. It’s my fault he’s being pressured for information.” I begin to cry. “How was I supposed to know?”

Evan grabs me by the wrists and pulls me up against his chest. His heart beats against my hand as I stretch out my fingers, touching his chest. “Listen, you silly girl,” Evan says firmly. “It’s not your fault I’m here—that was always the plan. We came here to get you out. Do you understand? Alec is like family to me. I am here for you.”

The reality of Evan’s words sinks in and I melt against him. Alec came to save me because my mother wanted me out of the dome. But she’s gone. Where would I go now? Why would I risk my life outside? I tilt my head up and look into his face. His dark eyes look down at me through thick lashes, and the smell of his cologne surrounds me. His lip twitches, as if he wants to tell me more, but instead his arms hold me tight. Those lips—I think about how they would feel against mine again and a shiver runs through me. Evan loosens his grip.

“Did I hurt you?” The concern in his eyes causes twinges in my chest.

“No,” I murmur. I bite my lower lip. I have one more question. “Why did they let you leave B2?”

“The same reason they brought you here. They want information from us.”

“Why didn’t you tell them about Alec? I mean, they already knew from the handprint.”

“They know he’s out there, but they still might try to pin the murders on him. That’s exactly what we want to avoid. He has questions—the biggest being, what killed your parents? If he gets caught, they’ll lock him up, or worse. The Order can’t let the people see he’s alive.”

“Everyone thinks the scientists were killed by radiation,” I explain. “The Order would have more explaining to do if he did show up.”

“That’s why we need to find answers, quick.”

I take a deep breath, dealing with information overload again. But this time I feel stronger. I have a purpose. I push back from Evan and he lets go.

“What are we are supposed to do?”

“Keep your enemies close. Keep your eyes open.”

I laugh. “Only weeks ago I was washing windows. This week I’m under suspicion of being a threat to the dome.”

“Power always fears what it can’t control, Greyes.”

He reaches over and moves a strand of hair from my face. His fingertips graze my skin, leaving behind a tingling sensation.

I feel safer now, knowing he is being used, just like me. At least I’m not alone anymore.

“What now?” I ask.

“I’m going to teach you how to defend yourself.”

We walk over to the table and Evan picks up a handgun. He points it at the target across from us and fires. Even with the roaring fan, the noise of the gunshot surprises me, making me jump.

“Ever held one of these?” He waves the pistol in the air and I shake my head. “Come over here. It’s your turn.”

The gun is heavier than it looks. I run my fingers across its smooth, cold exterior. Carefully, I lift the weapon and aim it at the target. When I pull the trigger, the handgun recoils so hard I almost drop it.

“Whoa.” Evan grabs the gun. “Let me help you.”

He puts the gun back in my hands and stands behind me, lifting my arms up with his hands. His warm body presses against mine and I find myself focusing more on his touch than the instructions he’s giving.

“Greyes, are you listening to me?” Evan laughs, his warm breath tickling my ear.

I squirm against him as I giggle. Who could pay attention? “What did you say?”

“I said hold it tight this time and brace yourself against the kickback.”

“Okay. Evan?”

“Yes, Greyes?”

“Call me Nat.”

After target practice, I return to the lab for a long afternoon sitting next to Waldorf, learning how to properly photograph and catalogue artifacts late into the evening. He even shows me his expedition scarf, a ratty, knitted one he claims to have worn on all expeditions. The next morning, he’s got it wrapped around his neck, ready to venture to the outside. I’m grateful to get out into the field, away from the monotony of the lab.

In the garage, the protection suits line the wall, facing the rear of the dome, toward the farmers’ fields. The electric trucks used to haul food back to the Axis for cleaning and distribution, sit ready, waiting for us to load our gear.

I don the shiny white suit, made of a soft material that squeaks as it pulls against my skin. I feel like I’ve strapped pillows to my body. How could the former Expedition team have gotten any work done in these getups? I can barely bend over, let alone work and collect samples.

Evan stands beside me, holding his suit up. “This is really ridiculous, you know.”

“Don’t forget your helmets,” Roe calls out. “What are you waiting for, Outsider?

Evan opens his mouth, I’m sure with a smart remark, but I turn to him and repeat his own words. “Go with the flow, remember? Look, even Waldorf is wearing one, scarf and all.”

“It’s absurd,” Evan says, almost falling over as he steps into the suit and tries to pull it up his legs. “Everyone saw me come in from outside. It’s no secret, the radiation is gone.”

“It’s better no one sees you,” I remind him. “They’ll have forgotten about you by now, or at least have been distracted by the telescreens, focused on some new reason to contribute to the dome.. In fact, last I heard you died from radiation poisoning.” I pull my helmet over my head and tap the top. “Better safe than sorry.”

“I don’t have to like it.” He sulks.

“I’ll let you sit by me in the truck.” I smile from behind my visor. He can’t see my cheeks redden from the other side. “Most people around here would be honored to sit by a Greyes.”

A smile replaces his frown. “You don’t fool me with that charming little front, Greyes.” Evan reaches out and pinches my side. I squeal in surprise. “I know the real you.”

“What’s that?” I step closer.

