Theirs to Play (12 page)

If this is all real, I could fall in love with him.

That thought scared the crap out of me.

But, I couldn’t deny that it felt good to be attended to after three years of no dating or real intimacy with a man. At times my date with Freddy was out and out bizarre. He behaved like the perfect gentleman—opening the car door, pulling out my chair, spoiling me with little gifts throughout the evening like an autobiography book signed to me by Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayer, the first Hispanic woman to sit on the highest court. I had no idea how he guessed she would be my idol, but he’d done well with that one.

And we kissed for all of those hours that we spent together. Lots of lovely sweet nibbles of each other’s mouth. My lips were swollen and bruised by the time we got to the front of my apartment. His hands explored. His earthy scent drove me mad, and his tongue knew my mouth better than me. I couldn’t take anymore from him. If I did, he’d be inside of me before I could forget that I had to be cautious. Somehow he was needling his way into my heart, breaking down the barrier that I’d so carefully placed around me. Unease hit me each time I forgot that he was the same asshole that had broken so many hearts in the past.

Why would I be any different? Surely, I’m not anymore special than any of the other women.

All night, I repeated those thoughts and stacked that barrier of bricks back around me. But then he would make me laugh or trap my body into a very sensual dance with his fingers and lips, and I would forget whatever I’d been trying to remember. Everything would be lost to me. My wall around my heart would crumble and my breathing transformed into needy panting. If he’d changed as much as he claimed, then he’d have my heart before I knew it was gone.

That very fact shook me with fear.

Chapter 8

~Frederick

I
made it down
to the yacht’s lower deck and entered my bedroom.

Max was big on decorating his spaces. He loved to hang up his favorite paintings or whatever grabbed his eye. He loved to collect things wherever we traveled to, and display them wherever he laid down for the night. I was different. I enjoyed a simple elegance, clean walls with nothing on them. Sparse furniture that included the finest pieces, but not too much to overload the eye.

A black king sized bed sat in the center. Vanilla colored the walls and the carpet. There was a black dresser and small end table on the side. Next to the window where I loved to sit and stare out at the sea, rested my favorite hot red leather chair. It was the most expensive item in the room. The complete focus. The thing was huge and comfortable with white threaded lines that formed into a sort of design at the top.

With mounting dread, I stumbled over to my favorite chair. As tired as I was, I would probably just fall asleep in it. My phone rang. I knew without looking that it was Max.

I ignored it.

Not now, brother. I just want to think about her.

I wished I could’ve said that all those hours with Dawn went as planned, but they didn’t. In my chair, I sniffed my hands like a mad man, inhaling that rosy perfume and thinking about the whimpers that escaped from those full lips when I touched her.

Damn it. Why couldn’t she just come back with me today? This is insane.

She was unlike any other women I’d ever met. And that was saying a hell of a lot. I’d met many in my travels all over the globe. I’d seduced them all and by now moved on to the next.

But not you, Dawn. Not yet. What the hell did I have to do to get her to see that I’d changed? What? She still doesn’t trust me.

I smelled my fingers again, promising myself that it would be the last time. It had to be. One didn’t sit around sniffing a female’s scent and still be sane. After a while that guy would have to admit that the woman’s fragrance he was hot over, had to be the one that would eventually cage him.

I don’t get caged. I do the trapping.

A knock came at the door. I kicked off my shoes. “Come in, Max.”

He opened and walked through it, wearing a towel around his neck along with gym shorts and a shirt. “How was it?”

“Fine.”

“That’s it?” Max wiped the sweat away off of his forehead. “Any sex?”

“No, man.” I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

“Did she believe you?”

Guilt sank inside of me. Right here was the moment when I could turn it all around. Change everything. The thought that I should stop Max and my game scared me more than I could ever admit. If this woman got me to the point where I no longer wanted to play, then what else could she do to me? She would own, hurt, or break me herself. I’d seen what broken hearts looked like. Watched despair glaze over many a woman’s face after I left them. I couldn’t experience that, especially not from Dawn.

