The Way Back (14 page)

“You’re reaching because you can’t accept who I am.”

“You’re hiding something you don’t want the world to know.”

“Oh, it’s the world, is it? And what are you going to do, Gabby? Hunt down the truth, expose my secrets and write a tell-all biography? Will that make you feel better about your life? Like you’re not quite the failure you think you are?”

That hurt. He’d done it deliberately and no doubt to push her off her course. She wasn’t going to let herself be swayed though. She knew she was on to something.

“Why can’t you tell me the truth? What are you afraid of?”

“Gabby, the truth is I’m not a perfect man. The truth is I made mistakes. The truth is if you want to stick around for a while, we can probably have a good time for a couple of weeks. But that’s all I’m good for when it comes to relationships.”

That hurt worse. The thought of leaving him. That she could be this happy but only for a few weeks didn’t seem fair.

“Is that what you want?” She had a hard time asking the question. “A couple of weeks of sex and good times and that’s it?”

He ran his hand through his short hair and paced like a man on the defensive. “No,” he snapped. “No, I think— Damn it— I think I might want something more. But I know what it means. It means forgiveness and acceptance and I don’t know if you have it in you.”

“You want me to forgive and accept something I know you didn’t do.”

He shook his head and she knew he was done arguing. “Do you still want some food or something?”

“No.” She didn’t want to waste another minute standing here when the truth was something she needed to learn. She would call Melissa and tell her what her thoughts were. She was going to need a little leeway and maybe a bigger expense budget to handle airfare, but she was on to something big.

“Then I guess we’re done.” He bent to pick up the oversize top and bottoms along with her underwear. “You should leave.”

“Leave. You make it sound so final.” Which made her hands shake and made stepping into her panties much more challenging.

“It has to be. I can’t do this, Gabby. I can’t have a fling with you and call it a nice time. What happened here was…intense. So let’s end it. Now. Before anyone gets hurt.”

Yeah. As if having him for the brief time she’d had then walking away wasn’t going to hurt. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. Maybe it’s because no one before ever did what I’m about to do. Maybe you don’t believe anyone can. I’m standing here telling you I believe in you.”

He stepped toward her as she finished putting on the sweatshirt. He cupped her face and when she had the courage to look into his bronze eyes she could see sadness and defeat.

She knew he wanted to say something. When he opened his mouth no words came out. Instead he kissed her on the forehead. “I’ll walk you out.”

Numb she paddled barefoot down the stairs, out the door and got into the rental car she’d parked in his driveway before they’d gone for their run.

It was as though she’d been hypnotized because she didn’t struggle. Didn’t say a word as he opened the door and waited for her to get inside. But once the door was closed he motioned to her to roll the window down.

She hit the button and the electronic buzz of the window sliding down echoed in the car, because she still couldn’t say anything.

Leaning in he rocked a few times on his heels. “I’m sorry this couldn’t work out.”

“I don’t know what’s happening.” It was the truth. She’d made this great discovery in realizing he was innocent of whatever scandal people thought he committed. They had made love and everything was going to be great, because she didn’t have to worry he would break her heart by cheating on her.

Except he was breaking her heart anyway by making her go.

“You need to go back to New York or wherever your life is going to take you. And you need to forget this. Forget me.”

So
not going to happen.

“Remember this though, Gabriella. You’re no damn failure.”

She looked at him then. “I’m failing at this.”

“No. No, you’re not. I failed you first.”

Pushing away from the car, he turned and walked to his house. She watched him until she couldn’t see him anymore and then she continued to sit there. For how long, she couldn’t say.

The sun set and darkness started to fall and she wondered if she was going to spend another night in her car simply because she found herself immobilized. Not able to go back inside and fight him, not able to leave him, either.

She still didn’t understand what happened. Why weren’t they celebrating? Why wasn’t he telling her the truth about what happened that day?

