The Virgin Master (42 page)

“What are you thinking?”

“Are you ordering me to tell you?”

“No. I’m asking as your lover to please help me mak
e things
right, here. Please?”

“When will I be sold?”

Evan huffed. “Never. I left you to Jeff in my will and if he dies first then to Sean.  If they both die, we’ll come up with someone else. I don’t want to be without you for even a minute ever again. I know you’re having trouble believing me, but I don’t know why. Can you help me understand?”

Jeremy’s lower lip trembled slightly. Evan felt a little encouraged since that was the first outward sign of emotion he had seen.

“How can you possibly want me now? I’ve been ruined.” Jeremy’s voice was gravelly and wrecked.
“I’m
scarred
, not just on my back now, but my throat and legs will have scars. Both Frank and that monster have had me, and I couldn’t stop them. You deserve to have someone perfect and not tainted like I am. Plus I’m all messed up. I can’t get what happened out of my head for one second. I don’t know if I’ll ever be all right again.” Tears flowed freely by the time he finished his last sentence.

“Oh, sweetheart.” Evan pulled Jeremy into his arms and
held him
.

S
uddenly Jeremy burrowed into him, putting his face
on Evan’s shoulder and erupting in wracking, whooping sobs.
Evan
rocked him slowly, shedding his own tears, hoping that this might be what Jeremy needed to start healing.

*****

After a long time, Jeremy cried himself out and just lay in Evan’s arms, trying to memorize the feeling for when he had to leave again. He didn’t believe Evan at all. It didn’t make financial sense to keep such a badly damaged asset. Evan surely couldn’t have managed to act as unconcerned as he had unless it was true. Nobody was
that
good.

“What did you expect me to do? Throw a screaming fit in front of the security cameras, Frank and the fucking FBI?”

“Did I actually say all that stuff out loud?”

“Yeah, and I’m glad you did. When did you start thinking about yourself as an ‘asset’? Why would you believe that’s what I think? I behaved the way I did because I had to or lose you. Losing you is unthinkable to me. There is no me without you anymore.”

*****

Tired of words, Evan kissed Jeremy softly, hoping that Jeremy would reciprocate. Jeremy did not kiss back. Determined to reach the feelings he knew Jeremy had, Evan just continued to softly kiss Jeremy’s lips and then moved on down his jaw to his neck. He got a tiny gasp and continued to kiss Jeremy as if he planned to just
settle down and kiss him for the rest of his life. When he felt Jeremy trembling, he redoubled his efforts. For some reason a vision of trying to start a fire by
rubbing two sticks together entered his mind. Patience, gentleness and persistence were called for here.

He slowly unbuttoned Jeremy’s shirt, kissing each newly revealed expanse of flesh. He was rewarded by hearing Jeremy’s breathing deepen.

“Evan?”

Evan stopped and gave Jeremy his full attention.

“Please stop. If you don’t mean it, please….” Jeremy turned his head away.

Evan crawled up the bed and cradled Jeremy’s face between his hands.

“What do I have to do? What do I have to say? What can convince you that I’m telling you the truth? I still love you. I might even love you more. I’m
never
letting you go. I wouldn’t sell you if you had come back blind, one-legged and castrated. I need you. But, I need you to
want
to be with me. Jeremy, do you want to leave?”

Jeremy looked at him and Evan saw a tiny spark come alive briefly.

“I don’t know. I mean---I want things back like they were before. I just feel so dirty and ugly, now. I couldn’t want me now and I just can’t see why you would. I
want
to believe you. God knows I love you so much it’s killing me.”

Evan hugged him close. “You’re torturing the life out of me. Please
. N
othing that happened had anything to do with you really. You had no choice. If anything, it’s my fault since I seem to be the target. I don’t know why you would ever forgive me for that.”

Slowly Jeremy’s arms came up around Evan’s body and tightened. Arousal raged through Evan and he held Jeremy’s head and kissed him. This time his passion was returned in more than equal measure. The two melted into one another, Evan desperate to
comfort and reassure and Jeremy equally desperate to receive any comfort he could get. Evan drew back from Jeremy and brushed his hair back away from his eyes.

“I don’t want to do anything else to hurt you. I’m kind of afraid to touch you anywhere.”

“I pretty much hurt everywhere you don’t touch me, Ev. Please, I know I’m not up to any kind of main event here but I
             
need you to touch me. I can still feel them all over me
. P
lease take it away.”

Evan obliged him, running his hands gently over every inch of Jeremy, the caress becoming almost non-existent over the ugly bruising and the stitched up lacerations. Very carefully, Evan levered himself up over Jeremy and began kissing every bruise, every cut, murmuring soft endearments and reassurances that made no sense at all, but came pouring out of him anyway.

*****

Jeremy reveled in his Master’s gentle touch, but even more at the words of love washing over him. Evan had been too
convincing in his blasé uncaring attitude around Jeremy during
his tenure in the detention cage, after the rape. Rationally, Jeremy had known exactly how Evan had to behave to preserve any chance they might have of being reunited. Being on the receiving end of that act, hurt far more than he could have imagined. He felt the healing power of Evan’s loving touches working its way gently but firmly into his mind and heart. Surrendering totally to his
m
aster’s attention, Jeremy felt exhaustion slowly seep into all of his limbs and he drifted off to sleep.