No. I’ll win and get out of Miami before things get to be too much.

“She thinks the game is over,” I admitted.

Max nodded. “Good. I think this way is better. I can’t believe I told her the truth. We can’t ever do that again.”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you keep smelling your hand like that?”

I opened my eyes and froze. My fingers rested right under my nose.

When had I moved my hand? How long had I been sniffing like that?

“I’ll go over to her in an hour or so.” Max turned to leave.

I didn’t like him going to Dawn and even more I hated the annoyance that hit me at the thought of him even seeing her. “She’s going to sleep. We’ve been out all night. You probably should wait until tomorrow. Let her rest.”

“No way. As far as I’m concerned, if she’s in bed then she already did half of the work for me.”

Dear God, he’s a barbarian.

“I’ll offer to cuddle with her.” He laughed.

I didn’t.

He continued, “I can’t wait to spread her—”

My caveman brother didn’t end the sentence. Maybe it was the way I jumped to my feet and frowned. Perhaps, it was the scowl that had to have decorated my face, but my brother widened his eyes and stepped back a few feet.

“Let her rest,” I said through clenched teeth. “Give her a break.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Don’t be stupid. I’m not trying to argue with you. I’m just helping you out. Give her a day to relax.”

“Nope. I think I have my plan down.” He headed away. “I’ll have the plane this evening. I got Rodriguez to bring it over to Miami. We’ll be gone for a few days, but I’ll let you get two days.”

Rage so much rage. It bubbled in me as I followed him down the hall to his room. “Two days? Where are you going with her?”

“Why? You never care where I take the others?”

“She’s not the others.”

“No?” He glanced over his shoulder before he opened the door. “What is she then?”

I avoided the question. “Where are you taking her? I’d rather you not go off for two days with Dawn. I mean what the—”

“You’re acting weird, Bro.” He opened the door and entered.

His place was an explosion of color and no sense of style. Autographed Michael Jordan posters and other athletes he adored hung on one side of the wall. A massive photo of Tiger Woods and a blushing him sat above his bed. Scattered canvases in no particular style or order decorated every other wall.

He’d never decided on the carpet he wanted for his room so he just picked the top four samples. On the north side lay black and white polka dot. On the west, lime green stars surrounded by white. On the east section, a silver rug and right where I stood on the south part of his space was a Native American design done in earth colors.

It helped that he didn’t bring women in here because the place remained a mess. Shoes sprawled all over the place. Clothes were slung around. A discarded plate of food sat on the end table. Even though our maids cleaned our areas daily, he somehow managed to return his space to a pigsty by the evening.

“Did you hear what I said?” Max asked.

“No. What?”

“You’re acting weird.”

“I’m just asking you where you’ll be taking her. It’s no big deal.”

He rubbed the surface of his watch. That made me nervous. His little anxious tick meant that he was worried about something, or at the bare minimum agitated.

“Let me borrow some money,” he said.

“How much?”

“Hundred thousand.”

“Why?”

“I need it for my date with Dawn.”

“Where are you taking her?”

“I’ll tell you after you write the check.”

I blew out a long breath, left his room, and went back to mine. If money was what he needed to keep me in the know, then a check was exactly what he would get. He couldn’t do anything with Dawn without my being aware of all his plans. I couldn’t let him win.

Is that the only thing I’m worried about? Yes. Just the win, nothing else.

I couldn’t bring myself to evaluate that question too much, so I shook it out of my head. This wasn’t about anything more than the game. Dawn represented all the others. She was nothing special, nothing to be concerned over. In fact, I decided I wouldn’t even ask about this date. I would just give Max the money, take a shower, and go off to sleep.

Who cares what they do? Not me. Fuck it. Not ever. Let him have fun.

It was after that thought that I realized my hands was back under my nose. I sniffed and drowned in her all over again, as if she was right in front of me.

Maybe, it is a good idea to know what they’re doing for my own strategy. Nothing else.