Finally she thought of the ferry, the one that would take her off the island, the one that would lead her to the people who would tell her the truth if Jamie wasn’t going to do it. She knew if she hurried, she might catch the last one for the night.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“T
ELL
ME
AGAIN
why I shouldn’t fire you?”

Gabby smiled at Melissa with what she hoped was confidence, but what she feared was actually desperation. “Because I think I might have a new angle on the Jamison Hunter scandal that, once exposed, will make for an immediate nationwide bestseller.”

Sitting on the edge of the chair in her boss’s office, Gabby contemplated the questionable ethics involved with her plan. True, she did believe there was more to the story than anyone—than Jamie—was admitting. If she was right, and the truth about what happened that day wasn’t what the world believed, then absolutely the story would sell millions of books.

People remembered the scandal of Jamison Hunter the way they did the stories about Monica Lewinsky and Tiger Woods. As much as everyone wanted to celebrate heroes in all forms, watching those same people fall from grace was even better. It was good entertainment. And even better entertainment? The redemption. To find out there was more to the story, of course people would want to read it.

The question was whether she would feel comfortable giving away Jamie’s secrets once she knew them. She had this crazy idea that once the truth, whatever it was, was finally uncovered, he would see the light and recognize that a book chronicling his life and releasing him from his secrets was the best thing for everyone.

Maybe a follow-up interview on
20/20
with his biographer at his side wouldn’t hurt, either.

As desperate as she was, even she didn’t believe it would ever happen. As angry as she was at him for kicking her out of his bed and out of his house, she would never knowingly betray him, either. Any book that came out of these events would have to be Jamie’s idea.

Still, Gabby was going to find the truth. Jamie would simply be the one to decide what she would do with the information she uncovered.

As for Melissa… Gabby decided her role was on a need-to-know basis only.

“So? Don’t leave me hanging. What’s the big revelation?”

“I don’t think what happened that fateful day outside the motel in Florida really happened. I think there was a misunderstanding.”

Melissa rolled her eyes, which Gabby wanted to point out wasn’t the best look for her.

“Gabby, come on. The man was called out before the world as an adulterer with a capital A. He didn’t deny it once. You think he would have let people believe it if he was innocent. If it was all some crazy misunderstanding among friends like a bad episode of
Three’s Company?
I don’t think so.”

He would have if he’d been protecting someone, Gabby thought. The one thing she knew about him from their weeks together was that he’d always sacrificed himself to protect someone he cared about. So she needed to talk to the people involved and find out once and for all what he’d done and who Jamison Hunter was.

Other than the man she’d foolishly given her heart to.

Since she had already confirmed Jamie wasn’t going to talk that left two other people.

“Look, we’re talking about two trips. A couple of days each at most.”

“Where you plan to do what? Find Cheryl Hillerman and get her to speak about what happened? Something she has never once done for any journalist, television reporter, any news organization? Even more closed mouth than her is Hunter’s ex-wife. The only comment the woman has ever made was to check the box citing irreconcilable differences on her divorce decree. It isn’t going to happen.”

“I can be very convincing.” Gabby could use a little of that convincing power right now.

This was important. Having the backing of a publisher might make her more reputable to the two women involved. Showing up as an unemployed talk show host who happened to be in love with Jamie Hunter didn’t seem like a way to win them over. Acting in an official capacity as his biographer gave her more cache and hopefully would persuade them to open up.

Even if Gabby’s reason for being there was a lie.

Gabby squirmed a little in her chair and tried not to think about how she was using Melissa and McKay Publishing for her own ends. Except, they knew the risks. As an industry, publishing thrived on a gamble. All she was asking was they step up to the table and roll the dice.

What happened after would be anyone’s guess.

Melissa tapped the ends of her fingers together, making her long nails click. Gabby was reminded slightly of Cruella DeVille, but forced herself to keep her expression neutral.

“Let’s look at this from the ten-thousand-foot view, shall we?” the senior editor began. “You’re not a writer. You’re not a print journalist.”

“I was,” Gabby interrupted. “At the start of my career.”

