The Wrong Sister (15 page)

“Yes, well, now you see why I spent nearly a month straight just crying.”

“I don’t want to cry. I want to hit something. In ways I’ve never felt the need to before. Good news is: I’m keeping my house for now. All ready and waiting for her to come home to. And the sad part is: she’ll never have a clue what I had to go through to keep it for her. Or what I’m losing.”

“Your parents are good people.”

“They are. First, they got to take care of their adult son, Tony. Now they get me.”

“No. Not like Tony. You didn’t bring this on yourself.”

“Well, no shit, but neither did Tony.”

She sent him a scowl. “I meant, Tony wasn’t trying to get better. You will. You’re just, having a rough patch. I really think it’ll all get better.”

He let out a laugh that sounded like a bitter snarl. “Like your situation? Is that going to get better?”

She tucked her legs under her and hunkered down on the stool. “Now you’re just dragging me into your pity-party.”

He slid the glass to her. She frowned. “Somehow, when your sister is in rehab for drowning her problems in liquor, I don’t think it’s a good idea to drown mine.”

“There again. You are not your sister. Drink it.”

She turned the glass so her lips didn’t touch where his were. That would be… a little too close for comfort.

The fiery liquid made her shudder and cringe as it went down. She choked and hacked on the sharp taste. “I’m not much for hard alcohol.”

“Yet another reason why I like you.”

Her mouth tilted up in a half smile. “You mean, it’s not just my sparkling personality?”

He still didn’t smile, but his gaze held hers. “Yes. On top of your sparkling personality.”

Why didn’t his tone sound even remotely like he was kidding? Why was he staring at her like that? It was as if some kind of drape was finally removed and he was clearly seeing her for the first time ever. She didn’t like it. She was dumpy and rumpled, and ready for bed. His intensity was way too much for ten-thirty at night. She cleared her throat. “I’m really glad you won’t lose your house, whatever the solution involves.”

“I know. I am too. Don’t get me wrong. I owe my parents. It just became clear to me tonight how far down the toilet my life has been flushed.”

“At least, you have Julia. You’re doing all this for her, not Vickie. If it helps ease the bitterness of doing the right thing, remember: you’re doing it for her.”

“’Cause I’m such a great dad.” His sarcasm was thick.

She regarded him strangely with her eyebrows wrinkled. “Don’t you know that you are?”

“Frankly? I feel like a fish floundering on the shore at all times. No. I’m not very good at it.”

“Donny, you’re a wonderful father. You don’t know that? You have been since the day she was born. It’s Vickie I always frowned at. Not you. Honest. I wouldn’t sugar coat that. Not about Julia.”

He nudged her shoulder. “Thank you. Coming from you? High regards. At least, you’ll be free of her. My mom’s taking over now.”

“Oh.” Her disappointment was deep and sharp. “I guess that makes sense.”

“I know. I’m sorry I had to bother you for so long. It made me feel really shitty to be contributing to your ongoing shit.”

Julia… not here tomorrow?
What would she do all day? Sure, maybe she didn’t always want to deal with the toddler, but not to come here at all? Who would sing her favorite song to her? The one she loved before nap time when she was all sleepy and curled up on Tracy’s chest, waiting for a story? There were so many small details that Tracy knew about Julia, but they were too numerous to even begin to share with another. She had intimate knowledge of Julia’s care, stuff that only a daily caregiver can obtain. Sure, Leila was a wonderful grandmother and all that, but she hadn’t been around Julia much lately, not with their long, extended vacation. Besides, Julia had been through a lot of changes recently. Switching her routine now seemed the least positive thing to do. And… if Julia weren’t there, what exactly would Tracy do all day?

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“What isn’t? My mom? She’s amazing with kids. Unlike yours, she does the heavy lifting and all the fun stuff.”

“Wow. You have some anger issues with my family. But I meant that Julia is more used to me right now. I don’t think changing that right now is a good thing.”

He shrugged. “My daughter is screwed, no matter what. Her mother is an alcoholic. And can’t be trusted with her. I already screwed up her life before she was born. Besides, you want your life back.”

“I-I don’t actually. I mean, I thought I did. But I really don’t want you moving her. Not yet. She deserves at least some kind of gradual transition. Maybe one day a week at your mom’s for awhile, then two, and then three… I just think she deserves some adjustment and transition. She’s been through so much of late. She relies on me.” Seeing a small smirk in Donny’s cheek, “What?” she huffed.