*****

Normally, Evan would have felt highly offended that Jeremy had gone to sleep while Evan gave him his undivided attention. This time, though, he felt ridiculously triumphant. Jeremy trusted him enough to fall asleep in his arms. Evan realized that he hadn’t been able to really sleep since Jeremy had been removed. Sighing and pulling Jeremy into a gentle embrace, Evan followed him down into sleep, hoping that Jeremy would recover his trust and faith in him.

*****

Jeremy couldn’t get up and down off the floor until his legs healed. So Evan let him work from his room in the apartment. After one day of being separated from Jeremy, Evan worked from home, too. He could hardly bear to let Jeremy out of his sight. Especially now that Frank Owens had been released on bond and could be out and about plotting God knew what. The annual board meeting came two
weeks after Evan brought Jeremy home.

Mark willingly set up a feed through closed circuit television to Evan and Jeremy’s bedroom television so that Jeremy could watch the board meeting. Mark and Evan didn’t share that tidbit with anybody else. Board meetings were supposed to be confidential
. But Evan believed that
Jeremy had as large a stake in the outcome as Evan and Allen did.

Tension crackled in the board room as Evan and his father entered. All of the other board members had arrived early and the air felt redolent of dropped conversation as the president and the CEO took their places. Frank Owens was there; out on bail wearing an ankle monitor. He grinned inappropriately at Evan.

“Hey, Ev how’s Jeremy?”

Grinding his teeth, Evan smiled back politely. “Recovering.”

“He’s been beat to hell these last few months, hasn’t he? Ready to sell yet?”

Evan thought he could literally feel his blood pressure rise although he knew that wasn’t possible. He met Frank’s eyes easily.

“Not a chance.”

Frank surveyed the table, leaning back in his chair and grinning even more broadly.

“Gentlemen? And Ms.
Pickering. What do you call an owner who keeps a slave after he’s so broken he can’t be used for his primary purpose? That’s right! Inappropriately attached. Don’t you think?”

The other board members avoided Evan’s gaze. This was trouble.

“I think you tried that one already, Frank. You lost after a lengthy hearing. Let’s leave my personal life outside the board room, okay? And I won’t get into yours.”

“
Ooooh
. Struck a nerve? Well, okay. I call the Board of James Enterprises, Incorporated, to order for our annual meeting. We have several items on the agenda this evening in addition to reviewing the company’s financial performance for the last year. First would be my proposed resolution to remove Evan James as CEO based on his abysmal psychological evaluation. Can I get a second?”

“Excuse me?” Evan came to his feet.

“Oh, that’s right you haven’t seen it, have you?”

Frank smirked as he flung a packet across the table to Evan. Evan stared at it, and then willing his hands
to be steady
, with minimal success, he opened the manila envelope and
reviewed the evaluation. After a few minutes and letting his father read it as well, Evan looked back up at the board.

“I don’t understand. This isn’t at all bad. My score has improved by nearly sixty percent. As I recall, the board’s motion required only a twenty percent improvement. My scores in the ethics and responsibility section are perfect. What about this is, what did you call it? Oh, yes. Abysmal. Show me that part.”

Frank cleared his throat. “Take a look at the very first paragraph. ‘Subject utilizes caring for his personal slave’s health issues as coping skill.’ That’s enough right there to show you’re not okay
. O
r even close to okay.”

Evan smiled gently. “The evaluating psychologist is here this evening. I suggest we allow him to come in and answer the board’s questions.”

Surprised, Frank pounded on the table causing all the other board members to jump.

“No! Obviously now you will have managed to corrupt the doctor. What are you paying him to perjure himself for you?”

Evan laughed. “I think you have me confused with you, Frank. I don’t operate like that. But if you want me to give the board some examples of your behavior, I can certainly do that.”

Evan flinched slightly inside; he
had
operated like that in the past and Frank probably knew it.

The men stared at each other across the conference room table; Frank glaring and Evan meeting that glare with calm equanimity. The rest of the board members watched the confrontation as if mesmerized; dead quiet prevailed. Allen leaned back in his chair, letting his son deal with Frank’s attack as if he had no doubt as to the outcome. Evan had been prepared for something to be misquoted or for the entire report to be false. Evan had not seen the report, but he had a long discussion with Dr. Meier who assured him that he felt Evan to be a model of stability under the circumstances.

*****

Jeremy at the moment was at home, watching the meeting on closed-circuit television. He could barely walk, even with his crutches due to the combination of the gunshot wounds to his legs; the damage done to his rectum and his still healing back. Initially, Evan had thought that watching Frank’s bullshit live might subject Jeremy to too much stress
.
Jeremy had countered that all he would do would be worry the entire time Evan was out of his sight, so Evan had given in and set up a feed to the television in their bedroom. Jeremy and Marta sat on the bed; their eyes glued to the screen. Jeremy unconsciously fisted the sheets so hard Marta feared he would do some injury to hands and swatted at him. Relaxing, Jeremy fell back into the mound of pillows Evan left for him and felt totally helpless. He wanted to take Frank apart with his bare hands. Worse, he knew he could easily do it. But that wouldn’t solve any problems and would just create more trouble for Evan.