“If I had to sum it up in two words,” he pauses, tapping a finger on his chin, “I’d say feisty and defiant.” He throws his helmet on before I can see his face and jumps into the back of the truck. I climb up and sit beside him.

“His voice drops. “But if I had to be honest, I’d say independent and beautiful.”

My face explodes with heat from behind my visor. Beautiful? I’m sure he’s just trying to push my buttons, but it’s nice to know I have an ally. Someone I can trust. I need to have a goal to get me through every day. Evan is the best way to see my uncle again and confirm the truth of what happened to my parents.

The convoy starts up, engines rumbling in the old trucks as we make our way to the main gates. People gather along the side of the road to watch. This is the first time an expedition has left the dome in a long time.

I remember when my parents left on expeditions. People always lined up at the gates to watch the team leave. The trips were a sign of hope. A chance for freedom. I didn’t realize that back then. Do people have that same hope as they watch us leave? Are they really that unhappy here? Maybe Grandmother’s fear of the Order is right. It’s possible there’s a lot my generation doesn’t understand about how the dome has changed in the last decade.

Both sets of gates slide open, and suddenly we are free. I lean back and stare straight up at the sky. Everything out here is brighter, even though we’re shrouded by dark clouds above, the sun still breaks through, lighting up the world. I glance at Evan, who’s taken off his helmet. His eyes are closed as he holds his chin up high. He has lived outside the dome for most of his life. Being stuck inside ours the last few weeks must have felt like a prison, whether or not he was on B2 in the end.

“Take it off, Greyes.” Evan opens one eye. “I dare you.”

“Just a little farther, and we’ll be out of sight,” Roe yells from the driver’s seat.

I ignore him and wait for the all-clear. But he’s restless beside me, poking, and shifting, and distracting me from the scenery.

“Always such a good girl, aren’t you?” he teases.

I flip up my visor and flash him a grin. He closes his eye, and a smirk plays at the edge of his mouth.

After a few more minutes Roe yells from the front seat again. “How are the readings coming along, Cardinal?”

“It’s clear. I can’t believe it! Absolutely clear!”

“You heard her!” Roe yells. “All clear!”

Whoops and hollers come from all around me as I pry the helmet from my head, feeling the cool breeze on my face. I remember my favorite excerpt from my mother’s notebook:
One day I’m getting Nat outside of this place to somewhere she can breathe fresh air like humankind was meant to. The sun will shine on her face. The wind will blow in her hair.
I tilt my head back and take a deep breath, closing my eyes as my hair whips about my face.

“How does it feel?” Evan’s voice is close to my ear. I open my eyes and see he’s moved toward me, out of everyone’s view. He reaches up and moves a strand of hair from my eyes, sending shivers down the inside of my suit.

“Amazing,” I whisper. “I see why my mother loved it out here. I see why she liked to write about it.”

“Did she write more than one notebook?” Evan asks.

I shake my head. “I’m the only one who’ll ever remember her dreams. No one can take that from me.”

Evan reaches over and squeezes my hand, but doesn’t let go. I intertwine my fingers through his, and look up into his eyes. Butterflies are jumping in my stomach.

“Do you think it will be bad? The site, I mean. Do you think there will be anything left of the horror from that night they died?”

He shakes his head and squeezes my hand again. “It’s been almost a decade. If the Order didn’t wipe that place clean, I’m sure time and the elements have.”

I lean my head back again, letting the wind run free in my hair. But this time I can feel Evan’s touch, even with the suits between us.

We travel another twenty minutes before Roe stops. There’s nothing here but a small hole carved from the edge of the foothills. No blood. No horror. Just rocks and dirt. What did I expect? Maybe I am a foolish kid.

Roe climbs out of the truck to address us all. “This is our first expedition. You’ll notice that we didn’t bring much for supplies, just our basic work tools. I want us to catalogue everything we find and take photos. This is a trial run, only. If all is successful, our next expedition will be a full day. Everyone understand?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Evan climbs out of the truck in front of me. “You okay?” he asks as he grabs my hands and helps me down.

“Kind of silly to think there’d be something left behind. It’s really a wasteland, isn’t it?”

“No.” He’s still holding onto my hands. “It’s not silly at all. Why wouldn’t you be curious?”

I look up into Evan’s eyes. Maybe he doesn’t think I’m so childish after all. He shifts uncomfortably in his protection suit and I smile. It’s nice to see him out of sorts for once. His confidence is sometimes stifling.

Unlike the sandy ground surrounding the dome, the ground here is a darker soil. I push my foot into the dirt and kick some of it up. It’s dry and brittle. But there still isn’t any sign of life.

“These areas would have once been farmlands,” Evan explains. “You can tell by how far the site is from the dome. All the domes were small cities before they were covered. They installed the Axis tower at the same time the dome was erected, and then reinforced most of the buildings inside to withstand time, until people could be moved to the outside again.”

“Evan, Greyes,” Roe looks at us with the same irritation I’m used to from Grandmother, “go make yourselves useful, would you? This isn’t a date. Walk the perimeter and if you see anything, do not approach it. Got it? Report back here instantly if there’s a problem.”