“You like my daughter.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course, I like your daughter. She’s my niece.”

“You like being with her.”

“Okay. I like being with her. So?”

“So, it sounds like a plan. Besides, I would miss seeing you.”

She knocked into his shoulder with her own. “I would miss you too. You’re a good brother-in-law. I just didn’t realize it until recently.”

“Yeah. Great
brother-in-law,
” he muttered as he raised his glass as if toasting her. She had no idea what to make of the gesture, or his strange, startling, very unusual mood.

“What are you doing this weekend?”

She shrugged. “Usual. Games. Laundry. Homework. Cleaning…”

“When is the last time you did something not connected to one of our children?”

“Like what? Mountain climbing?”

“No, like a movie? Dinner? Don’t you go out with friends?”

“I do. I don’t really want to see them. They invariably talk about Micah. And I really don’t want to.”

“Yeah, I get that. So, Micah is my least favorite subject in the entire world. Why don’t you go out to dinner with me?”

She glanced up, her shock widening her eyes. Heat filled her cheeks. “Uh? What? Me and you?”

“For dinner. A movie? I could use a freaking night out too. What do you say? Want to come?”

She sighed and nodded her head. Time out with an adult who didn’t want to talk and gossip and sympathize about Micah or her children? Yeah, she could do that. She hadn’t really been anywhere since all this started beyond a kids’ event or another. She really never expected her big night out to be with her brother-in-law. The one she used to never think two minutes about. But now? She had a strange flutter of nerves in her stomach. Should she go? Was it appropriate? Why not? It meant nothing. They were family. They helped each other. So why not?

TRACY OPENED THE DOOR to Donny dozens of times during the last few weeks, but tonight, it felt completely different. The house behind her was completely silent. The usual shouts and clattering of kids weren’t present. He wasn’t holding his daughter and all her things in his over-stuffed arms. He stood there, looking like a completely new man. He wore dark jeans, a white, casual shirt and holy hell, if her heart didn’t bleep
weird.
It was so odd. She shook her head to try and dispel the strange feeling as she opened the door wider to allow him inside. He stepped into her entryway, his hands stuffed into his pockets… and just stood there.

Okay, it was totally awkward. He spent the last ten weeks, going in and out as much as he pleased, and talking, carrying things, hanging with her daughters or collecting his own. He talked to her all the time. Yet now, he stood there, completely silent, off to the side, his hands relegated to his pockets. She felt his gaze traveling over her and cleared her throat. His eyes popped up to hers.

“So… seems a little weird without the kids around,” she finally said.

He nodded in agreement, then asked, “Did you mention to Gayle and Jay where you are going?”

“No. Just said that the girls wanted to stay the night. What did Leila say?”

“No, the same, I didn’t really say where I was going, either.”

They regarded each other more intensely.
Why?
The question was like a fat brick sitting between them. Why didn’t either of them tell their parents where they were going tonight? It’s not like it was a secret, or had any sort of significance. It was
Donny,
for God’s sake. Why did Tracy even hesitate about admitting it? The silence grew thicker as more heat filled her cheeks. No doubt, her freckles were now highlighted by the pink skin she so hated. White or pink were her only two shades.

She cleared her throat. “So, shall we go?”

He nodded and indicated that she go first. She hesitated, but finally took a step. Since when did they use such formal manners with each other? They didn’t. He didn’t open doors for her, or let her go first. Whoever was first went first. Tonight, they were both behaving way too self-consciously and she hated it. He was the one and only person she could just be normal with. There were no expectations. She didn’t bother fluffing her hair, or trying to pretend she was better than what she really was.

They went to dinner at a little French cuisine bistro in downtown Calliston. She scanned the crowd to see if she recognized anyone. That was silly. So what if she did? It’s not like she was doing anything
wrong
. And this was not a date. She was with Donny, for goodness sake. She was on a platonic, easy night out with a man in the same kind of situation as she.

It’s just Donny. It’s just Donny. It’s just Donny.
She kept chanting as she sat down in the two-person booth, smoothing her coat first. She felt compelled to remind herself, just in case, for whatever reason, she managed to forget that. It was even more uncomfortable when the server poured water and handed them menus. They both scanned the brown, leather-bound menus for several minutes. Finally, Tracy set hers aside after Donny did.

“What are you getting?” they asked in unison.