“You wrote articles for fashion and entertainment magazines.”

“Yes, but some of it was really…hard-hitting stuff.” Gabby thought about her first interview with a local Philadelphia actress who she made cry after she confessed to having had breast enhancement surgery—something she’d repeatedly denied in the press up to that point.

“That was then. This is now. Now, you’re a new editor who failed in the first assignment I gave her. And you want me to sign off on this exploratory mission of yours to prove Jamison Hunter—a self-confessed adulterer—is innocent of cheating on his wife?”

Gabby closed her eyes. When put like that, it didn’t seem likely Melissa would agree to her plan.

In a last ditch effort, she played her trump card. “Both Cheryl Hillerman and Paula Hunter will talk to me. I know it.”

“Why?” The skepticism rolled off Melissa’s tongue.

“Because we have something in common. We all are, or were at some point, in love with Jamie Hunter. They’ll talk to me because they’ll see I care about him.”

Melissa fell back into her chair. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I send you up there to get a commitment on a biography and you fall in love with the damn guy. Is that what this is about? Some romantic hope he isn’t the creep he’s reported to be.”

Gabby leaned forward until her hands were braced on her boss’s desk, her urgency a very real thing exploding in her chest.

“Melissa, I’m telling you this guy isn’t who the world thinks he is. I know it deep down inside. He’s a hero and an American icon. His name and reputation were trashed, possibly for no good reason. If Cheryl and Paula ultimately refuse to talk to me, then fine. It’s my dime and you can fire me as fast as you like. If they do talk, you need to let me tell the story and you need to listen to it. I know I’m right. The country needs the truth.”

I need the truth.

“You’re right, Haines. You’re very convincing.” Melissa shook her head and smiled. “‛The country needs the truth.’ You sound like a bad movie. Okay. I’ll authorize the trips but you get your expense check only if we get a book. Even if we can’t get Hunter to talk, I’ll still bite if either of these women are interested in coming forward to tell their side. You’ve now got three chances to get me one book. I assume you know where to find both women.”

Gabby did. Although they did everything to keep a low profile, the internet had yielded the names of the towns they both called home. From there it was simply a matter of finding the right people who would point Gabby in the direction she needed to go.

“Okay. We’ll make sure you have what you need. But this time, Gabby, if you don’t bring me back the book, any book… You know there will be no third chances.”

She wasn’t going to need a third chance. She was sure of it. One of the women would talk to her. Even if she had to shake the truth out of them.

* * *

“G
ABBY
!” J
AMIE
BOUNDED
up the steps to the B and B. The sick feeling he’d been left with all night grew darker. The reality that he’d pushed her away for good sank in some time around midnight.

He’d let it stew for a good couple of hours, telling himself he’d done the right thing until about 4:00 a.m. when he was certain he’d made the biggest mistake of his life. There had been another hour of stewing because, even though he knew he’d made a mistake, he wasn’t entirely convinced he could fix it if he wanted to.

Now the sun was coming up on the island and he was here with the hope he could make everything better. But no one was responding to his shouts, until finally Susan came out of the kitchen, looking slightly disheveled.

“She’s gone, Jamie.”

Yeah, he knew it. Her car wasn’t parked out front and somehow the island felt a little lonelier. He needed to see the proof for himself, though.

“She came back early last night and threw all her stuff together and took off for the ferry. I could see she was in a state and I told her to wait until morning, but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

Because he had told her to go. He had told her to get out. Standing there half naked listening to her tell him she believed in him… It was too much. He’d been overwhelmed at the same time feeling stripped and raw and more vulnerable than he’d ever been in his life.

Maybe that was the real reason he kicked her butt to the curb. It had nothing to do with protecting her, or preventing her eventual heartache when she learned the truth about him. Instead, it was
his
heart he’d been protecting. Because he felt her belief in him straight to his core. He wanted to hold on to it. Treasure it. He wanted to believe he could really claim it and call it his own.

He wanted to believe it would last forever.

