The Virgin Master (39 page)

“I’m just saying
that
Jeremy has been traumatized and sustained life threatening injuries. An employee of Slave Regulation was instrumental in these events. The agency itself may have immunity, but as the case manager, you, Mr. Hubbard, individually, have no immunity if this case has been negligently handled.”

“Mr. Murrow
,
I’m sorry the property sustained damage. It’s too early to tell whether or not the damage will be permanent or not. He was used for sex. That’s what he’s for, primarily. I can’t see how that’s detrimental to him in the slightest.”

“Did you not see the blood? Did you not see that it was rape?”

“Slaves can’t be raped, Mr. Murrow---no more than a dining room table could complain about the weight of the dinner service. That’s a non-issue. You know that.”

Evan’s blood stopped flowing as he watched Hubbard
             
grin
while the appalling words continued to spill out of his mouth. A red mist oozed its way over the scene in front of him. Evan’s hands itched to pound into Hubbard
. H
e badly wanted to kill him
,
to wipe the grin off his face
,
to show him how it felt to be taken the way Jeremy had been taken. Anger pulsed through him and threatened to over-ride whatever shred of control he had left.

He spun on his heel again and saw Tom hooking Jeremy up to an IV
yet again.
T
he bleeding had stopped. Tom caught his eye and Evan took a deep breath and approached the cage, careful not to look at Jeremy, who clearly was totally out of control. Tom put his hand over Jeremy’s mouth as Evan neared.

*****

Jeremy wanted Evan. He needed him. But it was clear that after what happened Evan didn’t want him anymore. Evan wouldn’t even look at him. Jeremy had finally been so sullied that even
Evan’s love for him wouldn’t make a difference. Immersed in physical pain already, the emotional pain and longing that swept over him when he couldn’t even get Evan’s attention as he lay on the floor of the cage bleeding and hurt eclipsed every other kind of pain he had ever had or imagined having. The pain of the Rourke flogging paled in comparison to the idea that Evan no longer wanted to have anything to do with him. Tom said something to him, but he couldn’t hear it for the roar of blood in his ears as he watched Evan deliberately turn his back and walk away. He desperately cried out for him.

“Jeremy! Jeremy!” Tom whispered urgently in the distraught slave’s ear.

Tom grabbed Jeremy’s chin and forcibly turned his face
upward
. Jeremy shut his eyes hoping to avoid any kind of sympathy at the moment.

“Jeremy, remember where you are. Remember
why
you’re where you are. His feelings toward you
have not changed
. This is really one place where both of you have to be careful to show
nothing
. Are you listening?”

He heard Tom and he was really trying to listen but all he could discern were disjointed sounds meaning absolutely nothing to him.
M
isery well
ed
up in his chest and
he
needed to scream. Tom pinched off his nose and covered his mouth, effectively smothering him. Jeremy tried to buck him off, but Tom injected him with something that cast a warm pink tinge over everything. He tried to turn his head to look at Evan one more time, but darkness descended before he could focus his eyes. His last thought
was good-bye.

Evan approached as Jeremy lost consciousness.

“What’s happening, Tom?”

*****

Tom sighed. “How’s Sean making out with the argument to let him go home?”

“I
had to stop listening
. Hubbard had the nerve to say that slaves can’t be raped and Jeremy couldn’t possibly have been traumatized by being put to his ‘primary use.’” Evan’s voice shook so hard with anger that he was difficult to understand. Tom saw that the man had crammed his fists into his pockets and his body was taut as a bowstring with rage.

“His physical injuries are actually pretty minor. The gunshot wounds are both clean and the bullets missed bone and major arteries. The wound to his neck lacked about a millimeter being fatal, but that’s all stitched up and will be fine. His rectum’s torn up
again, not as bad as last time. N
othing that won’t heal.
”

“
But, Evan, he saw you look and then turn away. He construed that as rejection. I had to give him a sedative and nearly smother him to keep him from screaming and begging.”

“Oh, shit. I need to be alone with him. Are you going to be able to convince them that he needs to go to a medical
             
facility?”

“No. I can’t even suggest that he be put on suicide watch because he’s not supposed to care that much what you think.”

“Suicide! Is that a possibility?”

“A certainty, I would say if you can’t find some way to
             
reassure him.”

Evan’s rage increased to the point that Tom feared he would explode and give everybody in the room a piece of his mind, proving conclusively that he was in love with Jeremy.

“Get it together man. One minute at a time.”

“I can’t stand this.”

“You don’t have a choice. Neither does Jeremy.”

“How long will they let you stay here?”

“Don’t know. I can try to make some shit up about blood pressure issues or something.”

Evan smiled, tight-lipped. “Remind me to tell you later how great I think you are and how much I…we…appreciate everything that you’ve done for us. Words aren’t enough.”

Tom smiled gently at Evan. “I’ve seen you at some of the worst times in your life. I’ve been amazed by your ability to control yourself. Don’t make me lose that admiration. You’ve just got to get through the next eight hours or so. Even if they won’t let him go home, the hearing will be expedited now, because they’re going to feel like Jeremy’s too dangerous to house here.”