They stared at each other with surprise for uttering the same innocuous sentence. Finally, a grin spread over his face, and Tracy soon followed suit. He laughed out loud and said, “God, we’re not on a date. I don’t care what you’re eating. So never mind I asked.”

She tilted her head back and laughed outright, which felt good. Really, really good, in fact. It was normal to laugh and be rude and natural, which was how they’d been for weeks now. Several months, actually.

“Oh thank God. I don’t care. Not at all. And I don’t want to share it with you, either.”

“Done. No sharing. No talking about our food. No polite inquiries into how our meals are. They are great as we are out and away from kids, right? The whole point to this.”

She nodded vigorously. “Exactly the point of this. The only point.”

They ate their dinners, discussing everything, but their spouses, kids or shared family. Neither one asked how the other’s meal was, or offered to share theirs. They finally settled back into the groove of easy give-and-take that they were learning to engage in for the last few weeks.

****

The movie they chose was a thriller/suspense that had Tracy nearly shrieking out loud a few times. When he felt her muscles tensing up, Donny glanced down at her, chuckling softly, and leaned over to whisper in her ear, “I had no idea you got so into movies. Breathe. It isn’t real.”

“Are you made of concrete? How can you not react to this movie? It’s so powerful?”

“Powerful?” His eyebrows rose. “You are such a dork. It’s only a movie.”

She hit him in the shoulder. “It’s an amazing movie, and I am not a dork,” she hissed. They got a dirty look from the old guy in front of them, and that simply resulted in making them both snicker out loud like they were Ally’s age.

He finally put a finger to her lips in sign of “Shh.” She nodded and rolled her eyes while sticking out her tongue at the back of the nagging viewer in front of them. All it did was make Donny laugh out loud again, causing the man to turn around again with a scowl and glare. Donny put his hands up as if claiming innocence.

Tracy was… fun. Really, really fun to hang out with. How did he never notice that before? She was interesting and caught onto humor quickly. She was the type he could easily form inside jokes with because her mind seemed to go where his own did. Their conversation was easy and endless. It was how he imagined it should have been with his spouse of only two years. He and Vickie never really had very long conversations. They didn’t laugh at the same things either. They never bantered in conversation. Not like he did with Tracy.

He rubbed a hand to his head. It was okay to be friends with his wife’s sister, wasn’t it?

The movie ran on, but Donny was more preoccupied by their shared arm rest. He kept prodding himself to stare at the big movie screen. There was nothing to even contemplate. But her elbow took up only her half of the armrest. She politely kept her own hands in her lap so he too could rest his elbow there. Several times, their elbows bumped as one or the other moved about. Vickie would have never let him put his arm there. She always hogged the whole thing.

Then again, Vickie had once slunk down on her knees and did things with her mouth to him in the movie theatre that were not only illegal, but X-rated. And he was miffed that Vickie didn’t share the armrest with him? How lame could he get?

However, Donny thought it was a nice gesture for Tracy to share the armrest.

He nearly blushed when he thought about Vickie and him in the back of this very theatre a year ago. Out on a date. It was one of their first in a long while and away from baby Julia. Vickie so easily slunk down, he nearly started freaking out at her when her hand, which had been on his lap, was quickly followed by her head. He decided to keep his objections at the inappropriateness of it to himself. Of course, he didn’t much remember the rest of the movie. How they didn’t get caught also remained a mystery to him. Perhaps, because it was a late showing, and had fewer people in the audience. As he now glanced at Tracy beside him, he thought,
No way she’d do such a thing… to Micah. No way she and Micah would ever do that.

Still, he couldn’t help noticing the tension of her arm muscles, and the way her hair rustled on her shoulder when she moved. She was fidgety. Far more than Vickie ever was. Vickie sprawled out and stayed planted in a chair. Tracy crossed her legs, then uncrossed them, then sat with them crossed underneath her, with no feet on the floor, then tried it flat-footed. She did the cross-legged thing a lot. It was something he never noticed any other adult doing, so it was kinda cute.

She looked different tonight. Was it the makeup, combed hair, and a cute outfit? She wore jeans and tank top with a kind of sheer blouse over it.

“Do you want some?”

He jerked out of his reverie at her whispered voice. She was leaning over the armrest so her hair draped over his bare forearm. It was soft, giving his skin goose bumps. Stupid. What a stupid reaction to a casual encounter. Jesus. What was wrong with him? A few weeks alone, and he was worse than a horny teen out on a sure date.