My phone rang, once I arrived in my room. I wasn’t even going to pick it up until I spied the name flashing across the screen.

Dawn.

My heartbeats increased while my stomach twisted in knots. Anticipation at hearing her voice hit me hard, so bad I sat down before pressing the talk button. I needed to be off my feet when dealing with her. She could catch me in a lie just like that. It had already been difficult with her through the whole date.

I placed the phone next to my ear. “I told you to come home with me. Now you’re going crazy over there without me.”

“Are you done spouting nonsense?” She giggled.

“No. One more thing.”

She did a big show of sighing. “Go ahead, Mr. Ego.”

“Have you touched yourself with me in mind yet?”

She waited for several seconds. With each little instance of time, my cock slowly began to spring to life.

“I may have thought of you a few minutes ago while I lay in bed,” she admitted.

I got up, hurried, and shut the door. “Go ahead.”

“That’s it.”

“No. It’s not.”

“Trust me. There’s nothing else to report.”

“Oh no. We need to really analyze this. Did you put your hands inside of your panties?” I still stood by the door, but had leaned back against it.

“I don’t wear panties when I go to sleep.”

Damn you, Dawn. I should be over there right now.

“When can we schedule a slumber party?” I asked.

“That will take some time.”

“When you can trust me?”

“Yes.”

Guilt hit my heart. I tried to push it away. It wouldn’t leave. Blame crashed into my chest next. And then the fucked up part of the situation I’d created came barreling down on me.

What the hell am I doing? Why mess this up? But what would I be messing up? What the hell was I ready to do with Dawn? Certainly not a relationship.

“I must’ve woken you up. You’re so quiet. I’m so sorry,” she said.

“No. I just have something on my mind.”

“What is it? Do you need someone to listen? You know I’m always here.”

Was she? Why? What did she get out of it? Why the hell would she care when she barely knew me?

“No, I’m fine. I’ve got it handled,” I replied.

“Well, I’ll be quick, either way.”

“I don’t want you to. I’d rather you take your time.”

She giggled. It was such a welcoming sound in my life. Her joy embraced me like a soothing hug. I yearned to be around her now, witnessing the satisfaction on her face.

“Anyway, I just wanted to apologize for earlier tonight,” she said.

“What? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I’ve been rude to you, especially at the beginning of our date. I just had it in my mind that you would never change, no matter how much you said you were trying. I’ve been thinking about it since we’ve been separated and I decided that I’m just going to do it.”

I braced myself against the door, not really sure where this was going. “Do what?”

“I’m going to try and trust you.”

I swallowed down regret. “You’re going to trust me from now on?”

“Yes. I let my ex-boyfriend get the best of my life for these past years. I’ve kind of built this wall up, blocking me from all men, especially guys that reminded me of him.”

“I remind you of him?”

“You did. You both have that expensive lifestyle, that sort of one that feeds into a big ego and this sort of holier than thou sort of attitude. But that’s him, not you.”

My mouth went dry. My heart turned to this black mass of evil. I’d felt this way before in those instances where a female cried in front of me, due to my telling her that I wouldn’t see her anymore. It was easy to brush that sensation away in those moments. But this time, while I sat on the phone with Dawn, I couldn’t just move the cruelty of my life aside. And then it finally hit me.

I can’t pretend that I’m still clean and pure around her. She won’t buy it. That’s what Dawn does to me. She makes me have to be who I really am.

“So,” she said interrupting my thoughts. “Although I don’t a hundred percent think that you’ve changed, I have committed myself to at least giving you the benefit of the doubt, slowly trusting you more, and. . .only insulting you fifty percent of the time.”

Do I really want to gain her trust to only throw it all away? Why do I fucking care so much?

“Did you hear me, Freddy?”

At the sound of her saying my name, a shiver of pleasure ran through me.

She’s fucking tamed me. Here I am miles away from her, on a boat for godsake. As soon as she says my name, I have an erection.