“I blew it, Susan.”

The older woman nodded then tugged on his hand. “I’ll make you some coffee and you can have a fresh muffin.”

Unthinking he followed her into her kitchen. This room was sacrosanct for Susan. No guests ever came in here. But she sat him at a large, family-size table and put a hot blueberry muffin she’d pulled out of the oven in front of him along with a cup of coffee.

“What happened?”

“I told her to leave. Why did I do that?”

She nodded and sat with her own coffee. “Love can be a very scary thing.”

Love.
The word had him sitting straighter. “I don’t love her. Why would you say that?”

He didn’t love her. He liked her a lot. He liked her company. Her presence in his life, which felt a lot fuller when she was around. He liked that she didn’t take herself or him too seriously.

Okay, he loved her body. He loved her body
a lot.

“Maybe you can’t admit you were headed that way. Maybe you think it will be easier to get over her. Take it from me, honey, it won’t. Our feelings are what they are. You can’t change them, or wish them away. This is going to hurt you, Jamie.”

“I can make her come back. If I told her something, I could make her believe in me… I could make her come back.”

“I don’t think you should do it,” Susan said. “I’m sorry you’re hurt, but the truth is, I don’t think you were ready for Gabby.”

Her words jerked him out of his own depressing thoughts. “What do you mean?”

“You haven’t let anyone get close to you since I’ve known you. Not really close. You keep everyone at arm’s length and it wouldn’t have worked with her. Gabby, I could tell, was a person who needs to be all the way in. That’s the only way she feels safe. I was worried for her.”

“Worried for her? I’m the one sitting here looking like a fool.”

“Because you pushed her away. Because you’re not ready.”

Was Susan right? It was scary to think how many different ways he could have played out the scene in his bedroom. He could have told Gabby everything. He could have accepted what she had to offer and tried to build on it. He could have kept her close.

Instead, he told her to get out. And not for the first time. Now that he thought about it, he had to wonder why she kept coming back. Every time he pushed her away, she rebounded like a puppy who didn’t understand it didn’t belong. Was it for the story? Or was it for him?

If it was for him, he had to agree with Susan. Maybe he wasn’t ready. On the heels of that acknowledgment was the crazy feeling he wanted to be. Never had his solitary world seemed so dull, so depressing. He wanted Gabby’s light, her energy…he wanted
her.

“How does a person get ready?”

Susan patted his hand. “That is a very good question and one I have no idea how to answer.”

He grimaced. “You’re not helping me out here, Susan.”

She shrugged. “How about another muffin?”

* * *

“C
HERYL
H
ILLERMAN
?”

The woman with the long blonde hair turned around. She was in her early forties and still had a complexion fabulous enough she could leave her house without makeup on.

No one in Ryan’s Port, Florida, would
give Gabby her address nor was it listed in the area directory. After hours of speaking to the locals it was clear Cheryl was a treasured member of the tight-knit community and they protected their own. Gabby figured the only way to find her would be to hang out at all the usual gathering spots until eventually she came into town.

The most central of spots was the coffee shop. In typical fashion it was where people got their gossip and coffee in one stop.

Yesterday, Gabby had heard the young girl behind the counter call out to the blonde by name as she handed over a smoothie. Although it had been almost eight years since her picture had been plastered on every newspaper and tabloid in the country, Gabby easily recognized the woman at the heart of the scandal.

She had come and gone so quickly, Gabby couldn’t catch her without chasing her down the block. Not the easiest or most effective way to make an introduction. Besides, she hadn’t actually worked out what she would say. Finding the woman had been paramount. Convincing her to open up about the past was an obstacle Gabby figured she would conquer after she met her.

She’d told Melissa she could be convincing. Sitting around in a coffee shop, hoping Cheryl needed her daily fix of smoothie didn’t feel convincing. It felt nerve racking. Those nerves had kicked into high gear as soon as the blonde woman once again walked through the door. It took Gabby five seconds to gather up her courage, but she knew it was now or never.