Except this was not a sure date. And he was not a horny teen.

He was a married grownup who seemed to be screwing his life up a lot of late. The last thing he needed to add to it was acting weird toward his sister-in-law.

“What?”

“Do you want some popcorn? I’m going to get some.”

“Uh, no. I’m fine.”

She rose and sidestepped in front of him. He moved his legs to the side, turning so she could pass, and leveling his head so that he was staring right at her ass. It was small, rounded and nice. Really nice. Who knew Tracy had such a nice ass?

He immediately turned his head forward and mentally bitch-slapped himself. She. Was. His. Sister-in-law. End of story.

She came back with her popcorn. Ten minutes later, it started to smell good. He eyed it a few times before she finally shoved it at him. “Here, have some.”

He smiled gratefully and took a handful. From then on, they shared the bucket of popcorn and he sat back, feeling really content for the first time in a long while. No anger. No anxiety. No sense of failure. No worry. He was just there, in a darkened theater beside his friend, Tracy. She still retained a calming aura despite all she suffered.

He drove her home afterwards. It was only ten o’clock, and he cringed. A few years ago, a ten o’clock date would have been a bust date for him. He was never a great player or womanizer, but always dated and did very well with the women.

Again, this was not a date.

Her house was black when he pulled in. “Forget your front lights?”

“Yeah. I never have been good about remembering them. Micah always did. I think they’re supposed to be set on automatic, but I can’t remember how to do it.” She opened the door. He put his car into park and followed her without a word. Reaching the front door, she dug around for her keys. Suddenly, it was weird again. They were on her front stoop, alone, hidden in the shadows of darkness. The neighbors were a good enough distance away that no one could directly see them.

And it was the end of their dinner and a movie.

“Got it.” She grinned as she held up her keys. Had she always been so adorable? Personable? Charming? Cute? How had he never noticed it before now? She had her key ring dangling off her finger as if she just accomplished something of real worth. Her grin was wide, showing her front teeth, and crinkling her eyes. She had pretty, gray eyes. They were pale, and contrasted very nicely with the red in her hair.

He shook his head with a scowl to cover his sudden unease at noticing her pretty, gray eyes. He took the keys and quickly unlocked the door. “You need to turn the lights on and use your alarm. What else is all of that for?”

“I know,” she said behind him. “I was never too good about doing it.”

Micah was
. He knew. His teeth nearly gnashed waiting for her to say his damn name again. Lousy prick. Leaving Tracy alone. Losing Donny’s money. Devastating all the people who cared about him.

He held the door open and she passed him. She stopped just as she was over the threshold.

“Tha—”

She started to speak, but stopped when their eyes met in the gloom of the entryway. She hadn’t clicked the lights on yet. Or hustled back into reality. They were a foot apart. She was short. Inches lower than him. He wasn’t used to it. The top of Vickie’s head reached his mouth.

One moment, she was ready to thank him, and the next, he was leaning down towards her. Her eyes grew large, and he expected her to step back. Or step away. Or slap him. Instead, she only swayed a little towards him, not away from him.

His hand came to her waist and he pulled her against him. She had a small waist. It made a perfect gripping spot for his hands. She was thin, but not like Vickie, who was skinny. She had curves and flesh over her hip bones. She felt soft to touch. He lowered his face until his lips touched hers. Her lips were soft and warm. He’d never noticed how much so until now. His fit hers like two puzzle pieces. She put her hands on his chest. He wasn’t sure if she intended to push him away or hold onto him. Whatever, she left her hands there and he pulled her tighter against him, trapping her hands between them. Her head tilted back and her lips touched his with more force, and more insistence. He stepped forward so his leg was between hers and pinned her against the door jamb. She groaned and opened her mouth more. When she touched her tongue on his, he was shocked. Perhaps, it was even more shocking than the move he just made on her. Her tongue was soft, hesitant, and then fully in his mouth. Minutes passed. Their lips pressed tightly, tongues tasting and exploring, and he felt her breath hitching as her heart rate increased.

She was nothing like what he expected. Not that he ever before contemplated what Tracy might be like. Pliant, yet forceful, she was passionate, and shy. She was small, and so soft to touch. He could feel the lumps of her breasts against his chest. They felt so good. He wanted to slide his hand up to them. They were bigger than he’d felt in a while. Lush breasts. Lush woman. So small and tiny against him, she was a contrast, and in more ways than he’d only recently begun to learn.