*****

Sean came up behind Evan at that moment an put his arm around him, wincing inside as he touched Evan’s body. Steel was softer.

“They won’t agree to rele
a
se him, but the hearing has been set for noon tomorrow.”

Evan spun around. “Are we ready?”

Sean grinned. “Oh, yeah. My assistant is giving out su
bpoenas
like candy right about now.”

“Ask Steve
Hubbard
to testify.”

“Already done. You’re doing great by the way. I have no idea how you’re holding it together. I wanted to punch that filth’s face in when he said slaves couldn’t be raped. You were wise to walk away at that point. Now; as bad as you don’t want to, you have to leave now. We need to leave together. You’ve checked on your property and now you’re leaving.”

Evan’s face contorted and he masked his agony by scrubbing his face with his hands and nodding. Sean took him through the door into the stairwell.

“Can you hold it together until we get to the car?”

Evan shrugged. Sean walked faster.

When he finally broke down, Sean couldn’t help him. So he drove. Evan sank deeply into his rage and sorrow in the passenger seat, beating on the dashboard, on his own body, on the seats until his hands were bruised and bloody.  Sean tried not to react, but he had only seen something like this once before; the day he and Jeff had pried Justin’s corpse out of Evan’s arms.  Evan had a huge capacity for love
. A
long with that came an equally huge capacity for rage and sorrow.

“He’s not dead, man. Tom said he’s not even hurt that bad.”

Evan turned his tear ravaged face toward Sean. “He’s
             
alone and he thinks I’ve rejected him because I couldn’t go to him. He’ll kill himself, first chance he gets.”

Sean had heard of sinking sensations but had never had one before.  He tightened his grasp on the steering wheel of his BMW as it seemed the foundations of the world shifted beneath him.

He pulled out his phone and called Tom. Tom was still in the
cage monitoring Jeremy’s condition. Hubbard was too stressed out and worried about possible bad press or liability to
             
contest
much of what Tom wanted.

“Tom? Sean. How’s our boy? Is he conscious? Somebody needs to talk to him and I think he needs to hear it.”

Tom looked at Jeremy who, while nominally conscious, had been totally unresponsive. “Jeremy; Evan wants to talk to you.”

Jeremy moaned and shook his head slightly.
Can’t he even tell me in person he’s going to sell me? Can’t I even get that much?

Tom held the phone to Jeremy’s ear anyway and pinned Jeremy when he tried to squirm away. “It’s not what you think, dumbass. Why are you always so ready to think the worst?”

Jeremy gave him an incredulous look and Tom winced.

“Okay, I get it. Your life hasn’t exactly been marshmallow fluff and bunnies lately. Just listen to what he has to say. Please. If it doesn’t make you feel better; or if he says he doesn’t want you
anymore, well then, I’ve got an overdose of morphine I can leave here when I go.”

Jeremy sighed and looked more hopeful as Tom held up four syringes and laid them down on the floor next to Jeremy’s bunk. He closed his eyes and waited.

*****

“Jeremy? God, Jeremy! I know what you think--- I could see it all over you. Please, please don’t think for one second that I don’t want you anymore. I want you so much I’m going to die from it. Nothing they did to you has any bearing on how much I love you or what kind of person you are. Sean got the hearing set up for noon tomorrow.
I’ll have you home with me by tomorrow night. Please tell me you hear me. Jeremy?”

“You’re just saying that so I’ll live long enough to be sold and you can get some of your money back.” Jeremy’s tones were flat and lifeless. Evan couldn’t hear a trace of the man he loved in them anywhere.

Not bothering to try to disguise that fact that Jeremy’s words cut him to the quick, Evan wept openly.

“I understand why you might feel that way, but nothing in this world could ever make me sell you. Nothing. No amount of money or anything else. You’ve been so strong
for
so long I would understand if you don’t want to continue risking your life or your health by being with me, but, God, I can’t….if I had come anywhere near you this after
noon, everybody would have been
overwhelmingly aware of just how “inappropriately emotionally attached” I am to you. You’re my life. Please promise me that you’ll wait to take any kind of drastic action until after we find out how the hearing goes. Please? If you ever loved me? I should be asking you how you can still feel anything at all for me. Ever since I bought you, very little good has happened for you.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I got to feel what it might be like if you actually did love me. For a little while.”

“Jeremy…don’t. Everything I told you was true. It’s still true. Shit. I can’t…”

*****

Tom picked up the phone. “Evan?”

 
Evan could barely control his breathing well enough to speak. “Tom---why won’t he believe me?”

“He has very little strength left. I think you know that being raped again was his biggest fear. Having it happen, and then having everybody treat it as if it’s of no consequence, I think, made him finally realize that he actually
is
property. You never made him feel like that. He’s had his whole world ripped away from him today….you included, he thinks. I don’t know
Evan. I’ll stay with him as long as they’ll let me, but I will have to leave before the hearing tomorrow. He needs to rest, but…his mental state is…well, I don’t have to tell you. I think
             
it’s easier for him to believe you
don’t want him anymore than to
take the chance on believing you.”